Where Do We Go From Here
by junebugx87
Summary: Brooke Davis has everything she could ever ask for. But what happens when her whole life is turned upside down? Who will be there to help pick up the pieces? Major Brulian, Naley & Jeyton. Full summary inside!
1. Prologue

**A/N- Hey guys! This is the first fic I've posted in a while! I've been writing for a little bit, but I haven't posted any of my work. So this may be a little rusty! But hopefully you guys like it. This is going to start out as Brucas, but this is a Brulian fic! Don't get me wrong, I love Brucas, but I'm finding myself loving all the Brulian action going on! =) I'm going to start this out in present time and then after that it's going to be dated a few months back. I'm going to work my way up to present time gradually. I hope thats not confusing! So hopefully you guys like this! Please let me know what you guys think! Enjoy.  


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Summary: Brooke Davis has everything she could ever ask for. A great boyfriend, amazing friends, and an overall great life. She was the type of person who liked to have everything in her control. But what happens when her whole life is turned upside down? Will she rise above it and remain the same girl she's always been? Or will the world be introduced to a new Brooke Davis? Major Brulian, Naley, Jeyton, Some Brucas & Peyton/Julian.

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill nor am I in any way affiliated with any of the actors of the show.

**Prologue**

March 10, 2006

**Brooke's POV**

I didn't need to turn around to know that he was there. I could feel his presence the moment he stepped into the gym.

Plastering a smile on my face, I begin to jump up and down screaming "Go Ravens!" with the rest of my squad. I try so desperately to avoid his piercing brown eyes.

How could he come here? How could he come here with Lucas here? With Peyton here? How could he come here, knowing that this was killing me?

Like it's killing him? I hear a voice in my head remind me, but I shake my head. I can't go there tonight.

I glance at Peyton anxiously, afraid that she might have already seen him. The smile on her face lets me know that she hasn't.

I sigh, quietly.

I should have known he wouldn't stay away. How could I ask that of him, knowing that I wouldn't be able to stay away, had he asked me. It was unfair to him. It was unfair to me. It was unfair to Lucas and Peyton.

_Oh god, Lucas._ I was a horrible girlfriend. How could I do this to him? And Peyton? She was going to hate me.

I could feel his eyes on me, waiting. Waiting for me to finally look up at him, but I couldn't. I couldn't let myself go there. Because I knew there was no returning.

Taking a deep breath, I turn toward Haley and Peyton. I offer them a smile as they smile at me, but I know that mine doesn't mirror theirs. I hope they don't notice. How would I explain this to them? What would I say to Peyton?

I watch as the last seconds of the clock run out, and feel myself growing more and more anxious. Had anyone seen him yet? Was he even still here? I was afraid to look.

"Brooke! We won!" I hear Haley squeal, before running onto the court. No doubt to find Nathan. The Ravens had just won the championship, after all.

I spot Lucas making his way toward me, and I feel my pulse quicken at the sight of him. I hear a voice in the back of my head telling me that I don't deserve him, but I push it aside. I already know that.

"Congratulations, Broody!" I hug him tight. I feel like every time I hug him lately, I'm afraid to let go. I'm afraid its going to be the last time he holds me in his arms.

It's not like you wouldn't deserve it, the voice in my head taunts. I bury my head into his neck, hiding from the voice.

I take a deep breath, letting the scent of him fill my senses.

"Thanks, Pretty Girl." He whispers in my ear, holding me close.

I feel my heart thud into my chest as he rubs his hands up and down my back, and for a moment I'm scared that he could hear it. It was deafening. I look up slowly, and see him smiling brightly and right away I know that he can't. I feel myself sigh in relief.

He leans in and kisses me tenderly, and for a moment I allow myself to get lost in his kiss.

But he pulls away too soon, and I'm once again painfully aware of the piercing eyes just a few feet away.

"You ready to go?" He asks me, kissing my forehead softly.

I feel a lump forming in the back of my throat as tears sting my eyes as the pain almost consumes me, but I swallow it away, knowing I can't loose control. Not here. Not infront of Lucas.

Not in front of him.

I nod, unable to trust my voice right now.

He smiles, wrapping his arm around my shoulders before leading me toward the double doors across the gym.

I look over and see Peyton and Jake talking to Mr. and Mrs. Jagielski. I can tell from the smile on her face that she hasn't seen him. Not yet.

It's right before we reach the doors that I allow myself to turn and look at him.

He's staring at me, and even from across the gym I can see the emotion in his eyes. Anger, pain, sadness.

I feel like my heart slam against my chest as he takes a step toward me and he stops, his eyes burning into mine.

I can't help but wish he hadn't stopped. But I'm glad that he did.

I wish for a second that I can go to him, wrap my arms around him and kiss away the pain. But I know that I can't.

I need to get out of here before Lucas sees him. Before Peyton sees him.

"What's he doing here?" I hear Lucas growl, angrily. He tightens his hold around my shoulders, causing me to look up at him in surprise. Did I say that out loud?

I look over at him again, silently begging him to go. Please. For me, I beg.

I can't let this happen. Not here, not now. Not ever.

"Who?" I hear Nathan ask Lucas. I didn't even hear Nathan and Haley walk over to us.

And as he says his name, I feel my heart beating so fast, I feel like it's going to burst through my chest at any moment.

I'd been so careful not to speak the name. The name that literally knocked the breath out of me. The name I wanted so badly to forget.

But the name I knew so well.

"Julian Baker."_

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*** A/N : I'm sorry that it's so short, but its just the prologue! I've had this idea brewing for a little while now, and after watching Monday's episode, I decided to give it a chance! I hope that I didn't confuse anyone. I didn't wanna give away too much. I'm going to start the first chapter a couple of months before this, so I can explain everything leading up to this point. It's been a while since I wrote a fic, so be gentle! Anything you guys liked/disliked/loved/hated let me know! I'm open for any ideas or suggestions. Thanks so much!**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N - Hey guys! Thanks so much to everyone who read & reviewed. I really appreciate it! I know the prologue was short, but don't worry - The chapters will get longer, I promise. I'm not sure how long this story is going to be. I guess it depends on the response I get! Just to let everyone know, I'm going to be using some things from the show, but I'm gonna say 99% of this is going to be AU. I will explain everything, I promise! As you might already be able to tell the pairings are Brucas for now, Peyton/Julian for now, Naley, Jeyton, and inevitably Brulian. Just FYI Haley and Nathan did not get married, and she never left for her tour. Also, Lucas and Nathan are not brothers. I'll explain the rest in the coming chapters. I'm sorry for any confusion, but I promise it'll be cleared up! Anyway, Here's the next chapter. You'll notice that I didn't do this in Brooke's POV. I'm not sure if I'm going to be doing that again. Hope you enjoy!**

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Disclaimer: I do not own OTH or am I in any way affiliated with any of the actors from the show. (Although I wouldn't mind if I was! =] )

**Chapter One**

October 2nd, 2005

_'Dear Diary,_

_I had a meeting with one of the guidance counselors this morning and she asked me a question A very simple question, might I add. And I had no answer. What is the question, you ask? The question was, Brooke Davis, where do you see yourself in 10 years? Of course my first response was, 'Well, I'll be 28.' But who am I kidding? I knew that wasn't what she was asking. And so I answered it the best that I could. I told her that I hoped to be married. And happy, I added on. She seemed pleased by my answer, but I was not. I knew that I wasn't answering the question that she had been asking. All day long I've been repeating her words in my head. Where _was_ I going to be in 10 years? Would I be alone? Would I be happy? I know that the rest of my friends had the same meeting, and none of them seemed to be as perturbed as I am. They knew what they were going to be doing in 10 years. Hell, _I _knew what they were going to be doing in 10 years. Haley was going to be tutor wife, rather then tutor girl. No doubt, by then she would be tutor mom. She was going to become a teacher, and change many lives. Just like she's changed mine. Nathan, he was going to be playing for the NBA, married to Haley and he would undoubtedly be, tutor dad. Aww how sweet. Sorry, back to the subject. Peyton. Well Peyton is going to become a music producer or something to do with music. She was going to make it big. I know it. She was going to be the one producing bands like Fall Out Boy, or Kate Voegele. And Lucas. My Broody. He was going to become one of America's best selling authors. He was going to be great. Mark my words.. And me... I was going to be.. I was going to be.. Ugh! Where am I going to be? I'm going to be Brooke Davis 'Would you like fries with that?' Ew. I would _never_ work at McDonalds. Never, never, never.'_

"Hey Pretty Girl."

Brooke jumped, quickly closing her notebook before turning toward her boyfriend. She smiled.

Her and Lucas Roe met when they were in their Freshmen year. She'd had a class with Lucas' best friend, Haley James and once the two girls started to talk a little more, Haley introduced Brooke to Lucas. It was just a few weeks later that Brooke introduced Haley and Lucas to her best friends, Peyton Sawyer and Nathan Scott. It wasn't long after that Lucas and Peyton began dating. After a couple of months however, they decided to split. It had been rocky at first, but they'd managed to become good friends. Haley and Nathan got together around the same time, but unlike Lucas and Peyton, they were still together.

"What are you writing?" Lucas asked, taking a seat next to her. He leaned in, placing a soft kiss on her lips.

"Oh, uh.. Just something for my English class." She lied.

He smiled. "Brooke Davis doing homework during her lunch hour? I never thought I'd see the day."

She whacked him on the arm. "Hardy har har." She mumbled, sticking her tongue out at him.

"Hey guys!"

They both looked up to see Haley walking up to the table, Nathan was a few feet behind talking to Skills and Mouth.

"Hey Hales." Luke greeted, reaching over to steal one of Brooke's fries.

"Lucas Roe!" She swatted his hand away, rolling her eyes at the innocent smile he had on his face. _Boys and their stupid smiles._

"So Brooke, how did the meeting go this morning?" Haley asked, unwrapping the sandwich she just picked up from the lunch line.

"Good." _Horrible!_ She sighed a little. Of course someone was going to ask her about the one thing that had been bothering her all day.

"Mine was only 10 minutes long! I thought I was going to get out of first period entirely. What a rip off." Nathan complained, taking a seat next to Haley.

"Aw, poor baby." Haley teased, leaning over and kissing his cheek soundly. He grinned.

"Tutor girl, don't forget we're going shopping this Saturday. Bright and early. You too, P. Sawyer. No excuses." She informed them as Peyton sat down at the table.

Haley and Peyton raised their hands and saluted her. "Yes ma'am."

Brooke threw a fry at them both. "You two are just so cute. Really." She told them. "Where's Julian?" She smirked as her friends face lit up.

Peyton and Julian Baker had been dating about as long as Brooke and Lucas. It was right around the time that Lucas and Peyton broke up that Peyton and Julian met in a photography class they were both in. Even though Peyton had told him otherwise, Lucas believed that Julian was one of the main reasons for his and Peyton's split. It seemed as though as soon as Peyton met Julian, she had begun to pull away from Lucas. To him it felt like everytime he tried to talk to Peyton, Julian was always around, or brought up in conversation. They'd had a project, he needed to come over because he needed help with a homework assignment; the list seemed to grow each day. At first, he never brought it up, because it had always ended up in an argument. But after a couple of weeks, he decided he couldn't take it anymore. He finally worked up the nerve to confront her about it, afraid that if he left it alone any longer it would inevitably make things worse for the two. That had been a long night. After almost an entire night of screaming, crying and apologizing, they'd decided that taking a break was the best thing for them. Although it was a decision they both decided on, it was very obvious that Luke still blamed Julian.

"He had a history test last hour, he told me this morning that he may be a few minutes late." She replied, taking a bite of her sandwich.

"Probably cheated." Lucas muttered under his breath. _I wouldn't put it past him._ He was sure no one heard him until he felt Brooke kick him under the table._  
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"Ow!" He complained, rubbing his leg. She gave him a stern look.

Brooke was well aware of the tension that seemed to still exist between him and Julian, although she wished Lucas would just let it go. It had been over 2 years now, and it seemed as though to Lucas it had happened 2 months ago. It's not that she didn't understand. She knew that if she were in Lucas' shoes, she would have thought the same thing. A new guy coming into your girlfriends life, taking up most of her time and then a break up not 2 months after. It was easy to see where Lucas was coming from.

She always wondered how Lucas and Peyton remained friends. She knew that if it were her, it would be difficult to have to watch someone you weren't over with another guy. A guy that he so clearly disliked.

Luckily for Brooke, though, Lucas seemed to have let go of the rest. After everything happened with him and Peyton, she was sure it was going to take him a long time to get past it. Especially since Peyton had moved on so quickly. She was glad that she had played a major part in his healing process. She knew that there was no denying even when him and Peyton were together, she had a tiny crush on him. Though she would have never voiced it. She was content in burying her feelings, as long as her friends were happy; she was happy.

It had been a few weeks after Lucas found out about Julian and Peyton that everything changed for them. The two were hanging out at his house one Friday night, she'd offered to take him out, but he said he'd rather just stay in and watch a movie. She knew something was off about him, but she decided to let it go. After a little while, she decided that maybe it was best for him to talk about it. She asked him what was bothering him, but it seemed as though he was being especially difficult that day. Finally she'd gotten fed up and tried to leave, but he stopped her.

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_FLASHBACK  
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_"Wait, Brooke! Where are you going?" He jumped up, grabbing her arm before she could walk out the door._

_"Home, Luke. I'm sick of playing the silence game. If you don't wanna talk to me, I get it. But I can't just sit here and pretend like every thing's ok. You're not ok. I can see it." She replied, trying not to show him how upset she was. This was killing her. Knowing what it was doing to him, and feeling like there was nothing she could do to help. It was unnerving. _

_She wasn't trying to push him, she just wanted him to be happy again. She wanted him to smile again. She missed his smile._

_"I'm fine, Brooke. I promise." He reached out, taking her hands in his. He looked into her eyes, pleading with her silently not to go.  
_

_She looked down. She couldn't take the way he was looking at her. She felt guilty trying to leave when she could tell all night there was something on his mind. He'd been quiet since she'd come over a few hours before. Every time she tried to ask him what was wrong he changed the subject. She wasn't sure if she could count the amount of times he asked how her day was or what her plans were for the following day. It was when she suggested they watch The Notebook, and he agreed that she knew she couldn't ignore it in anymore._

_There was no way he was going to willingly agree to watch The Notebook. She'd been trying to convince him to watch that for weeks. She couldn't even count how many times he'd argued that it was a chick flick._

_She looked up at him after a few seconds, deciding to just tell him how she felt. What good was it doing her, keeping it all inside?  
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_"Fine, Lucas?! _This_ is what you call fine? Barely saying 2 words to me all night? Oh I'm sorry. You've said 2 words. You asked me how my day was, even after I answered you the time 5 times you asked before! This is not what I call fine, Luke." She pulled her hands from his, starting for the door once again._

_"Brooke. Don't go. Please." He stepped in front of her, blocking her from walking out of his room._

_"Why not, Lucas? Give me _one_ good reason why I should stay? It's not like we're having a good time! You've been quiet all night long! You even agreed to watch The Note-" She was silenced by his lips on hers. _

_She stood perfectly still for a moment, unable to process what was happening. It was when she felt him pull her close to him that she finally felt herself react. She threw her arms around his neck, kissing him back with the same intensity._

_After a few moments, they finally pulled away from each other, though he kept his arms around her waist. _

_He smiled as he watched her slowly open her eyes and stare at him. He could see all the different emotions dancing around in her eyes. Confusion, excitement, and his favorite; happiness._

_"-book." She finally managed to mumble. "What-" She paused, clearing her throat. She wasn't sure what to do with herself right now. "What was that?" She asked._

_He reached up, tucking the loose strand of hair in front of her eye behind her ear. "I've been distant tonight, because I've been trying not to do that all night."_

_She stared at him. "Oh." _Oh? That's what you say? Come on Brooke._  
_

_"I've been thinking about this for a long time now Brooke. I want this. I want us." He smiled at her, watching as the realization of what he was saying finally hit her. "I want you."_

_She smiled. "Really?" She asked, hesitantly. She was trying so hard to keep her excitement at bay. All she wanted to do right now was jump up and down._

_He nodded. "Really."_

_"Are you sure, Lucas? Because I don't want to be rebound. I want you to be sure about-" She was cut off once again as his lips claimed hers._

_"Positive."_

_END FLASHBACK_

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"Where are you right now?" She heard Lucas whisper in her ear.

She looked up at him, smiling. Everytime she thought about how they got together, she could still feel all the overwhelming feelings she experienced that night. She remembered how scared she was about telling Peyton about them. She thought Peyton was going to hate her. But thankfully, Peyton had given them her blessing. She was clearly not holding onto anything with Lucas. And Lucas had come a long way. She didn't know if she would be able to take it if he still had feelings for Peyton. The thought alone made her lean further into Lucas' shoulder.

He smiled down at her before kissing her softly. She could tell he was wondering what she was thinking, but knew he wouldn't ask any further. He was great like that. He knew when to ask questions, and when to let her keep her thoughts to herself. She would tell him if something was bothering her. She always did.

"Get a room, you two. There are other people at the table."

"Oh come on, P. Sawyer. Do we really need to go down that road?" Brooke teased, giving her a knowing look. There were plenty of days she was sure that Julian and Peyton had no idea the others were around. They had no problem with PDA.

Peyton shrugged, laughing. She decided not to comment. She knew how bad her and Julian were sometimes. But neither of them cared. You only live once, she often reminded her friends.

Brooke smiled, knowing she was right. She could tell by her silence that Peyton was agreeing with her.

"So is cheerleading practice cancelled today?" Haley asked. She'd heard earlier that morning that the gym was going to be occupied for a volleyball game. Apparently one of their sister schools needed to have the game at their school this afternoon, due to renovations.

"Yes, but it's totally not my doing. Whitey told me that since basketball practice is cancelled, I should cancel ours as well. I was not happy." Brooke huffed, clearly still annoyed.

Haley and Peyton glanced at eachother, both trying to suppress their laughter . "It's only one practice, Tigger."

"Haley! We have 10 weeks! 10 weeks before the Classics. We cannot afford to be cancelling practices like that."

"But you're the best, Brooke." Peyton replied. "We're gonna do great. Look how far we've come so far. We've been doing awesome. One practice isn't going to change that."

"Ya, babe. I've seen you guys. You're great." Lucas agreed, smiling as Brooke leaned up to kiss his cheek.

"Who's great?" Julian asked as he approached the table. He sat next to Peyton, kissing her head.

"Not you." Lucas responded, unable to stop himself. He hated the guy. _Who asked him?_

Peyton and Brooke both shot him a look. "Sorry." He mumbled.

He knew that Peyton really liked him, and for that, he'd tried to give him a chance. For some reason though, he just couldn't seem to trust the guy. But he had promised Brooke that he would try to be a little nicer, for Peyton's sake. He just couldn't help it sometimes, he knew how to get under his skin.

"We were just trying to tell Brooke how great the cheerleaders are doing this season." Nathan answered.

Julian nodded, ignoring Lucas' comment completely. "From what I've seen, I'd have to agree."

Peyton smiled up at him, kissing his cheek. "Thanks, baby."

"You're welcome."

"Ready?" Lucas asked Brooke, already packing up his trash. There was only so much of Julian he could take. And for some reason, today it wasn't much.

She nodded. They both had a free period next, so they normally just hung out in the library. He'd either finish up some of his homework or catch up on some of his reading, while she worked on some of her sketches. It was one of the things that Brooke loved to do most with him. Just being there with him, being able to smile and kiss him when she wanted. She loved it.

"Have fun, kids." Haley called after them.

"We plan on it." She winked at her friends before pulling a now laughing Lucas toward the double doors.

They heard Nathan snicker before calling out to them.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

**  
A/N- I hope you guys liked it. It's... 3 o'clock in the morning right now, but I really wanted to get this chapter out for you guys. Again, thank you so much to everyone who took the time to read, and especially review. Even if you wanna tell me something you don't like, please let me know! I'd love to hear what you guys think. Have a good weekend! **


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey guys! Thank you all for reading & reviewing! I've been getting a lot of hits, but not as much reviews. Please leave me a little something, letting me know what you think. I'd really appreciate it! Also, just to let everyone know, I edited the first chapter and the prologue as well. Even the summary. I want to thank BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE for letting me know of the confusion between the prologue and the first chapter. I fixed it for you! Hope its not as confusing as before =) I just want to let everyone know that the prologue is in present time, not a flashback. That was my mistake. Just to clear it up, Chapter 1 starts in October 2005 and I'm going to gradually make my way up to the present (March 2006) By the way, how great was last nights episode! I LOVED all the Brulian! They are so adorable. I was so mad when Peyton seemed to convince Brooke that he was a bad guy but she redeemed herself, Thank goodness. And Julian gave her his lettermans jacket. SO CUTE! I love it. LOL, Anyway... Here is the next chapter. It leads up to whats to come in chapter 3. Lots of drama! I hope you all like it! Let me know what you think! :)**

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Disclaimer: I do not own OTH, nor am I in any way affiliated with any of the stars from the show :]

**Chapter Two**

October 16th, 2005

"You're going to get sun poisoning."

Brooke lifted her head to glance up at Haley as she approached, before laying her head back down.

It was early Sunday afternoon and the girls were out in Brooke's backyard laying by the pool, taking advantage of the unexpected sunny day.

"Ya well, its the middle of October and do you feel how hot it is out here? When was the last time that we were able to lay by the pool this time of year? Besides, if you haven't noticed, I'm looking a little on the pale side these days, and I'm just not having that." She replied, rolling over onto her stomach.

Haley chuckled. "Brooke, I don't think theres been a day of your life that you've been pale."

She watched as Brooke seemed to think it over before shrugging.

"Maybe, Maybe not."

Haley laughed again. "Glad that you agree with me."

"What are we talking about?" Peyton asked, sitting down on the lawn chair beside Haley's, handing her and Brooke the bottles of water she'd brought from inside the house.

"About how pale Brooke is." Haley replied before taking a sip of the water.

Peyton looked at her, confused._ Brooke.. pale? Where? _Before she could respond, Brooke cut her off.

"Ya, ya. . We've already covered how un-pale I really am." She waved her hand as if to dismiss the conversation. "What happened with Julian?" She asked, rolling onto her back so she could give Peyton her attention.

Peyton sighed. She didn't really want to talk about him right now, but knew that Brooke would just wind up annoying it out of her. "Nothing. He said it was nothing. I don't know what to do. I mean seriously, I'm not an idiot. I know something's wrong."

It had been over a week now that Julian started acting different. He seemed to be trying to put some distance between the two. Which was odd to Peyton, because normally he was always trying to spend time with her or at the very least, calling her on a regular basis. But this past week, she felt like she'd barely seen or spoken to him. Aside from seeing him at school, she'd hung out with him maybe 3 times the entire week. And to make it even worse, it seemed like everytime they talked to eachother he was barely paying attention, or giving her one word responses. At first she'd just shrugged it off. The more she thought about it, though, the more she realized that it didn't seem like he was distancing himself from anyone else. Whenever they were around their friends, he was still actively engaging Nathan and the guys in conversations or making plans to hang with them after school. So after receiving encouragement from both Brooke and Haley, Peyton decided that it was time to just confront him about it.

But much to her chagrin, he'd responded that he had been thinking about college stuff and that he was fine. He'd also promised her that they would go out this weekend, just the two of them.

"We're supposed to do something on Friday, but even that I don't have a good feeling about." Peyton sighed, leaning back on her chair. She wasn't trying to whine or make her friends feel sorry for her, she just honestly didn't know what to do about it. She knew there was something going on with him, but he obviously didn't want to tell her.

"Maybe it is nothing." Haley offered, trying to make her friend feel better. She had noticed Julian acting a little different this past week, but she wasn't normally around him very much to know if it was abnormal or not for him. For all she knew, he could have gone through this type of thing often.

"It's not nothing, guys. Do you think there's someone else?" She hadn't really thought about that possibility, but now that the more she considered it, the more worried she became. What if there was someone else? Would he tell her? Ugh, she really didn't want to think about that.

"Do you really think Julian would do that to you, Peyt? I don't. Look, maybe Hales is right. Maybe it is nothing. Maybe he was just going through a little PMS and he's over it. I wouldn't worry about it too much."

"Maybe you guys are right."

"We are." Haley smiled, reaching over to give Peyton's hand a comforting squeeze.

Peyton was about to thank her friends for listening to her while she was being ridiculous but was cut off by voices cominf from the side of Brooke's house.

"On 3." They heard. They sat up, looking at eachother curiously before they heard Lucas yell "1.. 2.. 3!!"

"What the-" Haley was cut off by Lucas, Nathan, Julian and Jake Jagielski running around the house to the backyard, water balloons in hand.

"Lucas Roe!" Brooke got up, getting up and running around the pool. "Don't you even think about it." She warned, point an accusing finger at him.

He shrugged, smiling innocently. "Think about what?" He laughed at the expression on her face. She was trying to hold her glare, but he could see even from across the pool the amusement dancing in her eyes.

He slowly made his way around the pool toward her as she backed away from him. He was just about to run after her when Peyton let out a high pitched squeal, causing Brooke to look over at her friend in surprise. Julian had just thrown a balloon right at her. He took advantage of the distraction.

"Lucas! Oohh.. I'm gonna get you." She huffed as the water balloon bursted on her stomach.

"Bring it on, baby." He smiled widely as she came running at him. He caught her in his arms effortlessly, holding her arms against his chest. She struggled in his arms, trying to free one of her arms so she could punch him right in the face. Well, maybe not in the face, she just wanted to whack him in the arm a couple of times.

"Cannonball!!" Nathan yelled as he took off toward the pool. A few seconds later, he landed right next to where Lucase and Brooke were standing, soaking them both. Haley laughed loudly, watching as Brooke glared at Nathan underwater.

"Well seeing as we're already wet."

"Wh-" Before she could ask him what he meant by that, Lucas threw them both into the pool. "Ugh! Lucas Eugene!" She looked around for him once she resurfaced. He was no where to be seen.

She turned quickly when she heard him laughing behind her. She rolled her eyes as he high fived Nathan and Jake.

She shook her head. _Boys are so stupid. _She was about to get out of the pool when she noticed Peyton and Julian a few feet away fro her.

Peyton was sitting on the edge of the pool, Julian standing right infront of her in the pool. She had her arms wrapped around his neck, and she was smiling down at him.

She was glad to see that Julian was being normal with Peyton again. She'd felt so bad earlier when Peyton thought that Julian might be cheating on her. But even then, Brooke didn't think that he would actually do that to her. She knew that Lucas had his problems with him, but she'd never seen anything to share his dislike toward Julian. He always seemed to make Peyton happy, and if she was happy, Brooke was happy. The way she saw it, everyone was allowed to go through a little tiff every now and then. God knew that the girls did it often enough. So maybe this past week was just an off week for Julian. He seemed to be back to his old self, now. And that was what was important.

"Are you sure everything's ok?" Peyton asked him, looking into his eyes. She didn't want to keep bringing it up, but she also didn't want to just let it go. If there was something going on with him, she wanted to be able to help him. It hurt her to think that he wouldn't talk to her about whatever he was going through. The way she saw it, if he was going through something, she was going through it as well.

He nodded, reaching up to kiss her softly. "Everything's fine. Promise."

She frowned, still not completely convinced.

Before she could comment any further though, Nathan was calling out to him to come play chicken fight with him, Haley and Brooke. He looked up at her once, smiling before swimming over to take Brooke on his shoulders.

"You ok?" Peyton looked up as Lucas sat down next to her. They watched as Nathan went underwater, resurfacing with Haley on his shoulders.

"Bring it on, Baker." He called, walking over to Brooke and Julian.

They laughed, watching as Haley and Brooke struggled to knock the other over. They could also hear Julian and Nathan trash talking each other and coaching the girls on their shoulders.

She smiled, shaking her head. She looked over at Lucas. "Ya. I think so." They both laughed as Brooke finally managed to knock Haley and Nathan over. Julian ran around the pool, Brooke still on his shoulders, dancing in victory.

~*~

It was Friday night and the gang had all decided to go to Tric, the club that Lucas' mom and Nathan's mom co-owned. Peyton had been a little bummed, seeing as her and Julian were supposed to go out and have a night out alone, but he'd seemed really excited for everone to go out together. So, once again, she'd left it alone. She had to admit that this week had been a lot better then the last. Though, it seemed at times like he was making too much of an effort to be normal around her, she wasn't going to say anything. Anything was better then being ignored for an entire week, again.

"Wow, it's pretty packed tonight." Haley commented as they made their way toward the entrance. They walked toward the front of the line, ignoring all the glares and annoyed comments coming from everyone in the long line.

"I love that." Brooke whispered, laughing excitedly as the bouncer, Joey, let them all in.

Haley and Peyton laughed, shaking their heads. "You would, Brooke." Peyton teased, following the guys toward their normal table in the back.

"Oooh! I love this song!" Brooke exclaimed excitedly, looking toward Lucas. He shook his head, she rolled her eyes at him. "You're no fun."

"Come on, Tigger. We'll dance with you." Haley grabbed both Brooke and Peyton's hands, walking with them until they reached the dance floor.

"What is that?" Jake asked, seeing Julian pull out a small flask.

"Just a little something to get me through the night." He replied before taking a long sip. He shut his eyes tight as the alcohol burned down his throat.

Lucas and Nathan stared at him. "Dude, you know that if my mom sees that, she's going to kick you out, right?" Nathan asked, looking around nervously for his mother.

"Relax. She's way over there." Julian nodded his head toward the bar. They all looked over to see Deb and Karen talking to the Owen, the bartender. It was obvious they had no idea the gang had even arrived.

"You're crazy." Jake laughed, watching Julian take another sip before hiding the flask back inside his pocket. Julian shrugged, looking toward the dance floor to where the girls were dancing.

Lucas stared at Julian for a second longer, unable to believe what he'd just done. He wondered if Peyton knew that he was drinking. He shook his head. There was no way that she'd be okay with her boyfriend drinking, nevermind bringing a flask to his mother's club.

"Broody, come dance with me." Brooke appeared next to him, grabbing his hand. He smiled up at his girlfriend before finally allowing her to drag him onto the dance floor, deciding to put Julian in the back of his mind for the moment. Instead all he wanted to concentrate was on his girlfriend and the slow song that had just begun playing around them.

"What's wrong?" Brooke asked, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him close to her body.

He smiled, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Nothing." He felt bad lying to her, but he really didn't want to get involved. If Julian wanted to make stupid decisions, that was entirely up to him. He wasn't going to get in the middle of that.

She smiled back, leaning up to press a soft kiss to his lips. "Good." She closed her eyes, laying her head against his chest as they swayed to the music.

He looked around, seeing Haley and Nathan dancing a few feet away and was surprised to see Peyton and Jake dancing behind them. He wondered where Julian was, but shrugged it off. He didn't care.

He wasn't sure how long he stayed on the dance floor with Brooke before he informed her he was going to grab them something to drink. She'd pouted for a moment before kissing him and telling him to hurry back. She turned to Haley and Peyton, laughing with them as they started dancing together again. He noticed they were alone and laughed when he realized that Nathan and Jake had made an escape as well.

Lucas shook his head, chuckling to himself as he made his way toward the bar. "Hey Owen!" He called, getting the bartenders attention.

"Hey Luke, how's it going?" Owen greeted, shaking Lucas' hand once he made it over to him.

"Pretty good. Can I have a couple of waters, please?"

"Sure."

Lucas turned toward the dance floor again, his eyes scanning all the people before landing on Brooke and the girls. They were laughing and dancing to the music. He was glad that they were enjoying themselves. It felt like it had been a long time since they all went out and just let loose.

He was about to turn back toward the bar when a movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention. He looked over to see Julian watching the girls as well, however his expression was one of anger, not happiness.

He glanced back over to the girls and noticed something he hadn't seen before. There was a guy dancing right behind Peyton, his hands resting on both of her hips. Peyton didn't seem to mind, the guy obviously wasn't doing anything to harm her, but the look on Julian's face made Lucas realize that he thought otherwise.

As soon as he saw Julian take off toward the dance floor, Lucas was hot on his heels. He glanced over to the table and saw Nathan and Jake also making their way toward the dance floor, they'd obviously seen where Julian was headed.

Julian made it to the girls before they did and roughly pushed the guy away from his girlfriend. "What do you think you're doing man?"

Peyton looked up in surprise, taking a step toward Julian. "Hey, we were just dancing. Calm down." She placed her hands on his chest, trying to get him to back away.

Julian glared down at her for a moment, making her take a step back toward Brooke and Haley.

"Calm down, man." Nathan grabbed Julian's arm, pulling him back as well. Julian roughly shook his hand away, taking a step closer to the guy infront of him.

"Care to tell me why your hands were all over my girlfriend?" Julian asked, angrily.

"Dude, we were just dancing." The guy responsed, shaking his head at Julian before walking away.

"What was that?" Julian turned his anger toward Peyton, surprising everyone around them. No one had ever seen him this angry.

"Have you been drinking?" Peyton asked, watching as he stumbled backward. Nathan reached out, steadying him.

Lucas walked over to where Haley and Brooke were standing, stepping front of the girls. He wasn't sure what was going to happen, but he knew that he wasn't going to let anything happen to them.

"Maybe. What's it to you?" He spat, stumbling backward again. This time, he steadied himself.

"Dude, we need to get you outta here." Nathan mumbled, watching as both Deb and Karen started to make their way toward them.

"Whatever man. I'll find my own way home." Julian shook Nathan's hands off his shoulders, stalking off toward the exit.

Peyton stood there, watching him until she couldn't see his back anymore. She had no idea what just happened. One minute she was dancing having fun with Haley and Brooke, and the next Julian was trying to start a fight with some guy she didn't even know. And he had been drinking, how had she missed that?

"Is everything alright?" Karen asked, eyeing the group cautiously. She'd seen how angry Julian was, and how shaken up Peyton seemed to be now.

"Ya, mom. Everything's fine. We were just leaving." Lucas put his arm around Brooke's shoulders, leading everyone out of the building.

"Come on, Peyt." Haley whispered, taking her hand. "Let's go."

They all made their way to where Nathan's SUV was parked, everyone getting in quietly.

The car ride home was quiet, each of them unsure of what to say.

Brooke glanced over at Peyton cautiously, reaching over to hold her friends hand. She could tell she was upset. She hadn't said a word since they left the club. She too, had no idea what was going on. She'd never seen Julian act that way, and from the way that Peyton had reacted, neither had she.

"Are you okay?" She whispered, carefully. She didn't want to make it harder for her friend.

Peyton looked over at Brooke, her eyes burning with unshed tears. She shook her head, before taking a deep steady breath.

"This is bad, Brooke. Really bad."

**A/N: That's chapter 2! This chapter was more of a filler chapter to help set up for everything in Chapter 3! I hope you guys liked it though. Again, thanks to everyone who's taken the time to read and review. It means so much to me! Have a great Tuesday!**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N - Thanks so much to everyone who read & reviewed. I love you all! I outlined the rest of the story, and figured out that it's going to be about 15 chapters, give or take a few. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the next chapter. For some reason, every time I upload this chapter, it deletes some words. And it's not even in the same section, it seems to just randomly pick and choose words to delete. Very odd. I think I found & fixed most of them, but if I didn't get them all, just let me know & I'm sorry in advance about any confusion it might cause. Also, I know you guys are all wondering what's going on with Julian. Don't worry, you'll figure it out very soon! And for those of you wondering, Brulian is only a couple of chapters away! =) Please read & review. Thanks =)**

Disclaimer: I do not own OTH, nor am I in any way affiliated with any of the stars from the show :]

**Chapter Three**

October 19,2005

"How is she doing?" Brooke asked early Monday morning. She was sitting at one of the tables right outside of school with Haley, waiting for everyone else to join them.

"I talked to her yesterday afternoon for a few minutes. She said she's ok. But she hasn't spoken to him since Friday. I don't know if she's tried or if he's tried. I didn't ask. And she really wasn't telling. That was the only time I talked to her all weekend." Haley explained, taking a sip of her orange juice.

Brooke nodded. She'd barely heard from Peyton this weekend either, and it was killing her. She wanted to be there for her friend so bad, she hated when any one of her friends were hurting. But she knew how Peyton was, she liked to go through things alone.

"Well I wouldn't blame her for not trying to talk to him. He embarassed her! He embarassed all of us, for that matter. I wouldn't talk to him either if I were her." Brooke shook her head, annoyed. Everytime she thought of what happened on Friday, she got mad all over again.

"But you aren't her, Tigger. And I'm pretty sure that if you got into something like that with Lucas, you'd want to talk to him. Especially after having no contact for an entire weekend." Haley pointed out.

Brooke shrugged. She knew she was right, but she was still angry for her friend. "Maybe. But that doesn't excuse how much of a jerk he was. And Lucas isn't an idiot. Well.. sometimes he is, but that's beside the point. He knows better then that. He wouldn't get drunk at a club that we all go to. Often. At a club that two of our friends mothers own! How stupid can he be?"

"Very."

The girls looked up as Nathan and Lucas walked up to the table and took a seat across from them.

"Lucas. You're going to have to let it go sooner or later."

"Hales, he got drunk at my mom's club. He yelled at Peyton and made an ass out of himself. Why do I have to let it go? He's a jerk. Plain and simple." He shook his head. The only thing Julian had done this weekend was make Lucas hate him even more.

She was about to point out that the grudge Lucas held against Julian had nothing to do with this past weekend, but she decided against it. There was no use making Lucas angry at her. That would only make matters worse.

Nathan sighed. "There's something going on, guys. I tried calling him all weekend. Nothing. He wouldn't answer any of my calls. I think he even turned his phone off yesterday."

They all sat quietly, unsure of what more to say. They were so lost in their own thoughts that none of them heard Peyton approach until she sat next to Brooke.

"Hey guys."

Everyone looked over at her hesitantly, ready for the worst. However, they were pleasantly surprised to see her smiling at them.

"Hey Peyt!" Brooke smiled brightly at her friend, glad to see her in such a good mood. She wasn't sure why Peyton was smiling, but she wasn't about to complain. She'd been worrying all night that Peyton wouldn't show up to school that morning, but she was glad to be proven wrong.

"You guys are here early." She observed, directing the comment toward Nathan and Lucas. She was right. The guys normally got there just two minutes before the first bell rang in the morning.

They both shrugged. Neither one of them wanted to say anything, afraid to ruin Peyton's mood.

Peyton looked around at everyone. She could tell they were trying not to upset her. When she'd woken up this morning she'd decided to go about her day as normally as possible. But now, she realized, it was going to be impossible if everyone wasn't going to act the same. She knew they wanted to know what was going on. She could practically see the questions dancing around in their eyes, but had no answers for them. She also wanted to know what was going on.

All weekend, she'd stayed in her room, listening to music and working on her sketches. Everytime she spoke to someone, she barely stayed on the phone for more then 5 minutes. She made a couple of attempts to speak to Julian but he hadn't returned any of her phone calls. After the third call, she decided that she wasn't going to bother anymore. She wasn't one of those girls that constantly called their boyfriend until they answered. This wasn't her fault, and she refused to believe otherwise. If he wanted to speak to her, he knew how to reach her.

Right before going to sleep the night before she'd decided that she wasn't going to let this get her down anymore. She'd never let a boy get her down in the past and she wasn't planning to start now. Yes, she was angry at him for ignoring her all weekend, but she wasn't going to let that affect the rest of her day. She still had her friends, and her family. She'd deal with Julian later.

Or sooner, she thought to herself. She'd been dreading going to school this morning, knowing that she was inevitably going to see him. She was sure that once she saw him, all the anger she'd been trying to ignore all weekend would undoubtedly come to the surface.

"You guys can stop looking at me like I'm going to break now, I'm fine." She assured them, taking a sip of the coffee she'd stopped to get on her way to school.

Brooke frowned. "We're just worried, Peyt." Everyone at the table nodded in agreement.

Peyton nodded. "I know you are guys, and I appreciate that. But I'm fine. Honest." She offered them a small small. She wasn't sure how reassuring it was, but it was the best she could offer them right now.

"Have you talked to him?" Lucas asked, receiving a glare from Brooke. He shrugged. He knew that everyone at the table had been wanting to ask the same question.

"Nope." She answered, not looking them in the eye this time. If she looked at them, she knew they'd see how annoyed she was about it.

"Did he call?" Brooke asked, carefully. She didn't want to make this any harder for her then it obviously already way.

Peyton shook her head. "Nope."

Haley and Brooke exchanged a worried glance. "Did you try talking to him?"

She nodded. "I did. And it was for nothing. He ignored me all weekend."

"Hey guys."

Everyone looked up as Jake sat next to Lucas on the bench. He could sense the tension as soon as he sat down, but before he could ask what was wrong, he was interrupted.

"Hey Jake!" Peyton greeted, happily. She was thankful for the distraction. She paused as the bell rang loudly, signaling the beginning of the school day. "I've got to get to class. Jake, walk me to class?" She smiled at him, standing up to collect her things.

"Sure." He smiled, standing up with her. He picked her books up off the table as she picked up her bag. He shot Lucas a wary look, receiving a confused shrug in return.

She offered a small smile to everyone at the table before walking away with Jake. "See you guys at lunch." She called behind her.

Brooke was about to get up and walk after them when she felt someone put their hand on her arm. She looked up to see Lucas standing beside her.

"Let her go. She'll be ok. Jake's with her." He kissed her forehead. "Come on, I'll walk you to class." He picked up her books, offering her his free hand.

She sighed, taking his hand before following him into the building. "I'm worried, Lucas. She can't just walk around and pretend like everything is ok. It's not."

"I know, Pretty Girl. But, this is how Peyton handles things. When she's ready to talk, she'll come to you. You know that." He gave her hand a soft squeeze.

Brooke sighed, leaning her head on his shoulder as they walked. "I know, I just can't stand not being able to help her."

Lucas leaned over, kissing her head softly. "Peyton's a soldier. She'll be ok. And you're helping her just by being her friend."

Brooke frowned. "I just wish there was something more that we could do."

Luke nodded. "I know, babe. I know."

~*~

Peyton sighed in relief as the last bell of the day sounded. This had to have been one of the the longest day of her life. And to make it even worse, Julian hadn't been in school all day.

Even though she was still mad at him, she couldn't help being worried when she walked into the lunch room and saw that he wasn't sitting at their normal table. She'd thought, at first, that maybe he just didnt come to sit with her and their friends, but when his lab partner had asked why he'd missed their presentation earlier in the day, she knew he hadn't been in school at all.

Walking out of the building, she decided to walk home today. Her car was in the shop anyway, so she didn't need to worry about that. And the weather was just right. Not too hot, not too cold. She knew something good would come out of having to ride the bus to school that morning. She figured that the walk would help her clear her head. She hadn't been able to concentrate very much in her classes throughout the day, the only thing on her mind was Julian and the next conversation they were inevitably going to have.

As she walked down the familiar roads to her house, she found herself thinking about everything that had been happening the past few weeks. She tried to think about if she might have said or done anything that may have upset him, or caused him to pull away from her. But just like before, she came up with nothing. She wished she could think of something, anything, as to why he might be acting this way, so that she could try to fix it. Maybe then, things would be able to go back to normal.

She hadn't realized where she was going until she looked up and found herself standing infront of the Rivercourt. She wasn't surprised that she was here. This was where her and her friends had some of their best times. It was one of the only places that she could go to and always find happiness. It held a lot of her favorite memories.

She walked over and sat down on top of one of the tables next to the court, facing away from the river behind her. Looking out onto the basketball court, she swore she could see all her friends running around, throwing the basketball back and forth and through the hoop. She saw everyone laughing and joking. She saw everyone happy.

Right now, it seemed like happiness was so far away. She knew she was being silly, but at that moment, she felt like she was never going to be happy again. She'd always hated when girls based their lives around guys and how they felt about them. She could never understand why some girls acted like their world was over when they either got into an argument or broke up with them. But right now, she found herself understanding them a little more. She knew that there was a good chance she was being overdramatic about all of this, but at the same time, she didn't think so. She knew there was much more to this then what Julian was letting on. She just didn't know what. Even when he was angry with her in the past, he'd never ignored her. There had been times when Peyton thought they wouldn't get past some of the arguments they'd had, but he'd always call or come talk to her about everything, and they would normally make up pretty quickly. This obviously wasn't one of those times.

She sighed, running her hands over her face, tiredly. She hadn't gotten much sleep over the weekend. Every time she'd closed her eyes, all she saw was him. The way he acted at the club, the way he'd acted while he was drunk. She couldn't get it out of her head. She'd never seen him take a sip of alcohol in the past few years they she'd known him. Now, she felt guilty for not seeing that something was wrong sooner.

She sat there until the sun began to set, just trying to clear her mind. She would have sat there longer, but she was starting to get cold, and she didn't want to have to walk home alone in the dark.

Reluctantly, she started walking toward her house. She groaned, realizing that when she got home she'd have to deal with her father's questions again. All weekend, he'd been trying to find out what was going on. Why her friends weren't at the house, why he hadn't seen Julian. For some reason, she just couldn't pretend like everything was okay to him. She'd simply told him that she just couldn't deal with it, and left it at that. She'd stayed in her room for almost the entire weekend after that. Thankfully, he'd left her alone, only bothering her to let her know dinner was ready.

As she rounded the corner of her street, she sighed in relief when she realized her fathers car wasn't in the driveway. She really didn't feel like playing 20 questions tonight. She didn't really feel like doing anything for that matter.

She walked up the steps of her porch to her front door, pulling her keys out of her purse. She couldn't wait to get inside, take a hot shower and just crawl into bed. Right as she was about to turn the key and open the door, a movement behind her made her turn in surprise.

She stared at him for a long moment, unable to form any sort of greeting. She wasn't surprised that he was standing in front of her, she was just surprised at how long it took him to come. And now that she knew he was ok, the desire to slap him in the face only got stronger. But she held back.

"What are you doing here, Julian?" She finally asked. It was obvious if she didn't say anything, he was just going to stand there and stare at her.

"We need to talk." His voice was barely above a whisper.

She wanted to laugh at him. Now he wanted to talk? After three days of silence, he wanted to talk? But she stayed quiet. Something about the look on his face, or maybe it was the way he spoke, told her not to say anything.

"Ok.." She followed him to the porch swing, slowly taking a seat beside him. She waited, suddenly afraid of whatever he was about to say.

"So, look. I'm not really good with words. You know that. I know that.. I just really wanted to tell you that I'm sorry about Friday." He mumbled, looking down.

She watched him carefully, she could tell that he wasn't finished.

"Ok.."

"I just.. I've been going through some stuff lately. And I know that it's not fair to take that out on you. On any of you. But I can't seem to control it."

"What's going on? You can tell me, you know." She urged. She wished he would just talk to her, tell her what was going on with him.

He sighed, taking her hands in his. "There's stuff going on right now. Stuff you wouldn't understand."

She was about to object, but he cut her off. "Not that you wouldn't understand. You just couldn't." He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "Or maybe it's me that can't understand, but... I just.." He waited. "I don't think this is what's best for us right now." He finally said, looking away from her.

She sat there, staring at him. What did that mean?

"If what isn't what's best for us?" She hated the way her voice sounded right now. So weak - so fragile. But she couldn't help it. She had an overwhelming feeling of dread engulfing her and she wasn't sure how to escape it.

He took another deep breath before standing up and taking a few steps away from her.

He kept his back to her, looking at, what she assumed, was the houses across the street.

Finally, after what seemed like hours to Peyton, he turned toward her. The look in his eyes made her stomach fall all the way to her feet. "I don't think this relationship is what's best for us right now."

She stared at him for a second before looking away from him. She could feel her heart start to hammer in her chest as she digested his words.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there not saying anything, it was like her brain was unable to fomn any type of response. She didn't know what to do. Should she laugh? Should she cry? She didn't know what to do with herself.

She looked down at her hands before finally speaking. "You.. don't think this relationship is what's best for us? Or for you?"

He paused. "Both."

"Don't be ridiculous," She wanted to sound angry, but instead sounded like she was begging.

When he said nothing, she closed her eyes tightly, willing the tears away. This couldn't be happening.

"Don't," Her voice was just above a whisper now, realization was beginning to seep through her. "Don't do this."

He took a deep breath and stared at the ground for a long moment. When he finally look up his eyes were different. She couldn't read them.

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry, Julian? Really? You're sorry? Well I guess that makes everything all better, doesn't it?" She didn't understand any of this. One minute they were happy and in love and the next he's barely talking to her and breaking up with her.

He remained silent. He knew he should offer her something more, but he couldn't. He knew that if they stayed together, he'd bring her down with him. And he didn't want that for her. She deserved better than that. She deserved better than him.

"So this is it?" She stood up, ready to walk away from him. She couldn't handle this right now.

"I never wanted to hurt you, Peyton." He felt like such a jerk. He knew this was going to be difficult, but he had no choice. There was no other way.

"Well it's a little too late for that, isn't it?" She muttered, angrily. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. "Is there someone else?"

"What? No!"

"Well then what is it, Julian? If there isn't someone else then what? What happened? What happened in the past 3 weeks that all of a sudden this is what's best for us? Why is breaking up the best thing for us?" She felt her resolve slipping, and the sadness sink in. But she stayed strong. She had to. She couldn't break down infront of him. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He didn't know what to say. He knew she deserved a reason. She deserved so much more than this, and he hated himself for not giving that to her.

She stared at him, growing more angry by the second. His silence was unnerving. How could he do this to her? Hadn't he put her through enough over the past few weeks?

"Go." She said it so quietly she wasn't sure he heard her. She couldn't stand here and pretend like everything was ok. She didn't know how long she had before she completely broke down, all she knew was that it was becoming almost impossible to stay strong.

He looked up at her, his eyes filled with sorrow. He wanted nothing more then to take her into his arms and apologize for every thing he'd put her through over the past month, but he knew he couldn't do that. It wouldn't help anything. No matter how much this hurt, he knew this was the best thing for them. For her.

"Go!" She repeated with more force, looking away from him. She couldn't look at him. She didn't want to look at him. She just wanted to crawl up in her bed and forget that he ever existed.

"I'm sorry." He whispered once more before walking toward the driveway.

She turned to watch him go, desperately wanting to call him back, but knowing that she couldn't. Instead, she stood there, frozen on the top of the stairs, watching him walk away from her. From their relationship. When she couldn't see him any longer she finally allowed herself to break down. She pulled her cell phone out of her purse, taking deep shaky breaths as she dialed the familiar number. She could barely see the screen as she pressed send, her eyes blurry with tears.

The phone rang twice before the familiar cheery voice answered.

"Hey Peyt!" The voice greeted her happily, making Peyton cry even harder.

"Peyton?" Brooke's voice was panicked now as she listened to her friend cry into the phone. "Peyton, hunny, what's wrong?"

"Br-ooke." She sobbed into the phone. She tried to calm herself down, tried to tell Brooke that she needed her, but she couldn't form the words. She could barely breath.

"Peyton. Where are you? Are you home?" Brooke asked, frantically.

"Y-Ye-yes."

"Don't move. I'll be right there."

Peyton sank down on her porch steps, hugging her legs tightly to her chest. The pain was becoming unbearable.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed before she felt someone take her into their arms. She didn't even bother looking up to make sure it was Brooke. She didn't really care at this point. She just wanted the pain to go away.

"Shh. It's ok. Just let it all out." She heard Brooke whispering into her ear, hugging her tightly.

"How did this happen, Brooke?" She mumbled through her tears. She sat up to look at her friend, wishing she had the answers. But she knew that she didn't. No one did. She wasn't even sure if Julian did.

Thinking about him brought on another round of hysterics, causing Brooke to hold onto her tighter. But it passed quickly, much to Brooke's relief. Her tears didn't slow, and at this point, she wasn't sure they ever would.

Brooke felt her heart breaking as she reached out and tried to wipe away her remaining tears. "I don't know, sweetie. I don't know." She hugged her again.

"I want to be mad at him. I want to hate him. But I can't. I just want this to go away. I want everything to just go away and I want everything to be normal again. I want us to be us again." She closed her eyes tightly. She wished she could turn her brain off. She didn't want to think about this anymore.

Brooke frowned. She knew there was nothing that she could say to make her feel better, but wishing all the same that something would come to her.

"Come on, it's getting cold out here. Let's get you inside."

Peyton nodded, but said nothing. She stood up, with Brooke's help, and followed her inside.

As they were about to climb the stairs and go up to her room, she stopped. She realized that going into her room right now was not a good idea. Everything in there reminded her of him.

Brooke seemed to realize this as well, because she started walking with her toward the living room.

She collapsed onto the couch, thinking about how she'd have to get rid of everything later. She couldn't avoid her room forever. She felt her heart break a little more at the thought.

Brooke wrapped her arms around her once more as she began to break down again.

"It's ok, Peyton. It's going to be ok."

~*~

It was dark when Peyton opened her eyes. She looked around and noticed she wasn't in her living room anymore. She realized that she must have cried herself to sleep, and someone must have carried her upstairs.

The last thing she remembered was Brooke coming over and telling her everything was going to be ok. She wasn't sure how everything was going to be ok, but decided that she'd believe her for now. At this point, she wasn't sure that it could get any further from ok. She wished that made her feel better, but it brought very little comfort.

She wondered for a moment when she'd fallen asleep and who brought her upstairs, but decided that it didn't matter. She laid there for a few more seconds before glancing over toward her alarm clock. 10:05. That's it?

She reluctantly got out of her bed, making her way out of her room toward the bathroom. Once inside, she looked into the mirror, flinching slightly at the reflection staring back at her. Her hair was a mess, her eyes were puffy and bloodshot. She looked like she felt. Horrible. She took her time taking a shower, letting the hot water burn her skin. It felt like she was trying to burn the pain away.

Once she was done, she walked into the hallway, ready to just go back to bed and forget this day ever happened, but voices from downstairs made her pause.

Curiously, she slowly made her way down the stairs, expecting to see her dad sitting on the couch watching television but was surprised to see Brooke, Lucas, Nathan, Haley and Jake sitting there. They seemed to be deep in conversation, none of them hearing her approach. It was another moment before Lucas looked up, noticing her standing in the doorway.

"Hey sleepyhead!" He greeted, causing everyone to look over at her.

She smiled weakly at everyone, making her way toward the couch before sitting down inbetween Brooke and Haley. She laid her head on Brooke's shoulder, silently thanking her for being there.

Haley and Brooke both took each of her hand in one of theirs. They knew she needed their support and they would give it to her. For as long as she needed.

"Okay!" Nathan clapped his hands together, getting everyone's attention. "We've got Monopoly, we've got Clue. We've got a bunch of chick flicks," He paused, making a face. Everyone laughed. "We've got my 2 good buddies Ben & Jerry, we've got 2 large pepperoni pizzas and we've got Twister." He smiled widely at her, motioning toward everything infront of them.

"What'll it be?" Jake asked eagerly.

She looked around at all her friends, feeling her eyes water all over again. This time it wasn't because she was sad. She was so grateful for all of them. She didn't know what she'd do without her friends, each and every one of them.

A couple of hours ago, she'd felt as if the world was crashing down around her. She felt like she'd never be able to smile or to be happy again. But now, looking around at all the people she loved, she knew that it would be ok. She wasn't naive enought to believe that everything would be ok right away, but in time, she knew, that things would get better. She just wished it was sooner, rather then later.

"You know, I am the master at Clue." She finally said, causing everyone to laugh. Probably in relief, she noted.

"Thanks, you guys." She smiled at all of them. She really did have the best friends ever.

Brooke put a reassuring arm around her shoulders, giving her a small squeeze. She smiled at her in return. She knew that was her way of telling her that they were all going to be there for her, no matter what.

"I call Miss Scarlet!"

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**Please review & let me know what you thought! Thanks :)**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N - Hey guys. Hope everyone's doing good. I'm beginning to get a little worried that no ones really liking this story so far :( I'm not getting very many reviews or anything. Is anyone out there? Lol! I'm debating on cutting it short, it seems like not many people are finding any interest in this. *cries* Lol. I can't wait to see next Monday's episode and hopefully lots of Brulian! =) Speaking of, here's the next chapter! I'm very proud of it, actually. It's my longest chapter yet! Yay! haha. Also, you guys will finally get a look into what has been going on with Julian, and why he's been acting like he has. And plenty of Brulian! Yay! Please read & review! Let me know what you think! Enjoy. :)**

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Disclaimer: I do not own OTH! Though I wouldn't mind owning James Lafferty =)

Chapter 4

November 15, 2005

"Hello, Brooke. How are you sweetheart?"

It was Saturday morning, and Brooke had just walked into Karen's Cafe. She knew it was pretty early, but for some reason she hadn't been able to sleep very well this morning. So instead of laying in bed all day, she'd decided to get up and start her day earlier then usual.

She'd meandered around her kitchen for a few minutes, unable to find something edible for breakfast before deciding to go visit Karen. It had been too long since she'd seen her.

"Hey Karen. How are you?" Brooke smiled, taking a seat on one of the stools. Karen was behind the counter, wiping down the coffee pot.

"I'm wonderful. How are you, dear? It's a little early for you, isn't it?" Karen questioned, a teasing smile on her face. She placed the rag down before turning to give her full attention to the girl in front of her.

Brooke shrugged. "It is. I haven't been able to sleep for some reason lately."

Karen gave her a concerned look. "Is everything alright?"

Brooke nodded, smiling. She always loved Karen. She was like a mother to her, when her own was not around. Which was quite often. She always considered Lucas so lucky to have such an amazing mom. She'd also felt very fortunate to have Karen in her life.

"Everything's fine." She assured her. And everything was. It had been 3 weeks since everything had happened with Peyton and Julian, and Brooke was happy to say that her friend was doing much better. Sure, Peyton had her off days sometimes, but overall she'd come a long way. "I don't know what it is that's making it so hard to sleep. I never used to have that problem." She laughed.

"How's Peyton doing?" Karen asked. Lucas had given her a brief rundown of what had been going on lately. She'd felt horrible when he'd told her that Julian and Peyton broke up. Every time she'd met him, she'd always thought Julian was a nice boy. It was such a shame for Peyton to be going through such a tough time.

"Better. Much better. It's only hard for her when we're at school, really. But there's nothing anyone can do about it. Luckily, the only time they really see each other is at lunch, but he doesn't normally sit near us anymore. As a matter of fact, he doesn't really try to come near any of us at all anymore." Brooke responded, shrugging her shoulders.

At first, Julian had tried talking to Nathan a few times, but after about a week, he'd stopped completely. She knew that it bothered Nathan, he was the only one besides Peyton who had a close relationship with him. Everyone else was friends with him, sure, but it was different with the two of them. They'd been best friends. But she knew that Nathan would do good by Peyton.

They'd all just assumed that he stopped talking to everyone so he wouldn't have to make anyone choose between him or Peyton.

"I'm glad she's doing better. But I'm sorry to hear that no one speaks to him anymore. That has to be hard to loose all your friends like that." She shook her head, sighing.

Brooke shrugged. She didn't care either way. As far as she was concerned, he could stay far far away from her. All she'd wanted to do was kill him after everything he'd put Peyton through. She'd never see her friend cry so much in her whole life. And for that, she hated him.

She'd also believed that Julian was seeing someone else, despite Peyton telling her otherwise. It was one thing for Peyton to believe it, but she didn't. Not for a second. How else would he be able to just break up with Peyton so easily. There had to be someone else. She saw no other way.

"I don't mind, honestly. I know it's mean to say that, but I mean it. I really just wanna punch him in the face every time I see him. So I guess it's smart that he doesn't come around." She smiled as Karen laughed.

"Oh Brooke, you have to start coming around the house more often. Keith and I miss having you there."

Brooke frowned for a moment before she sent her a small smile. She knew that she hadn't been by Lucas' house in a while, and she felt horrible for it. She'd been spending so much time with Peyton, trying to distract her and make sure she was ok that she'd barely spent any time with Lucas, at all.

"I know. I'm sorry. I'll come by and visit soon, I promise."

Karen smiled. "Is there something I can get for you? How about your favorite chocolate chip pancakes?" She offered.

The bell above the door rang, causing both Brooke and Karen to look over. Brooke felt every muscle in her body stiffen at the sight of him.

She stared at him for a moment before looking away. She felt like there was literally a fire inside of her.

Karen cleared her throat, trying to get Brooke's attention. She could practically see the steam coming from her ears.

"You know what, Karen.. I think I just lost my appetite. I'll see you." She forced a smiled on her face before walking past him and out the door.

~*~

"Someone really needs to go grocery shopping." Julian muttered to himself before slamming his refrigerator shut.

He'd been up for about an hour and still hadn't found anything for breakfast. Every ten to fifteen minutes he'd walk into his kitchen and look around, hoping that something would jump out at him. Each time he'd been unsuccessful.

Shaking his head, he made his way upstairs to his bedroom. It was obvious he wasn't going to find anything in his house, so instead of waiting around and only making himself hungrier, he decided to go out and grab something.

He looked around his room for his basketball shorts before spotting them next to his closet. As he bent over to pick them up, he noticed something sticking out from under his dresser.

After pulling his shorts on, he bent over to pick it up and sighed once he saw what it was.

It was a picture of everyone about a month back, outside by Brooke's pool. That day had been so funny.

He remembered sitting at Nathan's house with Lucas and Jake all afternoon before finally deciding to go surprise the girls at Brooke's house.

Seeing their faces as they ran up with the water balloons had been priceless. He laughed a little, remembering how much fun they'd had.

That had been a good day.

He frowned, placing the picture in the top drawer of his dresser. It was weird to think that it had only been about a month since then. It felt like it had been a year.

_You really screwed things up since then, Julian. _He thought bitterly.

He shook his head, walking down the stairs.

"Julian? Where are you going so early?" His grandmother appeared at the top of the stairs. He could tell by her robe that she'd just woken up.

"I'm gonna go over to Karen's and grab some breakfast. Do you want anything while I'm out?" He asked, slipping his jacket on and grabbing his keys off of the table.

"No, baby. But thank you. You be careful, ok?" She gave him a concerned look.

He nodded, pretending not to notice the look she was giving him. "See you later."

On the way to the cafe he started thinking about everything going on in the past month. He'd gone from having everything to having nothing at all. He knew that he hadn't asked for any of this to happen, but it had anyway.

He also knew that he couldn't keep blaming himself for everything, though he wanted to. He knew that when he broke up with Peyton, he didn't do it to hurt her. He did it because he didn't want to hurt her anymore. And he knew that if they stayed together, thats all he would have been doing.

It wasn't like he thought she couldn't understand, it was more that he himself was having trouble understanding. He couldn't understand how everything had done a complete 180 so quickly. It felt like everything had changed in a blink of an eye.

He got out of the car and made his way toward the entrance of the cafe, already thinking about what he wanted to order. He couldn't wait to get some of Karen's buttermilk pancakes. His stomach growled just at the thought.

He heard the bell jingle above him as he opened the door and he looked around to say hello to Karen. He spotted her behind the counter, and froze when he saw who she was talking to.

She stared at him, and he was pretty sure he could see the fire in her eyes, even from across the restaurant.

He watched her as she picked up her purse and stood up from the stool she was sitting on. He heard her say something to Karen before she quickly walked past him and out the door.

He couldn't say that he was surprised that she'd left as soon as she saw him. It wasn't a secret that she was furious at him, not that he didn't blame her. If he was in her position, he knew that he would have hated him as well. It hurt all the same, though.

He stood there for a second, not knowing what he should do. Should he just ignore it and get something to eat? Just keep on with ignoring everyone, and allowing them to ignore him? Or should he follow her and try to talk to her?

"Good morning, Julian." Karen called out to him after a couple of seconds, interrupting his thoughts. "Can I get you anything?" She asked, politely.

He stood there, staring at the door that Brooke had just stormed out of.

It had been almost 3 weeks since he'd seen any of his friends. He knew that he probably couldn't even refer to them as friends anymore. The thought made his stomach turn.

"Uh.. No thank you." He replied, smiling at her before running out of the cafe after Brooke.

"Brooke! Wait." He caught up to her, reaching out and grabbing her arm.

He watched as she turned around, violently pulling her arm away from him.

"Don't you dare touch me." She spat. He could see in her eyes how angry she was.

He winced. He knew he deserved her anger. He'd seen how hurt Peyton was. He'd known what he'd done. And he hated himself for it everyday.

"Look I'm s-" He started, but she cut him off.

"If you're about to say you're sorry, Julian.. You can save it. I don't care what you have to say." She went to turn around again, ready to walk away but he stopped her again.

"Brooke, if you'd just let me talk-"

"Talk?!" She exclaimed, cutting him off once again. "You wanna talk, Julian? Maybe you should have thought of that before you walked away from everyone. Before you broke her heart." She turned to walk away, and this time he didn't stop her.

She took a few steps before turning around, her eyes blazing in anger. "You know, Julian. If you wanna talk, maybe you should go talk to whatever whore you're banging. She might wanna listen."

And with that, she turned on her heels and walked away from him.

He stood there, watching her go. He shook his head. He'd told Peyton that there was no one else. _I guess Brooke didn't believe that._

~*~

"You know what, Karen. I think I just lost my appetite. I'll see you." She forced a smile on her face before walking past him and out the door.

She didn't make it to the corner before she heard her name being called and the footsteps of someone approaching her.

"Brooke! Wait." She felt him grab her elbow, causing her to spin around and pull her arm away from him.

Him touching her just seemed to fuel her fire even worse. She couldn't believe the nerve of him. After everything he'd done, he thought that she actually wanted to talk to him? Had the past 3 weeks of silence not gotten through to him? Or did she need to spell it out?

"Don't you dare touch me." She warned, coldly.

She saw him flinch away from her, obviously hurt by how icy she was being with him, but she didn't let it bother her. She really didn't care about what hurt him at this point. He didn't seem to care how much he'd hurt Peyton, so as far as she was concerned, he deserved it.

"Look I'm s-"

"If you're about to say you're sorry, Julian.. You can save it. I don't care what you have to say." Sorry? He was _sorry?! _She'd had enough. She turned to walk away from him but he stopped her again.

"Brooke, if you'd just let me talk-"

"Talk?!" She nearly shouted at him, cutting him off. "You wanna talk, Julian? Maybe you should have thought of that before you walked away from everyone. Before you broke her heart." She turned around, beginning to walk away.

She was done with this conversation. As far as she was concerned, it shouldn't have even started. She really had nothing to say to him. Well, she could think of a few things to say to him, but she didn't feel like wasting her breath any longer.

She took a few steps before she paused. She knew exactly what she wanted to say to him. Exactly what she'd been holding in since Peyton came to her a couple of weeks before.

"You know, Julian. If you wanna talk, maybe you should go talk to whatever whore you're banging. She might wanna listen."

She turned away at that, smiling to herself before making her way toward her car.

She knew that Peyton had told her that she didn't believe there was someone else, but Brooke didn't buy it. That had to be the reason. How else would he have been able to just up and drop everyone? Out of no where?

She felt her nerves calming as she drove toward her house. She wasn't going to let Julian Baker ruin the rest of her day. He certainly wasn't worth that. He wasn't even worth the few words that she'd spoken to him.

She contemplated for a second, wondering if she should tell Peyton about seeing him. On one hand, she knew that if she were her, she would want to know. But at the same time, Peyton was just starting to move on, and let go. She was just starting to be her old self again. She was afraid that if she told Peyton, she'd be right back where she started, and Brooke really didn't want that.

She decided that she'd leave it alone. There was no sense bringing anything up. If Peyton were to ask her, she wouldn't lie. But, she also wasn't going to bring it up herself.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the vibrations coming from her purse next to her. She reached inside, pulling her cell phone out of the pocket. She smiled when she saw who it was.

"Hey Broody!" She answered, happily. All thoughts of Julian had been erased for the moment.

"Hey Pretty Girl. Good morning."

She smiled, turning her car onto her street. "Good morning! I just saw your mom."

"Oh ya? You went into the cafe already? Isn't it kind of early for you?" He asked, chuckling.

She rolled her eyes, though she knew he couldn't see her. "Ya, ya. I know. I'm not a morning person, but I couldn't sleep. And it's almost 11 o'clock, thank you. Besides it's been a long time since I've seen her. I missed her."

"She missed you, too. I'm glad you went up there." She could hear that he was smiling in his voice.

"Am I still going to see you tonight?" She asked. They'd made a date for later that night. She felt bad that they hadn't been spending very much time together lately so she'd suggested he come over and they would watch movies and order pizza.

"Actually, that's why I'm calling.."

She frowned. That didn't sound good. "Broody. Don't tell me you're canceling on me." She unlocked her door, shutting and locking it after she stepped inside.

He sighed. "I'm sorry, babe. But Keith needs help at the shop. One of the mechanics is out sick, and he's swamped. He said I'll probably be there til late. But I promise I'll make it up to you."

She sighed, making her way into her bedroom. She had been looking forward to spending the night with him since they'd decided on the plans the day before. But she knew that he had no choice. If Keith had asked Lucas for his help, she knew he had to be desperate. He must be pretty backed up.

"Ok. But I'm gonna hold you to that." She teased, laying down on her bed. She could feel herself getting tired again. She wasn't even hungry anymore. The only thing she really wanted to do at the moment was take a nap. A nice long nap.

She heard him laugh softly. "I promise. I'll call you later ok, babe? I love you."

She smiled. "Love you, too. Bye." She hung up the phone, placing it next to her on her night stand. She could already feel her eyelids becoming heavy.

She laid her head back, closing her eyes. She thought about all the stuff she wanted to get done today. She didn't get past the second thing before she was fast asleep.

~*~

She woke up a few hours later to someone knocking on her door. She laid there for a moment, hoping someone else was home and would answer the door, but when the knocking continued she realized she wasn't going to be so lucky.

Groaning, she threw her comforter off of her body before making her way down stairs.

She glanced out the window and was startled to see that the sun was already beginning to set. _How long did I sleep?_

She was pulled out of her thoughts by another knock on the door, causing her to descend the stairs a little quicker. Who was at the door? "I'm coming!"

It couldn't be Lucas. She vaguely remembered him calling her this morning to cancel their date to help Keith at the garage. _Maybe he's off sooner then he thought, _she thought, getting excited.

She swung the door open, ready to see Lucas standing there, with a couple of pizzas and a few movies from the Blockbuster down the street but was shocked to realize it wasn't him.

She stared at Julian for a long moment, wondering if she was still sleeping. She had to still be dreaming. There was no way that he was stupid enough to show up on her door step after everything she'd said to him.

"What are you doing here?" She asked once she saw who it was. He had some nerve showing up at her house.

"Can we talk?" Hearing his voice, she realized that she was, in fact, awake. And he was really standing on her porch, asking her to talk to him._ Is he crazy?_

"No." She went to shut the door, but he put his hand out to stop it.

"Please, Brooke." She could see the dark circles under his eyes, and she wondered if they were there that morning. She must not have looked at him that closely. Now that she did look at him, she could see how terrible he looked. His eyes looked like they were completely devoid of any emotion, and he looked like he hadn't slept in weeks.

She sighed. "5 minutes." She opened her door to allow him entrance, and after shutting and locking it, she followed him upstairs to her bedroom.

Once they were in her room, he took a seat on her bed, motioning for her to sit next to him.

She shook her head. "I'll stand. What do you want to talk about, Julian?" She wanted to get this over with as quick as possible.

"I never cheated on Peyton, Brooke." When he looked up at her this time, it startled her. He looked so sad. She felt bad for a moment, she didn't like being mean to anyone. And the look he was giving her was making her feel even worse.

She shook her head, realizing that she couldn't pick right now to feel bad for him. Not after everything. Not after everything he'd done. "So what the hell is going on then? You break up with her, out of the blue. You've been blowing everyone off for weeks. If you're not with another girl, then what is it?"

He stared at her for another moment. He could tell by the way she was yelling at him, just how angry she was. It wasn't like he was surprised anyway. He knew she was right, he'd been very unfair to Peyton and his friends, but he didn't know what else to do. He was hurting her by staying with her, and he was hurting her by breaking up with her. Either way, it was a lose lose situation.

"When I was little, my mom left me and my dad. Did you know that?"

She stared at him, his question catching her off guard.

She slowly sat down next to him. "Uh.. No." Where had that come from?

He took a deep breath. If he was going to tell her, he might as well tell her the truth. He hadn't lied to anyone thus far, and he didn't want to start now.

"Ya well, she was an alcoholic. I remember her always having a drink in her hand. I used to wonder sometimes if the glass was permanently stuck to her hand." He laughed once.

She could tell that he didn't find it at all funny. She thought back to the night that everyone had gone to Tric and how drunk Julian had gotten. She wondered if that had anything to do with what he was about to say to her.

"I was 7 when she left. And I still remember it like it was yesterday. It was late and I heard them arguing in the living room. I was sitting on the top of the stairs and I heard her tell my dad that she couldn't take it living there anymore and that she was doing us both a favor by leaving." He said bitterly, shaking his head. He didn't know why he was telling her this, but he needed to talk to someone. For some reason, he wanted it to be her. "She didn't even say goodbye. I sat there, and she left. She just walked out the door. She didn't even look back. Not once." His voice was strained, and she could tell it pained him to talk about it.

"My dad. He barely talked to anyone for an entire week. I thought he was angry at me. Everytime I said something to him, I got yelled at or was told to go to my room. I think I spent that whole week in my room. It seemed like that was the only way I wasn't pissing him off. But even then, I think I knew it wasn't my fault. It was hers. We didn't hear from her for years." He took a deep, shaky breath. "Things got better, a lot after a while it was like she had never been there. He never talked about her, and I never asked. I was too young to understand what was going on, but I knew that bringing her name up was going to hurt my dad. And I didn't want to do that to him. He'd been through enough. My dad was my best friend. We did everything together. He took me to the park, he bought me everything I wanted. We used to go to this Pizza place that we both liked and afterward we'd go to the arcade right next door. We did that every Friday night.

"When I was 12, my grandma picked me up early from school and took me straight to the hospital. She told me that my dad was very sick, that he'd had a heart attack and that I needed to go see him. When I got there, he was hooked up to all these tubes, it didn't even look like him."

He looked down. Just thinking about this made his whole body ache. Talking about it out loud, brought on a pain he wasn't familiar with.

"He told me that I wouldn't be seeing him for a while, and that I should listen to whatever my grandma and grandpa told me. He told me that I was the best thing that ever happened to him and that he was sorry that he was leaving me."

She watched as he looked up at the ceiling for a moment before he looked at her. She felt her heart clench when she looked into his eyes. His eyes were glassy, and she wondered how long he'd really been holding this inside. It was then she realized that she too, was crying. But she made no move to wipe away her tears. She was careful to stay still, afraid to move even an inch.

"He told me that I could be whatever I wanted to be, and to never settle for less then the best. 'Can't means wont' He'd always told me. He told me that he loved me and he'd always be with me and that I should never forget that," He closed his eyes tightly, causing a few tears to escape from the corner of his eyes. "He died that night."

She wanted to reach out to him. To comfort him. But she stopped herself. She could tell that he needed to get this out.

"My grandma told me that my mom had called a couple of weeks before my dad had the heart attack, but he'd told her that we were fine without her. He'd told he wasn't going to let her back into my life if she was just going to leave again, and to just leave us alone. She didn't call again after that.

"She told me that she called again 2 months ago. Said she'd been sober for 2 years now, and she was back in school. She wanted to see me, but my grandma told her that she'd talk to me and have me call her, if I wanted to see her. The hospital called 3 weeks later.. She was brought in early that morning after being hit by a drunk driver. She was at a red light and when the light turned green, someone ran a light and slammed right into her. It was a hit and run. I went straight to the hospital.

"When I got there, the doctors told me that she had a couple of broken ribs, a broken leg and wrist. He said that she'd hit her head pretty bad and had a gash right above her left temple. He said that she was unconscious when the paramedics got there, and she's been in a coma ever since. He said that comas normally last 4 weeks before going into a vegetative state. It's been exactly 4 weeks and 5 days." He finished, taking another deep breath. It felt good finally getting all of that off his chest after holding it in for so long, but he was still having trouble keeping in the tears that were seconds from falling.

He was just about to look up and apologize for making her listen to the whole story when he felt her scoot closer to him and take him into her arms.

He was surprised at first, but found himself wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her even closer to him. He buried his face into her neck, finally allowing himself to let it all out.

"I'm so sorry, Julian." She whispered. She could still feel the silent tears falling down her cheeks, but she didn't care.

She gently rubbed his back, whispering comforting words in his ear as she felt him breaking down in her arms.

"I don't know what to do, Brooke." He cried as sobs began to rack his entire body. He'd been holding this in for so long, it was like he didn't have the strength to control it any longer.

She felt herself crying with him as she hugged him tighter. She gently rubbed the back of his neck, "Shh. I know. I know." She whispered into his ear.

They sat there for what felt like hours, her holding him as he finally let out everything that he'd been holding in for so long. She wasn't sure why he'd chosen her to open up to, but she found herself glad that he did. She had no idea that he'd had this all bottled up inside for so long, and was surprised that she was angry at herself for not seeing something was wrong sooner. She'd just been so angry at him, that she didn't allow herself to see that he was hurting too. She didn't allow herself to see anything, now that she thought about.

She felt bad that Nathan had also pushed him away. She knew it wasn't her fault, but she just couldn't help but feel like it was. She felt like such a horrible friend for letting him go through this alone.

After a while, they laid down on her bed. He hugged her tightly around her waist, laying her head gently on her stomach. He felt her running her fingers through his hair as his eyes began to get heavy.

She let him stay with her that night, unable to let him go home and go through this alone any longer. She laid with him, gently stroking his hair back as he finally started to calm down, his breathing returning to a slow steady pace.

It had been a while since he'd said anything, and she figured he'd fallen asleep. She laid there for a while, staring up at the ceiling, wondering what she was going to do about all of this. She knew she couldn't tell anyone, she wouldn't do that to him. But she also knew that she wasn't going to just abandon him. She knew he needed her, and she was going to be there for him. No matter what it took.

She sighed softly, realizing it was going to be very difficult hiding this from her friends and from Lucas, but she saw no other way. He'd trusted her enough to confide in her all the things that he'd been holding in, she couldn't just walk away from that.

It was right before she felt herself drifting off to sleep that he spoke again. His voice was barely above a whisper and she couldn't tell if she was dreaming it or not.

"Thank you, Brooke."

She tightened her arms around him in response before finally drifting off to sleep.

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**Please review! They really keep me motivated! =)**


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N : Hey guys! I just want to thank you all soo much for reading and reviewing the last chapter. I really really appreciate it! I'm glad that everyone liked the last chapter. I loved writing it. I'm sorry for the lack of Brulian in the first couple of chapters, but I promise there will be plenty from here on out. Also, just to let everyone know, I will be continuing to write the story how I originally planned. Thank you so much for everyone who took the time to give me their opinions, I definately took them into account. I truly appreciate it. I hope that you are not disappointed with the remainder of the story and will continue to read and review. I can't wait til Monday! It's been a long 2 weeks! LOL I'm so excited for it. Hopefully lots and lots of Brulian. =) Anyway, here's the next chapter. I really hope you guys like it. There's lots of drama. =)

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Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill. Mark Schwahn does! Lucky him :) LOL

**Chapter 5**

November 21, 2005

"Morning, sleepy head!" Brooke sang, walking into her bedroom. She sat down on her bed next to Julian. She could tell he was awake. "Rise and shine."

Julian rolled over as he felt the bed move. He opened one eye to peak up at her, and smiled when he saw she was holding a plate in her hand.

"What's that?" He asked, moving over so she could sit next to him. He pulled himself up so he was sitting with his back on the wall.

"Breakfast." She smiled, handing him the plate.

He glanced down as he took the plate in his hand. He laughed. There was a tall stack of pancakes with strawberries and bananas on top. She'd decorated it to look like a smiley face.

"Did you make these?" He asked, smiling up at her. In the past week that he'd been staying with her, he hadn't seen her cook once.

"I made the smiley faces." She shrugged, laughing with him.

"Karen's?" He guessed, picking up the fork to take a big bite. As soon as he tasted them, he knew exactly where she got them from.

She nodded, "Are they good?" She'd gone down to the cafe as soon as she'd woken up that morning. She knew he normally slept later on the weekends, so she had time. She sat with Karen for about an hour before she brought his breakfast home. Thankfully, Karen didn't ask her who the food was for. She hadn't thought about how it would look to Karen, her eating breakfast at the cafe and then taking breakfast home with her until she'd already put the order in. She figured she didn't even realize.

He nodded, breaking a small piece with his fork and offering it to her.

She smiled, leaning over and allowing her to feed it to her. "Yum."

"My favorite." He smiled widely, his mouth full of pancakes.

"I know."

He looked at her, curiously. He didn't remember ever telling her about that.

"How do you know?"

She shrugged. "I just remember that's what you always get whenever we went out to breakfast." She explained.

He looked at her for a couple of seconds. He couldn't remember the last time that they all went out like that.

"Aww." He finally said, bumping her shoulder with his own. "You pay attention. That's so sweet."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She turned her face away from him, feeling her cheeks start to heat up.

He smiled at her again before taking another large bite.

"What are we doing today?" She asked, getting up to walk over to her closet. She tried distracting herself so she didn't have to turn to look at him. If he saw her blushing, he'd no doubt have a field day making fun of her.

He shrugged. "I don't know. But you know, you don't have to babysit me. I'm a big boy."

"Really? I hadn't noticed." She turned around, sticking her tongue out at him playfully.

"I'm serious, Brooke. You have other friends. You don't have to stay with me everyday."

She shrugged her shoulders, walking back over to her bed. "I don't mind. Now eat your breakfast."

He smiled before stuffing some more pancakes into his mouth. "Yes, ma'am."

She giggled, shaking her head. "Didn't your mother ever teach you not to talk with your mouth full?" She scolded, playfully.

She didn't realize what she'd said until he looked away from her. _Oh crap._

_Good job._ "Julian, I didn't mean-" She began, but he cut her off.

He shook his head. "I know you didn't. Don't worry about it." He offered her a small smile, before taking another bite. He didn't really want to get into it. He knew she didn't mean it.

She frowned. She felt like such an idiot. They'd been having a good morning, and she had to put her foot in her mouth.

"Your phone is ringing." He informed her, pulling her out of her thoughts. She looked over to her nightstand and saw her phone was vibrating. She hadn't even heard it.

She jumped up, grabbing it before it could go to voice mail.

"Hello?" She answered quickly, realizing she didn't look to see who was calling. She watched as Julian placed his dish on her night stand before getting up from her bed and walking over to the bathroom.

"Good morning, Pretty Girl."

"Good morning to you!" She walked over to pick up his plate before walking downstairs to the kitchen.

"We missed you last night."

She frowned. The night before, she'd been watching a movie with Julian when Lucas called, telling her that him and the gang were going over to the Rivercourt to hang out. She'd made up the excuse that she was tired, much to Julian's dismay, and told him that she'd see him tomorrow. After she'd got off the phone, Julian had offered to leave so she could go hang out with her friends. She'd refused, and after a few minutes of arguing, Julian had surrendered, sitting down to watch the movie again.

"I missed you, too." She sighed. She felt like it had been so long since she'd seen him. She knew it was only a few days that she'd been hanging out with Julian, but before that she was always with Peyton. She made a mental note to spend more time with him. She could tell her absence was beginning to bother him.

"Why don't we do something tonight? Just the two of us?" He offered. "I miss you, babe. I feel like I haven't seen you in months."

She put the plate in the dishwasher before making her way upstairs. She could hear the hope in his voice.

She pushed her bedroom door open. "That sounds-" She stopped in her tracks, unable to finish her sentence.

Julian turned around in alarm, standing there in nothing but a towel.

She stood there for a minute, her mouth going dry. She could swear the temperature had just gone up to 100 degrees. "Uh. Yeah," She paused, clearing her throat. "That sounds great. Listen.. I'll- I'll call you later, ok?"

"Ok..." She could hear the confusion in his voice. "I love you."

"Love you too." She hung up the phone, still looking at him. She could tell his body was still wet. She'd never realized he was that built. She'd seen him with no shirt on before, but for some reason, this was different. She'd never noticed how defined his abs were.

"Brooke." He cleared his throat.

She glanced back up at his face, feeling her cheeks burn when she saw the smirk on his face. She was sure she was as red as a tomato. She shook her head. "Right. Sorry." She quickly backed out of her room, walking toward the stairs. She paused there, shaking her head. She couldn't get the image out of her head.

_What the hell was that?_

~*~

Julian made his way downstairs slowly, wondering where Brooke was.

He didn't know if she'd left or not after what had happened in her bedroom earlier. He didn't even know what happened. One minute, he was standing there about to get dressed, and the next she was standing there staring at him. He didn't even know how to take the way she was looking at him. Was she checking him out? Or was she just surprised to see him standing there half naked?

He walked toward the family room, he could heard noise from what he assumed was the television. He stopped in the doorway, seeing her sitting on the couch, staring at the tv. She didn't seem to be paying attention though, because she kept shaking her head.

"What are you watching?" He asked.

She jumped, turning her head to look at him. Thankfully, he was fully clothed this time. "Uh.. I was watching Without a Trace. I mean I am watching it." She mumbled, looking back toward the tv. She couldn't even look him in the eye. She could feel her face start to heat up again as she thought about him standing there, looking at her curiously. Probably wondering what the hell she was staring at.

Truth was, she'd barely been paying attention to the show at all. She couldn't stop thinking about how stupid she'd acted upstairs. She'd practically been drooling over him. And for that, she felt like an idiot. She'd seen him shirtless countless times for God's sake! And he was her best friends ex boyfriend. Very current ex-boyfriend nonetheless. She should not be checking him out. She should be checking out her boyfriend. She shook her head in frustration. Maybe she was thinking too much into this.

She felt silly, being uncomfortable with him now, but she couldn't help it. She was so embarrassed. She didn't know if he'd even noticed. _Of course he noticed. You looked like a fool! _She screamed in her head.

"Brooke-" He took a step into the room, but the sound of his cell phone ringing stopped him. He quickly pulled the phone from his pocket, looking at the caller id.

"It's the hospital. I have to take this." He flipped the phone open before putting it to his ear. "Hello? Yes, this is Julian. Dr. Soloman. I'm doing ok, how are you?"

She turned the TV off quickly, watching him as he spoke to the doctor.

"Uh, yeah. Yes, sir. I'll be there as soon as I can." He said into the phone before hanging up. He looked over at Brooke.

She stood up quickly, walking over to him. "What happened?" She asked, concerned. If the doctor was calling him directly, she assumed it had to be important.

"He wants to talk to me." He explained, walking to the door. He grabbed his jacket and keys.

"He couldn't talk to you over the phone?" She asked, confused. She stood in the doorway of the family room, watching him. She could tell that he wanted to get over to the hospital as fast as possible.

He shook his head. "He needs to talk to me in person, apparently." He explained, pulling his jacket on. He turned toward the door before he turned toward her.

He could see by the look on her face how concerned she was for him. "Do you want to come with me?" He asked softly.

"Are you sure?" She hated hospitals. She hated them with a passion. He nodded.

She could tell by the look on his face that he wanted her to be there with him.

"Let me grab my jacket."

It was a few minutes later that they were on their way to the hospital. They'd both been quiet for the ride. Julian worrying about his mother, and Brooke worrying about him. She could tell by the way he was gripping the steering wheel with both of his hands how anxious he was to get there. She reached over, touching the hand that was closest to her softly, causing him to glance at her. She gently took his hand off the wheel, holding it in both of hers. She smiled up at him, giving his hand a soft squeeze. He sighed, gripping her hand tightly before moving his eyes back onto the road.

She didn't let go of his hand until they were pulling into the parking lot. He found a spot close to the front of the building and they both got out quickly.

As soon as they walked into the building, Julian led them over to a large desk.

"Hello. I just need your IDs and the room number." The lady behind the desk told them politely.

After they got their guest passes, Julian led them toward an elevator.

After the third door they had to pass through, Brooke found herself getting lost. She didn't know how anyone could possibly know where they were going. There was so many rooms. She frowned, realizing Julian knew exactly where to go.

After a few more turns, he walked up to another big desk. The lady behind it turned toward him, smiling softly. "Hello, dear." She greeted him. It seemed like she knew who Julian was already. The thought caused Brooke's stomach to turn slightly. No one should be familiar with any of the employees in a hospital unless you knew them personally.

"I'm here to see Dr. Soloman." Julian informed her, looking around.

The nurse nodded. "Go ahead and go see your mom, honey. I'll let him know you're here." She nodded her head down the hallway.

Julian nodded before looking toward Brooke. "You can wait out here if you want." He told her, quietly. He didn't want to make her feel like she had to come with him. He was surprised she'd come this far.

"Do you want me to come with you?" She asked, carefully. She hated hospitals altogether, but she was already there. It couldn't get any worse.

He nodded. There was no use lying to her. He wanted her with him. For some reason, she made him stronger. And for some reason, he knew he was going to need her.

"Then I'm coming with you." She smiled, nodding toward the direction the nurse had indicated to. "Let's go."

She followed him down the long hall before he finally stopped in front of a door. 223. He paused, glancing back at her. She nodded, letting him know to go in.

He sighed, turning the door handle and walking into the room. He made his way over to the side of her bed before sitting down next to it. He took her hand in his before leaning down to kiss it softly. "Hey mom." He greeted, softly.

Brooke stayed a few feet away, watching him quietly. She looked at his mother. She looked so peaceful. To Brooke, it looked like she was just asleep, but she obviously knew better. She'd been expecting a lot of bruising and cuts, but she was surprised to see that there were none. All she could see now was the light pink scars that her cuts left behind. She could see that one of her legs were larger then the other under the blanket, and realized that she still had the cast on.

She felt her heart ache as she watched Julian press another soft kiss to his mothers hand. She wished there was something she could say or do to make this easier for him, but she knew there wasn't. The only thing that could make him feel better at this point was if the woman lying before her, woke up.

"Julian." A man's voice came from behind them, causing them both to turn around in surprise. Neither one of them heard him enter.

Julian stood up quickly, walking over to him. "Dr. Soloman." He greeted, shaking the man's hand.

"How are you doing?" The doctor asked, shaking his hand.

Julian shrugged. "Hanging in there." He mumbled.

Brooke watched as the doctor looked over to her, giving her a smile. "Hello."

"Dr. Soloman, this is Brooke Davis. Brooke, this is my mothers doctor."

Brooke reached out, shaking his hand, smiling politely.

"It's nice to see someone with you, Julian." He smiled. "How about we step outside for a moment?"

Julian shook his head. He knew he was asking that because of Brooke standing there. It was obvious he wasn't asking for his mother's behalf. "It's ok."

The doctor paused for a moment, before closing the door behind them. "I know you're curious as to why I asked you down here today, son."

Julian nodded, waiting for him to continue. "I am."

Dr. Soloman sighed, and Brooke could swear her heart stopped. She could tell by the look on his face that he didn't call julian down here to give him good news. She took a step toward Julian, unconsciously. She wanted to reach out to him, but she didn't.

"I know that this is hard for you, and I'm sorry to ask this." He paused. Julian nodded slowly. "I'm curious if you know how your mother felt about being kept on life support." He finally said.

Julian stood there for a moment, unable to respond. He didn't know. The realization hurt worse then he thought. He didn't know anything about what she would have wanted. "I don't." He replied, quietly.

The doctor nodded. "I'm going to be honest with you, Julian. I'm not going to tell you that your mother will never wake up. As you know, dealing with comatose patients, the best chances for someone to wake up is in the first 4 weeks. I'm not saying that it wont happen. I don't want to make this decision for you, but because your father passed away, it's up to you whether or not you want to keep her on life support." He explained.

Julian stood there, unable to move. He heard everything the doctor was telling him, but he couldn't respond. How was he supposed to decide something like that? He was 17 years old. He shouldn't have to decide whether or not his mother lives or dies.

He felt Brooke reach over and grip his hand. He laced his fingers through hers, holding onto her tightly.

She felt her phone vibrating in her back pocket, but she ignored it. Whoever it was could wait. She hoped that neither of them could hear it.

"I don't expect you to make this decision now. Sleep on it. You can let me know on Monday what you decide." The doctor explained, before nodding his head and walking out of the door.

They stood there for a long time, Julian just staring at the door that the doctor had just left from. He didn't know what to do. How could he make a decision like this?

"Julian?" Brooke's voice brought him out of his thoughts. He saw her standing in front of him, looking up at him with concern in her eyes.

He sighed, taking a deep shaky breath. He reached out, pulling her into his arms. He hugged her tightly, burying his head into her neck.

She wrapped her arms around him tightly, laying her head on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry." She whispered.

He hugged her tighter.

~*~

"Do you want something to eat?" Brooke asked as they walked into her house later that afternoon.

They'd sat with Julian's mom for a while after he'd spoken to the doctor. He'd introduced Brooke to his mother, told her all about how great Brooke was being with lately.

Brooke had just sat there quietly as Julian told her stories of how school was going and stuff at school. She laughed when he laughed, and she cried when he cried. It had been a long afternoon, but she was glad that he'd asked her to go. She'd sat there with him all afternoon, holding his hand while he talked to her. She could tell how much it meant to him. Every now and then he'd squeeze her hand and smile at her. She didn't need him to say out loud what he was thinking. She knew he was glad she was there.

"Ya. That sounds good." Julian pulled his jacket off, hanging it on the back of the couch. He leaned against it, looking at her.

"Better yet, why don't we go out?" She asked, smiling. She wanted to get his mind off of everything. And she knew that being cooped up in the house wasn't the way to do that.

He smiled weakly at her. "Where to?"

"Let's go to the mall. We can grab lunch there. And we can go shopping!"

He laughed at her now, watching as she clapped excitedly. "Sure." Anything sounded better then sitting around all day, thinking about what the doctor had told him.

"Let's go!" She pulled her jacket on again, heading to the door.

"I'm gonna stop by my house really quick, I'll meet you there, ok?" He asked, following her out the door.

She nodded. "I'll wait for you by the food court."

"Okay, I'll see you in a little bit."

~*~

"Ooh. This is cute." Brooke mumbled to herself, picking a shirt off the rack to look at it better. She added it to the pile of clothes on her arm that she'd already picked out. She shook her head noticing just how much she was already carrying. She had a serious shopping problem.

She glanced down at her watch, realizing she should make her way to the food court. Julian would be meeting her any minute.

After paying for her clothes, she walked toward where she was meeting him.

She was just about there when she stopped to look inside one of the stores. A dress in the window had caught her eye.

"Hey B. Davis!"

She froze. _Oh no. No. No. No. _She turned toward the voice, and there was Peyton. "Peyton! Hey! What are you doing here?" She asked, looking past her to see if she saw Julian. He was no where in sight. She sighed in relief.

"Waiting for everyone to get out of Champs." She laughed, pointing toward the store 20 feet in front of them.

Brooke looked over to see Nathan, Haley, Lucas and Jake walking toward them. None of them seemed to notice her yet. She contemplated making up an excuse to Peyton and making a run for it, but she knew she couldn't. There was no way she'd be able to think of a good enough excuse without making her suspicious. And she knew her friends would be insulted if they knew she didn't stop to see them.

"I saw you walking out here by yourself, and I came to catch up with you. We tried calling you." Peyton explained.

Brooke thought back to when her phone had been ringing when she was in the hospital with Julian. She forgot to check to see who it was. Good job. "Oh, ya. I have my phone on silent. I must not have heard it." She looked around again. He had to be here somewhere. They were supposed to meet each other 10 minutes ago.

"Hey baby." Lucas smiled, seeing her with Peyton. He walked over and gave her a long kiss. She let herself get lost in his kiss for a moment. She hadn't realized how much she missed him until that moment. She smiled up at him once he pulled away.

"Hi!" She greeted everyone, trying to sound excited. She realized she sounded a little too excited, but no one seemed to notice.

"Hey Tigger. You're by yourself?" Haley asked, looking around.

Brooke nodded quickly. "Yup! All by my lonesome!" She smiled widely. _Too wide._

"Great. We were about to grab some lunch." Nathan explained. They all started to make their way to the food court.

"Why don't we go to Karen's instead! That's a great idea. The mall food isn't that good anyway." She suggested quickly, standing in front of Lucas.

"Why? We're already here. Besides, Haley and I really want Chinese." He smiled, taking her hand before walking with everyone again.

She could tell she wasn't going to win this. She walked quickly, trying to get in front of everyone. Maybe if she saw him first, he'd see who she was with and he'd walk away.

She walked around the corner first and saw him leaning against the wall.

"There you are. What took-"

She was pretty sure her heart stopped when she saw him right in front of them.

"Julian!" Peyton exclaimed, surprised. It had been weeks since they'd all seen him outside of school.

"Uh...Hey." He greeted, awkwardly. To say that he was surprised to see everyone standing there would be an understatement. He looked at Brooke briefly and he could tell by the panicked look on her face that she hadn't been expecting it either.

"What are you doing here?" Lucas asked, annoyed.

Julian looked at Brooke, not knowing what to say. She gave him a pleading look.

"Just shopping." He shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets. He knew that was a lame excuse, he didn't have any bags in his hands. No one seemed to notice.

"Well, if you don't mind." Lucas gestured for him to walk away.

Julian looked at Brooke again. She could see how hurt he was from the look in his eyes.

"Ya, excuse us." She said rudely. She could almost taste the regret as she said it. She stared at him, and she could tell that her eyes were deceiving her.

Julian shook his head, turning around and walking away from them.

He knew that she didn't tell anyone what was going on because he asked her not to, but he couldn't help but be a little hurt at how she spoke to him.

He shook his head. He'd really made a mess of things.

~*~

"He really has some nerve." Lucas muttered, watching Julian walk away.

Brooke stayed quiet, she didn't know what to do. She felt horrible. She wanted to run after him, but she knew she couldn't. She was the one who invited him, and she'd just told him to go away. Now she was listening to her friends bad mouth him, and he'd done nothing wrong.

"You okay?" She heard Jake ask from behind her.

She turned to see he was talking to Peyton. She'd been quiet the entire time Julian was standing there. The only time she said anything was when she'd said his name when she'd originally saw him.

"I'm fine." She mumbled. She wasn't looking at Jake, though. She was watching Julian walk away.

"He's an ass. Just forget about him." Jake put his arm around her shoulders, giving them a comforting squeeze.

Brooke shook her head. _No he's not!_ She wanted to scream, but she bit her tongue.

"That's putting it mildly. I can't believe he'd even show his face." Lucas shook his head.

"Look at it this way. He wont be back." Nathan said.

Brooke stared at them. She couldn't believe this. Julian didn't even do anything this time. All he'd done was meet Brooke at the mall. Not that their friends knew that, but still. He'd done nothing to them. If Lucas hadn't been so rude, she doubted that Julian would have said anything to him at all.

"I'm sure he will. He's an asshole."

"He didn't do anything, Lucas. You were the one who fought with him." Brooke muttered. She knew she should keep her mouth shut, but she couldn't stop herself from saying something.

She'd had enough. If Lucas would have let Julian walk away to begin with, they wouldn't be standing here having this conversation.

Everyone stared at her, surprised.

"For good reason." Lucas replied, looking at her carefully. When did she start standing up for Julian?

"What good reason?" She asked, annoyed. "He's on public property. He wasn't doing anything wrong."

"Guys, this isn't a big deal. Let's just go get some lunch." Haley spoke for the first time. She could see that this was going to end badly.

"Why are you standing up for him?" Lucas demanded, ignoring Haley.

"I'm not! He just didn't anything."

"Yes you are! Do you expect us to be nice to him after everything he's done?" _Yes!_

"We don't know his side of the story, Lucas." She shot back.

"Who cares what his story is. He's a jerk, Brooke. You know that."

"Guys! Let's just go get something to eat. There's no use fighting over this. He's gone." Nathan stepped between the two, putting his hands up to stop their fighting.

"You guys go. I lost my appetite." She kept her eyes on Lucas as she spoke. She bent down to grab her shopping bags before walking toward the exit.

She could hear Haley calling her name, but she didn't stop. She started walking faster. She didn't want to talk to anyone. All she wanted to do was find Julian and apologize.

She was almost at her car when she felt someone grab her arm. She turned and saw Haley standing there, trying to catch her breath. _She must have been running to catch up to me_, Brooke thought.

"What was that about?" Haley asked after she finally caught her breath.

Brooke sighed, running her hand through her hair in aggravation. "I don't know, Hales." And she didn't. She was beginning to realize that she didn't really know anything anymore.

"What's going on, Brooke?" Haley could see how angry she was, but she didn't know why. Lucas talking about Julian was almost an everyday thing. As far as she could remember, Brooke had never gotten mad at him for it in the past. It seemed like Brooke's anger had a lot more to it.

"I just don't understand why he always has to do that." Brooke exclaimed, opening her back door to throw her shopping bags in.

Haley frowned. "Do what, Brooke? You know how Lucas is. He always does that." She really didn't understand where this was going.

Brooke sighed, shaking her head. "I know. It doesn't make it ok, though."

"What-" She began but Brooke interrupted her.

"I'm sorry but I gotta go. I'll call you later." She opened her car door, before getting in quickly.

Haley stood there, confused. She watched as Brooke backed out of her parking spot.

She turned when she heard someone running up behind her. She could hear Brooke speed out of the parking lot.

"Brooke!" Lucas called, but it was no use. She was too far away to hear him. And even if she had, he wasn't sure she'd stop.

"Dammit!" He kicked an empty soda can on the ground, turning to face Haley.

She was looking at him with a concerned look on her face.

"Come on, let's go inside." She offered, softly.

He turned toward the direction Brooke had just left, shaking his head.

"Come on. Just let her cool down." He felt her grab his hand softly, leading them back into the mall.

~*~

"Julian?!" She called, running into the house. She ran upstairs, opening her bedroom door, looking around.

"Julian?" She made her way down stairs to the kitchen, and then to the living room. She sighed, realizing he wasn't there. She leaned her back against her front door, closing her eyes. She didn't know where to look.

She heard her phone vibrating in her purse next to her and she pulled it out, quickly. She sighed when she saw it wasn't him. It was Lucas.

He'd been calling her nonstop since she left the mall. She felt bad ignoring him, but she didn't know how to explain her actions earlier. She wasn't angry at him, she was angry at herself. She was mad at herself for letting everything get to her like that. She shouldn't have let what everyone was saying get her so angry.

She grabbed her keys, pulling her door open in frustration. She had to find him. She needed to apologize.

She got into her car before quickly driving over to Karen's Cafe. She walked in, looking around desperately, but was disappointed to see he wasn't there. She was really running out of places to look.

On the way to the cafe, she'd taken a detour to see if he was at the Rivercourt, but he wasn't there either.

"Hey Brooke. Two times in one day!" Karen greeted, walking over to her. She could immediately see how worn out she looked.

She sighed. "Hey Karen."

"What's wrong, Brooke?" She asked, seeing how upset she was.

"I just.. I need to find someone. I'm sorry, Karen. I have to go." She hugged her quickly before running out the door.

Karen stared after her for a minute, before shaking her head. She laughed. _Teenagers._

~*~

She sighed in relief when she saw his car in the parking lot. She'd been looking for him for hours. She was just about to give up, when she remembered he told her that he came here sometimes to clear his head.

She was surprised she didn't get a speeding ticket on the way there.

She walked onto the sand before stopping to pull her sandals off. She looked around.

She spotted him sitting about 20 feet away from the water, staring up at the sky. She watched him for a minute before slowly making her way toward him.

She felt so bad about earlier. She had no idea that Lucas and the gang were going to show up at the mall that afternoon. She should have thought before she suggested they go there, but she hadn't.

She had been trying so hard to distract him and cheer him up that she didn't really stop to think of anything else. Now the whole afternoon had blown up in both of their faces.

She couldn't get the look on his face when she'd told him to pretty much go away out of her head.

She stopped a few feet away from him, unsure of how angry he was with her. She knew that if she were him, she'd be furious. She wouldn't even wanna speak to him if he'd done something like that to her.

"I knew you'd find me." His voice startled her out of her thoughts. He didn't even turn around. She realized he didn't sound angry with her. That gave her a little bit of hope.

She stared at him for a moment, wondering how he knew she was standing there. She'd barely made a sound.

She walked over cautiously, before sitting down next to him. She looked over at him, but he kept his eyes focused on the stars.

"You know, there's supposed to be a meteor shower in the next couple of weeks, I heard." He told her.

She nodded, though she wondered if he could even see her. His eyes seemed to be focused on something, he didn't appear to see anything around him.

"I'm sorry, Julian." She mumbled, softly. She couldn't hold it in any longer. She needed him to know that she felt horrible about hurting him, and that she wouldn't do it again.

He lowered his head to stare out into the ocean. He seemed to not want to look at her. She didn't blame him.

"You know, Brooke. I knew that when I told you everything that it wasn't going to be easy. I don't want you dropping everything for me. I didn't expect you to betray any of them. So don't apologize."

"_I'm_ sorry that I dumped all of this on you." He continued. "In fact, if you want to forget about everything after today, I don't blame you."

She frowned. "Julian," She lifted his chin so he was facing her. "I'm _not _sorry you told me. I'm glad you did."

"I don't want you to feel like you have to choose, Brooke. It isn't fair to you. Peyton is your best friend. I can't ask you to keep something like this from her. And Lucas." He shook his head. "Lucas hates me. He'd kill me if he knew you were spending time with me."

She knew he was right.

She shook her head. "I didn't need to act like that today, though. I'm sorry. You don't deserve that."

He laughed once. "That's not what your boyfriend thinks."

"Lucas doesn't know everything. If you'd just tell them-"

"No." His voice was hard. "I'm not telling anyone anything, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't either." He looked up at the stars again.

She sighed, running her hands over her face in frustration. "This whole thing could be easily solved, Julian. I don't understand."

"Well, maybe I don't want it to be solved."

"Why not? Those are your friends too." She paused, watching him roll his eyes. "They are, and you know it. They have no idea what's going on."

"And it's going to stay like that, Brooke." He finally looked over at her, staring her right in the eye. "I mean it."

She opened her mouth again, but quickly shut it. She could tell by the look on his face that he wasn't going to budge.

He looked out at the water again before speaking. "If this is too hard for you, I understand. I really appreciate everything that you've done for me in the past week, really, I do.. But you don't owe me anything."

"I'm not going to just walk away."

"Why not?" He challenged.

"Because, Julian. You told me for a reason. You picked me, for a reason. I'm not going to turn my back on you." She moved to sit on her legs in front of him, forcing him to look at her.

"I'm sorry that I dumped all of this on you. I don't want you to feel obligated to me in any way.. Please don't ruin your relationships over me."

"I'm not ruining anything." She ignored the pointed look he was giving her. "I'm not. And I'm not going to betray your trust. I told you a couple of days ago that I'm not going anywhere. I mean that."

He sighed, reaching over to take one of her hands in both of his. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do.

"Can I ask you a question?" She asked after a moment.

"You just did." He teased, smiling slightly.

She shook her head, waiting for him to answer. Once he finally nodded his head, she continued. "Why didn't you tell Peyton?"

He looked down at her hand, still in his. He knew she was going to ask that question sooner or later. He was surprised that it wasn't sooner.

She waited, gently squeezing his hand in encouragement.

"I was going to at first. When I first found out about her calling me. That was when I started acting different. I didn't do it intentionally, I really couldn't help it. My grandma was talking to me about it every 5 minutes, I just couldn't take it anymore. All I wanted to do was be by myself."

She nodded, waiting for him to continue.

"I actually tried to talk to her about it one night. The night that she asked me what was going on. But it was like, all she wanted to know was what she did wrong. She wouldn't accept that it was me. And then I just realized, that it didn't matter to her what was wrong with me, all she seemed to care about was whether or not me and her would get better. So I tried. That day at the pool. The night at Tric. I really tried. But the more I kept everything in, the more I started to pull away. After that, I couldn't pretend. I started to resent her. I know it wasn't fair. She never out right told me that she didn't want to know. But I could see it. All she was concerned about was us being us again, and it didn't matter what was going on with me. It didn't matter that I was hurting, and I was going through all of this alone. All that mattered was that she wasn't getting my full attention anymore, and I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to shove it on her. I didn't want to tell her out of anger. I just wanted her to be there for me. And I guess she couldn't do that." He looked at her, wondering if she was going to be angry with him. He was angry at himself.

She was still looking at him, trying to process everything he'd just told her. She expected to be angry with him, for pushing Peyton away. But she couldn't. She was angry at her for not being there for him. She was angry that Peyton was the only one who was close enough to him to really notice a difference, and she seemed to do nothing.

"I'm sorry." She sighed, leaning in to pull him into a hug. She found that she did that often now. She felt like she was always trying to hug his pain away. She wished that she could just make everything go away for him.

He laughed a little. "Why are you apologizing?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I just.. hate that you're going through all of this and there's nothing I can do." She frowned.

He shook his head. "There's nothing you can do? Brooke, you've helped me more in the past couple of days then I've helped myself in a month."

She was about to say something when her cell phone started to ring. She'd turned the ringer up when she'd left Karen's, worried that she might not feel the vibration if he called.

She sighed, seeing it was Lucas again.

"Why don't you just answer it?" Julian asked. He knew who it was.

"I don't know what to say." She replied, honestly. She looked up at him again.

"You can't ignore them forever."

She frowned. "I know."

"Go to him."

"What?" She asked, confused. She'd just found him, she wasn't going to leave him already.

"Go make up with Lucas, Brooke. I'm gonna go home tonight anyway."

"Why?" He'd been staying with her all week.

"I told my grandma I would. When I went home, she asked me to." He explained.

She nodded slowly. "Ok... Are you sure? I can stay." She offered. She could tell by the look on his face, however, that he'd already made up his mind.

"Positive.. Go ahead. Go make up with your friends." He smiled.

She sighed, leaning in to place a soft kiss to his cheek. He closed his eyes.

"Call me later, ok?" He nodded.

"Ok." She stood up, looking at him for a moment. She sighed, walking toward the parking lot again.

He waited a second before turning to watch her go. Once she was off the sand, he turned toward the water again. After a second, he stood up, walking toward where the water started.

She bent down to put her shoes back on after she stepped onto the pavement. When she was done, she turned around to look at him, watching as he walked toward the water. She could see, even from a distance how torn up he was. But she didn't want to push him. If he didn't want to talk to her, she couldn't force him.

She sighed again, turning around and walking to her car.

For some reason, she had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.

~*~

"Julian?"

He turned around from locking the door, he pulled his jacket off. "Hey. What are you doing awake?" He watched his grandmother walking out of the kitchen to meet him. He was surprised to see his her still awake. It was nearly midnight, he expected her to be asleep a long time ago.

"I couldn't sleep. What are you doing here?" His grandma asked, confused. "I thought you were staying out again tonight."

He shrugged.

"I thought so too."

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**I'm sorry ahead of time if there were any grammatical errors or typos. I edited it earlier tonight, but when I went to save it, I lost everything! I was so angry! So I did it again just now, and I'm kinda tired, so I might have missed a couple of things. If you notice any, please let me know! Lol. **

**Please review and let me know what you think! :) You guys are awesome!!**


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N- First of all, thank you soooooooo much for all your reviews last chapter. I especially wanna thank Angell4NEPatriots for the extra long one. You have no idea how much I appreciate you all taking your time to let me know what you think. You guys are seriously the best!!! I'm sorry that I didn't update as quick as normal. I'm only a day late. Haha! I didn't get to see Monday's episode yet, because I had to work all night (Booo!) But I did TiVo it. I've been trying really hard not to read anything that would give anything away. I can't wait to watch it! Anywayy! I hope you guys like this chapter. I feel like it took a completely different turn that what I originally planned for it, but I hope you like it anyway. A lot of you guys have been worried about Brooke cheating on Lucas and wondering why Julian hasn't told any of his friends what's going on. The first question will be answered very shortly, and as for the second one, that will be answered gradually throughout the story. Everyone knows what it's like to hold something inside, not knowing how to tell people what's going on. And Julian is going through a really tough time right now. And this is his way of dealing with it. Poor Julian. At least he has Brooke! :) Anyway, sorry for the long note. Onto the chapter. Please please please review and let me know what you think! They mean the world to me! Enjoy!!

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Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill nor am I affiliated with anyone off the show. Darn! :)

**Chapter 6**

November 22, 2005

"Brooke?"

Brooke looked over, watching Lucas look around her dark bedroom. He was laying on her bed, and up until a few seconds ago, had been fast asleep. She could only see him from the dim moonlight streaming through the blinds on her window.

"Over here." She replied, softly. She turned her head to stare out the window again.

He looked over to see her sitting on the window seat. He glanced over at her alarm clock. 4:34 am.

"What are you doing, babe? Come back to sleep." He mumbled, tiredly. They'd gone to sleep over 2 hours ago, but when he went to put his arm over her, he'd woken up when he felt nothing but the cool sheet on her bed.

She stared out the window for another moment before making her way to her bed. She wanted to tell him that she hadn't gone to sleep yet, but she didn't. She'd been up all night worrying about Julian, she knew he was at home safe, but it made her feel very anxious to not be around him. She knew it had only been a week that he was staying with her, but it felt weird not having him there tonight. She felt even worse, knowing that what the doctor had told him earlier in the day was probably tearing him up.

After she'd left him on the beach a couple of hours earlier, she'd almost turned around and gone back to the beach twice on the way to Lucas' house. She was torn. A big part of her knew she needed to go to Lucas and make things right, but there was another part of her that needed to be there for Julian, as well. She'd spent all week being with him, it felt like she was almost missing something, being apart from him.

To make it even worse, she'd missed it when he called earlier in the night. She'd forgotten that she put her phone on silent when she got home, and by the time she saw it, he didn't pick up. She'd called him twice before giving up. She didn't want to disturb him in case he was asleep, or if he was just busy. She'd left him a message to call her as soon as he got the calls, but he never called her back.

Lucas pulled her close to him as she laid down beside him, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist. "Are you ok?" He whispered in her ear, placing a soft kiss to the back of her head. She'd been distracted all night, but he didn't want to push her. He knew how she got when something was bothering her.

She nodded. "Yeah." She turned slightly in his arms so she was facing him. "I'm sorry about earlier." She knew that it wasn't her fault, but she kept apologizing regardless. She felt like she had to.

He sighed. "You did nothing, Brooke. It was me. I was being a jerk. You asked me to cut it out, and I haven't. I'm sorry." He reached up, gently brushing the hair away from in front of her eyes. "We already talked about this."

She frowned. "I know, I just.. I feel bad." That was the only way to describe how she was feeling at that moment. Bad. She had a bad feeling spreading all over her body, and she didn't know how to control it. But she wouldn't tell him that. He'd ask her why, and she didn't have an answer to that.

"For what? You didn't do anything, love." She knew him so well.

"I don't know why. I just do." And that was the truth. She didn't know why, but from the moment she'd met Lucas at her house a few hours before, she had this overwhelming feeling over guilt surrounding her. She knew that most of it was because of her being friends with Julian, but she felt like there was more to it then that. She just didn't know what.

"Well don't." He kissed her forehead. "Stop worrying. You're going to give yourself an ulcer. Go back to sleep, ok?"

She nodded. She looked over at him, and he was smiling at her. She smiled before leaning down to kiss him.

He reached up to hold her face to his, making the kiss last longer. When he finally pulled back, he gently stroked her cheek with his thumb. "Goodnight, Pretty Girl."

"Goodnight." _Julian._

~*~

"Good morning, Julian." Karen called, watching him walk into the cafe.

He smiled at her, looking around to make sure there weren't any familiar faces. He was relieved when he didn't see any.

"Morning. How are you?" He asked, taking a seat behind the counter. He placed his car keys and cell phone down in front of him.

"Pretty good. Can I get you some coffee or juice?" She asked.

"Uh.. Orange juice, please." He smiled. "Thanks."

She nodded, placing it in front of him after a few seconds. "How is everything?"

"Could be better." He answered, shrugging.

She frowned. "Anything you want to talk about?"

He was about to answer her but the ringing from his cell phone cut him off. He gave her an apologetic smile before looking down to see who it was. Brooke.

He picked it up, staring at her name for a moment. He was unsure of whether or not he wanted to answer the call. He knew he had no reason to ignore her, he just didn't know if it was a good idea to keep her so involved anymore. He'd seen first hand the day before just how much this was affecting her, and he realized this wasn't her problem. It wasn't fair to her that she was ruining things in her own life for things that were happening in his.

He looked up at Karen and was surprised to see her looking back at him with a look he couldn't describe. He wondered if she'd seen who it was calling him, but quickly pushed the thought aside. He didn't want to think about that. He hoped she hadn't and that if she did she didn't ask him about it. He didn't know what he would say to her if she did ask. That it was a different Brooke? What were the odds of that? She'd never buy that.

"I uh-" He cleared his throat. "I have to take this, excuse me." He smiled briefly before standing up and walking toward the door. "Hello?" He answered once he was outside.

"Hey. I was just about to hang up. Are you ok?" She spoke quickly, it sounded to him like she was afraid he was going to hang up.

"Uh ya. Sorry. I didn't hear it." He closed his eyes. He hated lying to her. "I'm fine. Are you ok?"

"Me? I'm fine. I called you back last night. I'm sorry I didn't answer. I didn't hear it." She spoke softly.

He laughed once. "You were a little busy I'm sure." Thinking about it left a bad taste in his mouth. He'd been up all night thinking about what she was probably doing. He knew he shouldn't care. She was just a friend to him, but he couldn't help getting a little angry by the thought.

She stayed quiet for a minute. She knew what he was implying, but she didn't want to agree or disagree. "Did you see my call last night?"

He sighed. "Ya, but I didn't want to call you back in case he was there."

She nodded, though she knew he couldn't see her. She didn't want to talk to him about it anymore. She could hear the edge in his voice. She didn't call to annoy him or to argue with him. "Have you heard anything from the hospital?"

"No." He'd thought about going this morning, but he couldn't do it. He couldn't sit there with her, knowing that he had to make the decision that would determine if she kept breathing or not.

"Are you going to?" She asked, timidly.

"I don't know Brooke." He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. "I don't know if I can do it." She wasn't sure what he meant by that, but she chose not to ask.

"I know, honey. Maybe you should take a day off." She winced, realizing it sounded like she was suggesting he take a day off from work or from school.

"I've been going everyday for the past month. I can't not go." He replied, walking toward his car. The more he talked about this, the more his appetite disappeared.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No." He answered quickly. "I mean, I think I should do this by myself."

She stayed quiet, not knowing what to say. She couldn't help but be a little insulted by how fast he responded. "Ok... Well, are you going to come by later?"

He sighed, leaning against his car. He was torn. He wanted her to come with him to the hospital, and he wanted to go to her afterward, but he felt so guilty. He didn't want to continue to put this burden on her. It wasn't fair.

"I don't know, Brooke."

"Why?" She was confused. When she left him the night before at the beach, he'd been the one to tell her to go. Now he was acting as if it were her idea. It seemed like he was angry with her, and she had no idea why. As far as she could remember, she hadn't done anything to him.

"I just don't know if its a good idea."

"What are you talking about?"

"Isn't Lucas going to be with you?" He questioned. He was running out of ways to avoid this. He knew that it was only a matter of time before he gave in. He also knew that this was what he wanted. He wanted her to be there for him. He wanted to hang out with her. It was the only time that he felt something. It felt as if every other minute of the day, he felt nothing.

"No. He's going to be with Nathan tonight. What's going on, Julian?" He could hear how confused she was and he didn't blame her. To her, this really was coming out of no where. After last night, he'd been the one to tell her to go make things better with Lucas. And now, he didn't know why, but he was annoyed by the thought.

"Nothing. Sorry.. Ya I'll come over."

"Are you sure?" She hated how she sounded, but she couldn't help it. She had no idea what was going on with him.

"Positive. I'll see you in a little while, ok?"

"Ok... Bye."

"Bye." He pressed the end button, staring at his phone for a minute. He needed to get a grip on himself. He was being mean to her for no reason, and instead of fighting back, he could tell she was just getting more and more confused.

He groaned, leaning his head back on his car. He had no idea what he was doing with himself anymore. One minute he was perfectly fine, not worrying about anything. And the next, he was getting annoyed at everything. He was mostly annoyed at himself. He knew that.

A part of him wished that he'd just kept all of this to himself, rather then dragging Brooke into the mess, but he found that a larger part of him was relieved. He was so grateful for everything she'd been doing for him. He knew he didn't want to let that go. But the part of him that wished he hadn't said anything to begin with, was worrying that she was giving up too much for him.

While he'd been laying down last night, unable to sleep, he'd made up the decision to try to distance himself from her. He knew that was the only way. He wasn't going to push her away completely, it was too late for that. He just wanted to make sure that she spent time with the other people in her life, instead of wasting it all on him. He knew that she wouldn't just walk away from him, and he was happy about that, but she didn't need her to be with him every minute of every day. He wasn't complaining about it, he just knew that she had other people in her life. And he was worried that if things stayed the same, she'd wind up loosing those people. He didn't want that to happen.

The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he was almost happy that he'd seen everyone at the mall the day before. It really made him realize how much she was sacrificing by being friends with him.

But then she called, and changed everything. He thought he'd be able to be stronger, insist that she hang out with Lucas or Haley or even Peyton. But she sounded like he insulted her, and that was something that he didn't want to do. He refused to cause her anymore pain. So he changed his mind. It wasn't like that wasn't what he wanted. He knew better then that.

Julian jumped as a car slammed on its brakes a couple of yards away. He gasped, looking over. He was expecting to hear a loud crash, but was relieved when there wasn't one. He exhaled slowly. He saw 2 cars stopped in the intersection, just inches apart. He watched as the drivers began yelling at each other, obviously believing the other was the one to blame. From the shouting, the only thing he understood was that one of the cars ran the red light, and the two cars almost collided.

He shook his head. They came within inches of each other. A few seconds more and they would have hit. Just like the drunk driver did to his mother. He felt like the wind was knocked out of him as he thought about it. He took a few deep breaths trying to control his rapid breathing but it was no use. It was like he could see it happening, right in front of him. The guy hadn't been paying attention to the red light. Just like the idiot that hit his mother.

He could barely breath. He didn't realize he was walking until he reached the two cars in the street. Both men stopped arguing, looking over at him curiously. He felt dizzy. He saw it in his head. His mother sitting at the red light, waiting for it to turn green. That neanderthal speeding through the red light, colliding with his mothers car. He felt his fists clench at his side. He stared at the guy who ran the red light. He wanted to hit him. He wanted to hit the guy that put his mother in the hospital. No. He wanted to kill him.

"Julian?"

He felt someone grab his arm, pulling him away. He couldn't imagine what he looked like. He couldn't breath. He wanted to scream at the guy. Scream at him for not paying attention. Scream at him for almost causing a horrific car accident. Scream at him for hurting his mother. He knew it wasn't the same guy, but he didn't care. He needed to blame it on someone.

"Julian." He heard the person again, and it was then that he realized he was sitting in the cafe again. He looked up to see Karen looking at him, concerned. "Julian, honey. Are you ok?" She asked. "Here. Drink this." He looked down at the glass of water she placed in front of him.

"I-" He started, shaking his head. "I have to go." He stood quickly, almost running out of the restaurant. He ran to his car, before throwing it in reverse and speeding off down the street.

He knew he must have looked crazy to Karen, but he couldn't worry about that right now. He had to get out of there.

He sped all the way to the house, not caring whether or not he would get a speeding ticket on the way. He needed to get there. He threw his car in park as soon as he pulled in front of her house. It was a minute later that he was standing on the porch, knocking on the door loudly. He waited a few seconds before knocking again.

The door opened then, and he saw her. She stared at him curiously for a moment before understanding seemed to dawn on her. She took a step outside, reaching out for him.

"Julian? What's wrong?" Brooke asked, grabbing his arms. His face was bright red and she could see the unshed tears building in the corner of his eyes.

He didn't answer her. Instead he just hugged her, wrapping his arm tightly around her waist. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, desperately trying to hide from the pain. He was barely aware of her voice, though he could tell she was talking to him. She was asking what happened, she wanted to know what was wrong.

"I can't do it. I can't." He finally pulled away, staring her in the face. His voice was panicked, but he couldn't control it. He felt like he had no control of anything right now. Not even over his own body.

"Ok. Ok. Come on. Let's sit down." She walked with him until they were sitting down on the porch swing.

When she'd heard the knock on the door, she thought it was Lucas or Peyton or someone. She wasn't expecting Julian for a while. But when she opened the door, the look on his face scared her. He looked like he was hyperventilating.

"Ok, calm down." She reached up, putting her hands on either side of his face. He was breathing so hard. "What happened?" She asked again.

"I don't know. One minute I was standing there. And the next, they almost hit each other. It was so close." He looked down, taking slow deep breaths.

"Who, Julian? Who almost hit each other?" She gently urged, rubbing her thumb across his cheek. She didn't know what was going on, but whatever it was, it obviously shook him up quite a bit.

"My mom." He whispered.

Now she was really confused. His mom? She was in the hospital. That wasn't possible.

"Your mom?" She asked softly. She didn't want to upset him any further, but what he was saying wasn't making any sense. She couldn't help him if she didn't know what was going on.

"I was standing there, and these two cars. They almost hit each other. And I saw it. I saw my mom at the red light, and I saw the car hitting her. I saw her, Brooke." His voice broke as he finally looked up at her.

Her heart started to pound in her chest when she saw the tears streaming down his cheeks. She realized then that he must have seen someone almost get into a car accident and it reminded him of his mother. "Did they run a red light?" She asked, carefully.

He nodded.

She frowned, reaching up to pull him into her arms again. She could feel his body shake as the sobs wracked through his body. She pulled him tighter against her body, tucking his head under her chin.

"It's going to be okay.. I promise."

~*~

It was a few hours after Julian came over that Brooke was sitting on her couch watching TV. He was laying down, with his head in her lap. He'd been asleep for almost an hour.

She looked down at him and sighed. She didn't know what she could do to help him. She couldn't get the look on his face when he got to her house out of her head. He looked so tortured.

After he finally calmed down a little over an hour ago, they'd come inside and he'd fallen asleep not long after. She knew he was exhausted. She could see that as soon as she opened her door. The dark circles under his eyes just seemed to get deeper and deeper as another day passed.

She was worried about what he was going to do about his mother. When he'd said earlier that he couldn't do it, she didn't know what he meant. Now, she wondered if he was talking about the decision he had to make. Was he saying that he couldn't take her off of life support? Or was it that he couldn't let her suffer anymore.

She couldn't imagine that she was suffering. She remembered what his mother looked like when she'd gone to the hospital with him a few days before. She looked so peaceful. She simply looked like she was fast asleep. She wished it were that easy, for Julian's sake.

A knock on the door broke her away from her thoughts and she glanced down at Julian, worried that the knock woke him. He was still asleep. She slowly lifted his head up and placed the couch pillow underneath his head as she got up and quickly made her way to the door. She didn't want them to knock again and wake up him.

When she opened it, she was confused. There was a guy standing there and she could see a delivery van parked in the street behind him. It was after 7 o'clock at night and she was getting a delivery?

"Hello." She greeted politely.

"Are you Brooke Davis?" He asked as he read her name of his clip board. He looked back up to her for her answer.

She nodded. "That's me." She looked at him curiously. He didn't seem to have any packages with him.

He nodded, reaching down to pick up a long skinny box that was leaning against her house. "These are for you. Sign here, please." He handed her the clipboard, and once she was done with her signature, he handed her the box.

"Thank you."

"Have a good evening." He nodded before walking down to his van. He was gone a second later.

She stepped inside, shutting the door behind her. She looked on the outside of the box. There wasn't any note or anything. Curiously, she pulled off the ribbon holding the box together and opened it. She smiled when she saw a dozen white roses. There was a note laying across them.

_Happy anniversary. I know I'm early, but I wanted to remind you that I love you. Forgive me for being a jerk. I'll make it up to you. I promise._

_Love you forever,_

_Your Lucas_

She smiled, reaching down to grab one of the them. They were beautiful. She remembered when she told Lucas she loved these flowers. They were walking through a grocery store a couple of years back and she stopped to admire them. He'd asked her if she liked them and she shrugged. She didn't want to say yes, and have him buy them because of it. She'd rather he thought of it on his own. She remembered he'd snuck the bouquet up to the register and hid them in the car while she was busy in the magazine isle. She laughed, remembering her reaction when she'd open the car door. At the time, it was one of the sweetest things he'd done for her.

She smiled at the memory. She brought the rose up to her nose, inhaling the sweet scent.

"Nice roses."

She gasped, spinning around to see Julian leaning against the door frame to her living room. She gripped the rose tighter when she saw the look on his face. She couldn't place it. He looked annoyed.

"Ouch!" She dropped the rose after feeling the thorn prick her skin. She cursed softly, realizing it broke the skin.

"Are you ok?" He asked, concerned. He walked over to her, reaching for her hand.

"I'm fine." She pulled her hand back, running into the kitchen. She quickly put her finger under cool running water.

"I didn't mean to scare you."

She jumped again. She hadn't heard him following her. She turned to glare at him, but he was smiling innocently at her. She felt her heart flutter at the sight.

"I hate you." She muttered, turning back to the sink. She needed to look away from him. She didn't know why she was having this reaction. Maybe it was still her reaction from Lucas' roses. That had to be it. She turned the water off before wrapping her finger in a paper towel.

She turned toward him when he didn't respond, wondering if he left the room. When she looked up at his face, his expression frightened her. He was staring at her so intently.

"What?" She asked, becoming self conscious. He looked like he was looking right through her.

"Let me help you." He took a step closer to her, taking her hand in his. He looked closely at her finger, surprised at how much blood it was producing. The smallest cuts always looked the worst. He reached up behind her, pulling out a band-aid and some neosporin.

She stayed quiet as he wiped away the rest of the blood with a wet paper towel. He was careful not to put any pressure on her finger. He gently rubbed some of the ointment on her skin slowly before wrapping the band-aid securely around it. She expected him to release her hand but he held it in his. She watched as he leaned down slowly, placing a soft kiss on the band-aid. She felt her heart acting up again, but she tried to ignore it.

She cleared her throat, gently pulling her hand away. She took a deep breath, waiting til her heart returned to a steady beat. "Thanks." She offered him a small smile before walking over to the garbage to throw away the trash. She barely looked up at him, scared of what she'd see if she did.

He nodded. "You're welcome." He watched her start to pull the bag out and start to tye it.

"Brooke-" He began, but she cut him off.

"I'm gonna bring this out. It's garbage night." She mumbled, grabbing the bag before hurrying out the back door. If he didn't know any better, he'd think she was nervous. But there was nothing to be nervous about.

He looked over, hearing her phone ringing from the the counter top. He walked over and looked at it. Lucas. He rolled his eyes. He considered sending the call to voicemail, but he knew that would just get him in trouble. She wouldn't do that, and that would inevitably come back to bite him in the butt.

He turned toward her when he heard the door open. She stood there, looking at him curiously. He looked like he'd just been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to.

"Lucas called." He shrugged, nodding his head toward her phone next to him.

She nodded. "Thanks."

They stood there awkwardly for a few minutes before Julian cleared his throat. "Alright, well I'm gonna go stop by the hospital. I didn't go by earlier."

"Ok." She responded quietly. She kept her eyes on him, not moving. She wasn't sure what she should do. It was like they were lost in this awkward moment and neither one of them knew how to get out.

"Ok." He repeated, taking a step toward the living room. He paused for a moment and she realized he was about to say something. "Ya." He mumbled, walking out of the kitchen. It seemed like whatever he was going to say, he held it back.

He wanted to say something, he just didn't know what. He wished something would come to him, so this moment could pass but he couldn't think of a thing.

She followed him to the door, standing in the doorway as he walked down toward his car. "Are you coming back?" She asked suddenly. She wasn't sure he heard her. He was nearly to his car.

He turned toward her and she knew that he had. "Do you want me to?" His question caught her off guard for a moment. Why wouldn't she?

She nodded. "Yes." She responded, truthfully. It didn't feel right not having him there at night for some reason. And that surprised her. It was strange to her that she'd gotten so used to it in just a week.

"Then I'll come back." He offered simply, pulling his keys from his pocket to unlock the door. He waved to her once before he got in the car and drove away.

She stood on her porch, watching his car until his tail lights were no longer visible. She leaned her back up against her front door and sighed.

That had to have been one of the weirdest experiences she'd had with him yet.

She stood out there for a few more minutes before realizing she still hadn't called Lucas about the flowers. She walked into the house, quickly walking to her kitchen where she'd left her phone.

He picked up on the third ring. "Hey Pretty Girl, did you get my surprise?"

She smiled when she heard his voice, and just like that all thoughts of Julian were gone. For now.

"I did and I loved them. But our anniversary isn't for another 3 days." She answered.

He chuckled. "I know, but I decided to start early this year. Unless you want me to wait-"

"No! You don't have to." She interrupted him quickly, causing him to laugh again.

"I didn't think so."

She walked out of the kitchen, walking over to grab the roses. "They're beautiful, Luke. Thank you." She said, sincerely. She brought them into the kitchen, looking around to find a vase to put them in.

"You're welcome. Anything for my girl." He told her. She could hear in his voice that he was smiling. "How about I come over?" He suggested.

"I thought you were hanging out with Nathan tonight?"

"He ditched me for Haley." She could almost see him rolling his eyes in her head.

"Tutor girl is hotter than you." She joked.

"Ha ha. You're so funny." He laughed a little. "I'll be there in 10?" He suggested.

"Ok. That sounds good." She knew that it would be a while before Julian came back over. She assumed he would wind up stopping at his house after he left the hospital anyway.

"Ok, babe. I'll see you soon. Love you."

"Love you too. Bye." She hung up, tossing her phone onto the kitchen counter again. She walked into the dining room, placing the flowers in the center of it. She admired it for a moment before she smiled and walked away.

~*~

It was a few hours later that Lucas and Brooke were laying on her couch, kissing each other hungrily. They'd attempted watching a movie, but it was only a few minutes into it that they were no longer paying attention.

"Mmmm." She moaned softly, leaning her head back as his lips attacked her neck. She gasped when he kissed the sensitive spot right below her ear.

"It's getting late." He mumbled against her skin, though he made no move to stop his ministrations. He kissed his way up her neck until he claimed her lips once again with his own.

"Your- mom- is- going- to- kill- you." She told him in between kisses. She reached up and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, holding him close to her. She didn't want to let him go.

He knew he needed to start heading back to the house if he knew what was good for him, though. It was getting late, and he knew that he needed to beat his mother home.

He sighed, kissing her once last time before pulling away from her. She frowned, reaching up to pull him down for a long kiss.

He kissed her back, happily. It was another couple of minutes before he pulled away, in need of air. "Ok. I have to go."

She sighed. "Ok." She gave him a puppy dog face. She knew it got him every time.

"Brooke." He whined. "Come on, babe. You know I would stay if I could." He leaned down, kissing her softly before standing up. He looked around for his shirt as he fixed his belt buckle. At some point, Brooke had begun unbuckling his belt, but she hadn't taken it fully off.

She sat up reluctantly, looking around for hers as well. She was still fully clothed from the waist down, but her shirt had got lost about an hour before. She smiled at him as he pulled his undershirt over his head. She had such a hot boyfriend.

"Mine." She said, taking his Ravens t-shirt from the side of the couch and pulling it over her head. She pulled the fabric up to her nose before inhaling. "Mmm." She smiled up at him. She loved his cologne. It was one of her favorite scents.

He laughed, pulling his shoes on. "Fine. You can keep it. I'll be ok as long as I make it there before my mom gets there." He stood up, reaching for her hand.

She took his hand, walking over to the front door with him.

When they opened the door, they were surprised when the cool air hit their skin. They both shivered.

"It's getting chilly." She stated. He nodded.

He turned toward her, putting his arms around her waist. He pulled her close to him. "I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked, softly.

She nodded, looking into his eyes. She smiled, biting her bottom lip. "I'll see you tomorrow." She assured him. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." He said, leaning in to place a long kiss to her lips. "Bye." He smiled, running from her porch to his car.

She laughed, watching him rubbing his arms up and down. He was such a little boy when it came to the cold weather.

He turned to look at her once more, smiling at her before he climbed in his car. He waved to her as he pulled away from in front of her house.

She laughed quietly to herself, leaning up against the door frame. He was such a character.

She was about to turn around and go inside when a movement in the corner of her eye made her freeze. She sighed in relief when she saw Julian walk up the walkway to her house.

"Hey." She greeted, her hand over her heart. "You scared me." She laughed, nervously. There was something about the look in his eye that was making her feel uneasy.

"Sorry." He replied, stopping a few feet in front of her.

"When did you get here?" She asked after a moment of silence. She realized it was pretty late. She thought that maybe he'd changed his mind. But she was also thankful. If he'd come while Lucas was there, it wouldn't have ended pretty.

"A while ago. I didn't want to interrupt. Nice shirt." He complimented her, sarcastically. Truth was he'd been sitting in his car a few houses down for the past hour, waiting for Lucas to leave. He knew what they were doing, he wasn't stupid. He also wasn't happy. When he'd seen them come outside, him with only an undershirt on and her in his shirt, he wanted to throw up. He almost left, not wanting to watch them any more, but he was glad that he left after a few seconds.

She looked down at Lucas' shirt and shrugged. "Thanks." She knew he didn't mean it literally, but she didn't want to go down that road again. It had already been awkward enough earlier in the night. She didn't want a repeat. She decided to change the subject.

"Any changes with your mom?" She questioned, walking into her house. She heard him follow.

He shook his head. "Still the same. Still the same decision to make." He sighed.

She frowned, giving him a sympathetic look. "Well you still have 2 days. How about we call it a night?" She suggested.

He nodded. "That's probably a good idea." He knew that if they stayed up any longer they'd probably just wind up arguing about something. That or something would just annoy him, like everything was that day. It was definitely one of those days.

"Let's go." She nodded her head toward the stairs. He motioned for her to go ahead of him.

15 minutes later she walked out of the bathroom after her shower, not surprised to see Julian already fast asleep on her bed. She shook her head. She knew he was exhausted, despite his nap earlier in the day.

She walked over, clicking her lamp off before climbing into her bed as well.

"Goodnight, Brooke." He mumbled in his sleep.

"Goodnight, Julian."

~*~

It was late when Brooke woke up the next morning, she could tell even before she opened her eyes.

She was vaguely aware of the body next to hers until the sound of snoring filled the room. She shook her head, laughing quietly. She never understood his snoring. It wasn't a constant thing. It was like a radio and someone was turning the sound on and off throughout the night.

"What are you laughing at?" She heard from next to her. She turned to look at him, and he was facing her, but his eyes were still closed.

"Your snoring." She revealed, giggling again.

He shook his head. "I do not snore." Ever since she'd told him the week before, he'd been adamant on denying it. He'd slept in the same bed with plenty of people and no one had ever complained about it in the past, he'd told her. She'd just rolled her eyes and ignored him. She didn't want to think of him in bed with other people.

"Whatever you say." She shrugged, looking over at the alarm clock. 10:45. "But when I suffocate you with my pillow one of these days, you'll know why." She giggled again.

He laughed. "Gee thanks."

"What do you want for breakfast?" She asked after her laughter died down.

He shrugged. "Cereal is good." It really didn't matter to him at the moment. And as far as he was concerned, cereal was the easiest thing to make.

"I've had cereal for the past like 4 days." She complained, staring up at the ceiling.

"So lets order out." He suggested. He could definitely go for some pancakes right about now. Yum.

"No." She sat up them, throwing her comforter off of her.

He watched her suspiciously as she climbed out of bed and wrapper her tiny silk robe around her body.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm making us breakfast." She smiled brightly before bouncing out of the room.

He sat there for a moment, chuckling softly before jumping up and following her down stairs.

When he walked into the kitchen, she was already gathering eggs and milk out of the refrigerator.

"Are you sure that's such a good idea? Or did you forget the baking fiasco from the other night?" His voice was teasing.

She rolled her eyes, sticking her tongue out at him. "That box clearly said 24 minutes."

He laughed again. "Ya Brooke, at 350*. Not 425*."

She ignored him, reaching up into the cabinet to pull out a large bowl. "I'm going to make you the best ham and cheese omelet you've ever had, just watch."

He sat down on one of the stools at the island, watching her dance around the kitchen with an amused look on his face.

He shook his head, laughing quietly at the concentrated look on her face as she scrambled the eggs before pouring them into the frying pan. She looked so cute.

She turned toward him slowly, realizing she hadn't heard him in a while. She smiled when she saw him smiling at her.

"Why are you so quiet, mister?" She questioned, turning back to the stove.

He shrugged, though he knew she couldn't see her. He wasn't going to tell her what he was really thinking about. "No reason."

She shot him a doubtful look. "Uh huh." She replied, unconvinced.

"So what are the plans for today?" He asked as she set two plates down in front of him. He had to admit that he was impressed. The food didn't look half bad.

"I'm supposed to meet everyone at the cafe for lunch this afternoon. Do you want to come?" She asked, sitting down next to him.

She watched as he took a bite of his eggs, waiting to see what his reaction was. She was pleased when she saw him nod his head in approval, smiling at her.

"See. I'm excellent." She beamed, taking a big bite of her eggs. "Yum."

"That would be a big no." He answered her question, getting up to get the orange juice from the fridge.

She shrugged. "It was worth a try."

"We'll just do something later." He suggested. She nodded.

"Sure." She took another bite of her food.

"These are good, Brooke. I'm impressed. I was sure you were gonna burn them or something." He teased, backing away when she swat at his arm. He laughed.

"Hardy har har."

~*~

Brooke walked into the cafe, looking around and smiling as she spot her friends sitting at one of the tables toward the back.

"Hey party people." She greeted, sitting down next to Peyton.

"Brooke. Tell Lucas that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is better than Power Rangers." Nathan insisted, looking at her expectantly.

She laughed. It was obvious that her friends had been in a very serious debate about this before she got there.

"Sorry, Broody. I have to agree with Nathan." She giggled, watching Nathan high-five Jake. Lucas simply shook his head.

"I personally liked Power Rangers." Haley added. "The white ranger was hot." She laughed.

"I know!" Peyton and Brooke exclaimed at the same time, causing everyone at the table to laugh.

"So was the Pink Ranger. What was her name?" Jake asked, looking up trying to remember.

"Kimberly." Lucas and Nathan responded. They laughed again.

"Hey kids. Have you guys seen Julian yet?" Karen asked, walking up to the table.

The six of them looked at her, confused.

"Why would we see him?" Lucas asked. As far as he was concerned, this was the last place that Julian would be.

"He was supposed to come by. He stopped in yesterday and he left his wallet. Can you give it to him when he comes in? I'm going to do work in the back." Karen explained.

Lucas was about to protest, but to everyone's surprise it was Nathan who spoke up.

"Sure, Karen. No problem." He reached out, taking the wallet from her.

Once Karen was gone, Lucas glared at him.

"What?" Nathan asked, shrugging. "What's the big deal?"

"Why would you want him to come over here?" Lucas asked.

"Speak of the devil." Jake muttered, watching as Julian walked into the cafe. Everyone turned to look at him.

He didn't seem to notice them until he walked over to the counter to talk to one of the waitresses and she pointed him over to the group.

Brooke held her breath as he made his way over to the table.

"Uh.. Hey." He greeted timidly. "Shelly says you guys have my wallet."

"Ya. Here you go." Nathan held it out for him. Julian took it, nodding his head in thanks.

She watched him walk away, desperately wanting to call him back, but was surprised when someone beat her to it.

"Julian!" Everyone turned to look at Peyton.

He turned around, obviously just as surprised as everyone else was. "Yeah?" He questioned, confused.

"Why don't you sit with us?" She asked, gesturing toward one of the empty seats.

Everyone stayed quiet as he seemed to think over his answer. Brooke thought her heart was going to pound out of her chest.

He shrugged after a few moments. "Sure." He agreed, walking over to sit down beside Haley and Nathan.

They stayed quiet before Nathan finally broke the silence.

"Julian, man. What was better? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Or Power Rangers?"

Brooke sat there quietly, looking around at all of her friends. She was so unbelievably surprised that Peyton invited him to join them, but she was also just as happy. She was also happy that everyone wasn't acting weird around him.

She had no idea what anyone was talking about as Julian looked over at her. She felt like they were the only two sitting at the table as he smiled and winked at her. She hoped that no one saw that.

It didn't feel like everything was back to normal, but for the first time in a long time...

She had hope.

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**I hope you guys liked this chapter! It's really really late, so please excuse me if there are any typos or grammatic errors. I apologize in advance! Please please please review! You guys are the best!**


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N- Hey guys!! Hope everyone's weekend was awesome! I finally watched Monday's episode yesterday and Joy did an excellent job. I especially loved the Jamie/Dan scenes and the Sam/Haley scenes. They were great! I hope Haley doesn't get fired. She did the right thing in my book, though loosing her job would suckkkk! And my goodness! Is Brulian breaking going to be an every week occurrence? Sheesh! I'm glad they made up in the end tho! I didn't see a preview for next week :-\ Is there not a new episode again? I hope not. Anywayy, thank you thank you thank you for all the amazing reviews. You have no idea how happy they make me. You guys rock!! I'm so glad that there are people enjoying this story as much as I enjoy writing it :) I hope you guys enjoy the chapter. More drama, drama, drama!! LOL. Please let me know what you think. Your reviews really inspire me! Enjoy!

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Disclaimer - I do not own OTH, though I wish I didddd :)

**Chapter 7**

November 26, 2005

"Woah, What happened in here?" Julian asked, walking into Brooke's bedroom.

Brooke jumped, bumping her head on her closet door. She turned around in surprise, having not heard anyone come into her room. She glared at him when she saw who it was.

"Ever heard of knocking?" She snapped, rubbing the sore spot on her head. He had an annoying habit of scaring her all the time, and she swore she was going to kill him for it one of these days. That was, if he didn't scare her to death first.

He laughed loudly. She picked up the nearest object to her and chucked it at him.

He caught the shirt easily, holding it up to observe it. "Did your closet throw up?" He questioned, amused.

She looked around. It did look like her closet had exploded. There was clothing covering almost every inch of her room.

"I can't figure out what to wear." She defended, snatching the shirt from away from him.

He laughed again. "What's wrong with what you have on?" In his opinion, she looked great. Her white shirt showed off her curves perfectly, and those jeans.. He'd caught himself staring quite a few times in school earlier in the day. He hoped no one had noticed.

She scoffed. "I can't wear this. I wore it to school today."

He stared at her, not understanding the problem. "So?"

"So I can't wear it tonight." She explained.

He shook his head. Women were so confusing sometimes.

"What time is Casanova picking you up anyway?" He asked, uninterested. Poking his eyes out sounded more appealing than talking about Lucas, but it appeared to be the only thing she was thinking about at the moment.

She didn't seem to notice his tone, and if she did, she ignored it. He assumed it was the latter. "He'll be here at 8. So you should probably leave around 7:30." She sent him an apologetic smile.

He rolled his eyes. He really hated this arrangement. It would be so much easier if they could just hang out and not have to worry about Lucas or Peyton or any one else for that matter. He knew it was his decision to not tell everyone, but he couldn't help being annoyed by it, still.

"He probably wouldn't mind. We're like this now." He smirked, lifting his hand up to wrap his pointer finger and middle finger together.

They both knew that was very far from the truth.

Things had gotten a little better between Julian and their friends over the past couple of days, but things were still very strained. Lucas still hated him, the only difference was he wasn't showing it as openly as he used to. Julian assumed that Brooke was responsible for the change, but he didn't ask. The less they talked about Lucas, the better.

Peyton kept her distance as well. She rarely said anything more to him then a hello when he got there and a goodbye when he left. Brooke assumed it was because she was trying to protect herself from getting hurt again. She didn't blame her, she couldn't say that she wouldn't do the same thing. Julian understood her hesitance as well, and he respected it. He was just happy they were speaking to him.

The only time they'd all hung out since Sunday at Karen's was during the week in lunch. It wasn't much, but it was a step in the right direction as far as Julian was concerned.

She laughed. "Ya, you're BFFs." She turned toward her closet, returning to her previous task. She reached in and grabbed a black dress, staring at it for a moment. She held it up to her body, trying to decide if she wanted to wear it or not.

"Where are you going?" He asked, watching her walk away from her closet. He sat down on her bed, kicking his shoes off. He still had a few hours before he would have to leave.

"I'll be right back." She told him, not bothering to look back. She walked into her bathroom and closed the door.

He shrugged, laying back on her bed. He reached over and grabbed her remote off her nightstand. He glanced over at the clock, trying to think of what might be on television.

He looked around at the mess she'd made, shaking his head. There had to be at least 25 articles of clothing scattered around the room. He couldn't believe that she was going through this much trouble for a simple date. A date with Lucas, no less. He knew that the idea was a lot more appealing to her, but to him, this was completely unnecessary.

He'd been telling himself all week that he would not be here today, but after his visit at the hospital that afternoon, he didn't want to go anywhere else.

It was only 5 days ago that he gave the doctor his decision regarding his mother, and while he knew in his heart it was the right thing to do, he couldnt help wondering what his mother would want him to do. He felt horrible not knowing. It reminded him of when the doctors were questioning him about any allergies or medicial conditions she had, and he had been unable to answer he hoped that he'd made the right decision, not only for him, but for his mother as well.

He smiled, remembering when he'd gone to the hospital Monday afternoon to talk to the doctor. He'd told Brooke to keep the plans she'd made with Haley and Peyton the week before hand, but she showed up at the hospital anyway. He'd been sitting in the waiting room, waiting for the doctor when she'd sat next to him. She didn't say anything to him, she'd just grabbed his hand and smiled at him. She didn't know what he was going to tell the doctor, but she was still there for him. He couldnt explain how he felt that day. He couldn't even explain it now, almost a week later. The memory had his heart pounding the same way it was pounding that afternoon. He was so happy that she was there.

He was just praying for a miracle at this point. He'd told the doctor that he couldn't take her off life support. He knew there was a reason why she'd contacted him, and he couldn't give up on her. He had to do all that he could for her, and ending her life just wasn't an option. Most days he felt confident that he was going to get his miracle, but some days he couldn't help being discouraged. Today had been one of those days.

When he left the hospital, he knew where he wanted to go. He'd debated on it for a few minutes before deciding he just needed to see her. Even if that meant watching her get ready for her big date with Lucas that night. He didn't know why he let it bother him so much. He'd been trying to figure that out all week. It didn't help that Lucas seemed to be around a lot more lately. Even at night when he was able to hang out with her and not worry about someone showing up, Lucas would call or text her, much to Julian's annoyance.

He felt himself getting annoyed all over again with his thoughts before he heard someone clear their throat next to him. When he looked over, he felt his jaw drop.

She was standing in the doorway of her bathroom, wearing the black dress that she'd had in her hands a couple of minutes before. It ended a few inches above her knees, giving an amazing view of her perfect long legs. His eyes continued north until he reached the top of the dress. He felt his mouth go dry when he saw how low the neckline was, the tops of her breasts pressed up against the fabric that tied around her neck.

"What do you think?" She spun around, trying to give him the full effect.

He looked at her for a few more seconds before he realized he was staring. He cleared his throat, trying to form a response. His mind was blurred by a sudden fog. He couldn't think striaght.

She stared at him expectantly. "Julian?" She smoothed out the fabric on her body, feeling a little self conscious under his intense stare.

He cleared his throat again, shaking his head. "You look..." He couldn't think of the right word. Pretty, beautiful, amazing. Those words didn't do her justice. "You look gorgeous." He told her sincerely.

She smiled, feeling her cheeks burn from his compliment. "You really think so?" She asked, turning back around to go into the bathroom.

"Absolutely." He assured her. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her.

"Do you think Lucas will like it?" She asked, running her hands over the fabric. He felt his heart drop at the mention of Lucas. It was an simple question, but it annoyed him to no end. His jaw clenched. Forget Lucas! He wanted to scream. But he held back the urge. That would just cause trouble, and he really didn't want to fight with her.

He shook his head, trying to control the sudden anger rising within him. He was glad she wasn't looking at him.

"Who cares what he thinks?" He muttered. He sure didn't. As far as he was concerned, he didn't deserve this. Any of it. He didn't deserve her tearing her room up, looking for a perfect outfit. He didn't deserve the amazing black dress she was wearing. And he certainly didn't deserve the breathtaking woman that was just standing before him.

"What?" She called from the bathroom. She heard him say something, she just didn't hear exactly what he said.

"He'll love it."

~*~

Brooke looked down at her watch for what felt like the 100th time in 5 minutes. Lucas was 15 minutes late. She'd been crazy about being ready on time, and now she was sitting in her living room, barely paying attention to the television in front of her.

Julian had been gone for almost an hour now, and she was beginning to regret making him leave so early. He could have been sitting here keeping her company now, and Lucas would never the difference.

She stood up, walking toward where her purse was laying by the front door. She wanted to be ready to leave as soon as he got there. Reaching inside, she pulled out her cell phone, checking to see if she had any missed calls. Nothing.

She sighed, shaking her head in frustration. She'd been looking forward to this date all week long, and now it seemed to be for nothing. It felt like her and Lucas had barely been spending any time together and she knew that this night was important for them. But obviously, he didn't seem to care. Why else would he be late, when he told her that he would be at her house at 8 o'clock sharp, and that she better be ready? Why else would he talk about it all week long, just for him not to show up?

She walked back over to the couch, plopping down on it in frustration. She looked at the t.v. screen in front of her. She wasn't even sure what she was watching. Some move that she'd barely been paying attention to a few minutes before. It was a new release, she knew that. Paying attention now, she could easily figure out that the guy and the girl on the screen now were best friends. She could also tell that the guy was in love with her, but when the girl mentioned another guy's name the guy on the screen visibly flinched. There must be a boyfriend, or another guy that the girl liked at the very least.

She rolled her eyes. How could the girl not see how much the guy cared for her? It was so obvious. Every time he saw her, his face lit up. The way he looked at her, it was like she was the only one in the room. What an idiot she was!

"Goodbye." She said to the television, reaching over to turn it off. She didn't feel like watching a love story right now. Not when she wanted to strangle Lucas for making her wait. She looked over at her cell phone for another long minute, willing it to ring. A phone call... A text message.. Anything! Anything from him that said he was on his way and that he'd been late because he was... picking up flowers for her or something.

She leaned back on her couch, crossing her legs one over the other. She stared up at the ceiling, wondering how long she was going to be sitting there. This was getting ridiculous. She could be doing something right now. She could be hanging out with Haley and Peyton. She frowned when she thought of that. She'd barely been hanging out with them lately. She was such a horrible friend. She made a mental note to plan a girls night very soon. She missed her friends.

She reached over, grabbing her cell phone and looking at it once more. She knew she would hear it if it rang, but this was driving her crazy. She'd already called him twice, and it had gone to voice mail both times. She wasn't going to keep calling. He was the one making her wait, let him call.

She scrolled down her contact list before settling on Julian's name. She could call him and talk to him to kill the time. She wondered for a moment if he would be busy. He'd already gone to the hospital today, so she doubted he would be there again. Maybe he was home, reading or something. Maybe doing homework. She didn't want to bother him just in case he was doing something.

She thought it over for another second before shrugging her shoulders. "Screw it." She knew he wouldn't mind her calling. He never did.

Pressing send, she placed the phone to her ear, listening to it ring. It rang 3 times before he picked it up.

"Hello?"

~*~

"Hello?"

"Julian, sweetheart. Can you stop by the market and get milk? I forget this afternoon."

"Sure," He responded. "I'll be home in a little bit."

"Ok be careful."

"Ok, bye." He pressed end, throwing his cell phone onto the passenger seat. He was on his way home from the Rivercourt. After leaving Brooke an hour before, he didn't feel like going straight home. He didn't know what was going on with him lately, but his mood swings were beginning to give him head aches. One minute he was happy, not worrying about anything and the next he felt like he was pissed off with the world.

Watching Brooke get ready earlier, had really annoyed him. And the sad part was that he didn't even know why. He'd known about their date all week, but seeing her get dressed up for him, watching her worry about whether or not he would like her outfit, it just made him wanna punch someone. Who cares what he thought? Honestly. He didn't deserve any of it.

Over the past week, he'd only hung out with them during lunch, but during that time he'd really been trying to get along with Lucas. Of course, that was nearly impossible because Lucas was always an idiot, but he thought he'd done a pretty decent job at ignoring him. He didn't even understand why Lucas hated him so much, he'd done nothing to him. But apparently, he thought differently.

Truth was, he didn't really care whether or not he liked him or disliked him. It didn't matter either way. As far as he was concerned, not being friends with Lucas was not a loss to him, but not being friends with Brooke over it, was. So when she'd asked him earlier in the week to try and get along with him, he'd agreed. Sure, he enjoyed pissing Lucas off, watching how annoyed he got just by the smallest things, but it wasn't worth loosing her over. Not when he'd come to rely on her so much.

That was a mistake, he knew. He thought about that everyday. He shouldn't rely so much on her, because truth was, she owed him nothing. He wouldn't blame her if one day she told him that she couldn't be friends with him anymore. He always knew that was a possibility. Her boyfriend hated him, her best friend wanted nothing to do with him, he could understand easily if she decided that it was too difficult.

He looked over, hearing his phone ring again. He smiled when he saw who it was.

"Hello?" He looked at the time then, realizing it was after 8. It was almost 8:30, actually. "Why are you calling me?"

She laughed. "Oh I'm sorry. I'll hang up then."

"No!" He responded quickly. He rolled his eyes at himself. He was such a pansy. "I mean, its almost 8:30, shouldn't you be on your date?"

"Ya I should, but Lucas is a no show. So whatever." She tried to pay it off like it was no big deal, but he could hear how angry she was. "What are you doing?"

"I'm pulling into the parking lot of the grocery store. I have to pick up milk for my grandma," He paused, putting his car in park and getting out. "What do you mean he's a no show?" How could he not show up? She'd been practically making herself crazy all day for this stupid date with him and he just didn't show up? He was even more of an ass then he originally thought.

"I mean just that. He didn't show up." She sighed.

"Did he call?" He could feel himself getting annoyed. If he was just going to blow her off, why would he make a big deal out of this crap all week long?

"Nope. I called, and I got voice mail. I'm not calling again."

He frowned. "Do you want me to come over?"

"No, no. Get what your grandma needs. I just needed to call and vent."

He walked over to the registers, looking around for the shortest line. He walked past a woman who had nearly 1,000 things in her cart, he was sure. He finally reached the express line. "I'll just drop the milk off and I'll come over." He offered.

"You really don't have to."

"Do you not want me to?" He hadn't thought of that. Maybe that was it. He hoped that wasn't it.

"No, of course I do. But if you have plans already, don't break them for me."

Was she kidding? What plans would he possibly have?

"I'll be there soon."

"My knight in shining armor." She teased, laughing.

He smiled. He liked the sound of that.

"See you in a few." He told her before hanging up.

He walked quickly to his car. He wanted to get home fast so he could go to her house. He didn't want her sitting there feeling sorry for herself, and he was sure that was exactly what she was doing.

Turning onto the street, he sped in the direction of his house. He was halfway there when something on the side of the road caught his eye. He was still far away from it so he couldn't tell what it was. He could tell it was a car, but he couldn't see if there was anyone around it.

As he got closer, he could see the silhouette of a person leaning under the hood of the car. He realized then that their car must have broken down. He thought about it for a second before deciding to pull over to help the person.

As he got out, he walked over slowly, trying not to frighten whoever it was.

"Excuse me. Do you need help?" He called. He watched as the person turned toward him and he groaned. This couldn't be happening. His eyes must be playing tricks on him.

"Julian?"

"Lucas?"

~*~

She was beyond angry. Not only had Lucas just completely bailed on her, it seemed as though Julian was following in his footsteps. What was even more unnerving was that it wasn't like Julian to do this. Granted, Lucas didn't normally leave her hanging, it just seemed to make her more angry that Julian had done it as well.

"I don't even know why I'm wasting my time on guys." She muttered under her breath, walking over to grab her cell phone again. This time she was going to call Haley or Peyton. She was in serious need of a girls night, since it was clear that guys sucked at the moment.

"Hey Tigger! What's up?"

She smiled when she heard Haley answer her phone. If there was anyone in her life that wouldn't let her down she knew it was Haley. She thought Julian was that person up until about 25 minutes ago. Now it was just Haley. And Peyton, too.

"Tutor girl, I'm depressed," She pouted, though she knew Haley couldn't see her. "Lucas is over an hour late. I give up. Come hang out and bring lots of ice cream!" She perked up at that.

Haley laughed. "Have you talked to him?"

"No! I don't like him right now. Call Peyton and lets do something tonight. I give up on boys." She sighed.

"Ok, I'll call her. I'll see you in a little bit."

"Ok." Brooke hung up, setting her phone down next to her on the couch. If Haley blew her off, she was going to loose her mind. That would be the third person in one night.

"Third time is _not_ the charm."

~*~

He groaned. Why? Why did he have to stop? Seriously, someone was punishing him.

"What happened?" He found himself asking. He really just wanted to run back to his car and drive away. He wanted to pretend like he didn't see Lucas on the side of the road. He wanted to just go to his house, give his grandmother the milk she wanted, and go to Brooke's. But that clearly wasn't going to happen.

"My car broke down," Lucas paused, gesturing toward his car. "And I left my phone at home." That was going to be Julian's next question.

Julian looked over to the car. He could tell that he'd been trying to play around with stuff under the hood, because it was propped up. He looked back toward his car, contemplating making a run for it, but knowing that he couldn't do that. As strong as the desire may be, he knew he was stuck now.

"Do you need a jump?"

Lucas stared at him for a moment. Probably trying to figure out if he meant what he was offering, Julian assumed. He would have done the same, had the situation been reversed. There was no way he'd ever imagine Lucas stopping to help him, no matter what the situatio was.

He really needed to stop this good guy stuff. He was beginning to really annoy himself.

"Uh.. Yeah. Thanks." He walked toward his car but Julian stopped him.

"Here man. Call Brooke." He reached into his pocket, offering him his cell phone.

A large part of him wanted to be selfish and let Brooke continue being angry with Lucas, but he knew that the more sensible part of him wanted her to be happy. She was sitting at home, annoyed and upset because Lucas blew her off, and much to his dismay, the guy had a good excuse.

"How do you know?" Lucas asked, staring at him suspiciously. He hadn't mentioned anything about Brooke since Julian had shown up.

_Crap_, he panicked. But he quickly recovered. Both Lucas and Brooke had been talking about their big date all week long in lunch nonstop. He'd witnessed that conversation way too many times. Far more then he cared for.

"You guys have been talking about tonight all week." He shrugged, hoping that his expression remained neutral.

Lucas stared at him for a long moment before shrugging. He seemed to buy that.

"Thanks." He reached out, taking Julian's phone before dialing the familiar number.

_That was close_, Julian thought to himself.

He watched as Lucas dialed her number, wondering if he'd notice that Brooke's name was already programmed into his phone. He hoped he just assumed he'd had it before all the drama with Peyton. When he placed the phone to his ear, he realized he wasn't going to say anything about it. Maybe he hadn't noticed.

"Huh?" Lucas said into the phone and he wondered how Brooke must have answered the call. He wished he'd warned her before just handing him his phone.

"Babe, I'm so sorry. My car broke down." He paused.

"Ya. Julian saw me on the side of the road. He saw my car." He stopped again, and Julian could almost hear Brooke's voice from five feet away from him.

"Yes, that's why I'm using his phone." He broke off, obviously listening to her talk.

"I'm really sorry. I know you were looking forward to this." He sighed.

"I left my phone at home, babe. I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you, I promise," He nodded, though he knew Brooke couldn't see him. "Yes, I promise."

"Ok. Have fun. I love you. Alright, bye." He ended the call before handing the phone back to Julian. "Thanks, man. I appreciate it."

Julian shrugged. "Don't mention it," And he meant that literally.

"Let's get this over with."

~*~

"You better have a good excuse, mister." She mumbled to herself before picking up Julian's call. "Where the hell are you?"

"Huh?" She froze. That wasn't Julian's voice.

"Lucas?"

"Babe, I'm so sorry. My car broke down." He spoke quickly.

"This is Julian's number?" She could feel her heart beginning to pound in her chest. Lucas and Julian were together? This wasn't good.

"Ya, I left my phone at home." He explained.

Her head was spinning. She couldn't believe that Lucas had called her from Julian's phone. She thanked God quickly that she hadn't answered with anything that would have gotten them in trouble. Not that she had anything to really say. Well, maybe she did.

She shook her head. She could have that internal battle later, when Lucas wasn't standing in front of Julian, talking on his cell phone.

"He stopped to help." He added when she didn't say anything.

She felt her heart warm at that. Julian had stopped to help Lucas? The same Lucas who'd done nothing but taunt him for the past couple of months and be rude? She smiled. She was so proud of him.

"Oh, that's why." She finally said.

"Yes, that's why I'm using his phone."

"Lucas, I've been waiting for you all night!" She exclaimed. While she was happy that he was ok, she wasn't going to let it go that easily.

"I'm really sorry. I know you were looking forward to this." He sighed.

"I've been sitting here waiting for you for an hour! I've been worried sick."

"I know and I'm sorry. I told you I left my phone at home, babe. I'm sorry. I'll make this up to you, I promise."

She stayed silent for a moment. She was still angry with him, she was more worried then anything. It wasn't like Lucas to just not call her.

"You promise?" She repeated, sighing. She knew that she had no reason to be angry with him. It was obvious to her that he hadn't done this on purpose. She felt bad for thinking he would, in the first place.

"Yes, I promise."

"Ok... Well Haley and Peyton are on their way over. So we'll do something tomorrow."

"Ok. Have fun. I love you." He told her, sincerely.

She closed her eyes, feeling the rest of her anger slipping away. "I love you too, Lucas."

"Alright, bye."

Slowly, she brought her phone down, staring at Julian's name. She couldn't help being a little worried that Lucas and Julian were alone together.

She didn't get another chance to worry before her door bell rang. She stood up, running toward her front door.

"Tutor Girl! P. Sawyer! Finally someone who isn't ditching me!"

~*~

"You didn't have to do this, you know?"

Julian looked up to see Lucas standing over him. They'd just tried to jump Lucas' car, but it wasn't working so they were waiting a few minutes before trying again.

He shrugged. "I know."

"So why did you?" He didn't understand. He'd like to be able to say that if the situation was reversed, he would have done the same thing for Julian, but he couldn't. He knew that he would have kept going, and the thought made him feel like crap.

"I have my reasons." Julian muttered under his breath. He couldn't tell if Lucas heard him or not, and at this point it didn't matter either way. He did this for Brooke. She didn't deserve to sit at home all night wondering why he'd blown her off. He wished that it could have just been because Lucas was an idiot, but unfortunately for him, that wasn't the case.

Lucas stared at him for a minute before shrugging. He obviously wasn't going to get a straight answer. He wasn't sure why he was even trying to start a conversation.

"Look, let's just try this one more time, and if it doesn't work I'll call my uncle to get it towed."

He didn't say anything as he got up to follow Lucas back toward the cars. There was a moment when both boys thought it was going to work, but it was as unsuccessful as the first try.

"I'll call Keith. You can go ahead if you want."

"With what phone?" Julian questioned.

Lucas hesitated. He obviously hadn't thought of that.

Julian sighed in frustration. This night was obviously never going to end. "Here man." He reached in his pocket, holding his phone out for him.

"Thanks." He mumbled, dialing Keith's number. "He's on his way. You don't have to wait." He told him after he got off the phone. He handed his phone back to him.

"I'm not going to leave you here, man. I'll wait til Keith gets here." Julian walked back over toward the curb, sitting down.

"Why?" Lucas asked after a couple of seconds. Julian looked up at him confused.

"Why what? Why am I being nice? Because I'm not always a jerk. I know its a foreign concept for you, you should try it sometime." He replied, beginning to get annoyed.

He was surprised when Lucas was quiet for a few minutes. He didn't know what was up with his sudden urge to play 20 questions with him, but it was really starting to get on his nerves. He was just praying he'd leave him alone until Keith got there.

His prayer fell on deaf ears apparently.

"Why'd you do it?"

Julian looked over at him. "Do what?" He couldn't wait. What could he have possibly done to piss off Lucas now?

"Why'd you just dump her?"

"What's it to you?" Julian shot back. His patience was really beginning to deteriorate.

"I just wanna know, man. You just left her high and dry. It was pretty messed up."

Julian rolled his eyes, turning away from him. He didn't want to have this conversation. "Whatever you're thinking. It's not true."

When he heard Lucas laugh, he turned to look at him curiously. "What?"

"You don't know what I'm thinking."

Julian shrugged. "You're right. I just know it's not true."

"I knew you weren't going to tell me. It's probably exactly what I'm thinking."

"You know what, man.. I really couldn't care less about what you're thinking. It's none of your business. So why don't you just butt out?" Julian stood up, turning to face him angrily.

Lucas took a step toward him, the look on his face told Julian he was just as angry.

"You have a lot of nerve-" Lucas started but was cut off by a tow truck pulling up next to them.

"Hey boys." Keith called from inside the truck. He gave them a questioning look, obviously able to sense the tension between them.

"Perfect." Julian muttered, turning away from Lucas. He gave Keith a strained smile before turning toward his car and climbing inside.

Their bonding time was officially over.

~*~

"So what's going on with you and Jake, ?" Brooke questioned, sending her a knowing look. She'd been seeing how close they were getting over the past few weeks. It was obvious that Jake had a thing for her friend, but she wasn't sure how Peyton felt in return.

Peyton blushed at the mention of his name, causing Haley and Brooke to giggle. "Nothing!" She insisted, but the denial was left on deaf ears. She knew her rosy cheeks were telling them a different story.

"Ya right! Come on, Peyton. We all have eyes." Haley smirked at her. She'd been wondering about the two of them also, but knew it wasn't a good idea to bring it up. She could always count on Brooke to say the things she didn't.

"Ya, Goldilocks. Jagielski is totally smitten." Brooke gushed, smiling widely.

"No way." Peyton denied. She knew she'd been spending a lot of time with Jake lately, but it was only recently that she considered him in a new light.

Brooke scoffed. "Whatever, Peyt. He's cute. If I didn't have Lucas..." She trailed off, winking at her. She laughed when Peyton threw a pillow at her.

"I don't know guys..." Peyton said, suddenly becoming serious. "This whole Julian thing... I don't know what to do." She sighed, looking down.

Brooke felt her stomach drop at the mention of his name, but quickly composed herself. She didn't need either one of them asking questions that she didn't have answers to.

"What about him?" Haley questioned, softly. This was the first time in a long time that Peyton had mentioned anything about Julian. She was surprised that she didn't say anything earlier in the week, with him hanging out during lunch each day.

"I don't know!" Peyton exclaimed. "I was fine. I was. And then when we saw him at Karen's.. I just.. I wanted him to be around. I miss him, guys." She looked at both of them, frowning. She'd been holding this in for so long now, she needed to talk to someone. And who better than her best friends?

Brooke stared at her, unable to say anything. Her heart was pounding so hard in her chest, she was worried that it was going to pound right out of her chest.

"Maybe you should talk to him?" Haley suggested. Both Brooke and Peyton turned to look at her. She shrugged. "It couldn't hurt. I'm sure he misses you too, Peyt."

Peyton nodded slowly. She wanted to talk to him, but truth was, she was terrified. She was afraid of what he would say to her. Would he want to talk to her? Would he want to hear what she had to say? She frowned. She didn't know the answer to either.

"Right, Brooke?" Haley turned to look at her, silently asking her for her encouragement.

Brooke froze, watching Peyton turn to look at her as well. She'd been silent since Julian's name had been mentioned.

She cleared her throat. "Uh... ya." She was thankful that her voice sounded normal. She forced a smile on her face, hoping it was convincing.

Peyton nodded. "Maybe I'll talk to him tomorrow at the parade. Is he coming?" She questioned. Tomorrow night was the annual Thanksgiving parade that was held every year the Saturday before Thanksgiving day. It was a traditional for everyone and their families to go. It was one of the reasons why everyone looked forward to Thanksgiving each year. Everyone always had a lot of fun. That and because they knew Christmas was always a month away.

"I'm sure he will be," Haley assured her, reaching out to hold one of her hands. "Don't worry."

"Ya, Peyton. Everything's going to be ok." Brooke smiled, scooting over to wrap her arms around her. When she was sure neither one of them could see her face she let the small fall from her face. She had this overwhelming feeling washing over her that she couldn't get rid of. She wasn't sure what it was. She wasn't sure of anything at that moment. She just knew one thing.

She wasn't looking forward to tomorrow.

~*~

He stared at them from a distance, wanting nothing more than to turn around and walk away. But he knew he couldn't do that. He'd already told Haley that he was coming when she'd randomly called him that afternoon. When he'd asked why she was asking, she'd been very vague and had all but hung up on him. Confusing.

Now as he stood there, watching them hug and kiss each other, he suddenly felt like his decision to come to the parade was a bad one. He'd been so angry with Lucas from the night before that he'd pretty much forced himself to not think about him. He wasn't going to sit up and think about how much he disliked that fool.

And to make matters worse, Peyton and Haley had slept over at Brooke's the night before, so he'd not only had to stay at his house for the night, but he'd barely spoken to her. He'd almost said screw it and called her anyway a few times, but he knew that wouldn't have been good. If Peyton had seen him calling Brooke... He didn't even want to think about what kind of conflicts that would cause.

He wished he'd given more thought to what he was agreeing to when Haley had called him. He should have known that they'd be there and that she would have forgiven him already. He should have known that they'd be all over each other, kissing each other and hugging and making him sick. He groaned. This was going to be a long night. A long annoying night.

"Are you going to stand there all night, or are you gonna walk over?" A voice questioned from behind him.

He turned in surprise to see Peyton standing there, staring at him expectantly. "Uh.. I was going to walk over." Julian answered, shrugging his shoulders.

She nodded, seeming to accept that. He stared at her for another moment, waiting for her to say something. He was surprised to see her talking to him.

"So listen.." She began, "I know this is awkward and all but I was thinking that maybe we should talk?" She asked, timidly. She couldn't remember a time that she was so afraid of what someone's response would be.

"Ok." Julian agreed, evenly. He knew they would have to talk sooner or later. Especially if he was going to start hanging out with everyone again.

"I think maybe... we should try being friends.." She trailed off.

"Friends..." He repeated, waiting for her to continue. She seemed to have something more to say. He had no idea where this conversation was headed, but friends he could do.

She nodded. "Yes, friends. I think that it's only fair to the both of us if we try to get past all of this. And.." She trailed off.

"And?" He asked, expectantly.

"And we were friends before all of this. I just think it would be silly to give that up." She finally admitted, looking down. She felt stupid for feeling so insecure but she couldn't help it. She'd been avoiding him for over a month, it felt weird standing her talking to him.

"I agree."

She looked up in surprise. "You do?" He nodded.

"I do." He responded. "I think that's a good idea." He smiled.

She smiled, also. "Great. So, friends?" She extended her hand to him.

He stared at her hand for a moment before reaching out to shake it. He was surprised when she took a step closer, wrapping her arms around him in a hug.

He hugged her back for a moment before pulling away from her. "I'm sorry." He told her, sincerely.

She nodded. "I know." She knew what he was referring to, but she didn't want to get into all of that. Not after they'd just agreed to try and be friends. She didn't want to ruin that.

"So how about we go watch a parade?" He suggested, offering her his arm.

She smiled, slipping her arm through his. "I'm sure Brooke is looking for me, anyway." He could tell by her tone of voice that she was joking. He smiled.

They turned back toward their friends, and when he looked up, he was surprised to see that she was right. Brooke was looking for Peyton. She was still standing with Lucas' arms around her, but the look in her eyes had his heart pounding in his chest. Even from the distance, he could see how upset she was. He wondered what had happened in the past few minutes that could cause her to go from smiling and laughing, to what he could only assume to be anger.

As they got closer, he was surprised to see Brooke's eyes were not directed toward Peyton. In fact, she didn't seem to notice Peyton next to him, at all.

She was staring directly at him. He swallowed the lump forming in the back of his throat as an uneasy feeling started to engulf him. She was looking him right in the eye.

When they were only a few feet away, she finally looked away from him. He stood a few feet away from them, hearing Peyton say something to him every now and then, but he wasn't listening. He couldn't hear anything around him. Not the loud sirens from the firetrucks, not the music from the marching bands, and not even the shouting coming from the cheerleadering squads as they all past. He couldn't concentrate on any of them.

He couldn't see any of them, not when she was around. And especially not when she was as upset as she was. He wanted to go to her and ask her what was wrong, but he knew he couldn't.

When she finally glanced over at him, he was already looking at her. Their eyes locked, and he could feel his heart start to thud in his chest.

It felt like everyone around them disappeared and it was only the two of them. It felt like their was an invisibly force, pulling them together but they couldn't move. They wouldn't.

He watched as Lucas tightened his hold around her, leaning down to kiss her forehead. She looked up to smile at him, but even from a few feet away he could see that the smile didn't reach her eyes. Not like when she smiled at him. His heart jumped when she looked back over to him, this time her eyes seemed to be asking him a silent question. And he knew what she was saying. He knew because he was asking himself the same thing.

_What's going on?_

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**Hope you enjoyed! Please review =)**


	9. Chapter 8

A/N- Oh my goshhhhh I'm SOOOOOOOOOO sorry guys! I know I disappeared for a while, but I had a lot going on. I work wayyy too much and by the time I get home sometimes, all I want to do is lay in my bed and not move LOL. Anyway, I hope you guys still have interest in this and haven't left me behind. I hope you enjoy this chapter because its the beginning of the rest of the story. It took me a long time to write it, because I wanted it to be just right for you guys. I'm not sure that it's perfect, but I'm really happy with it. Hopefully you guys are too :) I can't wait for OTH to come back next month, it feels like it's been forever, doesn't it? Sheesh. And I was really excited to hear about Season 7 but totally bummed to hear that CMM might not be coming back =( That's going to be so weird. That's like Brandon leaving Beverly Hills. WEIRD! Anywayy! LOL sorry for the rant. Again I'm sooo sorry for leaving you guys hanging for so long. I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors or anything, it's late and I worked all day, but I really wanted to get this out to you guys lol :) I hope you enjoy! Please review!! :)

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Disclaimer: I do not own OTH nor am I in any way affiliated with the cast. :)

**Chapter 8**

December 19,2005

"I can't believe there's only 6 days until Christmas," Haley sighed. "I still have so much stuff to get." It wasn't like her to complain about a holiday. Especially since Christmas was her favorite. Building snowmen, drinking hot chocolate, sitting by the fire, that was all so much fun. Shopping for everyone, however, was not.

Brooke nodded from across the table. "I know," It felt like the past month had flown by. "But I'm so excited for tonight!" She squealed happily. She was having a Christmas party at her house later on and everyone was going to be there. It was going to be excellent.

"I'm not drinking tonight, Tigger. So don't even try." Haley gave her a pointed look, bringing her coffee cup up to her mouth to take a long sip.

Brooke gasped, feigning innocence. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Haley rolled her eyes causing Brooke to giggle. She knew exactly what she was talking about. Every time Brooke had a party, she always wound up drunk. Even though she'd originally gone to the party, planning to remain sober the entire time, it never ended that way. Brooke would always figure out a way to get her to drink. Whether it be during a game or just annoying her into it, Brooke always won.

"Where's Peyton?" Haley questioned, looking around. They were all supposed to meet up at Karen's at 1 o'clock that afternoon for lunch and then go shopping for outfits for the party that night. She looked down at her watch. It was almost 2:00. Her and Brooke had already been waiting for an hour now.

Brooke rolled her eyes. She knew where Peyton was. Ever since her and Julian had decided to work on being friends a couple of weeks before, they'd started to hang out. She knew she had no reason for it, but it really annoyed her when she knew they were together. It seemed like the more time they spent together, the less time she saw Julian. She would never admit it out loud but she missed him.

"Earth to Brooke!" Haley laughed, waving her hand in front of Brooke's face.

"Huh?" She looked at Haley and felt her cheeks burning. "Sorry."

Haley shook her head, laughing. "What's going on with you? You keep dazing out on me."

Brooke shrugged. It seemed like lately her head was constantly in the clouds.

"I'm-" She began but was cut off by Peyton plopping down next to her. She looked over, seeing the big smile on Peyton's face and fought the urge to roll her eyes. Whatever it was that had her friend so happy would no doubt rub her the wrong way. She felt bad, because she should be happy for her, but she couldn't help it. She barely saw Julian anymore. She didn't realize how much she looked forward to their time together until it started to become nonexistent.

"Sorry guys! I lost track of time."

_I bet you did,_ Brooke thought to herself looking down at her menu. She rolled her eyes.

"Did you guys order yet?" Peyton breathed, looking down at their coffee cups.

Haley shook her head. "No, we just ordered some coffee while we waited. You look happy." She observed, smiling.

Peyton shrugged. "Just having a good day." She told them, nonchalantly, but the smile on her face told them she thought otherwise.

"So?" Haley prodded, leaning forward onto the table eagerly. Whatever had Peyton so happy, she wanted to know.

"So?" Peyton repeated, biting back another smile. She knew what she was referring to, it was obvious. She knew that her friends were dying to know what was going on. But she saw no reason why should couldn't mess around with them, though.

"So what happened?" Haley questioned when she realized Peyton wasn't going to offer any information.

When she saw Peyton shrug again, Brooke rolled her eyes again. She knew she had no reason for it, but she was really getting annoyed with this entire story. Who cared what happened. She really didn't. If Peyton wanted to keep it to herself, she wasn't going to object. However, much to her dismay, Haley didn't agree.

"Nothing really. We just hung out," Peyton told them, pausing to smile in thanks to the waitress when she brought her a cup of coffee.

"That's it?"

Peyton nodded. "Yeah, but it was just like old times."

Brooke stared at her coffee cup, wishing she could tune out the conversation. She really didn't want to hear anymore. She'd been able to tune everything else out lately, but for some reason, she couldn't ignore her now. It was one thing to know that Peyton and Julian were spending time with each other, but to hear about it constantly was a whole other story. It got really annoying.

"Like old times?" Haley asked, raising an eyebrow.

Peyton shrugged. "It was just fun. Just like how we used to be before all the drama." She smiled. She couldn't put into words how happy she'd become lately. She had everything she wanted in that moment. Her friends, her health and Julian was back in her life. She knew that it wasn't the same. They weren't actually together, but she knew that this was a step in the right direction. When she'd suggested they'd try being friends again, she didn't realize it would be this easy to accomplish. But she certainly wasn't complaining.

"Well, what did you do?"

Brooke glanced over at Haley. Since when was Haley so annoyingly curious? She wished she would stop playing 20 questions, already. She didn't want to hear about it anymore.

"He cooked breakfast, and then we just hung up. Watched TV. Nothing exciting."

"So what's got you so happy, then?"

"Because, Hales..." Peyton began, placing her coffee cup down.

Brooke winced. She knew she wasn't going to like this.

"The feelings are still there. I can feel them. The way he looks at me. It's like nothing's changed. Maybe this was good for us. The break, I mean. Maybe that's exactly what we needed." Peyton shrugged. "Maybe now we can move on, and be together again."

Brooke sat there for a moment, watching as Haley continued on with her questioning. She stared at Peyton's smile for a second longer before she began to get angry. She wondered if Peyton knew about Julian's mother. If she knew about how many times he cried because he didn't know what to do. Would she care? Did she know that she was the one that Julian came to when he needed someone to just hug him and make him feel better? To make him forget about all the things in his life that he needed to escape from. She wondered how Peyton would feel to know that it was in her home that Julian felt the most comforted, where he knew he could be himself and hold nothing back. She wondered how Peyton would feel to know all of that, but she held it in.

"So what about Jake?" Brooke asked suddenly, cutting off Haley's question. It was immature, she knew but she couldn't stop herself. It was obvious that Peyton had been on the fence about Jake since day one. She wondered if she didn't even think about that now that Julian was back in her life.

"What about him?" Peyton questioned, caught off guard by the edge in Brooke's voice. It was the first time she spoke, and it seemed as though she was mad about something.

"So now that Julian's back, you're going to forget about Jake?" She asked. She knew that she had no reason to take her anger out on Peyton, but she couldn't help it. She knew that Peyton had no idea about anything going on, and that to her, this really was a good thing. But to Brooke, it wasn't. This wasn't what Julian needed. He needed friends. But what if this is what Julian wanted as well? The thought hadn't occurred to her until now. What if Julian wanted to get back together with Peyton? Maybe she did know everything.

"I'm not forgetting about anyone, Brooke. What's wrong with you?" Peyton asked, cautiously. She didn't know what she'd said to upset her, but she could tell that something had in fact angered her. She knew that Brooke and Julian never really became friends, but she'd never been so opposed to him in the past. Maybe it was because of how he'd treated her, that had to be it.

She sighed. "Nothing, Peyt. Sorry." She sent them both an apologetic smile. "How about we order? Maybe I'm just annoying because I'm hungry." She laughed a little, picking up her menu.

Peyton shrugged before smiling. "You and your food. Where do you put it all?" She teased, looking down at the menu.

Haley stared at Brooke for a moment, wondering what was going on with her. This had been going on now for weeks, Brooke getting annoyed at the slightest things, or barely paying attention to what was going on around her. It wasn't like her to be so to herself.

"What can I get you, ladies?" The waitress asked, interrupting Haley's thoughts. She shook her head, deciding to just let it go. If Brooke wanted to talk, she knew she'd come to her eventually. If there was one thing she knew about her friend, it was that she was never able to keep things in for very long. She'd hold things in for a certain amount of time before she couldn't take it anymore. But normally that would only last for a few days, maybe a week. This had been going on for almost a month, maybe even longer. There was no way to be sure. Every time she'd asked Brooke about it, she got the same response, that everything was fine and she just had some stuff on her mind. But looking at her face now, she knew that wasn't the truth.

This time was different.

~*~

"Knock, knock."

Brooke looked up from her book, surprised. She hadn't heard anyone come into the house. She smiled slightly when she saw Julian walking into her bedroom.

"Hi." She greeted, watching him sit down beside her on her bed. She could feel her heart pound in her chest when she saw the smile on his face. It had been so long since she'd seen him so happy. Maybe something had happened with his mom, she hoped. Or maybe it had something to do with Peyton? The thought left a bad taste in her mouth.

"Hi? That's all I get?" He placed his hand over his heart, feigning hurt. He smiled when she rolled her eyes. "Come here, pumpkin." He opened his arms wide, wrapping his arms around her tightly when she leaned over toward him. "How are you?" He mumbled into her hair, keeping his arms around her.

She smiled, leaning her head against his chest. "Good." She looked up at him, surprised to see him staring down at her. Her heart rate quickened when he smiled down at her and placed a kiss to her forehead. "What's got you so happy?" She asked.

"I have no idea, honestly." He chuckled, leaning back against her head board. He'd been in a good mood since he'd woken up that morning and it was a terrific feeling. He felt like he'd been down in the dumps way too often in the past several weeks. It was a nice change to wake up with a smile on his face.

He stared at her for a moment, silently appraising her in her mind. She looked gorgeous. She was wearing sweats, and her hair was up but she still managed to take his breath away. He shook his head after a few moments, hoping she didn't notice his gawking. He didn't know what was going on with himself, but it seemed like he was noticing small things about her more and more lately. The way her eyes lit up when she laughed about something, or her smile when she saw him. The way that her hair would fall in her face when she wore it up in a pony tail, he always wanted to reach out and tuck it behind her ears, wanting to see her face. He seemed to notice how her cheeks would burn a warm crimson at any compliment, big or small, or when something embarrassed her. How she'd chew the inside of her mouth when she was concentrating or tap her pen on her books or the desk whenever she was bored. He felt like such a pansy noticing these things, but he couldn't help it. She fascinated him.

"You sure it has nothing to do with Peyton?" She tried to make her voice teasing, but instead it just sounded sad. She looked down, not wanting to see his reaction. If it was in fact because of her, she knew it would just annoy her. She didn't even know why she brought it up. She knew she should have just left it alone, but she couldn't help but ask. He'd been with her so much lately, it wouldn't surprise her if she was, in fact, the reason for his sudden happiness.

He frowned for a second, watching her look away from him. He didn't understand what was going on lately. Not only had he been noticing all the physical things about her, he'd noticed her sudden mood changes toward him. Hanging out with Peyton was something that he wasn't expecting to ever happen again, but he was glad that it did. It was refreshing to have all of his friends in his life again. Since they'd started spending more time together, he realized that he barely saw Brooke anymore. He knew that part of it was because he'd started talking to not only Peyton again, but the guys as well. He missed her, that much was obvious. It wasn't the same not being with her during the day or the nights that he didn't stay at her house. He also knew that she'd noticed as well, she was always making comments about how much time he was spending with Peyton. The way she always talked about it, he couldn't figure out how she felt about it. He knew it annoyed her, but he didn't understand why. If anything, he thought that she would be happy that he and Peyton had patched things up. Now they could be friends and not have to worry about people questioning it as much.

"What does that mean?" He questioned, sitting up to look at her closer. The tone of her voice confused him. It almost sounded like she was upset by something, but it couldn't be because of him and Peyton, could it? He shook his head. That couldn't be the reason.

She shrugged, but kept her eyes cast down. She didn't want to look up at him. She felt like an idiot for even bringing Peyton up. Julian was his own person. He was entitled to spend time with whoever he wanted. He didn't have to answer to her, or to anyone for that matter. It was none of her business if he wanted to spend time with Peyton or if she was the cause of his sudden mood change. She knew she sounded like a jealous girlfriend, but she wasn't jealous. Was she? No. She couldn't be. Julian wasn't her boyfriend. Lucas was. So why did it bother her so much when Julian spent time with other girls, but not Lucas? It didn't make any sense.

"Brooke?" His voice broke her out of her thoughts, causing her to look up at him. She felt her cheeks burn in embarrassment before looking away again. She really needed to stop dazing out on people. Everyone was going to start to think that she was crazy.

"Hey." He spoke softly, reaching out to lift her chin with his finger gently. When she was finally looking at him, he was looking at her concerned. He could tell that she was trying to make it seem like she was kidding about Peyton, but he could tell by the look in her eyes that it bothered her. But he couldn't figure out why. "What's wrong?"

She sighed, moving her face to look away again but he reached out to take her hands in his, stopping her.

"Stop that, look at me." He urged, scooting closer to her. "Talk to me. What's going on?"

"I don't know." She answered, truthfully. She felt like she knew nothing lately. Nothing was clear. It was like her mind was a fog of thoughts and she couldn't see clearly through any of them. On one hand, she was thrilled that Julian had his friends back in his life. She could tell how much it affected him when no one was speaking to him. But a larger part of her, the selfish part, was upset that they never spent time together anymore. And that was the part that confused her the most. Julian hanging out with everyone gave her more time to hang out with Haley, Peyton and Lucas.

"Well, what's bothering you?" He asked, concerned.

She stared at him, desperately trying to figure out how to answer him. She wanted to be honest with him, but she also knew how it would seem if she told him the truth. It would seem like she was jealous, and that wasn't the case. Was it? She groaned. She was so confused.

"I just hate-" She paused, not knowing if she should continue.

"Hate what?" He asked after a few seconds of silence. He wanted her to be honest with him, and it hurt him that it was obviously very difficult for her to do that. He always told her what he was thinking, well almost always. He could never tell her the thoughts he'd been having lately. He felt like such a fool, like he had a school girl crush on her or something. He wanted to laugh. A crush on Brooke? She was just his friend. Right? It didn't seem like he was sure of that anymore.

"I hate that we never see each other anymore." She finally admitted, feeling her face flush. She hated being vulnerable, and that was exactly how she felt. She never liked putting herself out there, but she knew that she couldn't lie to him either.

He could feel his pulse quicken as he stared at her for a few seconds. He shook his head, trying to ignore it but he knew he couldn't. His heart never listened to him when he was around her.

"We see each other..." He replied, but he knew it wasn't what she meant. She knew they saw each other in school but she wasn't referring to that.

"It's not the same." She told him, turning to face him.

He was about to tell her that he knew and he was sorry but he was cut off by her cell phone ringing.

She frowned, leaning over to grab it off her night stand. "It's Lucas." She mumbled, staring at it for a minute.

"Are you gonna answer it?" He asked after a second. If she waited any longer, she was going to miss the call.

"Oh. Yeah.." She paused, flipping her phone open. "Hello? Hey babe. Yeah, I'm home.. No they're gonna come over at 8:30 to help set up. What time is it? Oh crap. Ok, well ya. Ya, come over at like 9. Alright. See you later. Love you too. Bye." She stood up, placing the phone down on her desk. She turned toward him. "Haley and Peyton will be here in 5 minutes."

He sighed, standing up. He stared at her for a second before frowning. Something didn't feel right between them, but he couldn't put his finger on it. "Are we ok?" He asked softly.

She nodded, forcing a smile on her face. "Ya. We're good." She hoped she was being convincing but the look on his face told her he didn't buy it.

She was thankful when he finally nodded. If he noticed how unsure she was of her answer, he didn't show it.

"Ok..." He sighed, leaning down to put his shoes on. "I'll see you around 9:30?" He asked, standing up straight. He leaned over to grab his car keys and turned toward her.

"Ya, everyone will be here around then." She wanted to tell him to just stay, but they both knew that couldn't happen. They were cutting it close as it was. If Peyton or Haley were to come over right now and see Julian at her house, she didn't even want to think about what they'd think. She'd have nothing to say... No excuse.

He nodded, taking a step closer to her. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest as he leaned in and wrapped his arms around her. It took her a moment before she wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him closely.

He held her close to him for a long moment, burying his head in the crook of her neck and inhaled deeply. He loved the way she smelled. She always smelled of strawberries and something else sweet. "You smell good." He murmured in her ear, causing her to giggle.

"Thanks." She laughed, laying her head on his shoulder. She was thankful for the distraction. It only lasted a second before she was thinking about how it felt to be in his arms. She always felt so safe when he was hugging her.. Like nothing could touch them. And every time she felt it, she was terrified. That feeling always caught her off guard because he was the first person she ever felt that way about. He was the only one who could make her feel so comfortable, but so scared at the same time.

"Alright," He sighed, pulling away from her. He looked down at her for a second before taking a step back. "I guess I'll see you later."

She stared at him for a second before nodding. The way he was looking at her had her whole body tingling. She didn't trust her voice to speak.

He nodded, walking out of her room and down the stairs. He could hear her following him but he didn't turn around until he reached her front door. "Text me or something if you get bored," He offered, pulling the door open.

She nodded, forcing a smile on her face. She was grateful that he didn't turn to look at her until he was already near his car. There was no way he could see how flustered she was from where he was standing.

"Bye." He called, sending her a smile before he got into his car. It was a few seconds later that his car was out of sight that she finally walked back into her house. She closed the door behind her before leaning her back against the cool metal. Her body felt like jello, and she didn't know why. One minute she was fine, and the next he was standing close to her and all of her muscles went to mush.

She closed her eyes, leaning her head back on the door and took a few deep steady breaths.

This wasn't good.

~*~

"Knock, knock." Haley announced, walking into Brooke's house. She was surprised to see all of the lights off. She expected Brooke to be running around trying to make everything perfect, but the brunette was no where in sight. "Brooke?" She called, looking around.

"Up here!" A voice called from upstairs causing Haley to look up in surprise.

"Why are all the lights off?" She questioned, walking toward the voice. When she got to the top of the stair case she saw a light coming from down the hall. She walked over to the bathroom and saw Brooke leaning over the sink staring intently into the mirror, applying make up.

"I haven't been down there since the sun went down," Brooke shrugged. She looked over at Haley and nodded in approval. " Why is everyone greeting me the same way tonight?" She asked quietly. When Haley stared at her curiously for a second she quickly changed the subject. "You look hott, tutor girl." She smiled before turning toward the mirror. She needed to look perfect tonight. She needed tonight to be perfect.

She hadn't been able to shake the funny feeling since Julian had left 30 minutes before, and it was beginning to really annoy her. It wasn't like her to get so frazzled over something so small. But was it really something small? Or was it something big? Something so big that she had no idea how she'd been ignoring it for so long. She'd been trying to convince herself since he'd left that this was all in her head. That she was making something out of nothing, but she was having no luck. She couldn't wait until everyone got to her house. Then she would feel better, she was sure of it. Lucas would be there to distract her and if that didn't work, she'd get drunk. That always seemed to make her feel better. Until it made her sick, then it wasn't fun anymore.

"Why thank you." Haley chuckled, sitting down on the sink next to Brooke. "That color is pretty." She complimented, watching Brooke apply the light green eyeshadow to her skin.

"MAC is the greatest invention on earth." She responded, smiling. She was already beginning to feel a little better. All she needed was something to distract her.

She made a mental note to make sure that she had someone around her for the rest of the night. She didn't want to think of anything anymore tonight. She just wanted to kick back and have a good time with her friends.

"I thought you said heals were the best invention on earth." Haley teased.

Brooke paused, seeming to think that over. "Ok, maybe MAC is the second greatest invention." She finally concluded, giggling.

Haley laughed with her, leaning her back against the mirror. "Where's ?" She asked after a few minutes.

Brooke shrugged, "I have no idea." _Probably with Julian_, she wanted to say but she stopped herself. She knew she wasn't with him but it was still aggravating to think about it. She shook her head. She was beginning to do it to herself now. When Peyton hadn't shown up with Haley, it had been the first thought to cross her mind, but shew wasn't going to tell Haley that.

"Maybe with Julian?" Haley asked, as if reading her mind.

Brooke fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Maybe." She replied, uninterested. If they were together already, she didn't care. She didn't. Honest.

"Every thing's set up. I just need to put the food out, but we can wait until every one is about to get here. The lights and everything are up, I just need to go down and turn everything on." Brooke explained, not wanting to talk about Peyton. It was bad enough that she couldn't stop thinking about it. She didn't need to talk to all of her friends about it, also.

"Great." She followed Brooke out of her bathroom to her bedroom.

"Where are you guys? And why is it so dark?!" They heard Peyton exclaim followed by a door slamming.

Haley and Brooke laughed, shaking their heads. "We're up here, Peyt." Haley called, laying down on Brooke's bed. She watched as Brooke walked over to her closet, looking for something to change into.

"Do you live in a cave?" Peyton asked, walking into the bedroom. She dropped her purse on Brooke's desk before plopping down next to Haley.

"Yeah, if she puts the lights on, she melt." Haley teased.

Brooke giggled, turning toward them suddenly. "Or sparkle." She said seriously before laughing again.

"Mmm.. I love Edward." Peyton responded, placing her hand over her heart, pretending to swoon.

"Don't we all." Brooke muttered, walking toward her bathroom to change into the outfit she'd just picked out.

"What time is everyone coming over?" Peyton asked, looking toward Brooke's alarm clock. It was getting close to 9 o'clock. She looked down at her clothes, pulling on the edge of her skirt.

"I think Nathan and Luke and everyone will be here around 9ish, but everyone else that I invited will probably start pouring in at like 10:00."

Peyton nodded, looking down at her outfit. It had taken her over an hour to decide on what to wear tonight, and that was unusual for her. She normally just picked out the first thing she saw, made sure it matched and put it on. Whatever was comfortable, is what she always thought. But tonight was different. Tonight was going to be important.

"What's the matter with you?" Brooke asked, watching Peyton fidget with her skirt. "That's like the third time in 5 minutes that you've played around with your clothes."

Peyton shrugged, smiling uneasily. "I just want to make sure I look alright."

Brooke looked at her, surprised. Since when did Peyton care about what she looked like?

"Why?" Haley asked, curiously. She had the same thoughts running through her head as Brooke. It wasn't like Peyton to care about her appearance. It wasn't like she normally dressed bad or anything, but it was weird to see her care about an outfit.

Peyton laughed nervously for a second before taking a deep breath. "Well.." She began.

Brooke froze for a second, turning to face her friends. She didn't like the sound of that. The way Peyton had laughed, it gave her an uneasy feeling. She knew she wasn't going to like whatever was about to come out of Peyton's mouth.

"I'm going to talk to him tonight." Peyton finally admitted, looking at her friends for their reactions. It was obvious to them that this was big news to her, but neither of them understood it.

"Talk to who?" Brooke asked, confused. She was assuming she meant Julian, but she was already talking to him. She was making it seem like she was going to talk to someone for the first time.

"Julian." She answered, smiling slightly.

"You're going to talk to Julian tonight?" Haley questioned, looking over to Brooke. They shared a look before looking at Peyton again. Neither of them knew what she was talking about.

"About getting back together." Peyton clarified, laughing again. This time it sounded almost like she was laughing from excitement.

"Wow..." Haley finally said after a few seconds. "That's great." She told her, leaning over to hug her tightly. She looked over at Brooke and saw that she was still surprised by Peyton's news. "Isn't that great, Brooke?" She asked, giving her a pointed look.

Brooke cleared her throat before sitting down next to Peyton. "Ya!" She replied with enthusiasm, but it was obvious that it was fake. She hoped that they didn't notice.

Peyton smiled, looking over at the clock again. "Ya, it is great." She smiled.

"Honey, I'm home!" Lucas called from downstairs after a second, causing the girls to turn in surprise.

"We'll be right down!" Brooke yelled back, standing up to walk toward the door. She was thankful for the distraction. She didn't want to hear about anymore. She didn't even want to be around when they had that talk. She knew that if that were to happen, they'd really never spend any time together. But maybe that was for the best. Maybe that was what he wanted. Maybe that was what she needed. Maybe then all of these unwanted thoughts would disappear from her mind. If that were at all possible.

"Please don't say anything though, I don't want him to hear it from anyone but me." Peyton whispered in a hurry, standing up to follow Brooke.

Brooke nodded. "Don't worry... You're secret is safe with me."

~*~

"Great party, Brooke!"

She glanced over to see a girl dancing with one of the boys from the basketball team waving toward her eagerly. She smiled politely, nodding her head before walking toward the back of the house. She realized she didn't know the girls name and immediately felt guilty. Everything was making her feel bad tonight. First, the pizza came with the wrong toppings, then someone was pouring liquor into her pool, and just a few minutes before someone knocked over one of her mother's crystal statues. Not that she really cared about her mother's belongings, it was more like everything was annoying her in general. And to top it all off, every time she saw Julian, he was laughing or smiling at Peyton. How freaking sweet. She was now in search of Lucas, he'd make her feel better. But he'd been missing in action for over a half hour now.

"Come on! What are you doing!!" She heard someone shout from a room down the hall. Curiously, she walked over and pushed the door open. She shook her head when she saw Lucas, Jake and Nathan sitting in front of the large screen TV. She'd forgotten that there was some basketball on tonight, she should have known they'd escape to watch it.

"Having fun?" She asked when it was obvious they weren't going to notice her presence. She laughed when all three of them looked up with a guilty look on their faces.

"Come on, babe. Watch the game with us." Lucas smiled, opening his arms to her.

She rolled her eyes before walking over to him. It was better than watching Julian and Peyton laugh and giggle at each other for another second. Besides, she missed Lucas. Sitting with him now would make everything else go away.

He smiled at her when she sat down between his legs, leaning her back against his chest. "I missed you," He whispered in her ear, kissing her head softly.

She smiled and looked up at him. What was she thinking, worrying about Peyton and Julian? She had something so great, right in front of her and she couldn't get her mind off of her best friend. "I missed you, too." She leaned up, kissing his lips softly before laying her head back on his shoulder.

"I missed you too, Brooke." Jake laughed, punching Lucas in the arm. "You guys are just so darn cute." He grinned widely, winking at Brooke before turning his attention back to the television.

"Not as cute as you and Peyton." Brooke joked back, sticking her tongue out at him. She watched as he looked over at her and smiled tightly. She could tell by the look on his face that she'd struck a chord. Great, something else to feel bad over.

"Hey babe?" Brooke asked softly, leaning her head back to look at him. He glanced down, smiling at her before looking back toward the screen.

"Hmmm?"

"Can you go grab me a drink?" She asked, sweetly.

"Sure." He kissed her head, patting her leg so she stood up. When she did, he got up and walked toward the door.

"Oh, Nate.. I think Haley wanted you before." She told him quickly.

It was a few seconds later that Brooke and Jake were alone that she turned toward him suddenly. He laughed, shaking his head.

"Nice work," He appraised. He knew what she was doing as soon as she asked Lucas to leave the room, but he wasn't going to object. He had no one to talk to about this. It wasn't like he could talk to Nathan or to Lucas, they'd just tell him to grow a pair and talk to her about it. But he knew Brooke would understand.

"What's going on?"

He sighed before turning toward her. "I just don't get it. I've been obvious to her from day one and for a while, I think she was feeling it. But then all of a sudden, he's back. And now, I'm invisible again."

She frowned watching him lean his head back against the couch cushions. "You're not invisible, Jake. You never were." She assured him.

He rolled his eyes. "To her I am! As soon as he walks into a room, he's all she sees." He complained, running his hands over his face.

She paused for a second, thinking about what she could say. She didn't want to give him false hope, but she felt bad that he was hurting. She could tell that he'd been holding this in for a long time now. "Talk to her."

He laughed, catching her off guard. She didn't know that he thought any of this to be funny. "And say what to her? She already told me how she feels about him."

"Ya, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have feelings for you, Jake. Maybe she doesn't know how you feel." She laughed when he gave her an incredulous look. "I'm serious. People aren't mind readers. Some times you have to spell things out."

He shrugged, looking back toward the TV but she could tell he wasn't interested in the game anymore.

"Everything will be fine. And if Peyton doesn't realize what a lucky girl she is, there will be another girl who will." She smiled, reaching over to squeeze his hand reassuringly.

He smiled over at her. "Thanks, Brooke."

"Anytime. Dr. Davis is available at any time of the day, but I may have to start charging." She winked at him before standing up. "Come on, Jagielski. This is a party. Let's go have some fun."

He laughed before standing up and following her to the door. It was a few seconds before they were walking into Brooke's living room, seeing the party in full swing. He was impressed at how many people her house could fit. It seemed like the entire senior class was there.

She looked around for Lucas before her eyes settled on a couple dancing in the far corner of the room. She could feel her stomach drop at the sight of them. It looked like they were the perfect couple, and nothing had changed the way they swayed back and forth with each other. She rolled her eyes before turning toward Jake, hoping he didn't see the pair. When she saw the look on his face, she realized that he had.

"Jake-" She began but he cut her off.

He reached over and grabbed a cup out of Tim's hand before downing the drink and slamming it back down onto the table next to him. He laughed bitterly before shaking his head.

"Ya... Some fun."

~*~

"There you are,"

She rolled her eyes when she heard his voice but didn't bother turning around. She figured he would come talk to her eventually, whenever he was able to tear himself away from Peyton.

"Here I am." She replied unenthusiastically, raising her half empty glass toward him. She looked around, making sure none of their friends were in sight. She'd come out onto her back porch about twenty minutes before, in desperate need to get some fresh air. It was getting a little too crowded for her liking inside the house, she needed to escape. She'd been relieved when she realized no one else was out there. She didn't need anyone asking her what was wrong or making small talk. She had no patience for either one. But she knew he'd come find her eventually. It looked like he'd been looking for her right before she came outside, but she didn't care. She wanted to be alone. She needed to sort through her thoughts, the mess that they were.

"Brooke..." The way he said her name sent shivers down her spine, but she blamed it on the cool night air. It was almost Christmas, about 20 minutes away, she assumed, and North Carolina always saw a white Christmas. She wrapped her coat around her tighter, looking up at the stars. She didn't want to look at him, she knew that would only make things worse. She was confused enough as it was, she didn't need it to be any harder.

"What's wrong?" He asked after a few minutes of silence. He'd been looking for her for almost 45 minutes before he finally found her out on her patio. It was pretty dark, the only light coming from the moon and the bright stars. But even in the darkness, he could tell something was on her mind. He'd barely seen her all night, Peyton had been occupying his time since just a few minutes after he'd gotten to the house. He didn't mind, he enjoyed spending time with her. He was glad that they were able to stay friends, he'd forgotten how easy it was. But he'd come for Brooke, and she'd been the only one of their friends that he'd barely seen. He was worried about her after their conversation from earlier in the day, wondering if she was thinking about the same things he was, but he knew somewhere in his mind that even if she was, it wasn't to the same extent as him.

Brooke turned to look at him, and the look in her eyes had his heart slamming against his chest. She had so many emotions shining in her eyes, it was hard for him to tell which one was directed at him. He could tell she was aggravated by the slight scowl on her face, and the sadness in her eyes made him want to reach out and hug her, but he held back. He didn't need anyone coming out and seeing them like that. It was bad enough that they were out here alone as it was, that would only add fuel to the fire. She was about to respond to him, but the glass door sliding open made her snap her mouth shut. She turned her back to the door and stared out into her backyard, not wanting anyone to see how upset she was.

"Hey guys." Peyton greeted, smiling at the two. Julian wondered for a moment if she could feel the tension between him and Brooke, but realized that if she had, she ignored it.

"Hey." Brooke turned toward her, a bright smile now on her face. He stared at her for a second, wondering what was wrong, but he shook his head. If she needed to talk, he hoped that she would come to him when the time was right. Talking now was not a good idea.

"Uh.. Julian, can we talk for a second?" Peyton asked, nervously.

Brooke stared at her for a second and realized that Peyton was about to talk to Julian about getting back together. She swallowed the lump forming in her throat before taking a step toward the door. "I'll just let you two talk." She walked past Peyton before turning to look at Julian, she wasn't surprised that he was already looking at her. She stared into his eyes for a moment, and she could see how concerned he was. She wished she could ease his worry, but knew that she couldn't. She hoped that Peyton could do that for him. She sighed before turning toward the house and walking inside.

She needed a drink, and she needed one now.

~*~

He stared at the door for a minute before turning to face Peyton. He could see how nervous she was just by the way she was standing before him. He wondered for a second what could be making her this uneasy before his thoughts went back to Brooke. The look she had in her eye right before she walked into the house wouldn't leave his mind. It was driving him crazy not knowing what was bothering her, he hated when she was upset about something, and from the way she was acting, he knew that was the case.

"So.." Peyton began, causing him to look up at her. He'd almost forgotten that she was standing in front of him. He wanted to walk into the house and find Brooke, ask her to tell him what was going on, but he couldn't. Knowing he couldn't do that was really beginning to annoy him. Why couldn't they just be friends? Why was it so hard for them to hang out without everyone there and not worry about people seeing them? Haley and Lucas hung out, and no one said anything to them about it. Why couldn't they? _Ya, but Lucas doesn't have a crush on Haley, _a voice in his head reminded him. He groaned. That was the only way to explain how he felt about Brooke, right now. He always wanted to be around her, he hated when Lucas was there... Everything just added up. And now what was he supposed to do? Telling her was not an option. He couldn't lose her. Not after everything that she'd done for him. He needed her in his life.

"Julian?" Peyton's voice pulled him out of his thoughts, causing him to smile slightly.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" He asked, sitting down in the chair next to him.

She frowned. She was beginning to doubt whether or not now was the right time to talk about this with him, but she knew if she didn't do it now she may not have the nerve later.

She sat next to him, leaning toward him. "So I've been thinking.. Things have been going pretty well lately.." She began, watching him nod slowly. She didn't know how to word what she was going to say next. She'd been rehearsing everything she wanted to say for the past few hours, but now that he was sitting before her, her mind was drawing a blank.

"Yes, they have.." He told her, unsure of where this was going. It seemed like she was getting more nervous by the second. "What's going on, Peyton?" He finally asked.

"I was just thinking.. Well, more like wondering. Yeah, I was just wondering... If maybe we can try to start on being a little more.." She finally admitted, looking at him for his reaction.

He stared at her for a second. "More than...?" He trailed off, not knowing how to finish the sentence. This definitely wasn't what he was expecting from her.

"More than friends." She explained softly. She felt like her heart was going to leap out of her chest at any moment. She knew that this was going to be hard, but the blank stare he was giving her right now was just making it worse.

"Oh." He muttered, looking down for a second. He looked over toward the house and could see Brooke across the room with Lucas. He had his arms around her and they were dancing, but even then, he could tell she was unhappy about something. He wished he was the one in there with her, maybe then he could make her feel better. Lucas was obviously oblivious to how upset she clearly was, and that alone annoyed him. How could someone have something so great and not even realize it? He didn't deserve her. She deserved someone who would take care of her. Someone who would make her happy at all times, and give her everything she deserved. Not someone who was going to just ignore her feelings.

"Julian." Her voice pulled him out of his thoughts again and he sighed deeply before turning toward her. He'd been worried about this from the moment he agreed to try and be friends, but after the past few weeks, he assumed that maybe they really were just friends. He had no idea that Peyton still felt that way, she certainly didn't act like it.

"Listen.. Peyton.." He began but she cut him off. He was caught off guard when she suddenly stood up. "Wait." He said, standing up with her.

She felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. She could tell from the moment that she said the words that he didn't agree with what she was saying. She felt like such an idiot for bringing it up. She just wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole. "Ya know what.. Don't even worry about it. Let's just pretend I never brought it up." She said quickly before turning and making her way into the house.

He stood there for a second, not knowing if he should follow her or not. He knew it wasn't his fault that he felt the way he did. He didn't see her like that anymore. Not when someone else clouded his thoughts. He felt bad that he hurt her again, but it wasn't intentional. He really wanted to be friends with her, he should have known this was going to happen. He felt like such a fool for believing that she was okay, and that being friends was a good idea. Now Peyton was upset with him also.

"Damn it!" He cursed, punching the side of the house. He winced. That wasn't such a smart idea. He could feel the pain race through his arm as he grabbed his hand tightly.

"I'm sure that didn't tickle."

He turned toward her in surprise. He hadn't even heard anyone come outside. "I'll be fine." He responded tightly.

"Julian, you're bleeding." Brooke exclaimed, walking over to him quickly. "Come on," She grabbed his free hand before leading him into the house. She didn't care if people saw them. He was hurt. She kept walking until they were standing in the kitchen. She was glad no one was in there.

"Brooke, I'm fine. It's just a scratch." He protested as she grabbed a towel and wrapped it tightly around his hand. "Ow!" He winced again at the pressure.

She smiled and shook her head. "Don't be a baby." She teased him before wiping the blood off his hand gently. She reached over to grab the neosporin and stopped when he grabbed her hand suddenly. She looked up at him, confused. "What?"

The way he was staring at her had her heart hammering in her chest. She didn't realize how close she was standing to him until she looked up. His eyes seemed to be a few shades darker than usual.

"What's the matter?" She choked out. When he looked up, she followed his eyes. When she saw what he was looking at she felt like her heart skipped a beat.

Mistletoe.

She cursed at Haley in her head for putting the damn things all around her house. At the time she thought it was a cute idea but knew hardly anyone would notice them. By the time the party would be in full swing, everyone would either be too drunk to notice or they simply wouldn't care. Now she wished she'd thought into it. That it would some how get her in trouble. She'd barely paid any attention to them the entire night. This was the first time any one pointed them out.

"It's tradition." He spoke softly, leaning in slowly. He stared into her eyes as he inched closer to her. He could feel his heart rate increasing and he wondered for a moment if she could here it, but he couldn't think about that. He couldn't think of anything. The only thing he could think about was Brooke and how close she was standing to him.

She could feel her heart pounding in her chest as he got closer to her. It was a few seconds later that she could feel his warm breath on her lips. She couldn't move. It was like her feet were permanently attached to the ground and no matter how loud her mind was screaming at her to move away, to stop this, she couldn't. She couldn't will her body to do anything. All she could do was stand there and wait.

Her eyes snapped shut when his face was just an inch away and she could feel the anticipation inside of her growing. She knew that this couldn't happen, that it shouldn't but it was like her body was on autopilot and she had no control. Her breath caught in her throat as she felt him kiss the corner of her mouth gently before suddenly pulling away. He glanced behind him for a second before turning toward her with a small smile on his face. She stared at him in curiosity, her breath coming out in short shallow gasps.

"What's going on?"

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**Please reviewww :)**


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N- Hey guys! Soo sorry it took me so long to update again but life has been pretty hectic lately. I've been working like mad training for a new position at work, so I've been so tired when I get home. Anywho! I just wanna thank 'Becca' for pointing out the mistake I made. Whoops! I'm so used to referring to him as Lucas Scott, haha. But thanks so much. I appreciate it =) I'm so excited for OTH! Can't wait to see what Brulian scenes we have coming to us. Hopefully the next episode wont have them breaking up in the beginning and them getting back together in the end, like they've been doing. We need some fluff! I'm sure most of yo guys have heard about CMM and Hilarie "not coming back" next season. I have mixed feelings about that. I don't like Peyton, but I love Lucas. I honestly think it's gonna be a little odd for CMM not to be on. It's like Brandon leaving BH90210 or having Dawson leave Dawson's Creek, you know? I dunno. Like someone else said, maybe that means more time for Brulian & Naley. That would be AWESOME. Hopefully Austin Nichols will be on next season. That would be fantastic news. Either way, hope everyone had a great weekend, and an even better week! This next chapter has a lot of importance, it's definitely leading up to the whats been going on in present time. If you notice, the date didn't change between the last chapter to this one. Just look out because the date does change in this chapter. But it only changes to the next day. You'll see LOL :) Hope you guys enjoy!! Please read and review! Thanks :)**

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Disclaimer - I don't own OTH! =)

**Chapter 9**

December 19, 2005

"What's going on?"

Brooke jumped away quickly from Julian, turning toward the voice. She almost groaned aloud when she saw Haley standing in the doorway of the kitchen, staring at them curiously. She was thankful it wasn't Lucas who walked in, but Haley could be just as bad.

"Haley we uh-" Brooke stammered but quickly stopped when she saw Haley stumbling over to her. She took a step toward her, extending her arms as if to catch her. "Are you ok?" She asked quickly.

Haley stared laughing, reaching Brooke and wrapping her arms around her. "I'm fantastic Tiggerroo. Are you ok?" She tried to keep a straight face but started giggling after a few seconds.

Julian stood back, pressing his lips together tightly to keep from laughing. It was obvious they had nothing to worry about. Haley clearly had no idea what had just taken place. She probably didn't even remember her name at this point.

Brooke took a hold of her arms, standing her up straight. She looked at her friends face closely. Her cheeks were a warm pink color and her eyes seemed to want to close."Haley, how much have you had to drink?"

Haley put her finger on her chin, pretending to think about it. It took her a long moment before she responded. "Only one." She paused to smile at her. "Plus a few more." She shrugged, giggling.

Brooke shook her head. She was too frazzled to find this amusing, and that was disappointing. She always had a good time with drunk Haley. Her thoughts, however, wouldn't leave the person standing behind her. She couldn't wrap her mind around what had just happened. Julian had kissed her. Well technically he'd kissed her cheek. Because of the mistletoe. But he'd kissed her nonetheless. Julian, her best friends ex-boyfriend, kissed her.

Brooke turned to Julian suddenly, ignoring her rapid heart beat. "Can you get Nathan for me?" She asked quietly. She needed to take care of Haley before she dealt with whatever just happened with Julian.

He nodded, walking out of the kitchen. He could tell that she was distracted, but he didn't know how to read her expression. He couldn't bring himself to regret what had just happened. He'd been wanting to do that for a long time, and when he'd seen the mistletoe above him, he knew he had his chance. Granted, he wanted their first kiss to be different, but he couldn't let that moment pass him by. He just hoped that she wasn't angry with him. He knew that even if she was, he still wouldn't take it back. He'd felt more alive in that few seconds than he had in months.

His eyes scanned the room for any sign of Nathan before he finally found him standing by the stairs. As he got closer he saw that he was standing there talking to Jake and Lucas. He made his way over to them, pushing past people as he went. He couldn't believe how many people had shown up tonght. He knew that Brooke was popular, but this was ridiculous. It seriously felt like everyone in Tree Hill High had been there tonight. It was crazy.

"Nate!" He called, getting closer to them. "Nathan!" He called over the music causing all 3 of them to turn toward him. "Brooke needs you in the kitchen, man."

"Why?" Nathan asked, confused. He glanced over at Lucas, wondering why he needed him instead of her boyfriend. Lucas looked puzzled, as well.

Julian shrugged. "Haley's drunk."

Nathan shook his head, placing his drink down on the table next to him. "I told her to slow down." He muttered, walking toward the kitchen.

Julian stood back, watching Lucas and Jake follow him. He wondered if he should go with them, but decided against it. He needed to get out of there. He looked around for a second before his eyes landed on Peyton. She was standing a few feet away from him, and he could tell from the look on her face that she'd been waiting for him to look over. He felt horrible. She looked really mad. But what was he supposed to do? It wasn't like he could tell her how he was really feeling. He didn't think telling her that he had feelings for Brooke would make her any happier. Leading her on just wasn't an option to him. He didn't want to hurt her anymore than he already had. He wished they could just be friends, but obviously that just wasn't possible.

He sent her a sad smile before turning to walk toward the door. Was he ever going to catch a break? He really thought that things were starting to look up but obviously he was wrong. With the exception of his mother's condition remaining the same, everything was starting to fall into place. Him and Peyton were on track of rebuilding a great friendship, he was starting to hang out with the guys again, much to Lucas' dismay he noted. And up until very recently, he still had Brooke right by his side. He really wished he knew what was going on with her. Maybe if he knew, he could some how make it better. Make it go away. He just hoped that he hadn't just made things worse between them.

He sighed as he made his way to his car. He didn't know if that was such a good idea now. With the way that she'd been acting lately, he was sure that he probably just pushed her further away from him. He knew he had to talk to her about everything soon, and the sooner the better. He didn't like being so up in the air with her. Not when they'd become so close. He never realized how much he leaned on her until now. Now that he feared he was losing her. He needed her in his life, and this wasn't going to change that. If he'd done something wrong, he'd apologize. He'd find some way to fix it. He had to.

Once he unlocked his car door he turned toward the house. He looked up to her bedroom window and was surprised to see her standing there. She was staring down at him and even from where he was standing he could see the confusion on her face. Her forehead was creased and their was the slightest frown on her face. He wished he could tell her to smile, but telling her anything right now wasn't a good idea. He needed to go and clear his head. He could tell that she needed time away from him as well.

He nodded his head once as if telling her goodbye before turning to climb into his car. He didn't turn around until he was stopped at the stop sign just a few houses down from hers. He wanted to see if she was still watching him.

She wasn't.

~*~

"You okay?" Lucas asked carefully, coming up behind her to wrap his arms around her. "Haley's asleep in the guest room. Nathan said he'll stay with her."

She nodded as she turned to smile at him. "I'm fine." She rubbed his arms softly before walking over to her bed to lay down. "Is everyone else gone?"

He nodded, walking over to shut her bedroom door. "Yeah. We cleaned up most of the mess. We can finish tomorrow." He told her, walking over to sit next to her.

She nodded, yawning. "Did you have a good time?" She asked, reaching over to take his hand in hers. She needed to be close to him right now.

"Yeah. I can't believe Haley got so trashed." He chuckled, shaking his head. It always seemed to be the things he least expected that actually happened at these parties.

She smiled slightly but didn't laugh. She knew Haley was in good hands, and in the morning she'd regret her earlier decisions. She couldn't wait to tease her about getting so drunk without her help when she'd made such a point to forewarn Brooke that she wasn't drinking. And though she was concerned for her friend just an hour before, she couldn't bring herself to worry about it now. She had so many thoughts swimming through her brain it was hard to pick just one to concentrate on. She brought her hand up to her mouth and gently traced where Julian had kissed her earlier. It was an innocent gesture, and they were obviously just caught up in the tradition of the mistletoe, but just the memory of it had her heart racing. She closed her eyes tightly, remembering how his warm breath felt on her skin. Just thinking about it sent a chill down her spine.

"You tired, babe?" Lucas' voice broke through her thoughts causing her eyes to snap open. She felt a wave of guilt washing over her as she stared into his eyes. How could she think about Julian with Lucas right beside her?

She nodded, forcing a small smile on her face. "It's been a rough day." She spoke softly. That was putting it mildly.

"Get some rest." Lucas urged gently, leaning down to kiss her forehead softly. When he went to get up from her bed he paused when she grabbed his wrist. "What's the matter?"

"Stay." She told him quietly. She didn't want to be alone right now. She knew that if she was alone, she'd never get sleep. She'd stay awake and relive the moment between her and Julian over and over again. She knew they needed to talk, but she didn't know what she was going to say. Why did you kiss me? That was obvious. The answer was hanging right above their heads. Why do you make me feel the way you do? Ya, he'd really have a reason for that. He'd probably find it amusing that he had such a bizarre effect on her.

Lucas nodded, smiling. He sat back down, leaning over to turn off the lamp next to her bed. When he laid down beside her she turned her face to stare out of her window. She wondered what he was doing, if he was thinking of her like she was thinking of him? Was what happened earlier replaying in his mind every few seconds like it was in hers?

~*~

December 20, 2005

"Morning, boozy." Brooke greeted , walking into her kitchen. She laughed. Haley was sitting at the dining room table in Brooke's bath robe, hand on her forehead and a cup of what she assumed to be coffee in her hand. She looked terrible.

Haley grunted a response before laying her head down on the table. Her head was pounding and she felt like the room was spinning. "Don't yell." She muttered, closing her eyes tightly.

Brooke laughed again as she poured herself some coffee. "What?!" She raised her voice slightly, only to receive a glare from Haley. "Sorry." She smiled innocently, sitting down across from her. "How many drinks did you have again?" She teased.

"I told you I wasn't going to get drunk."

Brooke laughed again before shaking her head. "Oh no. No way are you blaming this on me, grumpy. You did this one all on your own."

"Speaking of... Did I walk in on you and Lucas in the kitchen last night?" Haley asked, lifting her head to take a sip of her coffee. Her memory was pretty foggy but she remembered walking into the kitchen and seeing Brooke standing there. She knew that whoever was standing in front of her was a guy but she couldn't for the life of her remember who it was. She just assumed it was Lucas.

Brooke cleared her throat, nodding her head quickly. "Yep."

Haley nodded, slowly laying her head back down on the table. "The room is spinning." She groaned.

Brooke took a deep breath. She was thankful that Haley hadn't questioned her any further. She couldn't begin to express how thankful she was that Haley thought Julian was Lucas. She'd been worrying all night whether or not Haley realized what she walked in on. She'd have to count her lucky stars later. They had to be running out.

"Morning." Nathan greeted, walking into the kitchen. He looked at Haley and shook his head causing Brooke to laugh.

"Morning." Brooke responded, leaning her back against the counter. "Sleep well?" She teased. She knew Nathan had a rough night. She heard Haley in and out of the bathroom the entire night, and Nathan running right behind her. She'd made the move to get up and go help a few times before deciding that she was in good hands. She would have been useless with Nathan next to Haley. And knowing Nathan, he wouldn't have moved to let Brooke help.

"Just wonderfully. Thanks." He responded, dryly. "Lucas leave?" He asked, pouring himself a cup of coffee. He didn't remember hearing anyone leave the house, but he also knew that when he'd finally fallen asleep a bomb wouldn't have woken up him.

Brooke nodded. "Keith needed help." She explained. He'd left about a half hour before Brooke had come down stairs. She wanted to lay around and do nothing all day long, but she knew that wouldn't happen. Something would make her get up.

Nathan nodded, sitting down next to Haley. He gently rubbed her back, wondering if she fell asleep.

"I'm gonna go for a walk. I'm sure you'll be here when I get back." Brooke looked at Haley and laughed. She walked over to the sink shaking her head. Hang overs were really no fun. She felt bad for Haley.

"Ya." Nathan muttered, taking a long sip of coffee.

Brooke walked toward the front door, grabbing her jacket along the way. It was warmer than usual that morning but the wind was a little chilly. She knew that she'd wind up coming back to the house soon, but she wanted to at least try to clear her head.

When she opened the door, she was surprised to see Julian standing there already. Her heart thudded in her chest when she saw his face. He looked nervous about something but the smile on his face was what shocked her the most. He looked like he just won the lottery.

She stepped outside quickly, closing the door behind her. She hoped that Nathan and Haley were still in the kitchen. She didn't need them seeing Julian there. She didn't know how she'd explain that.

"Hey. You should have called. Nathan and Haley are still here." She grabbed his arm, walking down the porch steps toward the driveway. She ignored the way her hand tingled when she touched him.

Julian shook his head. "Brooke, she woke up." He spoke suddenly, causing Brooke to turn toward him quickly. She was unsure if she heard him correctly.

"Your mom?" She asked, surprised. He had barely talked about her lately. The last he'd said about her was that there was no progress. But she knew he wouldn't give up. Ever since he'd made the decision to keep her on life support, she knew that he wouldn't give up hope. She admired him for that. And now it looked like it had paid off.

"Yes!" He exclaimed. "I'm on my way there now, but I just.." He paused, taking a deep breath. "I had to tell you." He smiled widely. His excitement was practically pouring off of him.

She smiled. "Julian, that's great. I'm so happy for you!" She breathed, throwing her arms around his neck. His arms were around her waist in the next second and they stood like that for a long moment. She hugged him tightly before leaning back to look at his face. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him this happy. She smiled, realizing how happy it made her to see him smile.

"I just... I can't believe it. All this waiting. I have to get over there. I'll call you later, ok?" He asked in a hurry, leaning in to kiss her cheek before pulling away from her. He took her hand into his squeezing it gently before quickly walking toward his car. He smiled at her before pulling out of the driveway and taking off toward the hospital.

She stood there in a daze, watching until his car was out of sight. She couldn't believe how cold she suddenly was. His arms around her had her whole body on fire. She shook her head as if shaking the thoughts away. His mom was awake? That was great news. She couldn't imagine what Julian was feeling. From the look on his face she could tell he was elated. She would be too, had she been in his shoes. She was so happy for him. He needed something to go right in his life. Maybe last night had been good for him as well. Peyton had been really excited to have that talk with him. Maybe it had gone better than she expected. Worse for Brooke.

She couldn't understand why the thought of Peyton and Julian getting back together annoyed her as much as it did. She wanted him to be happy, and if that was what he wanted, she shouldn't let it bother her. But it did. She didn't want to see them together anymore. She knew that if he got back together with Peyton, she'd be the one he went to, not Brooke. She'd be the one that got to hold him at night. That got to hear all the things that bothered him throughout his day or his fears at night. She would be taking away the things that Brooke had come to love. She shook her head. If that was what they both wanted, she would have to let it go. She'd have to let him go.

She started walking toward her house, the idea of walking around her neighborhood suddenly sounding unappealing. All she wanted to do was curl up in her bed and take a nap. Maybe when she woke up her thoughts would be in order.

She reached up, gently tracing her fingers along her cheek where Julian had just kissed her just had she'd done the night before. She felt the butterflies in her stomach as she thought about both memories. She felt like such a fool, reacting this way from his harmless kisses.

"Brooke?" She jumped when she heard Haley's voice coming from the kitchen. She'd nearly forgotten Haley and Nathan were still at her house.

She cleared her throat before answering, knowing her voice wouldn't cooperate with her. "Yeah, it's me." She called back, walking up the stairs. "I'm gonna take a nap."

She didn't wait to hear Haley's response before she made it into her bed room. She kicked her sandals off and made her way toward her bed. She didn't care that she was fully dressed. She just wanted to get under her covers and hide from the real world for a few hours.

She stared up at her ceiling, thinking about the past few weeks. She hated that she'd become so different lately. She was always so upbeat and happy. But now it just felt like every little thing could put her in a bad mood and she hated it. She knew that things had started to change when Julian and her had become friends, but she couldn't understand why. They'd been around each other a lot in the past. Granted, Peyton was always around and they barely talked, but it wasn't like he'd just walked into her life.

She was surprised at how close they'd become in such a short time. It always felt like it took a long time for her to let people in. It seemed with Julian, however, it took 5 minutes. She wondered if Julian had gone to Peyton as well when he found out about his mom being awake, but she shook her head. She knew he didn't.

She sighed, aggravated. Why did she care if he did? What did it matter to her? It was his life, his decisions. She had nothing to do with them. She'd never felt so protective of anyone, and she knew that. It made no sense to her how much things bothered her when it came to Julian. When Lucas had talked about him in the past, yes it annoyed her a little, but nothing like this. It in no way, compared to the aggravation she felt now and in the past few weeks. And seeing him with Peyton had never bothered her in the past, but now when she saw her even looking at him she fought the urge to roll her eyes. She wanted to tell Peyton to just leave him alone, that she had no idea what he was going through. But every time the urge came up, she ignored it. She didn't need to start anything with Peyton. Especially when she had no way of explaining her actions or her feelings.

Feelings that didn't make any sense to her. Feelings that she wished would just go away. All they brought was aggravation and confusion. She couldn't tell anyone about them. If she tried to explain how protective she was of him or how much she'd given up to be there for him in the past few months, who would understand? No one. If she told anyone about how even the slightest touches from him made her heart flutter, or how excited she got when she saw him calling, what would they say? How would she find the way to tell them about she felt when Peyton was around? Anyone would just tell her that she was jealous, but that wasn't the case. She wasn't jealous of Peyton. What was there to be jealous of? She was the one that Julian came to when he needed someone. When he needed her.

She tried to think about what she would say if someone were telling her all of this. She knew what she would tell them. It would be the same thing that someone would tell her.

They would just tell her that she was in love with him.

~*~

He made his way toward the big mahogany desk in front of him quickly. He wanted to get his visitor's pass as quick as possible and go up to see his mom. He'd barely been able to calm himself down since the doctor had called him just an hour before. He'd been cleaning out his car when he heard his cell phone ringing.

He'd barely been able to breath when he saw it was the doctor calling. All of his insides had locked together in fear, expecting the worst. Everything that had been happening lately had not been going in his favor, and this would just be the icing on the cake. But he was wrong. All he heard when he answered the phone was that she was awake before he started freaking out. Thank God.

He'd completely stopped what he was doing, quickly telling him that he would be up there as soon as possible before jumping in his car and taking off. He knew he should have gone straight to the hospital, but he needed to tell her. He didn't know if anyone was with her or if she was even home, but he didn't care. He needed to go see her.

He was glad that he did. Seeing her smile at him, just made him even happier. He wanted to share that moment with her, and he could tell that she felt the same way. He'd missed her smile. He didn't realize just how much until now. He knew he'd barely given her a chance to react, but he had to get to the hospital. He'd talk to her later, he knew. So he'd sped all the way here, thankfully avoiding the many speeding tickets that he should have gotten.

He walked toward her room, suddenly slowing his pace. He was starting to wonder what it would be like when he walked into her room. It had been different up until now. Did she knew that he'd been there every day since she'd been there? Did she want him there? Maybe she didn't. He hadn't called her, and it was his fault that she was here.

"Julian?"

He spun around seeing his mother's doctor standing before him. He had a big smile on his face, and for a moment he wondered if the doctor was almost as happy as he was. Having a patient for so long, although she wasn't conscience, he was sure that the doctors got a little attached. Having them wake up after a long time, had to be rewarding. He suddenly felt the urge to give the doctor a big hug, but he held back. He probably thought he was a nutcase enough as it was. He didn't need to make it worse.

"How is she?" He asked, quietly. He was standing just inches from her door. Just a few feet away from where he knew she was waiting. He couldn't force himself to take the few steps and go in. He was afraid now of what he'd be walking into. He hoped that she was as happy to see him as he was to see her.

"She's waiting for you. She knows whats going on, and that's a good sign. A lot of times, a comatose patient is very confused after being out for so long. But she's fine. She'd been asking for you." He smiled warmly.

Julian nodded, looking at the door. He wanted to go in and see her, but something was holding him back. He wished he didn't even think about the what if's, but he couldn't help it. He hadn't seen his mother aside from all the hospital visits in years. It'd been different this entire time. It was almost like he had been in the room by himself every time he'd come here, now she would know what he was saying. Now she would see his face, and be able to respond back to him. It was different now. "When can she come home?"

"Well, we're going to keep her over night to review her vitals and see if anything changes, but tomorrow morning she should be just fine to go home." He smiled. "Go on in, son."

He nodded, taking a deep breath. He took a step closer, reaching out to pull the heavy door open. Once he was inside, he looked at her. She was sitting up in her bed, looking out the window. Her blonde hair was down and around her shoulders. She didn't hear him come in.

Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he took a step closer to her. "Mom." He spoke softly.

She turned toward him quickly, smiling as soon as she saw him. "Julian." She breathed. She reached her hand out, motioning for him to come closer to her.

He walked closer to her, hesitantly. He'd been there a million times, but this was different. He wasn't used to seeing her eyes open or seeing her smiling at him. Seeing her awake almost knocked the wind out of him. He couldn't explain what he was feeling at that moment. He was excited, scared, happy and nervous wrapped in one. He felt like his heart was going to pound right out of his chest.

When he was standing in front of her, he could see the tears building in her eyes. He leaned down to hug her, holding her close to him, but still gently. He knew that she was ok, that all her bruising and cuts had healed over the time she'd been there, but he still felt the need to be careful with her. He felt like one wrong move could break her. Could break this moment.

She wrapped her arms around him tightly, pulling him close to her. "Oh Julian. I'm so glad to see you." She cried into his shoulder. She breathed him in, his cologne, his scent. She'd missed him more than words. She couldn't believe that he was sitting in front of her. Her son. Her Julian.

He hugged her tightly, burying his head in her neck. He felt the tears burning down his cheeks but he ignored them. All he could concentrate on was that she was awake and that she was okay. That was all that mattered.

"Me too, mom. Me too."

~*~

"Coming!" Brooke called, running down the stairs. The knocking didn't stop until she finally swung her front door open.

"Peyton." Brooke said, surprised. She looked around, wondering if Haley and Nathan were still there. It was too quiet for anyone else to be in the house. She was surprised she'd even fallen asleep. She wondered for a second what time it was before Peyton cleared her throat. "Oh, sorry. Come in." She held the door open for her to come inside before closing it and following her toward her living room.

"So what's going on?" Brooke asked curiously, after they both sat down on her couch. She was oddly quiet. It was obvious that something was on the blonde's mind. She had a feeling that whatever Peyton was about to say, it had to do with Julian. It seemed like everything she wanted to talk about lately had to do with him.

Peyton shrugged, picking up one of the pillows off the couch before placing it on her lap. She pulled on one of the strings on the edge before she finally looked up at Brooke.

She didn't say anything, she just watched her. Now she was positive something was wrong. She wondered if she wanted to hear it, but quickly shook the thought away. She needed to start ignoring her feelings and start being a better friend to everyone. There was nothing she could do about how she felt, she needed to just let it go. It wasn't like she was going to tell him. That was out of the question.

"So I talked to Julian last night." Peyton finally said, causing Brooke to nod. She knew that already. She was unfortunately outside when Peyton had pulled him aside.

When it looked like she wasn't going to continue, Brooke nodded again. "And?"

"He didn't say anything."

Brooke stared at her, confused. "What do you mean, he didn't say anything?"

Peyton sighed. "Well, it was more like I didn't let him say anything. It was so obvious that he was about to let me down. He started off with the whole 'Listen, Peyton..' sentence and I'm not an idiot. Why am I such an idiot? I should have just left everything alone."

Brooke frowned. "But you can't help how you feel, Peyt." _Believe me, I know_.

"But I can't just be friends with him, Brooke. I want more. I want us to be _us_ again. I thought he knew that! I don't understand. I thought that things were getting better, and I thought he felt the same way. I guess I was wrong." She paused for a minute. "Do you think maybe he's just moved on?"

"Move on, how?" She asked, carefully. She knew that could have been taken more ways than one and she didn't want to jump to conclusions.

"Like... I don't know. Maybe there's someone else? Or maybe he just doesn't want me anymore." She sighed."Is there something wrong with me?"

Brooke shook her head. "There's nothing wrong with you, Peyton. You know that." She chose not to comment on anything else. Though she knew nothing was going on, she still felt guilty. Like she might have had something to do with all of this.

"Where's Luke?" Peyton asked after a few seconds.

"Keith's. I guess Joey still isn't feeling any better." Brooke explained. Joey, one of Keith's mechanics had come down with the flu the week before and Luke had been filling in for him on the days Keith needed him.

Peyton nodded but didn't say anything. She sat there, staring down at the patterns on the pillow. She looked up at Brooke. "I can't do this again, Brooke. I can't be friends with him."

Brooke sighed before scooting closer to her. She pulled her into her arms, rubbing her back gently. She felt bad for her friend. She knew that being in her position wasn't easy. It didn't feel too good to feel like the person you were in love with might not want you back.

"I know how you feel, Peyt. Believe me."

~*~

"So tell me everything. How's school? Your friends?"

Julian smiled. He still couldn't believe that he was sitting here with his mother and she was awake. She was smiling at him, and he couldn't help but smile back. He was so glad that he'd made the decision that he had. Had he not, he might not have gotten this chance. There really was a reason for everything.

"School's school. Graduation is only a few months away. I can't wait." He laughed.

She smiled. "You know, believe it or not, after its over... you miss it."

Julian shook his head. "High school sucks."

She laughed. "Tell me about your friends."

"Well, there's Brooke..." He began, looking down for a second. When he looked up at her, she was smiling at him. He smiled. "What?" He asked, laughing.

"Nothing. I just love that you mention a girl first," She laughed. "Look at that face. She must be important.." She smiled when he nodded. "Brooke. That name is familiar."

"She's been here." He told her. "She's been here a few times actually."

She smiled softly. "That's nice. Has anyone else been here?" She asked after a few seconds.

He shook his head. "Uh.. No. No one else really knows about this but Brooke. Only Grandma.."

She frowned but shook it off. She didn't want to upset him. "So tell me about your other friends."

"Well, there's Nathan. He's dating Brooke's best friend Haley. They're both pretty cool. And Lucas. Well he's not really my friend. He kind of hates me." He laughed, shaking his head.

"Hates you? Who can hate you?" She questioned, surprised.

He shrugged. "This guy hasn't liked me since I can remember. He's dating Brooke."

She nodded her head as if understanding. "Now I get it." She laughed.

"Get what?" He asked, confused.

"No wonder Lucas hates you. If he's Brooke's boyfriend, I can understand it."

"What do you mean?"

"Julian, I wasn't born yesterday sweetheart. You practically lit up when you said her name. And the fact that she's the only one who knows about me. There's a reason for that." She said giving him a knowing look.

He sighed before looking down. "Ya, but it's complicated, mom."

"What's complicated? Because she has a boyfriend?"

He nodded, looking up. "Ya. That and her other best friend is my ex-girlfriend." He laughed, shaking his head. "I get myself in the best situations."

She laughed with him for a second before reaching over to take his hand in hers. "Does she know how you feel?"

He frowned before shaking his head. He sighed.

"Well, why not?"

He laughed once before shaking his head again. "Why not? Mom. I just told you why not. It just wouldn't be a good idea. I already know what she would say"

She frowned. She could tell he was upset about it so she decided not to push it. "So listen.. I have some news." She told him after a few seconds.

He looked up, nodding his head. "Good news I hope." He smiled. "And if it's bad.. I don't wanna know." He joked.

She laughed. "Well, it's up to you whether it's good or not." She paused for a second before continuing. She sat up a little more. "The doctor told me I can go home tomorrow."

Julian nodded. "He told me the same thing. That's awesome, mom. Grandma says you can stay with us for as long as you want." He smiled. He couldn't wait to get her home and settled. He could just imagine how anxious she was to get out of the hospital and continue on with her life. There were so many things he wanted to do with her. Take her out, show her around Tree Hill. Show her where he grew up. Have her officially meet Brooke. He smiled.

She shook her head. "I have to go home, Julian."

He stared at her, confused. "Home... You mean, you have to go to New York?" He asked, softly. He didn't like where this was going.

She nodded, "My life is there. Granted, I've been out for a while, but everything I have is there. Except for.." She trailed off.

"Me." He finished for her. She nodded.

He sat there for a second, trying to digest what she was saying. How could he lose her when he just got her back? He couldn't.

"Wait." He paused to take a deep breath. "You're going to leave?" He asked her, softly. He hated how weak he sounded but he couldn't help it. He'd been tearing himself up for over a month over the possibility of losing her. Now that she was there, alive and well, he couldn't just let her leave.

She nodded. "Yes." She paused, smiling slightly. "But I want you to come with me."

He stared at her. "You want me to come with you?" She nodded. "To New York?" He watched as she nodded again.

She squeezed his hand gently. "This is up to you, sweetheart. I'm not going to force you to do anything. But I can't stay here forever, Julian. I already talked to your grandmother. I'm going to stay until next week. But I have to go home."

He nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. "Can I think about it?" He asked, softly.

She nodded. "Yes, of course. Think about it. But even if you decide to stay, know that this isn't the end for us. I just got you back, Julian. I'm not going to let you go again."

He nodded, but he didn't respond. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to loose her again, but he didn't know how he'd be able to leave Tree Hill.

He didn't know how he'd be able to leave Brooke.

~*~

"Hey..." Brooke whispered, opening her front door. "It's late. Do you want to come in?"

Julian shook his head. "It's nice out." He told her softly. He didn't know how he was about to tell her what was going on, but he knew he had to. He couldn't keep this from her.

"What's going on? You sounded... weird on the phone." She pulled her sweater tightly around her body. She didn't know if it was the air that was giving her the chills or the way he was looking at her. She didn't want to know.

"Can we sit?" He asked, gesturing toward the porch swing a few feet away from them. He didn't wait for an answer before he walked over to sit down. He waited until she sat down next to him before he spoke.

"So my mom is doing a lot better. The doctor said she can come home tomorrow." He told her.

She smiled. "Julian, that's great."

He nodded. "It is."

"So what's wrong?" She questioned. For such great news, he didn't seem to be as happy as she expected him to be. She got a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach when he looked at her. He looked nervous and that scared her. "What's going on?"

"She's not staying. She's going home." When she looked confused he continues. "Home to New York."

She frowned before scooting closer to him. She pulled him into her arms, hugging him closely. She sighed, rubbing his back gently. "I'm sorry." She murmured softly.

He took a deep breath, wrapping his arms around her tightly. "She wants me to come with her." He mumbled.

She froze in his arms, not knowing if she heard him correctly She pulled away slowly to look at his face. "What?" She breathed. It felt like the air had been knocked out of her.

He nodded, frowning. "She asked me to come with her."

"To New York."

He knew it was rhetorical but he answered anyway. "Yes." He told her, softly.

She sat there for a few minutes, not saying anything. She couldn't wrap her head around what he'd just told her. "Like... for good?" She didn't mean to sound as stupid as she did, she just didn't understand. She suddenly felt silly for letting everything bother her lately when she could possibly lose him.

He nodded again, but didn't say anything. He could tell that she was trying to digest everything. He felt bad for springing this on her, but he knew that if he kept it from her any longer, it would just get harder to tell. He needed to tell her. There was a lot of things he needed to tell her.

"I.." She paused, taking a deep shaky breath. "I don't know what to say."

He laughed once, but she could tell by the look on his face that he didn't find anything funny. "I know what you mean. I didn't know what to say to her either when she told me. It's a lot to take in."

"What are you gonna do?" She asked, looking down. She was afraid of his answer. She didn't know how she'd take it if he told her he was leaving.

He sighed. "I don't know. I really don't. On one hand, I want to go with her. I just don't want to lose her again. She keeps telling me that this isn't the end, but it's going to be hard. Her in New York and me here, in Tree Hill. I feel like I'm talking about a long distance relationship with a girlfriend or something." He paused to laugh. "I just don't know how I can leave here."

She nodded, still looking down. She wished there was something she could say or do to make him feel better, but she was coming up with nothing. She hated feeling useless.

He reached over lifting her chin with his finger gently, causing her to look up and into his eyes. "I don't know how I can leave you."

Her heart started hammering in her chest as she stared in his eyes. The way he was looking at her had her stomach doing flip flops, but she couldn't look away.

"Brooke, I have to tell you something." His husky voice was barely above a whisper. "I don't know how you're gonna take it, but I have to tell you. Just.. Try not to freak out on me ok? Just know that I tried to ignore it." He shook his head when he reallized he was rambling.

She nodded but didn't say anything. It felt like she didn't know how to talk.

"I-" He started but paused. He knew he had to tell her. He couldn't hold it in any longer. Especially if there was any way that she felt the same. He couldn't leave without telling her how he felt. He took a deep breath. "Brooke I lo-"

"What the hell are you doing here?"

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**Sorry for another cliff hanger! Kudos to those who knew it was Haley in the beginning. I hope you guys enjoyed! Sorry again for the wait =( I promise it wont take that long this time. Please review!! I love to read what you guys have to say! Have a great day! :)**


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N - Hey guys! I'm soooo sorry for the wait, but life & work got in the way, as always! :( Hopefully you guys haven't given up on me, because I haven't given up on this story, I promise!! Just so you know, this next chapter was very difficult for me to write. I wanted it to come out perfect, and honestly I'm not sure I'm happy with the outcome, but I've rewritten it a million times! Just FYI, the story is going to be picking up pace now. This was the turning chapter and from now on, you'll start understanding what the prologue is about. Also, I'm trying to add a little more Haley/Nathan/Peyton/Jake. Though, I wont be taking the focus off of Brooke & Julian, I wanted to add a little bit of the other characters as well. Their opinions, and what not. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, it's very important for the rest of the story. As always, thank you guys so much for reading and reviewing and sticking with me. It means so much!!! Can't waitttt for the new OTH episodes. I was so bummed when Julian left =( But I understand Brooke. This is why I love her so much. She's the best for doing that for Sam. I was super excited when I saw Julian comes back, though. Hopefully it's not a dream & it's for good. *crosses fingers* LOL.. Ok enough of my rant. Please don't mind any typos or grammatical errors, its almost 2am LOL and I really wanted to get this out for you guys. Let me know if I missed any mistakes and I will def fix them! You guys are awesome! Enjoy.

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**Disclaimer- I unfortunately have nothing to do with OTH or the CW. Darn =(**

Chapter 10

December 26, 2005

3:07 am.

The bright red numbers on her alarm clock seemed to be staring Brooke right in the face. She rolled over in aggravation, turning her attention to her ceiling. She'd been laying in her bed for almost 2 hours and yet she was still wide awake. Sleep didn't seem to want to cooperate with her tonight. While her body was completely exhausted, her mind seemed to be on autopilot. It wouldn't stop.

She sighed, sitting up and tossing her comforter to the side. She couldn't just lay there any longer. If she did she was sure she was going to loose her mind. If she already hadn't. It was obvious that she wasn't going to be getting much sleep tonight, but that seemed to be a trend for her lately. It had been a week since she had a good nights sleep.

It had been a week since she saw him.

She sat down next to her window, looking out at the dark sky. She knew that was the reason she'd barely been able to sleep lately. Every night she would lie awake in her bed and she couldn't get him out of her head. It was as though he was standing over her acting as a constant reminder. No matter what she tried, she couldn't stop thinking about him. She'd tried to go out with Peyton or Haley earlier in the week, but that had ended similar. Everywhere they went seemed to carry a memory that she had with him. After that she'd pretty much kept her distance from everyone. She didn't need them questioning her behavior.

It was all so aggravating. It was like she could do nothing else but think of him and she couldn't take it any longer. She hadn't seen him in a week, and it was killing her. Ever since that night a week before. The night that she'd been replaying over and over in her mind. She'd told him later that night that she needed time. Time to herself, time away from him. She couldn't think straight. Especially with Lucas and Julian about to kill each other.

_December 19,2005_

_Her heart was pounding in her chest as she looked at him. He was nervous, she could see that. She watched as he opened his mouth to speak but closed it after just a few seconds._

_"Brooke, I lo-" _

_"What the hell are you doing here?" Lucas' angry voice caused Brooke to stand up quickly. Her heart was slamming against her chest as she looked at him. It was then that it dawned on her what Julian was about to say and she felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. "Did you not hear me? I said what the hell are you doing here?" He repeated, causing Brooke to snap out of her thoughts._

_"Luke-" She began, talking a step closer to him but he cut her off. He wasn't even looking at her. His glare was directed toward Julian. She stepped in front of Julian, extending her hand toward Lucas. "Calm down."_

_Julian stood up also, moving to stand beside Brooke. He could practically see the anger pouring out of Lucas. He should have known someone or something was going to stop him from telling her how he felt. He almost felt like it was a sign. That maybe he shouldn't tell her. Maybe there was a reason that Lucas had shown up. Or maybe he'd just shown up to annoy him. That had to be it. _

_"Calm down?" He repeated, angrily. He turned his glare to Brooke. "You want me to calm down?" He laughed once, but she could tell that he saw nothing funny about the situation. She'd never seen that look in his eyes, and that scared her. She took a step closer to him. _

_"Lucas. Please if you're just let me-" She spoke quickly but he stopped her again. _

_"Let you what, Brooke? Explain? You want to explain? Go ahead. I can't wait." He spoke bitterly, causing her to flinch. She wasn't used to this side of him. She'd seen him angry in the past, but it seemed like none of those times compared to now. She was honestly afraid of the person standing before her. But she couldn't back away. She was afraid that if she did, things would just get worse._

_"Come on, man.." _

_Brooke sent Julian a pleading look when he spoke. Anything he had to say wouldn't make anything any better. In fact, she was positive that it would only make matters worse. Though at the rate they were going, she wasn't sure how that was possible._

_"Come on what? Come on and pound your face in? My pleasure." He took a step toward Julian, but Brooke stood between them. He didn't look at her, though. He kept his eyes locked on Julian. He wanted nothing more then to beat him into the ground. Who did he think he was? Going to Brooke's house at that hour. He wanted to know what the hell was going on. _

_"Lucas. Please." Brooke begged, placing her hands on his chest. "This isn't what it looks like." _

_He shifted his eyes to Brooke's, causing her to take a step back. His angry stare had her stomach in knots. She was terrified._

_"I'm going to go inside. When I come back out... You better be gone." Lucas warned, backing toward the door. He didn't take his eyes off of Julian until he made it to the front door. Before walking inside he looked at Brooke, the expression on his face sending a chill down her spine. _

_She stared at her front door for a few seconds, not sure of what she should do. Her hands were trembling by her side and she felt like at any moment her legs were going to give out from beneath her. Julian's words replayed in her mind again, and she closed her eyes. She could feel tears sliding down her cheeks but she didn't move to wipe them away. She was hoping that at any moment she was going to wake up and this would just be a nightmare. But she knew it wasn't. She knew that this was her fault. She should have been more careful. It was only a matter of time before someone saw her and Julian together. She knew that it was always a possibility, but she always put it into the back of her mind. If she were honest with herself, she knew that she barely let that bother her. The only thing she ever cared about when she was with him was him. Nothing else seemed to matter. And now it had blown up in her face. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her ragid breathing. He was going to say 'i love you'. She felt like she could suffocate at any minute. _

_How could she let this happen? How could they fall for each other? How? How was she going to explain this to Lucas? How would she explain anything? He wouldn't understand. He would probably break up with her. Her stomach dropped as the thought crossed her mind. She'd never seen him so angry. Like at any moment he was going to burst. She could just imagine what it looked like when he approached them. She closed her eyes tightly, causing more tears to fall from her eyes. This wasn't happening._

_He watched her carefully, not knowing what to say or do. He wanted to reach out and brush away her tears but he stayed where he was. He was almost positive that she knew what he was going to tell her. He wished that he could tell her now. Tell her that he loved her, and make her feel better. But he knew that anything he said or did at that point would just make everything worse. If that were even possible. His heart was breaking watching her cry. He hated that he was the reason for her pain. He never wanted to hurt her. He hated himself for hurting her._

_He sighed. How did things get to this point? How could he let things get to this point, was a better question. _

_When she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper. The sadness in her voice had his heart slamming against his chest. She didn't look at him, but he didn't expect her to. "I think it's best if you leave." _

_"Brooke-" She could hear in his voice how upset he was, but she couldn't let that get to her. She needed to fix this._

_"Please. Just go." She whispered, looking up at him for the first time. She felt so bad telling him to leave, especially when she didn't mean it, but she knew it had to be said. She was in over her head and she didn't know what to do anymore. She wished that the ground would just open up and swallow her. "I'm sorry." _

_The look in her eyes had his heart aching. "Don't be."_

_She nodded but didn't say anything. She walked over to her front door, pausing to look back at him. Their eyes locked for a moment before she walked inside. She didn't know how she was going to fix this, but she had to try. She couldn't change how he felt, or how she felt for that matter, but she couldn't think about that right now. She was more concerned about what was about to happen. She didn't know what was going through Lucas' mind and she was terrified to find out. She stopped outside her bedroom door, scared of what she was about to walk into. She wondered for a moment if she'd be able to fix this, before shaking her head. She had to. She couldn't let this ruin them. She couldn't let him ruin them. _

_She took a deep breath before pushing the door open. She saw him sitting next to her window, staring out at the sky. Her light wasn't on, but even from where she was standing she could see how tense he was. He didn't turn around when she opened the door, but she wasn't surprised. She knew he was furious. _

_She stood there, watching him for several minutes before finally walking over to him. She sat down in front of him, keeping a few inches between them. She didn't want to push her luck. She stared up at his face, wishing he would look over at her. But he didn't._

_She sighed, looking down to see Julian's car disappearing down the street. She wished this night hadn't happened, but she knew there was no taking it back. _

_She looked back up at Lucas, surprised to see his eyes on her. She could tell he was trying to figure out her expression, and she wondered for a second what she looked like before realizing she didn't care. An uneasy feeling washed over at her when she saw the look in his eyes. _

_It was going to be a long night._

~*~

And a long night it had been. She couldn't remember a time before that night that she'd cried and argued so much. There had been at least 5 or 6 times where she thought that Lucas was just going to leave, but he'd stayed. She didn't know why, but he had.

She hated herself for causing things to get like that between them. They weren't supposed to get to that point. They weren't supposed to be that couple. The couple who couldn't get past something like this. Or better yet, someone like Julian. They'd gone through so much in the past, and they'd come out on top. This time felt different. This time, she didn't know if they could survive.

She closed her eyes, shaking her head. Julian had been calling her all week, but she'd kept telling him she needed space. She needed time. She had to figure out what the hell she was doing before she could talk to him. Before she could talk to anyone for that matter. She knew it was only a matter of time before the excuses didn't work. It was only a matter of time before she'd have to deal with this.

She'd been doing a good job avoiding him at school, but she knew it had to stop soon. She knew that his mother was planning on leaving soon, and it killed her. It killed her to know that the next time they saw each other, it could be the last.

She was angry with herself. That was obvious. She was so mad at herself for letting herself get this involved. She knew she was in over her head, and at any minute, she was expecting to drown. Drown in the misery, drown in her own self pity. She shook her head.

Standing up, she made herself a vow. She wanted to be the old Brooke Davis. The Brooke Davis who would rise above this and come out on top. The Brooke Davis who wouldn't let anything come between her and Lucas. The Broke Davis who was best friends with Peyton and Haley, and was there for them no matter what. The Brooke Davis that barely knew Julian Baker. But she knew it wouldn't happen. It was too late, and as annoying as the fact may be, she knew she couldn't change anything.

Ever since Julian had come into her life, her world had been turned upside down. In her fight to regain her strength, all she'd done was make things worse. Now Lucas was mad at her, she was ignoring Julian, and her friends had no idea what was going on with her.

She frowned, making her way back to her bed. She had to talk to him tomorrow. She had to clear everything up. She knew what she had to do. She couldn't just let things keep going the way they were, it was too hard. It had been hard enough staying away from him yesterday, and she wondered how he'd explained to Karen why she wasn't there for Christmas dinner. She felt guilty for that, she knew that Karen was expecting her. She made a mental note to apologize and somehow find a way to make it up to her. She didn't need anyone else being upset with her.

She sighed as her thoughts drifted back to Julian.

She knew she had to talk to him, and she knew it would be soon. She just couldn't stop thinking about what he was saying before Lucas interrupted him. Maybe she was thinking too much into it, or her imagination was getting the best of her, but she swore he was going to say 'i love you'. But how could that be? Was it possible for him to love her?

She felt a tear escape from the corner of her eye as she realized the answer to her question.

It was possible for him to love her, because she loved him back.

~*~

It was early the next morning that she was walking toward the Rivercourt. It was too early for any of their friends to be there. She'd sent Julian a text message the night before, asking him to meet her there so they could finally talk. She needed to do this before it got any worse.

He hadn't responded, but she knew that he'd be there. He had to be there. She knew he was just as confused and upset as she was, and because of that she felt horrible for ignoring him over the past week, but she needed the time. She'd been a jumbled mess over the past, she had no idea how many weeks, and she needed that break from everyone to finally sort through her thoughts. She needed to rearrange her priorities before she went insane, and she knew that today was going to be the first step.

She would be lying if she said she wasn't afraid, though. She was terrified. She was afraid that if she didn't get this over with now, she may not be able to get her nerve back.

Looking up, she wasn't surprised to see him already sitting at the table. He didn't appear to have seen her, though and she used that to her advantage. She walked slowly before finally pausing, taking in his appearance. He was dressed nice, a long sleeved white shirt and dark blue jeans. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. The more she looked at him, though, she could see the dark circles under his eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks.

Taking a deep breath, she took a few more steps before standing before him. She was surprised that he hadn't noticed her yet. For a moment she considered walking in the other direction before she shook her head. She couldn't do that. She couldn't keep running away from everything. That wasn't who she was and she was tired of being this person that she didn't recognize.

"Hey."

He looked up quickly, surprised to see her standing before him. He wondered for a moment how he'd missed her walking up to him, but decided it didn't matter. What mattered was that she was here, and she was talking to him. Finally.

He stood up quickly, unsure of what to do with himself. He'd been thinking about this since he'd gotten her text the night before. He'd stared at the phone for over an hour, wanting to respond back, but he'd decided against it. He wanted to wait until she was in front of him before he said anything to her. He knew that if he was in front of her, he'd have no choice but to be honest. She'd see right through him otherwise.

"Hey. Thanks for coming." _Thanks for coming? _He shook his head. _She was the one who invited you, moron._

She nodded, sitting down across from him. She watched as he sat down in front of her. She could tell by the way he was looking down at the table how nervous he was.

"So.." They both began after a few moments of silence. They laughed, shaking their heads.

"You first." He told her.

She nodded, taking a deep breath. She knew that she had to be honest with him, and with herself. She couldn't keep running away from everything. That wasn't who she was, and she was tired of being a person she didn't recognize.

"Ok, but please just.. Just let me get everything out ok?"

He nodded, waiting for her to to continue. He felt like his heart was going to pound from his chest at any moment. He had no idea what she was about to say, and his curiosity was killing him. His stomach was tied in knots as he watched her.

"I want you to know before I say anything that you are probably one of the best friends I will ever have." She told him, smiling softly. "These past few months, have been crazy to say the least. I know we both realize that." She paused, watching him nod. "Over the past couple of weeks, I've become a person that I don't recognize. A person, that I don't necessarily hate, but I don't like either. I just feel like I've been running away from something, and to this day, I don't know what from. The one thing I do know is that I need to stop running."

She paused to take a deep breath. She looked down at her hands for a moment, unsure of how to continue, but she knew she had to. It was now or never. She knew what she had to say to him, and instead of dancing around it, she decided honesty was the best way to do it.

"I don't know what's going on, Julian. Everything just came out of no where, and I'm glad that we've gotten this close." She paused, taking a deep breath. "But I'm also sad. Because, I feel like it's the end," She spoke softly, finally looking up to meet his eyes. "I feel like it has to be the end." She felt her heart drop when she saw the look on his face. She could see in his eyes how much she was hurting him, but she had no choice. She had to do this for herself before there was no going back. Before she messed her life up even more.

"Lucas and I, we've been together for so long and we've gone through so much. I can't just walk away from that. I can't give up on what we have without fighting for it. I love Lucas. That's why this is so hard. Because somehow, sometime in the past few months, I've developed feelings for my best friend ex boyfriend, and I have no way or words to justify my feelings." She admitted, looking away from him once more. "I'm only one person and I love two. I don't know what I did to deserve this, but it happened."

He sat there for a long moment, trying to digest her words. She'd just said that she loved him. But she also loved Lucas. He couldn't help but be elated that she'd admitted her feelings. Knowing that she felt the same way, was a relief to him. But he wasn't stupid enough to believe that this was going to go in his favor. Nothing ever did. Especially when she'd just told him she couldn't let go of Lucas. He knew that in the end, Lucas would be her choice, but he couldn't help but wish it would be him.

"We can be friends." He knew that it wasn't possible, but he couldn't just sit back and watch her walk out of his life. He needed her too much for that.

She sighed, looking up to meet his eyes "I don't know if there was ever a time that we were just friends, Julian." And it was true. Looking back, she wondered if she'd loved him from day one. Something inside of her told her that she had, but she'd never know. The only thing she knew was how she felt now. And right now, she was dying inside.

He sighed, nodding his head. He knew what she was right. He'd felt it too. He wondered if even when he was dating Peyton he'd loved Brooke. A large part of him believed that he did. "So now what?"

She shook her head. "I don't know." She whispered. She knew that they couldn't go back to how things were. It wouldn't be fair to anyone. Especially to him. She couldn't keep doing this to him.

"I don't want to lose you, Brooke." He stated. That was the last thing he wanted, but yet he felt like he already had. The way she was talking, it felt like everything was so final.

She nodded. She could feel tears beginning to sting her eyes, but she blinked them away. She couldn't break down in front of him. She didn't want him to know how hard this was for her. That it literally felt like it was ripping a hole inside of her heart.

He stood up, walking around the table to sit down next to her. He took both of her hands in his hands before taking a deep breath. "We can do this, we can be friends. We can try."

She closed her eyes tightly, willing the tears away but she knew she was fighting a losing battle. The desperation in his voice was killing her. She wished there was something she could say or do to make his pain go away, but this was the way it had to be.

"You should go to New York with your mom." She told him softly. She could feel the tears running down her cheeks but she didn't care. She was tired of pretending things didn't hurt or didn't bother her. For once, she just wanted to be Brooke Davis.

He stared at her. "What? Why?" He asked quickly. She wanted him to leave?

"I meant what I said before about having feelings for you, Julian. And, I can't just be friends with you, it's too hard. And it's not fair-"

"To Lucas?" He asked, annoyed. He knew that was the reason for this. If it weren't for Lucas, things would be different. He wouldn't feel like his heart was being ripped open, he wouldn't be sitting here watching her cry, and he wouldn't feel like he was saying goodbye to the one thing that meant the most to him.

"To Lucas," She nodded. "But to us, also. Things would have to be different.." She sighed.

"So this is it?" He asked, taking a deep shaky breath. He could feel his resolve slipping quickly. When she'd text him the day before, he knew that there was a possibility something like this could happen, but he'd kept hope. He wanted to believe so bad that things would go his way. That she'd realize what she was letting go, and hold on. But he should have known.

"It has to be." She looked down again, staring at their hands. His hands were still holding hers tightly. She wished that he never had to let them go.

He nodded but he knew she didn't see him. He didn't know what to do. He didn't want to go, but he knew that he couldn't stay. He couldn't be around her and pretend like everything was ok, and normal. He wouldn't be able to stay here and not have her in his life. He couldn't watch her and Lucas together. Not when he knew she should be with him.

They sat there for several minutes before he brought her hands up to his mouth. He kissed both of her hands softly before placing them in her lap. He took a deep shaky breath before rising to his feet.

He took a step before pausing. He didn't know what to do. Knowing this may be the last time he saw her was ripping him apart inside. He didn't know if he had the strength to walk away from her.

He looked at her, and wasn't surprised that she wasn't looking at him. He could see how upset she was but he couldn't stay there with her. He knew that it would just be that much harder to leave if he stayed.

"I'll miss you." He mumbled before walking away from her. He knew his was what she wanted, and that was what was giving him the courage to leave. He would do it for her. But he wouldn't say goodbye. He couldn't say it. That was only thing he'd never be able to say. Not to her.

She turned to watch him go, her body beginning to shake in sobs. She wanted to run after him and stop him but she couldn't. She knew that she'd done what she had to do. But even though she knew that, it didn't change anything.

Her heart was still broken.

"I already miss you."

~*~

"Hey Peyton."

She looked up to see Karen standing a few feet in front of her, smiling. She'd decided to come in and visit Karen, and to pick up food to go.

"Hey Karen. How are you?"

"Can't complain." She smiled. "How are you doing? I haven't seen you in a while."

Peyton shrugged. She wasn't doing too wonderfully but she wasn't going to bore Karen with that. She didn't need to hear about her drama with Julian.

"I'm ok. Just busy with school. How is Keith?"

"He's doing great." She glanced over toward a table before smiling over at Peyton. "Excuse me for just a moment, dear."

She watched as Karen walked toward a elderly couple and within moments the 3 of them were laughing. She wished she could be as free spirited as Karen was all the time. She knew that Karen had gone through a lot to get to where she was today, but she couldn't help but be envious of her carefree attitude.

"Peyton?"

She turned around, surprised. She hadn't heard anyone come in.

"Jake! Hey. What are you doing here?" She knew that was a stupid question, but it had been the first thing that came to mind.

He smiled, though. "Just came to grab something, are you alone?" He questioned, looking around for anyone familiar.

She nodded. "All by my lonesome." She smiled, taking in his appearance. He looked good. He had a black polo shirt on and dark jeans, but the way his shirt hugged his body had her mouth dry. She shook her head. When she looked back up to his face he was smiling at her and she knew she'd been caught. _Great._ She looked away, feeling her cheeks burning.

"How about we sit?" He suggested, still smiling. He was loving this. It had been so long since he'd gotten a chance to be with just her and he couldn't be more excited about it. After everything that had been going on with her and Julian, he was ready to give up, but with the way she was looking at him now, he couldn't. He couldn't give up without giving it one more try.

He smiled again when she nodded.

"I'd like that."

~*~

"Hey Buddy."

Haley looked up when she heard Lucas approaching. She smiled. "Hey."

"How long have you been here?" He asked, looking around.

They were sitting at the Rivercourt, looking out at the water. He'd been confused when Haley called him a few minutes before, asking him to meet her there. He didn't ask for an explanation, instead he just agreed and had shown up minutes later. He knew she'd tell him whatever was on her mind.

"A while." She responded. "I needed to get away from the madness." She admitted, laughing.

Holidays were always crazy at her house, but normally she loved it. Being surrounded by her family was one of her favorite things, but today she'd just felt like she couldn't breath. She needed to get out of the house, and going to see Brooke had been the first thing to come to mind. She'd debated on it for a little while, but she didn't know if it was such a good idea. She'd barely seen her lately, and that saddened her. She remembered when they used to see each other and talk all the time, but now she couldn't remember the last time they'd actually hung out. So instead, she'd wound up here, trying to figure out what was going on. She'd sat there just thinking for over an hour before calling Lucas. She knew that was probably her only way of knowing what was happening.

"That bad?" He laughed, shaking his head. He knew how hectic it got at her house around this time of year, and normally he'd stay away unless she'd ask him to come there. It had been a long time since he'd gone to her house over the holidays. He didn't miss it.

She shrugged. "I wanted to go see Brooke." She told him, truthfully. She knew she didn't have to sugarcoat anything with him. If it had just been about her family, it wouldn't have brought her here. She would have just locked herself in her room for a little while until things settled down.

"Oh," He mumbled, looking down at his hands. He still hadn't talked to Brooke, and it had been almost a week. He felt bad, but at the same time he couldn't help but be angry. She was hiding something from him, and after the way things had gone down, he was unsure of what was next for them.

She hadn't made the effort to see him either, and while he wanted to be the bigger person and talk to her first, he couldn't seem to force himself to do just that. Instead, he waited. He wondered how long it would be before one of them cracked. He knew that he was just about at the end.

"What's going on?" She asked, softly. She didn't want to press him, but she wanted to know all the same. Brooke was one of her best friends, and she was worried about her. She felt like such a horrible friend, not being there for her or knowing what was going on, but at the same time she knew that it worked both ways. It didn't seem like Brooke had tried to talk to her either.

He remained quiet for several minutes, unsure of what to say. He didn't know what was going on, and he knew he had to talk to Brooke, sooner rather than later. Things were getting out of hand.

"I don't know." He sighed. "We haven't talked in over a week. She's been so distant lately and I feel like an ass because I'm just now realizing it." He stood up, taking a few steps closer to the water. He waited for a moment to see if she would follow, but she didn't.

She stayed silent, waiting for him to continue. She could tell he wasn't finished.

He turned toward her after a few seconds, suddenly aggravated. "I just don't get it. One minute everything is fine. Everything was fine! And the next, I go to her house and Julian is there-"

"Julian?" She questioned, surprised. Where had Julian come from? She hadn't been expecting that.

"Yes! Julian! Of all the people to see there, it's him. I mean, I don't understand. It was weird. It's still weird. I don't have any idea what to think, Hales. I just don't understand any of it, and I haven't talked to her. And that's not helping anything, ignoring eachother. But you know us. We're both stubborn and stupid and we let things like this happen, and now look. I'm going crazy!" He threw his hands in the air in exasperation, finally letting everything out. He'd been holding that in for over a week, unsure of who to talk to, or how to let it out. It felt good to finally get it off his chest.

"Why don't you talk to her?" She was still confused about why Brooke and Julian were together, but she didn't want to annoy him further. She was afraid that questioning it outloud would just put more ideas in his head, and she could tell that he already had enough.

"I don't know." He admitted with a sigh. He sat down next to her, leaning down to put his head in his hands. "I don't know what's going on, Hales. I feel like I'm loosing her, and I don't even know why." He muttered.

She frowned, rubbing his back soothingly. "Just talk to her. Maybe there's something you can say or do. You don't know that until you talk."

He nodded, sitting up. "I know."

She watched him for a second before leaning her head on his shoulder.

"How about we just sit here and forget that the world exists for a little while?" She suggested with a smile.

He laughed, shaking his head. He put his arm around her shoulders, squeezing her gently.

"That sounds like a good idea."

~*~

"So what about you're parents?" Peyton asked, taking a sip of her coffee. Her and Jake had been sitting at Karen's for over an hour, talking about some of the most random stuff, but she was having a great time. She wished that she'd taken the time to get to know him sooner. She'd never realized what a great guy he was.

"What about them?" He asked.

"Do they live here in Tree Hill?"

He shook his head. "My mom lives here, but my dad is in Charleston."

"How long have you lived here?"

"Three years, I moved here with my mom when my parents got divorced." He replied. "Have you lived here all your life?"

She nodded. "Yup. Tree Hill born and raised." She smiled.

He stared at her for a moment, taking in her appearance. He loved watching her smile. It lit up her whole face, and he couldn't help but smile in return. It was contagious.

"What?" She asked, becoming self conscious. "Do I have something on my face?" She brought her hands up, trying to hide her face from him. _How embarrassing._

Jake laughed, shaking his head. "No, I was just thinking about how pretty you are." He told her, smiling.

She felt her cheeks burning at that. "Oh." She smiled. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." He smiled. He was surprised by how easy it was to be honest with her. He wasn't normally so bold. But with her, he felt like he didn't have to worry about anything he said. He had a sense of comfort around her, and he loved it. It was a feeling that he could get used to. That he wanted to get used to.

"So, uh-" She cleared her throat. She needed to change the subject before she looked anymore like a tomato. "Nice weather we're having, huh?" She asked, lamely. She wanted to laugh at herself.

She knew that he was just giving her a compliment but her heart was racing. She wasn't used to guys giving her attention or being nice to her. Sure, she was used to Julian complimenting her, but that was different. She was used to that. _Not anymore, _a voice inside of her head reminded her, but she shook the thought away. She wasn't going to go down that path today. Not when her and Jake were having such a good time.

Words couldn't express how stupid she felt now. _Bringing up the weather? Come on, Peyton. You could do better than that._ To make it even worse, she knew the blush on her face had still not disappeared.

He chuckled at that, unaffected by her embarrassment. In fact, he was quite amused that he had such an effect on her.

"Perfect." He smiled, taking another sip of his coffee.

She could tell that he wasn't referring to the weather and she smiled. She felt her face flush again.

"So are you excited for the Classics?" He asked after a few moments, changing the subject. He could tell that she was unsure of what to say, and he almost regretted embarrassing her, but he didn't. He was glad. He knew she wasn't used to being treated with kindness and respect, and he was trying to change that. He wanted her to know this side of him, the side that always wanted to make her happy. It was important to him for her to see that this was how he was, and that she could get used to it.

She breathed a deep sigh of relief before responding. She was worried that it was going to get awkward because of her stupidness, but once again Jake surprised her. He never ceased to amaze her.

She smiled. "I am, but I don't think anyone is more excited then Brooke." She shook her head, thinking about her friend.

Jake laughed at that. "I can only imagine. I see how crazy she gets during practice. The guys and I joke that she's worse then Whitey sometimes."

She joined in on his laughter. "I think she might be." Brooke did get a little intense at practices from time to time.

"They're the same day as the championship game, right?" He questioned.

She nodded. "Yeah, It starts at 8 o'clock. We preform at 10. But I'm sure Brooke will have us rehearsing all day. We've been rehearsing like crazy and they're still 3 months away. She wants to make sure everything is perfect," She shook her head. "We'll be done in time to watch the game, though."

He nodded, smiling. "Good, I don't want you to miss it."

She blushed again, but quickly recovered. She was beginning to get used to his charm. "I don't think you guys would be able to win without our support, anyhow." She teased, reaching over to grab her coffee cup. She kept her eyes on him as she took a long sip.

He laughed loudly. It was amusing to see her playful side. He hoped that it stayed. "Is that right?"

She nodded, smiling brightly. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, but she liked it. She loved the way he was looking at her and how it was making her feel.

"Well then I guess it's a good thing you'll be there to cheer us on."

She smiled again. She couldn't believe how many times she'd smiled this afternoon. After everything that had happened with Julian the past few days, she really needed a break. She was really glad that she'd accepted when Jake suggested they have lunch. This was exactly what she needed. The two had never spent that much time together and she found herself hoping that after today, that would change.

"A good thing in deed."

~*~

She made her way up the driveway slowly, careful to be quiet. It was late, and she knew Karen would kill them both if she knew that she were at the house this late.

She'd left school earlier in the day after she'd spoken to Julian, unable to face any of her friends. She could barely see straight when she'd walked to her car, she knew she wouldn't be able to stop crying. And there was nothing she could say to make any of them understand. She just had to get out of there.

She'd gotten 4 missed calls from Lucas throughout the day, but she'd had her phone on silent ever since getting home. She needed to be alone, and talking to Lucas would just make the pain worse. It would have undoubtedly made her feel guilty for being so upset about Julian. And he would have been able to see right through her. He would know she was upset.

"Brooke?"

She looked up to see Lucas standing before her. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?" She asked softly, watching as he squinted toward her. She could tell by his messy hair and his pajamas that she had.

He shook his head, walking down the steps to stand before her. "What's wrong?" He asked, taking in her appearance. He wrapped his arms around his body, trying to protect his body from the cool air but it was no use.

She knew she looked miserable. She'd spent most of the day laying in her bed either sleeping or crying. It was nearly midnight and she'd just gotten a hold of herself maybe an hour before. She sighed. She knew she couldn't tell him that.

"Come inside, it's freezing." He took her hand, quickly leading her into his bedroom. He locked the door behind him before sitting beside her on his bed. He kept his eyes on her, waiting for her to speak. He could tell she had a lot on her mind.

"I'm sorry, Lucas." She finally told him, looking into his eyes. She needed to tell him how much he meant to her and how badly she wanted to work through this. She wished for a moment that she could be honest with him, but she knew that if he knew, he'd hate her and she couldn't take that. She would never be able to live with herself if she lost him also.

"For what?" He asked, softly. He took her hand, squeezing it gently.

Thinking about Julian had her eyes filling up with tears all over again, but she made no move to stop them. She knew she wouldn't be able to get through this without crying and for once, she didn't want to be strong. She wanted to break down, she wanted to cry. She was so tired of holding everything inside. For once she wanted to just let everything out and no have to worry about what people would say or think.

"Hey." He scooted closer to her, reaching up to cup her face. "What's wrong?" He asked, concerned. He was starting to get nervous by the way she was acting.

"I'm just so sorry." She sobbed. She felt foolish crying like this in front of him, but it felt good to finally let it out. To be able to just break down and have someone comfort her. She needed it so desperately.

He pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly. "What's going on, Brooke?" He asked, nervously. He had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach and he couldn't help the fear rising within him. She'd been acting differently toward him lately and her crying now was just making him uneasy. A part of him didn't want to know what she could be so sorry about.

"I just.. I want this to work between us and I feel like I've been a different person lately. I'm just so sorry." She buried her face in his chest, scooting as close to him as possible. She needed to feel him close to her. She needed him to tell her that everything was going to be ok. That they were going to be ok.

"You're still the same person to me." He whispered in her ear, rubbing her back softly. He wasn't going to lie, he was still annoyed about the situation, but he knew there was nothing he could do to change the past. He had no idea what was going on, but a large part of him knew he didn't need to know. He knew that he loved her and that things would work out. They had to.

She didn't answer, instead she hugged him tightly against her. She felt so guilty crying to him. She knew that if he knew the entire situation he wouldn't be there with her and the thought brought on another round of hysterics. She felt like a horrible person, letting him comfort her, when in reality it should have been the other way around. She shouldn't even be there with him like this and she knew that. She didn't deserve to be there like that. But she couldn't tell him that. She wouldn't.

It was several minutes later when she was finally calming down. She pulled away from him slightly enough to look up at him but kept her arms around his waist. When she looked into his eyes she could see the concern shining in them. "I'm sorry.."

He shook his head, wiping her tears with the pads of his thumbs. "For what?"

"For going away for a while." She mumbled. She had no better way to explain it to him. "I just.. I-" She began.

He shook his head, cutting her off. "Are you back now?"

She nodded, taking a deep shaky breath. She felt like she was on the right track on being herself again. She knew it going to take time, but as long as she had him, she felt like she had hope. She'd just have to move on and let go, before she could fully be herself again. However long that took.

He leaned in, kissing her forehead gently before leaning his forehead against hers. He pulled her into his arms again, holding her against him tightly.

"Then that's all that matters."

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**Please review! :)**


	12. Chapter 11

**Hey everyone! I'm so happy to be back! I hope that there are still people who are interested in this story after all this time. And to those of you that are, thank you so much! This next chapter was very difficult for me to start because like I said in my note a few days ago, when I reread the previous chapters, I came up with so many great ideas. So this next chapter is completely different from what I had originally planned, but I have to say that I'm extremely happy & excited for whats to come. I also want to thank everyone who read my author's note, all your kind words and all your suggestions and ideas! I loved every one of them, you are all the absolute best. I definitely think that this next chapter is the turning chapter for the rest of the story, and everything will start to make sense from here on out. It does have a jump since the last chapter. But I think that now is when it gets even better! As you will see when you read this chapter, I borrowed something from The Notebook, I just am in love with what I used. Hope you like it! Anyway, enough of my talking. Thank you so much for your continued support, you have no idea how much it means to me. As always, I hope that you enjoy the next chapter, and also leave a review of what you think! Thanks!! :)**

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**Disclaimer- Unfortunately, I own nothing and am no way affiliated with the CW or One Tree Hill.  
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Chapter 11

February 20, 2005

Walking into her bedroom, she threw her purse on her bed before sitting down in her computer chair. She placed her head in her hands, taking a few deep breaths. She was exhausted.

She knew that just coming from a lunch date with Lucas, she should of been in a better mood, but she couldn't help it. No matter how much Lucas did for her, she couldn't help thinking about _him_. And that bothered her. She'd been fairly successful in not letting her mind wander to him in the past 2 months but for some reason today, it was all she could think of. Where he was, who he was with, what he was doing. Each question plagued her mind and she was desperate for answers. Answers she knew she wouldn't get.

Looking around her room, she couldn't help but to think about the times that her and Julian had shared. She missed having him there, being able to talk to him whenever she wanted, being able to see him smile and hear his voice. Her eyes stopped at her dresser, and after staring at it for a minute, she walked over to it.

She opened the top drawer, moving a few items around until she found what she was looking for. It had been sitting there for 2 months, waiting for her to acknowledge it. Julian's letter.

It wasn't like she had forgotten about it. No it had been on her mind since she found it on her doorstep the morning he left, but it wasn't until now that she felt like she was ready. When she'd opened her door that day she knew that she couldn't bring herself to read it. The pain was too fresh. Just looking at his handwriting on the outside of the envelope now, had her heart aching. So instead of opening it and reading his words, she'd gone up to her room, placed it in her top drawer and hadn't looked back once. Until now.

She took it in her hands carefully, walking over to her bed. After several minutes she turned it over, ripping the top open slowly.

She could feel her heart pounding wildly in her chest as she took in the length of his letter. She knew this had the potential to crush her but it was too late. She didn't have the strength to put it back in her drawer and forget about it. Staring at it now, she couldn't believe she'd gone this long.

But it had to wait. If she had read it that morning, she was afraid that things might have been different. So instead of reading it right away, she placed it in her drawer and willed herself to forget about it. And it had worked. For two long months, she stayed away from that letter, half because she had forgotten, but mostly because she was afraid. She was terrified of what his words would do to her and how they would make her feel. But it was time to stop running. She would have to face it one day. And she knew today would be that day.

Taking a deep breath, she began reading. Her eyes watering after just reading the first few lines, but she kept going, unable to stop.

_Brooke, _

_First, I want you to know that I'm not writing this to you to make you feel guilty or to confuse you in anyway. I hope that it doesn't cause you any pain, but instead offer a sense of closure, as it has for me. Please know that I'm not mad at you. I never was and I never will be. I understand why it has to be like this, and while I wish there was another way, I'm not mad. In a perfect world, I wouldn't be in New York right now, or at the very least, you would be here with me. But this isn't a perfect world, as you already know. One of the most important things I wanted to tell you is that you saved me, Brooke. If it wasn't for you, I don't know where I'd be right now. Thank you for not giving up on me. I don't know if you know this, but it was because of you that my mother is alive today. You were the one who gave me the strength and support I really needed. And for that, I owe you so much. I hope that by me leaving you are finally able to find the happiness that you deserve. And just know that I'm sorry for any unhappiness that I may have caused you. _

She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes and spilling miserably down her cheeks but she didn't wipe them away. She blinked a few times until she could see his words again and continued reading.

_That was never my intention. I don't want you to be sad about this, because in truth I'm not sure that I will ever really leave you. If you let me, I will always be in your memories and if I'm lucky, in your heart as well. Because that is where you will always be with me. In my heart. I know that I never got the chance to actually tell you this but, I love you. I'm pretty sure you already knew that, but just in case you didn't, I couldn't end this without telling you. You turned my whole entire world upside down Brooke, and to be honest I wouldn't want it any other way. So please, be happy. If not for me, please do it for you. Because you deserve so much, and it's time that you saw that also. You're an amazing girl, Brooke. I hope Lucas sees that. He's a lucky man. Please don't take this as a goodbye, because I can never say goodbye to you, Brooke Davis. You will be a part of me forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you.  
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_Julian_

She took a deep shaky breath, trying to calm herself down, but there was no use. She could feel the sobs building in her chest, and for once, she let them have her. She laid down on her bed, closing her eyes tightly. She saw him as soon as her eyes were shut and the thought of him alone sent her even further into hysterics. She missed him so much that it hurt, but she didn't know what to do. She was the one who had told him to go. She was the one who had made her decision. She felt like a fool crying, now.

She didn't know how long she was laying there before she reached for her cell phone next to her. She wanted to hear his voice so badly, but she was afraid. Could she really call him? After everything? Would he be angry that she was calling him? Would he pick up? Or even worse, would he hang up on her?

She shook her head. She knew he'd never hang up on her, but she still didn't know. She had to do something. She couldn't just sit here and feel sorry for herself. Even though, she knew that was what she deserved. She deserved to be miserable, to feel all the pain that she undoubtedly caused him. She deserved more than that.

She sat up, staring at her phone. She wasn't sure if she would actually go through with it. What would she say if he picked up? Telling him she missed him wasn't fair to him, and she refused to cause him any more pain. She wanted to tell him that she read his letter, that she was sorry for everything. She wanted to tell him how much she wished that they did live in that perfect world, and that they could be together. But she knew it wasn't that easy. It would do nothing but cause them both pain and she wasn't sure she could go through any more. She felt selfish, worrying about herself at all.

Deciding to follow her heart, she quickly dialed the familiar numbers before placing the phone to her ear. It felt like her heart was in her throat as she waited for the ringing to begin. It was a second later that she realized it wasn't coming, and instead in its place was a loud blaring in her ear. Jumping back, she realized that she was receiving a call and cursed out loud.

She stared at Nathan's name for a second before quickly answering her phone. She cleared her throat, hoping to sound as happy as possible.

"Hey Nate! What's up?" She grimaced at how peppy she sounded, she hoped he didn't catch on. She placed her hand over her heart, willing herself to calm down. She didn't need Nathan asking her questions. She was so confused right now, she was afraid she might actually tell him what was wrong had he asked.

"Hey Brooke, I was just wondering what time you and Lucas will be over tonight? I tried calling his cell but I think it's off. I want to make sure everyone is here before Haley gets home."

"Tonight?" She mumbled, confused. It was a second later that it dawned on her. Her and Lucas were supposed to be over at Nathan and Haley's tonight for Haley's surprise party. "Oh, tonight! Right! Oh, I think we'll be there before 7, she gets off at 8 right?"

"Yeah, 8 o'clock." He paused, talking to someone in the back round before talking to Brooke again. "Alright, Brooke. Can you do me a favor and make sure Jake and Peyton are here around the same time?"

She smiled lightly, thinking of her two friends and how far they had come. She was happy that Peyton had finally gotten past all the Julian drama, or at least that's how it seemed. She'd made a point not to bring anything up about Julian, half because she didn't want to for Peyton's sake, but mostly for her own. She couldn't bring herself to say his name.

"Sure. We'll see you later." She told him before saying goodbye and hanging up. She looked around her room wondering what she should wear for Haley's party before getting an idea. She made her way over to her closet, scanning the contents inside. It was a few moments later that she found what she was looking for. Pulling it out of her closet, she stepped back and draped the red dress across her bed. She stopped then, running her hands over the fabric, remembering that Julian loved when she wore red.

She sat down on her bed, frowning. She placed her head in her hands and let out a long sigh. She couldn't believe she was just about to call him. What was she thinking? She couldn't think of anything good coming from it. _Besides hearing his voice._ She let out an aggravated sigh, moving to stand up but her ringing cell phone stopped her.

She looked down on her bed and froze.

Julian.

~*~

"Brooke, that dress is amazing."

It was now 7:30 and her and Lucas had just arrived at Nathan and Haley's apartment 20 minutes before. Karen had called a few minutes before, now it was a matter of waiting for Haley to get home.

She smiled at Peyton halfheartedly. "Thanks, Pey. You looks gorgeous as always." She watched as Peyton stared at her for a second, an uneasy feeling washing over her. "What?"

Peyton shrugged after a few seconds. "Are you okay, Brooke? You've been distracted since you got here."

She fought the frown that was threatening to form on her face, instead forcing herself to smile. "Ya, I'm great. Just anxious for Haley to get here." She hoped that the bright smile on her face was believable.

Peyton stared at her for a long moment before shrugging. She could tell something was off about her, but she wasn't going to push it. It was obvious that Brooke didn't want to talk about it, so she was going to leave it alone.

"Guys! I think she's coming."

"Get the lights!" Nathan whispered loudly, hiding behind the couch.

~*~

It was silent as he made his way up to the door. He could see the door was slightly cracked open and looked around to see any sign of Haley or Nathan. Seeing nothing he took a hesitant step toward the door. He wasn't sure why the apartment was pitch black or why the door was open, but he was going to find out.

Knocking loudly, he slowly pushed the door open. "Nate?" He called, squinting into the darkness. He took a step back, tensing when he heard shuffling around before the light suddenly flicked on. He blinked twice trying to refocus his eyes as he looked around. He spotted her easily, standing in the kitchen, her back to him. He knew it was her and she didn't have to turn around. He felt his heart hammering in his chest at the sight of her, he could tell she looked beautiful. His thoughts were interrupted as Nathan moved to stand in front of him.

"Julian?!" Nathan questioned, surprised. He walked toward his friend, taking in his appearance. "Julian! What are you doing here?"

Her insides were in knots as she listened to Nathan talk. It couldn't be. But she knew it was true. As far as she knew, he was the only Julian everyone knew. But still, she was terrified to turn around and look. She could feel her hands start to shake as she imagined what he looked like, and why he was here but it was another second later that she forgot about it.

"Nathan?" Haley's confused voice called as she made her way into the house, she looked around for a second, confused to see a bunch of people standing around. She scanned the room for a second before her eyes landed on her husband, standing in front of.. Julian?

"Surprise!" Everyone suddenly shouted, causing both Haley and Julian to jump slightly.

Julian looked around, suddenly feeling like an idiot for coming over. He couldn't believe that he'd ruined Haley's surprise.

"Wow. Guys... this.. this is too much." Haley exclaimed, still a little shocked. She looked around and laughed when she saw Lucas, Peyton and Jake standing by the kitchen with hats on their heads. She took a second to search for Brooke, but she was no where in sight.

"Happy birthday, Hales!" Lucas smiled, walking over to his best friend, engulfing her in a big hug. He glanced toward Julian and Nathan who hadn't moved since Julian's entrance and he could feel the anger inside of him boiling. Just the sight of him made he want to go crazy on the guy, but he pushed it away, not willing to let this ruin Haley's night.

"Thanks!" She smiled brightly, hugging him tightly, looking toward her husband. He and Julian were standing a few feet away, Nathan's hand on his friends shoulder while Julian spoke. The look on Nathan's face had her confused. He looked almost sad. It was then that she was pulled into a hug by Jake and she made a mental note to find out what was going on, and soon.

~*~

"I figured you would be out here."

She closed her eyes tightly when she heard his voice. She'd escaped from the party about 20 minutes before and was thankful to find that the balcony outside of Nathan and Haley's bedroom was empty. She figured she would have a while before someone would find her. She was afraid that it would be him to find her, but now that she thought of it, she should have known he would.

She expected that seeing him for the first time would hurt but she was surprised by just how much her heart ached when she turned to face him. She didn't speak, instead she took in his appearance. He was wearing a black long sleeved shirt and light blue jeans. His hair was a little longer than she remembered, but it didn't matter. He still looked gorgeous.

"I like your dress." He told her, softly. He smiled slightly, watching as she finally looked into his eyes. He missed those eyes.

She smiled, and it was then that she finally allowed herself to look into his eyes. She was taken aback, however, at what she saw in them. He looked miserable. She took a step toward him automatically, extending her hand as if to grasp his own but instead let it fall back to her side. "What is it?" She asked nervously, staring into his eyes. She could see the dark circles under his eyes, no doubt from lack of sleep.

"I tried calling you. I wanted to tell you I was coming. I didn't want to catch you off guard." He explained softly, looking down. He knew that he had missed her while he was gone, but now, standing before her, he wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and never let go. He felt like his heart was going to explode from his chest at any moment.

She frowned, suddenly angry at herself. When she'd seen him calling earlier, she'd chickened out. She couldn't force herself to answer the call, afraid of what would happen if she had. Now she wished that she answered the call. The look in his eyes told her there was something wrong. The sadness in his voice had her heart racing.

"Julian." She walked until she was standing right in front of him. Reaching up, lifting his chin gently, she waited until his eyes met hers. Her heart slammed into her chest when she saw his eyes shinning with unshed tears and she found herself becoming slightly choked up. Just the sight alone of him in so much pain made her want to cry along with him. "Julian, what happened?" She asked, desperately. She placed one of her hands on his cheek and the other on the side of his neck, her eyes pleading with him to tell her what was wrong.

He closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. It had been so long since he felt her skin and he'd almost forgotten how she could made him feel. He opened his eyes then, staring into her own once again. He could see the panic and concern shinning through and the sadness filled his body once more.

"My grandmother died." He whispered, softly.

She felt a wave of sadness sweep through her when she saw a few tears slide across his cheeks. "Oh, Julian. I'm so sorry." She breathed, wrapping her arms around him tightly.

He took a deep shaky breath, burying his face in the crook of her neck. He could feel every muscle in his body relaxing as he hugged her tighter. He breathed in her scent, his stomach tightening as he remembered how good it felt to be this close to her.

They stood like that for several minutes, each of them lost in their own thoughts, each of them not wanting to let go. It had been two long months since she'd felt his arms around her, and while she felt guilty for being this close to him, she couldn't help but be selfish and stay where she was.

It was her, however, who pulled away first. She took a step back, keeping her arms around him, to look into his face once more. She saw a few tears had fallen from his eyes and she reached up, wiping them away. "What happened?" She asked, softly.

He sighed, opening his eyes. "Do you remember the lady that lives next door? Sylvia?" He paused, waiting for her to answer. Once she nodded, he continued. "She called. She said that she hadn't heard from my grandma that morning, you remember how they used to have coffee every morning, right?" She nodded again. "Well, she went over, and the door was unlocked and she went in. She found her in her bed, but it was too late. The doctors said she had a heart attack in her sleep, that she didn't suffer.. But I feel so bad." He admitted, quietly. He looked down again, closing his eyes tightly, trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall.

She frowned, reaching up to lift his chin once more. "Julian, this is not your fault-"

"I should have been here, Brooke." His voice sounded so sad, so broken. It was killing her.

She pulled him toward her, hugging him tightly. "You couldn't have known." When he didn't say anything, she leaned back, putting her hands on both of his cheeks, forcing him to look at her. When his eyes didn't open, she signed. "Look at me," she demanded softly. When he did, she stroked his cheek gently with her thumb. "This is not your fault. It was her time. She's in a better place, and she's resting." She smiled softly, wiping away the tears on his cheeks.

He nodded, sighing loudly. He still felt so bad. He felt bad for leaving her, he felt like he should have been with her when she passed. He knew that he would have had no way to help her, he just felt like she shouldn't have been alone. He wished he could have been there.

"Hey, guys..."

They both froze for a second, Brooke taking a slow step backward. She watched as Julian wiped away the remaining tears on his face before turning toward the voice. "Hey Nate."

Brooke stood there, frozen in her spot, unable to move. She didn't know what was going through Nathan's mind, but she was thankful that he didn't look suspicious. She didn't know how she would be able to handle it if he questioned her about anything Julian. She wouldn't know what to say.

Nathan glanced between the two of them and almost wanted to laugh at how tense they both seemed. There was no doubt in his mind that he'd walked in on something personal between the two, but a large part of him wasn't surprised. Before Julian had left he was starting to notice a change between the two of them. He started seeing the looks between the two when no one was paying attention, or how their faces seemed to light up when the other walked into a room. He didn't think anything was going on, but he could tell that things were changing, and he was worried about them. He was worried about what it was putting them through. And when Julian showed up earlier in the night, his suspicions seemed to be confirmed when he'd seen Brooke pretty much dart from the room. When he'd realized that he was indeed right about the two, he knew that he had to talk to one of them. Not to find out everything going on, but to be there for them.

"Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go use the bathroom." Julian mumbled, looking over to Brooke for a second before walking into the house, leaving Nathan and Brooke standing in silence.

"Look, Nathan.." Brooke began after several minutes, but Nathan shook his head, stopping her. She watched as he walked up next to her, looking beyond the balcony at a few people walking by on the sidewalk below them.

"You don't have to explain anything to me, Brooke." He told her, turning toward her. "I know that something is going on, I noticed it before he left." He revealed, watching as she tensed up.

"Nothing happened, I swear, you have to know that I wouldn't do that to Lucas-"

Nathan shook his head, causing Brooke to clamp her mouth shut. "I know, don't worry. I know.." He watched as she sighed deeply in relief. "Wanna tell me what's going on?" He questioned, softly. He imagined that keeping this inside was not easy for the usually animated brunette. Keeping something like this inside, he could only imagine, was probably eating her up.

Brooke stared at him for a minute, not knowing what to do. A part of her wanted to deny it and tell him that there was nothing to tell, but the more dominant side of her wanted to finally be able to confide in someone who might understand her. Taking a deep breath, trying desperately to calm her erratic heartbeat, she chose the latter.

"I don't know where to even start." She admitted, sheepishly. He laughd softly, waiting.

When she didn't speak for a few minutes he smiled at her, encouraging her. "The beginning is always helpful." He teased, gently nudging her with his shoulder. He was relieved to hear her laugh beside him.

She hesitated, unsure if she should confide in him. It wasn't that she couldn't trust him, she was pretty sure it was on the contrary. She was just afraid that if anyone knew that somehow everyone would know. And that terrified her. She sighed. She was so tired of being afraid. So instead of being afraid, she took a deep breath and decided to be brave. She knew that she could trust him, and there was no reason to doubt that.

"Well, it started when they broke up.. Julian and Peyton." She began, watching Nathan nod. She then went on to tell him everything. From how angry she was at him for hurting Peyton, to how broken up Julian had been over his mom. She told him about all the times he stayed with her, all the times that she didn't go out with everyone because she was with Julian. She told him about how guilty she felt because she knew Peyton would hate her if she knew how close she'd gotten to Julian, when he'd hurt her so badly. She told him about when Lucas had found Julian at her house and how terrified she was that him and Julian were going to fight, and also about how that had been why she chose to calm things down with Julian. She told him about how she encouraged Julian to move with his mother, and that things with them would have to change. She told him about how badly she missed him while he was gone, and how scared she was of him being back. She told him everything.

"Wow." Nathan muttered after a few seconds of silence, taking it all in. He was right to think that something was going on, but he was surprised by just how much he and everyone else hadn't known. He felt bad for not being there for Julian during his tough times, but he found that he was glad that Brooke was. He now realized just how much the two meant to each other.

"Yeah." She breathed, sighing. She looked up at him, suddenly, causing him to look at her confused. She felt the sudden need to explain herself. "You have to believe me when I say that nothing happened, Nathan. I mean, I know that with everything, I'm in the wrong here, and I feel so bad about it. But I didn't cheat on your brother. Not physically at least." She admitted, sadly. While she knew that she hadn't done anything physical with Julian, her heart had betrayed her. Her heart had betrayed Lucas, in the worst way.

Nathan nodded, frowning. He could see how torn up she was over everything, and he felt badly for her, and for Julian. He couldn't imagine what they were both going through, and he wished that there was a way for him to help them. "I believe you, Brooke." He smiled, reaching over to squeeze her hand gently. "I guess I only have one question, then. And you don't have to answer it if you don't want to."

She stared at him, waiting. She could just imagine how many questions were going through his head at the moment. If she were in his place, she knew that she'd be asking a lot more than one question after everything she had just revealed.

"Are you in love with him?"

~*~

It was a few hours later that the party was just about over. Almost all of the guests had left, the only ones remaining at the apartment being the 6 friends. Julian had taken off over two hours ago, not really in a partying mood, much to Lucas' delight.

Brooke had been especially quiet after her talk with Nathan, lost in her own thoughts. The only time she'd made the effort to be happy or talkative was when she was around Lucas, Peyton and Haley. When Julian left a while before, all she wanted to do was go with him, but she knew it couldn't happen. There would be no way to explain that to her friends, and while she was glad that someone finally knew and understood what she was going through, she didn't want Nathan to think anything about it either.

Once the cleaning was done, everyone sat down around the living room, each one exhausted from the long day and night. Brooke had been careful not to pay much attention to Peyton most of the night, knowing how confused the blonde must have been due to Julian's unexpected return. She knew that her own head was still spinning. She was glad that no one had mentioned him all night, but it was short-lived when Haley finally voiced the question on everyone's mind.

"Well, I think I've waited long enough. And I'm pretty sure that I speak for everyone when I ask this, but what was Julian doing here?" She asked, looking toward Nathan. She knew that he knew why, and she couldn't wait any longer. Besides, she knew that her friends were just as curious.

Nathan looked around, his gaze meeting Brooke's for a moment before he turned toward his wife. "His grandma died." He told her, frowning.

Everyone gasped, apart from Brooke. She just sat there, trying to control the sea of emotions swimming through her.

"That's terrible. He was really close to her." Brooke wasn't surprised that it was Peyton who spoke first. But she still didn't look at her. She felt guilty as it was.

Jake nodded. "Poor guy. Do you know anything about the funeral and everything?"

Nathan shook his head. "I'm pretty sure he just got here, honestly. I don't think he even knows anything."

Brooke glanced over at Lucas, who had been surprisingly quiet through the conversation. She knew how much he disliked Julian, and she was sure he was a little annoyed that Julian was even brought up up. She saw small trace of sadness on his face and was slightly relieved. She was glad that he was able to put his distaste for Julian aside and realize that it was a tough time for him. She hoped that would also encourage him to either be civil with Julian or just to steer clear of him altogether. If she knew Lucas as well as she thought, she knew that he would choose the latter.

Everyone was quiet for a few minutes before Peyton stood up, causing everyone to look up at her. "Well, it's getting late, we should probably be heading out." She spoke to Jake only, but everyone knew the reason that she wanted to leave. It wasn't a secret that this was hard for her, and Brooke felt bad for her. She knew that she was just finally able to get past everything and be happy with Jake. And she prayed that didn't change. For Peyton's sake, but also for her own.

Lucas nodded, reaching over and taking Brooke's hand in his own, causing the brunette to jump slightly in surprise. "We should get going, too."

She nodded, reaching down to grab her purse before standing up, turning toward her friends. "Happy birthday, Hales." She smiled, walking over to her friend, engulfing her in a tight hug. "Love you."

"Love you too, B. Davis. I'll give you a call tomorrow." Haley promised, turning toward Lucas. "Night buddy." She smiled, giving him a tight hug.

Brooke turned toward Nathan, smiling slightly. "Good party." She teased, reaching up to hug him. "Thank you." She whispered, to which he just squeezed her tightly before releasing her from the hug. He nodded, smiling.

After saying the rest of her goodbyes, Brooke followed Lucas down to the truck before climbing in next to him.

"I'm so tired, tonight." Brooke yawned, leaning her head back against the headrest, closing her eyes.

Lucas smiled over at his girlfriend, reaching over to take her hand in his. "Do you wanna stay with me tonight?"

She inwardly cringed at how hopeful his voice sounded. Yawning again, she turned toward him with a lazy smile on her face. "I'm exhausted. And I have an early morning tomorrow. Remember my doctor's appointment?" He nodded, slightly disappointed. She squeezed his hand gently. "Rain check? I'll make it up to you."

He smiled, nodding. "I'm going to hold you to that." He warned, chuckling softly.

She nodded, looking out at the window at all the houses they passed. It was a few minutes later that he was pulling into her driveway.

She turned toward him then, leaning in to give him a tight hug. "I'll call you tomorrow." She told him, turning to get out of the truck.

He grabbed her hand gently, causing her to turn toward him. He leaned in, placing a soft kiss to her lips, before leaning back to smile at her. "Goodnight, Pretty Girl. I love you."

Her heart dropped, watching as he smiled at her, before putting the truck in reverse and driving away from her house. She stood there, watching the tail lights until she couldn't see him anymore before turning to walk to her house. She felt like such a terrible person.

She stopped then, turning toward her car. She walked over, quickly unlocking the drivers door before climbing into it and turning the car on. She had to see him.

~*~

He wasn't sure how long he was sitting on the steps of his grandmother's porch when he heard a car door slam in the distance. He didn't even bother looking up, he knew that there was a party a few houses down, but he ignored them.

He had come out here almost an hour ago, unable to be inside the house any longer. Everything he looked at, had a memory of her and it was killing him. He felt so guilty not being with her for her last moments. He felt like he had abandoned her. The thought alone had his stomach in knots.

"Hey."

He looked up quickly, surprised to see Brooke standing before him. He didn't hear her walk up.

"Hi." He responded, standing up. He watched as she walked up to him, watching him carefully.

"I hope it's okay that I'm here." She spoke softly, and he could tell she was nervous. He could feel his heart thudding in his chest at the sight of her. She always took his breath away.

He shook his head. "Of course it is." He assured her, smiling softly. He was glad that she was here. He didn't know if he would have been able to go back into the house had she not shown up. He was sure that if he were alone for much longer, the guilt would swallow him whole.

She smiled, but stayed quiet. She didn't know what to say. She felt like her heart was going to leap from her chest at any moment, she was so nervous. She didn't know what she was going to say to him the entire way over, she just knew that she had to come.

When she had first walked up and saw him sitting outside, she felt her heart break for him. She could tell he was beating himself up again, and she knew then that she had made the right decision by coming. She didn't want him to be alone right now. She hadn't thought that maybe he might want to be alone though. She shook her head at the thought. He wouldn't have told her it was okay if he didn't want her there.

"Let's go inside." She urged softly, reaching out for him to take her hand.

He stared at her hand for a second, unsure. He wasn't sure that he could go back in and face the pain.

As if sensing his uncertainty, she took a step closer to him, taking his hand into her own. "I'm not going anywhere." She vowed, squeezing his hand tightly.

He nodded, smiling down at her. He could feel a lump forming in his throat at her declaration, but he swallowed it back. He didn't want to cry anymore. So instead of getting upset again, he led her into the house, walking up the stairs until he reached his room.

She walked over to his bed, removing her shoes before climbing in his bed, waiting for him to follow.

He stood in the doorway, watching her carefully. After a few seconds, he walked over, kicking his own shoes off before climbing in next to her.

After a few minutes of silence, she felt him lay his head on her stomach and she brought her hand up to run her fingers through his hair, soothingly. She could hear the sound of his quiet sobs and she bit down on her lip, trying to control her own emotions. She could feel her own tears sliding down her cheeks as she continued to run his fingers through his hair.

She didn't know what was going to happen next, or what this meant for them. But she did know one thing.

She was right where she belonged.

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**Please review!**


	13. Chapter 12

**A/N - Heyyy! Surprised to see me? LOL. I hope you guys don't hate me too much! I had terrible writer's block, but thankfully I think I've gotten over it. I reread the last 11 chapters, and let me tell you. Man do I make a lot of grammatical errors, haha!! Anyway, here's chapter 12. I hope you guys love it, like I do! Please take a moment to let me know what you guys are thinking. Hopefully there are still some of you out there that have some love for little ole' me and for WDWGFH!! :) Enjoy!**

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Disclaimer - Unfortunately, I own nothing and am no way affiliated with the CW or One Tree Hill.

**Chapter 12**

February 22, 2006

It was two days later that Julian was officially going crazy. His mother was scheduled to fly in in just a few hours, and he was frantically cleaning up the house getting ready for the funeral the next day.

Brooke had been an amazing help. She'd been with him for 90% of the last 48 hours and he couldn't put into words how much it meant to him. They still hadn't talked about anything but he knew that time would come. She was out making the final arrangements at the funeral home, purposely leaving Julian to do the small things. He knew that she was trying to make this as easy on him as possible. He didn't deserve her.

She hadn't even been gone more than an hour and a half and he missed her already. He would be lying if he said he wasn't being selfish the past 2 days. She hadn't mentioned going to spend time with Lucas or any of the others, and neither had he. He'd been perfectly content just keeping her all to himself.

He shook his head at his thoughts. He was trying so hard not to get his hopes up, but he couldn't help it. With her around so much, it was impossible for him not to think about how much he loved her. Watching her do normal everyday things had his heart racing and he didn't know how to stop it. He didn't know if it would ever stop.

A knock on the front door pulled him out of his thoughts and he quickly made his way downstairs. He felt his heart pounding in his chest, hoping that it was Brooke on the other side of the door but a part of him knew it wasn't. She rarely knocked. The door was always unlocked for her.

Swinging the door open, he couldn't hide the surprised look that was no doubt on his face. "Peyton?" He questioned, confused.

They hadn't spoken more than two words since Julian had left for New York and he couldn't say he was surprised. The looks that she was giving him at Brooke's party pretty much told him that she wasn't happy with him.

"Hey, uh.. Can I come in?" She asked, timidly. He could see that she was nervous. She was fidgeting with the bottom of her shirt, obviously unsure of what to do with her hands. Instead of making her squirm, he nodded, stepping aside to allow her entrance.

"Can I get you something to drink?" He asked as they made their way into his living room.

She shook her head, offering him a small smile as she took a seat on his couch. She watched as he sat across from her, staring at her curiously. She could tell he was confused by her being there. To be honest, so was she. Ever since she'd seen him at Haley's party, she'd been considering stopping by to see him. After Nathan told them what was going on, she felt terrible. She knew that what he was going through was tough, and that no one should go through it alone.

She had no idea that he wasn't going through anything alone.

"So.." They both started, causing them to laugh nervously.

"I heard about your grandmother, I'm so sorry." She spoke softly, smiling sympathetically.

He nodded. He figured that had to do with her unexpected appearance. "Yeah.. It's tough. The funeral is tomorrow, I'm not sure if Nathan told you guys, but you're welcome to come."

She nodded. "We'll all be there."

He nodded, looking down for a moment. This was awkward. He didn't know what to say to her. He appreciated that she went out of her way to come see him, but it felt weird being alone with anyone besides Brooke, and that was sad. He also didn't want to lead her on. He wasn't sure how she felt about the situation and he didn't want to make anything any more awkard than it already was. He had no problem being friends with her, but he didn't want things to turn out the way they did the last time they tried that. The first time had been hard enough.

"Julian, I just wanted to tell you that if you need anyone to talk to, I'm here. My phone is always on and my door is always open." She told him after a few minutes of silence.

He looked up, offering her a small smile. "Thanks, Peyton."

She nodded, standing up. She could tell that this was as far as he was going to go. She wasn't going to force him to talk to her, if he needed her, he knew where she was.

He stood up as well, following her to the door. He opened the door, about to follow her outside when she suddenly stopped. He watched her, curiously as she turned toward him.

She hesitated, taking a step closer to him before wrapping her arms around his neck.

He tensed, surprised by the gesture. He hadn't been expecting that. He recovered quickly, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable and hugged her for a second before pulling away.

He offered her a small smile as she walked down toward her car, waving to her as she turned to look at him. He shook his head as he turned to walk back into his house.

That was unexpected.

~*~

February 25, 2006

"Hey."

Brooke looked up from her mirror at Nathan as he entered her room. "Hey." She mumbled, going back to finishing her make up. She didn't know why she was even putting any on. She knew that there was a good chance that it would all be coming off before the end of the day.

"Everyone is downstairs." He told her, sitting down on her bed.

She nodded, standing up to grab her sweater and shoes. When she was ready, she turned toward him, taking a deep breath.

He stood up, offering her his hand. "Ready?"

She shook her head. "No." She admitted honestly. She'd been dreading this for the past 3 days.

He nodded. He knew that this was a difficult situation. He couldn't even begin to understand what she was going through and worse, what Julian was going through. He knew that if he was in their shoes, he couldn't handle it.

"You want a few more minutes?" He asked her, quietly. He knew that if any of their friends downstairs heard them, they wouldn't understand why this was so hard on Brooke. As far as everyone else knew, they didn't even like each other. That was why Nathan offered to go upstairs to get Brooke. Even though their friends knew nothing about her and Julian, they could tell something was up. He was positive that whatever they were thinking couldn't be further from the truth.

She shook her head. "No. Julian's waiting." She sighed.

"It'll be okay." He reassured her as they walked down stairs.

She didn't respond.

She wasn't sure if anything would be okay anymore.

~*~

"There he is.. Should we go say hi?"

She barely heard Peyton speak when she saw him. He was standing across the room with the Priest and a woman she recognized to be his mother. She looked great. She smiled softly, seeing them together was amazing.

She was brought out of her thoughts by Nathan clearing his throat next to her.

"I guess we don't hang too much of a choice, he's coming over here."

She looked back toward Julian to see him making his was toward the group, his mother right next to him. She could feel the butterflies in her stomach dancing around as they got closer. She'd never officially met his mother. There was so many questions running through her mind as they got closer. She didn't get a chance to think too much into it before they were right in front of them.

"Hey guys. Thanks for coming." He nodded to everyone, before his eyes finally met hers. She felt her heart speed up when she saw his eyes soften. She wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold his hand through all of this, but she knew that wasn't possible. She frowned. He shot her a questioning look but was interrupted by his mother clearing her throat.

"Oh, sorry." He mumbled, laughing slightly. "Mom, this is Nathan, his wife Haley, Jake, Peyton, Lucas and Brooke." He pointed everyone out to her, purposely leaving Brooke for last. He didn't want her to make a big deal about Brooke. "Everyone, this is my mom Denise."

Brooke watched as she shook every ones hand, afraid of what might happen when she shook her own. When Denise finally got to Brooke, she closed both her hands around Brooke's outstretched hand, giving her a knowing smile and it was then that she knew that his mother knew who she was.

She was thankful that she didn't say anything more and she watched as she took a step back next to Julian's side.

"It's a pleasure to meet everyone. Thank you all for coming and supporting Julian. He's lucky to have such great friends." She smiled, letting her eyes rest on Brooke for a moment longer.

Brooke nodded once, looking up at Julian to see him smiling softly. She smiled back.

The moment soon passed as they were all told to take their seats. She followed Lucas to a few rows behind Julian, taking a seat between him and Nathan.

The service was beautiful. She sat perfectly still, not moving to wipe the tears that hadn't stopped since just a few minutes after the Priest began to speak. She couldn't take her eyes off of Julian, watching him reach up and wipe his tears every few minutes had her heart breaking. She wanted nothing more than to be there for him, but she remained where she was.

She was surprised when she heard him being introduced and as he stood to make his way to the podium her heart was pounding loudly in her chest. She was sure that Lucas or Nathan could hear it, it was so loud, but neither of them looked at her. She had no idea that he was going to do this. She watched as he cleared his throat and began to speak.

"When I was a little boy, I remember my grandmother used to read me poems. Poems that she wrote, and other poems that meant something to her. For a long time, I hated it." He paused as the room laughed with him. "But after a very short time, I started to look forward to those moments. I found this poem just a few days ago as I was going through some of her things, and though, I don't know who the author is or where it's from I thought that it was perfect for today. It's called 'Miss Me, But Let Me Go.' " He paused, taking a deep breath. He looked up searching until he finally found her eyes. He stared at her for just a second, watching as she smiled slightly as if encouraging him. He swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat before beginning to read the poem aloud.

"When I come to the end of the road

And the sun has set for me

I want no rites in a gloom filled room

Why cry for a soul set free,"

He paused, taking in a deep shaky breath. He was trying so hard to remain strong in front of all these people but he knew now that he may be fighting a loosing battle.

"Miss me a little - but not too long

And not with your head bowed low

Remember the love that we once shared

Miss me - but let me go,"

He stopped suddenly, unable to continue. "I'm sorry." He turned his back, wiping away at his tears but it was no use. He knew there was no end to them.

She watched him as he broke down, her heart breaking for him from afar. She wanted to get up and go to him, and she was tempted to do just that. She could tell from the corner of her eye that Peyton wanted to get up as well. She took a deep breath before turning to her right. She was surprised to see Nathan already looking at her. He nodded at her as if telling that it was ok and that was all it took.

She stood up suddenly, ignoring the questioning looks both Peyton and Lucas were no doubt giving her before she quickly made her way over to Julian. She took his hand in both of hers, standing directly in front of him. Julian's back was facing the group of people, his entire body was blocking her from their group of friends, and suddenly it was like they were the only two people in the room.

"Do you want me to finish?" She asked him softly. She knew that he would be the only one to hear her. It was taking every ounce of strength in her to remain strong for him. Every part of her wanted to break down and cry with him, but she knew that wasn't what he needed. He needed her to be there for him, and that was exactly what she was going to do.

He squeezed her hand tightly, nodding his head. She was the only one that could do this for him.

She nodded, reaching up and wiping away the few tears making their way down his cheeks. "Come on, stand with me." She urged, reaching down to hold his hand once more.

He took a deep breath, nodding his head before turning around to face the crowd before them. He didn't dare look at their friends, he knew that Lucas was probably fuming, but he couldn't find it in him to care. He couldn't believe that she'd come to him, but words couldn't describe how glad he was that she did.

She took a deep breath, gripping his hand tightly before she began to read the rest of the poem out loud. She was proud that her voice didn't waver once.

"For this is a journey that we must all take

And each must go alone

It's all a part of the Master's plan

A step on the road to home,"

She paused for just a second to look out at all the faces in front of them. His mother had a small smile on her face, undoubtedly happy that she was up there with his son. She barely glanced at Lucas and Peyton, both of their faces unreadable, before looking down to finish the rest of the poem.

"When you are lonely, and sick of heart

Go to the friends we know

And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds

Miss me - but let me go"

She folded the paper slowly, squeezing Julian's hand as she made her way back to where he was sitting.

When he sat down, he was shocked when she sat down next to him. He stared at her for just a second before turning toward the front of the room.

She never let go of his hand once.

~*~

"Do you need me to do anything, Mrs. Baker?" Brooke asked, walking into the kitchen.

It was about an hour later and the only people in the house were her, Julian and his mother. She'd gone home with them right after the service, not bothering to offer any one any explanation. She'd made the decision at the funeral home that being there for Julian was more important than anything, and she was sticking to that. She'd deal with everything else later.

Julian was upstairs now, laying down before everyone started arriving in just a half hour. She knew that he needed his rest.

"No honey, everything is all set. The only thing we need to do is take the covers off the food when everyone gets here. And please dear, call me Denise."

Brooke nodded, smiling softly as she took a seat at the table in front of her. She yawned suddenly, causing the older woman to laugh.

"Have you gotten much sleep?" She asked, taking a seat in front of Brooke.

Brooke blushed, shaking her head. "Not too much. It's been a busy couple of days." She responded, honestly. And it had. She'd been running around nonstop for the past 36 hours making sure everything was set for today. It was important to her that she let Julian worry as little as possible. She didn't want to make him anymore stressed than he already was.

Denise nodded, smiling. "Julian told me that you did everything for today. That was very nice of you."

She shrugged. "I just didn't want him to worry."

Denise stared at her for a few minutes, suddenly making Brooke uncomfortable.

"What?" Brooke asked quickly. "Do I have something on me?" She began wiping at her face, scared that there might be something there. She jumped a second later when Denise laughed loudly.

"No honey, of course not." She shook her head. She liked Brooke, a lot. "I can see why my son likes you so much." She told her honestly, smiling when she saw Brooke's face flush. "Does he know how you feel about him?"

Instead of panicking, Brooke sighed. She couldn't really talk to anyone about this. She'd barely even spoke to Julian about it. Sure, she'd talked to Nathan once or twice, but it was still a little strange. She knew she could trust him, but there was only so much she wanted him to know. It was bad enough that he was keeping their secret already. Well, it wasn't much of a secret now that she'd done that at the funeral home. But she didn't regret it.

She was brought out of thoughts by Denise reaching over to lay her hand on top of Brooke's. "It's okay, you know. It's not too late to tell him."

She nodded. "I know. Things are just so complicated." She didn't want to even think about how much more complicated things were going to be. She knew that her friends, with the exception of Nathan, were probably completely confused. Lucas and Peyton were probably more than confused. They were more than likely livid. How was she going to explain this to them? She had no idea. But she couldn't worry about it for long before she heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Hey. Cars are starting to pull up." Julian announced, walking into the kitchen. He looked at his mom and Brooke, and he could tell that he'd interrupted something. He frowned. He really hoped that his mother wasn't putting any ideas into Brooke's head. Things between them were confusing enough. He didn't need her adding anymore to their already complicated situation.

"Alright, well. I'm gonna go greet our guests. I'll give you guys a minute." Denise smiled, squeezing Brooke's hand once more before quickly leaving the room.

Julian took a step closer to her. "Are you okay?"

She nodded, standing up. "Are _you_ okay?" She asked, walking up to stand in front of him.

He shook his head. "No, but I will be." He answered, honestly.

She nodded again, reaching up to hug him tightly. She'd been wanting to do that all day. She sighed when he wrapped his around around her, pulling her close to him. She laid her head on his shoulder, breathing him in.

He held her to him for a few minutes before they finally heard voices in the living room. He frowned. He wasn't ready to let her go. And he definitely wasn't ready to face everyone for a second time.

As if reading his mind, she smiled up to him. "Come on. We'll go out there together." She stepped away from, reaching out to hold his hand in her own.

He nodded.

It was going to be a long day.

~*~

It was a few hours later that almost everyone had gone home. She still couldn't find Lucas. She'd seen him a few times throughout the night, but now that she was looking for him, he was no where to be found.

She knew that she needed to talk to him. It was going to be hard enough to explain everything to him as it was. She couldn't put it off any longer.

Walking out into the backyard, she looked around before spotting him toward the back of the large backyard. She took a deep breath, walking over to him quietly.

"Hi."

He turned toward her when he heard her speak but he didn't say anything. When he heard someone walking over to him, he thought it was going to be Nathan. Brooke hadn't said anything to him since before the service, and he was not happy with her. He didn't know what was going on, and if he was honest with himself, he was unsure if he really wanted to. He knew that this had the potential to end badly, and he wasn't looking forward to it.

"Lucas, I know you're angry with me right now.." She started but he cut her off, laughing.

She stared at him, confused. She expected yelling, screaming, even the cold shoulder. But laughing, that was something she didn't expect.

"Angry, Brooke? How about confused? How about shocked? I thought you hated him?" He questioned, finally letting his aggravation get the best of him.

She took a step closer to him, shaking her head. "No, Lucas. You hate him, remember? I never said that I hate him."

He shook his head. "What's going on, Brooke? I've barely even seen you say 2 words to him and then out of no where you haven't left his side all day long. What the hell, Brooke?"

"If you'd let me explain.." She paused, unsure of where to start. "I saw him a few days after him and Peyton broke up and we talked-"

"A few days after they broke up?!" He couldn't believe this. He could feel his anger reaching new levels. "Brooke that was MONTHS ago!"

She winced. She knew that she deserved his anger but she couldn't get used to him yelling at her. He never yelled at her. Except for the time that he saw Julian at her house. She shuddered at the memory.

"Wait." He said suddenly. "So this has been going on since then, that's why he was at your house?" He questioned, as if reading her mind. He laughed again. He couldn't believe this.

"Nothing has been going on, Lucas."

"Are you kidding me?" He shouted. "You've been lying to me for months, Brooke!"

"Calm down, man. Everyone can hear you inside."

Brooke and Lucas turned suddenly, surprised to see Nathan walking up to them. Brooke panicked. She didn't want him to get into trouble because of her. He was doing her a favor by keeping her secret. This was her fault, not his.

"No offense man, but I think this is between me and Brooke." Lucas warned, trying not to take his aggravation out on the wrong person.

"I know you're angry man, but it's not that big of a deal. Brooke didn't do anything wrong and this isn't the place." Nathan spoke calmly, trying to calm Lucas down.

He knew that everyone could hear them, and he knew that right before he'd come outside Julian himself was ready to come out and defend Brooke. That had been why he'd made the move to break it up. He knew that if Julian went, he and Lucas would no doubt get into a fight and that was definitely not a good idea today.

"It's not a big deal? Nathan.. you have no idea-" He stopped suddenly, his eyes narrowing. "It's not a big deal... How do you know?" He snapped. He didn't like the sound of this. And he certainly didn't like how calm Nathan was being. Everyone else seemed to be a little perturbed by Brooke and Julian's sudden friendship, Nathan however looked as if he'd already known.

"You knew."

Nathan sighed. He didn't want to get in the middle of this, but he didn't see any way of avoiding it now.

"I did." He nodded, knowing that being honest was the best thing. He also knew that it hadn't been a question, but a statement. But he answered him anyway. Lying to Lucas was not a good idea, right now. He'd see right through him and that would no doubt piss Lucas off more.

"Lucas. This isn't Nathan's fault. He was just trying to help-" She stopped when Lucas turned his glare toward her.

"He was trying to help you what, Brooke? He was trying to help you lie to me? To Peyton?" He was so angry he was beginning to see red. He couldn't believe this. "After everything he did to her, you just befriend him that easily?" He shook his head, disgusted. He couldn't count the amount of times that she'd told him how badly Peyton was hurting.

"Or were you already friends with him to begin with? Hiding it from everyone since day one?"

She shook her head quickly. "No! Lucas. I never hated him. You know that I never hated him. And when he hurt Peyton, I honestly wanted to kill him. I wasn't lying, but things changed. He just needed a friend-"

"And that friend had to be you?" He snapped, cutting her off again. "What about Nathan? Or was he not pretty enough for him? Or better yet, is this to get back at me? Is that what this is?"

Brook shook her head, beginning to get aggravated. "Of course not, Lucas! It's not like that, at all." She took a deep breath. "I told you, I talked to him. There was stuff going on." She stopped, unwilling to share Julian's personal business. She knew that he didn't want anyone to find out.

"What stuff?" He asked, staring at her. He'd all but forgotten that Nathan was standing just a few feet away. He didn't care anymore.

"It's not my business to tell Lucas, but you have to know that nothing ever happened. I wouldn't do that-"

"You wouldn't do what, Brooke? You wouldn't lie?" He shook his head, taking a step backward. "Well it's a little late for that isn't it? You've been lying to me for months." He turned toward Nathan. "Both of you."

She shook her head, taking a step toward him but Lucas put his hand up stopping her.

"I have to get out of here. I-" He shook his head again, starting to walk toward the side of the house. "I can't even look at you." He muttered before walking away from them.

"Lucas!" She called, ready to go after him. She stopped when Nathan grabbed her arm.

He shook his head sadly. "Let him cool down, Brooke. He'll come around."

She felt like her legs were going to give out on her at any minute. She couldn't believe this was happening.

When Nathan let go of her arm she was sure that she was going to fall but a new set of arms wrapped around her. She didn't have to look up to know it was Julian.

"He hates me." She muttered under her breath. She wasn't sure if anyone heard her. She didn't care.

She took a deep breath, feeling herself start to break down. The tears that were stinging her eyes just a moment before were not spilling down her face. She made no move to wipe them away.

"Come on, let's go inside." Julian whispered into her ear, gently leading her toward the back door.

When they got inside, she sat down on the couch, her body felt like it was moving on autopilot. She felt him wrap his arms around her again and she felt the rest of her control slipping away. She didn't know if anyone else was there, she didn't open her eyes to find out.

She could feel the sobs taking over as he held her tightly against him. She could vaguely make out his words as he softly rubbed circles on her back, trying to calm her down.

It was minutes later that she was finally able to make out some of his words and when she did, she started to sob harder.

"It's gonna be ok, Brooke. I promise."

It was the one promise she was unsure he could keep.

It wasn't going to be ok.

She could feel it.

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**Let me know what you think! Thanks :)**


	14. Chapter 13

**A/N - Hey guys, sorry this is so short! But a lot of stuff happens in this one, I didn't want to overload it. I hope you guys chapter 13, we're getting really close to the prologue. Maybe 2 chapters away, actually! Exciting :) I just wanted to thank everyone that reviewed the last chapter. You guys really make me smile :) So without further adieu! Enjoy :)

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Disclaimer - Unfortunately, I own nothing and am no way affiliated with the CW or One Tree Hill.

**Chapter 13**

February 29, 2006

It wasn't until Monday afternoon that Brooke finally saw Lucas and the rest of their friends. She'd successfully avoided the arguments and cold shoulders for 2 days but today she had no choice. It was just a few weeks until the cheer leading competition and she couldn't afford to cancel practice for her own personal reasons. No matter how much she was dreading seeing Lucas and Peyton.

Nathan had been the only one she'd spoken to besides Julian all weekend. He'd called Julian early Saturday morning, just two days after everything happened, to make sure she was ok. She wasn't, but she had felt a lot better. It was because of Julian that Brooke wasn't a crying miserable mess all weekend. She couldn't count how many times she'd cried to him in the past 72 hours. How he'd put up with her, she'd never know.

It was then that the gym doors opened and people started making their way inside. She'd gotten there 15 minutes early, wanting to mentally prepare herself for what she knew was going to be 2 hours of complete torture. It was times like this that she wished Julian was still at school with them. She sighed. He wouldn't be able to help her regardless. That would no do nothing more than fuel the fire, she was sure of that.

As soon as she saw Haley and Peyton walk into the gym, Brooke took a deep breath and mentally promised herself she was going to make the best of the practice. She had a job to do, and she was Brooke Davis. She wasn't going to let any drama get in the way of her trophy. She scoffed at the idea. They'd worked too hard to let it all slip down the drain.

Squaring her shoulders, Brooke turned toward her squad. "Alright ladies, I want you guys to make sure you stretch out good today. I'm not going to lie to you. Your muscles may not like you in the morning." She smiled as a few of the girls openly groaned. She, too, wasn't looking forward to the brutal practice, but she was going to suck it up.

2 hours of complaining, whining, sweat and loud music later, practice was finally done. Brooke was wiped. Not only had she just gone through her most difficult practice as captain, but neither Haley or Peyton had looked in her direction for the entire 2 hours. She was beyond frustrated. She knew it was the exhaustion talking, but that didn't stop her aggravation. She had to talk to them.

Pulling her duffel bag strap across her shoulder, Brooke turned toward her two friends, making her way over to them before they could exit the gym. Things needed to be said, and they needed to be said now. As far as Brooke was concerned, things couldn't get any worse. So no matter what they said, things wouldn't change. She might as well let Peyton and even Haley, take her frustration out on her now and let them get it over with.

As she approached them, she could swear she heard them both sigh in aggravation. Her appearance was obviously of no surprise. But that didn't stop her or make her turn away.  
She waited until they were both facing her before she spoke.

"Look, I know you guys are mad at me, and that's fine. But this-" she paused, waving her hand between her and her two friends. "This is not going to help during practice. So, if you have something to say to me, have at it." She was proud of herself at how strong her voice sounded. On the inside, she was a nervous wreck. She hated confrontation, and lately it was like she was a magnet for it. While she hoped that it would soon come to an end, she wasn't naive enough to believe that it would. It wasn't going to blow over that easily.

When Haley was about to say something, Peyton put her hand up to stop her. "I just want to know one thing, Brooke, and then I don't even want to hear about this again."

Brooke nodded, slowly. In her mind, this could go either way. Peyton could ask her a simple question that required a simple answer, or she could ask her a question that Brooke would have no answer to. She hoped she had an answer.

"Did you sleep with him?"

Both Haley and Brooke stared at Peyton in shock. That hadn't been what they were expecting obviously.

"No." Brooke responded, but she knew it wasn't that easy. While she hadn't slept with Julian, things had still happened. Sure, she hadn't physically done anything with him, but emotionally she felt just as guilty. Just because they didn't sleep together didn't make things any less important.

Peyton stayed quiet for a few moments, seeming to think it over before finally nodding her head slowly. "Ok."

"Ok?" Brooke repeated, confused. That was all she wanted to know? There was so much more to it than that. Peyton had to know that.

"Yes, Brooke. I honestly.. I can't even comprehend what's going on right now. My mind.. it's a mess, and I can't pick one thought to focus on. And honestly, that was the one thing that has been eating at me all weekend, so if you don't mind.. I'd rather not bring it up anymore. If you guys are going to be friends, fine. Be friends."

Brooke paused, unsure of what to do. She knew that she needed to tell Peyton the truth, but she had to talk to Julian first. They needed to be on the same page. For now, she knew she would leave it alone, but she knew that things needed to be talked about.

And soon.

~*~

"Hiding out?"

Brooke laughed, staring out at the water before her. She didn't turn around, she figured he'd eventually find her. It was right after practice that she found herself walking toward the Rivercourt. A part of her was hoping to find Lucas here so they could finally talk, but she knew that a more dominant part of her was relieved that he wasn't. She knew they needed to talk sooner or later, and the more nervous part of her was hoping for a later conversation.

She smiled when Julian sat next to her, turning toward him. She shrugged. "Something like that."

He nodded, knowing she would offer no more. They settled into a comfortable silence, each of them lost in their own thoughts. He wanted her to talk to him, but he didn't want to push her. It was confusing enough as it was, he didn't want to add her being upset with him to the mix.

Several minutes went by before Julian finally broke the silence. "How was school?"

Brooke groaned, the mention of her long day bringing on the aggravation she had felt a few hours before. "Awful. I don't even know where to start." She huffed.

Julian stared at her, amused. "Well, the beginning is always helpful." He teased, gently bumping her shoulder with his own. He laughed when she turned her glare toward him.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." She rolled her eyes, laughing despite herself. He was such a pain in her butt.

"Hey, I do what I can." He shrugged, grinning at her. He watched as she sighed and turned her attention toward the water in front of them once more. He didn't have to wait very long before she finally spoke.

"I talked to Peyton," She paused to look over at him. When he didn't move or say anything she continued. "She asked me if we slept together." She admitted quickly. For some reason, admitting that to him was embarrassing.

She was surprised when he started to laugh a few seconds later. "What's funny? Julian!" She smacked him on the arm, shaking her head. She didn't find any of it funny. The fact that Peyton had thought that, she couldn't imagine what Lucas had going on in his head. She didn't want to think about it.

"Sorry." He apologized, though it took another minute before he stopped laughing. "Continue," He smiled at her.

"Anyway." She huffed, shaking her head in aggravation. She could feel the corners of her lips threatening to smile back at him but she fought it. They needed to talk about this. "I told her no, but she wouldn't even let me talk really. She pretty much waited for my answer and when I gave it to her, that was it. The conversation was over." She stood up, suddenly unable to sit still. Thinking about it was just so irritating. "Everyone gets mad at me and at you for not saying anything, but it isn't like they're letting us talk! I tried talking to her, but would she let me? No! What am I supposed to do, now? Pretend like everything is ok? I can't do that. They finally know Julian, and I refuse to just ignore everything and pretend like the past few days haven't happened. Or the past few months, for that matter."

He knew what she meant. He'd been scared all along that she'd want to forget him after everyone found out about them. To say that he was relieved to hear that she had no intention of doing so, was an understatement.

"So what now?" He found himself asking He was almost afraid of her answer, but they had to talk. They'd been avoiding this for too long. Things needed to be sorted out and they couldn't dance around it anymore.

She was silent for a few long moments. When she finally spoke, he was surprised to hear her voice cracking, "I don't know."

He turned toward her, watching her reach up to wipe away a few tears from her face. His heart broke at the sight. "Brooke.." He reached for her, taking her hand. He grasped her hand tightly.

"What are we doing, Julian?" She cried, finally allowing herself to break down. She'd been holding this in for so long.

"C'mere." He murmured, scooting closer to her. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, bringing her close to him. He hated to see her like this.

It was then that she felt the walls inside of her crumble. She was exhausted. It had been a long few months of keeping secrets and stressing out over them. She couldn't take it anymore. She didn't have the strength for it. She grasped his shirt tightly, the sobs wracking her small frame.

He rubbed soothing circles on her back, whispering words of comfort into her ear. Seeing her like this was killing him. He could swear he felt his heart literally breaking for her.

Julian was thankful when her sobs started to subside after a few long minutes. He leaned away to look into her eyes, frowning when he saw the sadness in them. Keeping one arm tightly around her shoulders, he slowly brought a hand up to wipe away her tears. He looked deep into her eyes, wanting nothing more than to take away her pain. He couldn't take it.

Slowly, he leaned forward until his forehead was gently pressed against her own. He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. He brought his arms around her again, rubbing his hands up and down her bare arms. He loved being this close to her. He wished he could close the small distance between them and finally claim her lips with his own, but he didn't. He couldn't do that to her right now. It would do nothing to help the situation.

"Julian.." Her fragile voice broke him out of his thoughts and he sighed. He brought his arms around her, holding her close to him and took a deep breath.

"Hmm?"

"Please don't leave." Her voice was just barely above a whisper and if he hadn't been so close, he might not have heard her. His heart began to pound in his chest as he took in her words. He didn't know what to say. He had a flight out the next afternoon.

He let out a deep shaky breath, leaning away from her just enough to look into her eyes. He waited until her eyes opened to meet his before he spoke.

"Brooke?" His voice shook with indecision. He needed her to keep talking. To explain what that meant.

She took another breath, looking away from him for a few seconds. When she finally looked up, his heart sunk when he saw her glossy eyes shining back at him. He wished he could make this easier for her, but he didn't know how. He was at a loss.

"I can't handle it if you leave again, Julian." She admitted, looking deep into his eyes. "I can't lose you this time. I don't know what's going to happen today, or tomorrow or a week from now. The one thing I do know is that I can't let you leave tomorrow-" She hesitated, but not for long. She needed to get this out. She leaned away from him, letting his arms fall from around her to grasp his hands tightly with her own. She squared her shoulders, taking a deep breath before continuing, "Julian, I cant let you leave tomorrow without telling you how I feel."

He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. He waited with baited breath for her to continue.

"I know I've told you this before, but you completely came out of no where. I didn't expect you. I can honestly say that I thought I'd be with Lucas forever," She paused when he tensed at the thought. She squeezed his hands, offering him a small soothing smile before continuing. "Until you came into the picture." She added, watching him visibly relax. When she felt him squeeze her hands tightly, she found the courage to keep going. "I love you, Julian. There's no other words for it. I can offer you a million reasons why this is wrong and why this might not work, but I don't care about any of them. Because the only thing I care about right now is that you stay-" She reached up, placing both of her hands on either side of his face. "stay here with me."

He sighed, releasing a breath he was unaware that he'd been holding in. He had so many words on the tip of his tongue, it was difficult to pick what to say first. He couldn't explain the feeling coursing through his veins. This was what he'd been waiting for, and to know that he was finally getting it, the feeling was indescribable.

When he didn't say anything right away, she felt herself panic. Had she been wrong to assume that he felt the same way? Maybe she should have made sure before she said anything. She didn't know what she was going to do if he left after this.

She didn't get a chance to worry about it very much before he was pulling her into a bone crushing hug. She wrapped her arms around his midsection, burying her face into the crook of his neck. She sighed deeply, closing her eyes tightly.

They stayed like that for what felt like hours before he pulled away from her, looking into her eyes and smiling. "I love you too, Brooke."

The smile that he received in return had his heart thumping against his chest. He loved her. And she loved him too. He couldn't help the excitement coursing through his veins at the thought. He was sure he was going to wake up from this dream at any moment. He wasn't fully convinced this was actually happening.

"I'll talk to Lucas." She promised, breaking him away from his thoughts. "I have to tell him the truth." She sighed, closing her eyes tightly. Just the thought of that conversation made her want to cry again. That was going to be one of the most difficult conversations she'd ever had. That next to telling Julian to move to New York in the first place. That had been difficult.

"Brooke.. I have to go back to New York tomorrow-" He paused when she looked at him with wide eyes. He was quick to continue. "But I'll come back. I have to talk to my mom about this, and this isn't something that should be said over the phone." He let go of her hands to bring his own up to rest on her shoulders. He squeezed them gently, watching her sigh in relief.

She nodded. "For how long?" She asked, nervously. She didn't know how long she could survive without him.

He shrugged. "I don't know. Hopefully not too long. I have to get things settled with my mom, and my grandma's house and school.." He sighed, realizing how difficult this might be to accomplish.

"I'll help you. With whatever you need." She promised, taking his hand once more. "We'll do this together."

Julian nodded, pausing when he realized something. He didn't want Brooke to deal with the backlash while he was gone. That wasn't fair. He knew that once they told their friends, there was a large chance that they wouldn't understand. In fact, he fully expected them not to understand. The only person that would be on their side would be Nathan, much to Julian's dismay. He didn't want Nathan to get in the middle, even though he knew Lucas was already pissed at him. He didn't want Nathan to get any more trouble from this. This had nothing to do with him, and it was unfair.

"Brooke, I want you to wait to tell everyone about us."

She was confused. "Why?"

"Because, if you tell them soon, I'm still leaving tomorrow. I wanna be able to be there for you. You shouldn't have to go through any of this alone."

She smiled slightly at his concern. She could feel her heart swell at his words, and she squeezed his hand tightly before nodding. "As soon as you get back?"

He nodded.

"As soon as I come back. We'll tell them."

~*~

Hours later, Brooke was at her house when there was a knock at her door. She knew it wasn't Julian, they had already said their goodbyes that afternoon. He had a lot of packing to do, and last minute arrangements for some of his grandmothers things. It had been tough, and lots of tears on her part, but she knew he would come back. He had to come back.

She could feel the butterflies swimming in her stomach as she thought of him. He loved her. The thought made her giddy all over again. She wanted to open the door and tell the person on the other end. She wanted to scream it off of roof tops, and share it with the world.

She felt her excitement literally fly away and guilt take its place when she opened the door to see Lucas standing there with what looked like a dozen white roses in his hands. Her favorites. Her stomach dropped all the way down to her feet.

"Hi." He said softly after a few minutes of silence. He could tell she was surprised to see him, but glad to see she wasn't angry with him.

He'd spent the past few days thinking of what he wanted to do, and he'd come to the conclusion that he couldn't let this get between them. He loved her too much. They'd survived tougher things, and he knew they were stronger than this.

"Hi." She cleared her throat, finally finding her voice. "They're beautiful." She whispered, looking down at the flowers. She felt like her earlier happiness and excitement was years ago. This was going to be so much harder than she thought.

"They're for you." He smiled, handing them to her. He watched her close her eyes as she took in their beautiful scent. "I'm sorry," He said suddenly.

She looked up, alarmed. "For what?" He had nothing to be sorry for. She was the one who should be apologizing.

"For everything. Not being there, not letting you tell me what was going on. I can be a real jerk." He laughed, nervously scratching the back of his neck.

She bit her lip, her eyes burning with unshed tears. She felt terrible. "Please, don't apologize." She couldn't take it.

"Well, then can I tell you that I love you?" He took a step closer to her, reaching out to hold her hand in his. He was glad when she didn't pull away from him. "Can I tell you that I just want to forget all of this, and just hug you because I've missed you like crazy?"

She was a terrible person. She really really was. Everything inside of her was screaming to tell him the truth, but she shoved it down. Julian would be back soon. The waiting was going to kill her.

She knew she was crying now, but she couldn't help it. It felt like a piece of her heart was literally breaking. Deep inside, she knew it was. The part that Lucas held onto was aching and she wished she knew how to fix this. How to make this better for him.

When he reached up to wipe away her tears, she leaned into his touch, closing her eyes. "I love you, too." She finally whispered. And she did. She knew that she was always going to love Lucas. He was her first love, her first real relationship. She was telling Julian the truth when she'd said that she thought was going to be with Lucas forever. She'd been positive that he was her future, and to know that wasn't the case anymore, it hurt. It hurt so bad.

He sighed, wrapping his arms around her tightly, holding her close.

For the second time that day, she felt herself break down. She could feel the guilt suffocating her, and she had no way of stopping it. She didn't know if she could do this to him. He didn't deserve this. No matter what, Lucas was a good guy. He deserved someone that wasn't going to break his heart.

She felt terrible, knowing that was exactly what she was going to do. She didn't deserve him, and she didn't deserve Julian. She'd put the both of them through so much already. And to make it worse, she knew that it wasn't going to end anytime soon.

This was just the beginning.

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**Please review! :)**


	15. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hi guys! So sorry about the double update. I think is being wacky right now because I tried saving the changes and it wound up posting the unedited version. This is actually my 3rd time trying to post the correct version. Third times the charm, I hope! Haha! Anywayy, how are you guys? I hope you guys are still out there. So so so sorry for the wait, I had a terrible case of writers block & I know a lot of you guys know how much that sucks. That and I was losing interest in the show this past season, it was so hard. But, I'm happy to say, I finally watched the last few episodes of the season and after seeing Brooke and Julian together again, I had to get back to this. :) This next chapter is really short, and I apologize but it was neccesary. I'm happy to tell you that the 2nd half of this chapter is actually the beginning to the prologue now. We're finally all caught up! Anyway, enough talking. Happy reading! Please don't forget to let me know what you think.**

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**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

Chapter 14

March 6th, 2005

"I'll be there in a few days, I promise."

It had been over a week since he'd flown back to New York and with every day that passed, Brooke's heart became heavier and heavier.

This was not an ideal situation. She felt like the dirt under a person's shoe. She'd been lying to everyone for months, and in just a few short days it was going to blow up right before their eyes.

She frowned, though she knew he couldn't see her. "I know Julian, I just miss you, that's all."

It was a long moment before she heard him sigh into the phone. "I know, sweetie. I miss you, too. I wish I could be there with you right now. I would if I could."

She knew that he'd been feeling guilty ever since he left. He'd told her that he felt terrible that she was here to deal with all of this alone. Granted, none of their friends really knew what was going on, but he could tell how much the lying was getting to her. It wasn't fair to her, and he was afraid of what it would be like for her when they finally did tell their friends.

"I wish you could, too. What time does your flight get in?"

"Uh… I think it was 7:00. You're gonna be at the game, right?"

"Yeah. It'll just be starting, I think. I have to look at the schedule."

That was another thing that was stressing her out. The championship game for the guys was just 3 short days away, and more importantly the Classics were that morning as well. She'd been going crazy practicing with her squad, running the girls ragged for 3 hours almost every day. She was sure that they were all about to kill her. She wouldn't have blamed them.

"Well, I'll see you afterward, right?"

Brooke paused. She wasn't sure how that was going to work. "I hope so." She would leave that for later to worry about. She just needed to figure out a way to get away from her friends. If they won the game, she was sure everyone was going to want to go out and celebrate. There was no way she could escape from that. And if they lost, Lucas was going to be bummed.

"Alright, go get some sleep. Call me tomorrow when you get home, ok?"

"I will." She paused, biting her bottom lip. Getting off the phone with him was becoming one of her least favorite things to do. She was never sure when she'd get to talk to him again.

"Sweet dreams, baby. I miss you."

She closed her eyes. His voice was so sad. "I miss you, too. Good night."

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March 10, 2005

"Rise and shine, Tigger!"

Brooke groaned, rolling over to bury her face in her pillow. It was too early. She'd been sure to set her alarm the night before and she had yet to hear it go off. "Do you have to be such a pain in the ass in the mornings?" She grumbled.

Haley laughed. Brooke was always such a grouch in the mornings. It was highly amusing. "Get up, Brookie Monster. It's almost 7:30."

She smiled to herself as she walked to the bathroom, listening to Brooke mumbling into her pillow. She couldn't understand what she was saying, but she knew it wasn't nice.

"Do you put a little something extra in that coffee of yours, Haley? You're way to Suzzie Sunshine right now. It's scaring me." Brooke grumbled as she entered the bathroom and began brushing her teeth next to Haley.

"Well, maybe if someone didn't have all of us in bed by nine o'clock last night, I would have been able to sleep until the alarm." Haley teased. She still thought it was amusing that Brooke had them all in bed at 9 o'clock the night before.

Brooke merely shrugged. "We needed our beauty sleep. Tutor boy was just fine without you last night. I got a text from Lucas around midnight that they'd just gotten in from swimming. Slackers."

"Are you nervous?" Haley asked after several seconds of comfortable silence. Brooke had been eerily at ease for the past 24 hours. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't a little nervous. She'd been expecting Brooke to be marching around barking orders at everyone at the butt crack of dawn.

Brooke shrugged. "There's no reason to be nervous. We've worked our asses off. All I can do now is hope that it pays off." She waited a few seconds and when Haley didn't respond, she glanced over to find her friend staring at her. "What?"

"What's going on with you lately? You know you can talk to me." It was just too odd that Brooke was so at ease with everything lately. Not that anyone was complaining, but Haley knew better. Something was up, and it had been like that for a few weeks now. She couldn't put her finger on it, but things had changed lately.

"I'm fine, Haley. Seriously, you girls have done amazing the last couple of practices. I'm just proud of you, that's all." She didn't give Haley a chance to respond, and walked out of the bathroom to get changed. She hated lying. After this entire thing blew over, she made a vow to herself that she was never going to lie again. It was just too stressful.

"I'm gonna go see if Peyton and the girls are up. I'll see you later?" Haley asked, walking toward the door to their room.

Brooke nodded, but didn't say anything.

Haley shook her head and walked out into the hallway of the hotel they were all staying at.

There was something up with her, and she was going to find out what it was.

* * *

"Hey. We're about to go on, I just really wanted to talk to you." Brooke whispered into her cell phone, looking at her friends from across the locker room. She was far away enough that she knew they wouldn't hear her.

Julian sighed on the other end. She felt her stomach drop all the way to the floor. That was not a good sign.

"Brooke, I can't come tonight."

She could swear that her heart had completely stopped by that point. He couldn't come?

She'd been going absolutely crazy for the past 11 days, and all of a sudden he couldn't come?

"You're kidding, right?" She knew he wasn't.

"You know I want to, there's just a few more things I need to do." He whispered, pleading with her to understand.

"Julian, you promised me. You promised me that you would be here tonight."

"I know, babe and I'm sorry. Lindsay just needs me to finish this last project before I leave-"

"Lindsay? Are you f*n kidding me right now, Julian?"

"Come on, sweetie. You know it's not like that." He frowned. He'd explained to her 10 times that he was not interested in his boss. She was a few years older than him, and a great mentor for the last few weeks he'd been working at the local newspaper in New York. He knew that Lindsay was interested, but he'd made it known from the start that he was seeing someone.

"No, Julian. You keep telling me that, but it is like that. For her it is. I can't believe you're doing this to me right now. You know I'm about to go perform." She fumed.

Just as he was about to say something she suddenly cut him off again.

"You know what. I don't even know why we're doing this. Why don't you just stay with your precious Lindsay and finish her stupid project and we can just forget about this. Obviously that seems to be more important to you anyway." She knew she was overreacting but she couldn't help it. She felt like she was literally counting down the minutes til she saw him and hearing him tell her that he wasn't even coming now was killing her.

"Brooke, come on. Stop that. You know you're important to me. It's just that she's doing me a favor, getting me that job in Tree Hill. I feel bad just up and leaving. I didn't even give her a full two weeks notice."

"Whatever, Julian. Just stay in New York for all I care." She knew that she was blowing this out of proportion but she couldn't find it in her to care. She was practically seeing red.

"Brooke, please-" His voice was so pained and for a moment, she almost gave in.

But she didn't.

"Goodbye, Julian."

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**A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed! Please don't hate me. :) Don't forget to review! **


	16. Chapter 15

**Hey guys! I'm back again. I know, I know. I'm surprised too, haha! Since posting the last chapter was such a pain in the butt, I realized that I accidentally wrote "2005" rather than "2006". Let me clear that up, just in case. We are now in present time, which in the story is 2006. Sorry for any confusion. I'm not gonna say much here, just want to thank those of you who are still reading & reviewing. You guys are amazing! Thank you so much! Now, without further ado, here's the next chapter.**

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Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Chapter 15

March 10, 2006

"Goodbye, Julian." As soon as she shut the phone, she knew she had just made a mistake. The backround on her phone stared at her, reminding her of what she had just done. She didn't want him to stay in New York. That was the last thing she wanted. She wanted him here, with her, in Tree Hill. She had to fix this.

Glancing over her shoulder, she checked to make sure she was still alone before quickly typing out a text message to Julian. She knew she didn't have much time. Scanning her words as quick as possible, she pressed send and was about to turn around when she heard Peyton behind her.

"Brooke?"

Brooke spun around quickly, her heart racing as she noticed how closer her friend was standing.

Peyton stood there, staring at her expectantly.

"Peyt, you scared me half to death." She laughed nervously, wondering if maybe she had overheard her conversation with Julian, or worse, might have seen the text message she just sent. She quickly dismissed the idea, she was alone, she was sure of it. And she had been turned around when she sent the message. There was no way she could have seen.

Peyton stared at her, confused. "Brooke, we're on in 10 minutes. Don't you think we should get out there?"

Glancing down at her watch, she was surprised to see that Peyton was right. She'd completely lost track of time while she was having her brief melt down over Julian.

"Yeah, yes! Thanks Pey." She offered her friend an encouraging smile before walking quickly over to the other girls. "Let's go ladies.. Show time!"

Haley looked over and saw Peyton staring after Brooke with a confused look on her face. "What's up?" She questioned, leaning down to finish tying her shoe laces.

"Something's up with her. Something she's not telling us."

Haley nodded, though she was unsure of what to say. She didn't want to say that she too had noticed something going on with Brooke. Something was definitely going on, and she just knew that it wasn't something small and simple. It was something big. And she was fairly positive that they'd learn about it soon enough.

Julian stared at his phone, unable to believe what had just happened. He knew she'd be upset with him, but for her to tell him to stay in New York. That had just about killed him.

He paced back and forth across his room, trying desperately to figure out what to do. He still hadn't cancelled his flight back to Tree Hill, but he really needed to help Lindsay out. This wasn't even about her. It was about his job. Lindsay had pulled a lot of strings for him to be able to start working in Tree Hill so easily.

But he knew that Brooke meant more. She'd always mean more.

Sighing, he sat down on the edge of his bed, burying his face in his hands. Girls were so complicated.

He glanced toward his cell phone when he heard the notification ringer go off.

He picked it up, opening the text message as fast as he could as soon as he saw who it was from.

Almost as soon as he read it, he was out the door. He needed no more encouragement than the few words she'd sent him. But those words were all he needed to know what he was going to do.

I love you.

"This game is so exciting!" Haley squealed as the Raven's scored yet another basket. Peyton and Brooke shared an amused look over Haley's enthusiasm. It wasn't often that Tutor Girl got excited over sports.

It was the 4th quarter and the Raven's were still down by 4. There was just a few minutes left to the game, and the crowd was literally at the edge of their seats. It was one of the most exciting games that Brooke had ever been to.

It would have been a lot more exciting had she not been a nervous wreck for the last 30 minutes.

She didn't need to turn around to know he was there. The air had practically changed the minute he walked into the gym.

She knew that he would come, but she hadn't expected him to come to the game, where Lucas was. Where Peyton was.

"Go Ravens!" Brooke yelled, attempting to distract herself from the presence behind her. It was taking everything inside of her to not turn around. Just to look at him. She'd missed him all week, and to know he was just a few feet away, it was killing her.

She glanced toward Peyton, wondering if she'd seen him yet, but she could tell by the excited smile on her face that she hadn't. She was pretty sure, if Peyton had noticed him, at least her and Haley would know by now.

"The guys are on fire tonight!" Haley exclaimed, causing Brooke to look over just in time to see Lucas shoot toward the basket. 2 points.

At the sight of him, Brooke felt her heart sink. She felt like such a terrible person, knowing that she was going to hurt him. She didn't just feel like a terrible person, she WAS a terrible person. And a terrible girlfriend, at that.

It was a few minutes later that Brooke was brought out of her daydreaming by Haley yelling and then taking off toward Nathan.

Lucas was running toward her in the next second, and she knew that they had won. She felt her pulse quicken as he hugged her tightly, twirling her around in circles in excitement.

"Congratulations, Broody." She smiled at him, ignoring the voices in her head that were screaming at her that she didn't deserve this perfect man before her. She knew.

"Thanks, Pretty Girl." He smiled before leaning in and kissing her tenderly, taking his time to fully appreciate this moment.

She allowed herself to get lost in the feel of him, in the scent of him, because she knew it was about to be over. She was going to lose him, and it was no ones fault but her own.

She could feel the tears stinging her eyes at the thought and she quickly blinked them away, unwilling to break down in front of Lucas. This was his night.

"You ready to go?" He asked, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

She nods, still feeling the lump in her throat. She knew that if she spoke now, it would be all over. She'd break down right then and there.

As they walked toward the double doors, Brooke glanced to her right and saw Peyton smiling and laughing, wrapped up in Jake's arms and talking to his parents. She still hadn't seen him.

As her and Lucas were about to step through the doors, Brooke finally turned around and spotted Julian across the gym. She felt her heart break at the sight of him. From where she was standing, she could see all the pained look on his face, and she hated it. She wished she could just go to him, to comfort him, but she knew that she couldn't. Not yet.

Her heart stopped for a moment when he took a step toward her and she panicked. She glanced over and saw Lucas congratulating some of the other players and she knew she had a second.

When she looked back, Julian was standing still, his eyes burning into her own and for one selfish moment, she wished that he hadn't stopped.

As if reading her mind, he took another step closer and she gave him a pained look. This was just as hard on her that it was on him, and she needed to get out of there. She needed to get Lucas and Peyton out of there before they saw him.

It was just as she was turning toward him when she heard Lucas' angry voice and she froze.

"What's he doing here?"

"Who?" Nathan asked, confused. Brooke turned toward them quickly, surprised that she hadn't heard Nathan or Haley approach them.

"Julian Baker."

Haley stood off to the side, glancing back and forth between Brooke and Julian. She could easily see her friend was panicking.

"Guys, lets just go." Nathan suggested. He could see that this was escalating and quickly, and he needed to do something. Lucas didn't need to find out about Brooke and Julian this way. Not in front of everyone. Not like this.

"Why is he here?" Lucas demanded, angrily. "No one invited him."

Brooke was panicking. She literally felt like her heart was going to be right out of her chest.

"Guys. Let's just go." Haley finally spoke up. She was so confused. She didn't know what was going on, the only thing she knew was that Brooke was about to hyperventilate and Lucas was about to kill Julian. And she didn't want either one of those to happen.

Nathan nodded in agreement, stepping in front of his brother, blocking his view of Julian. "We just won, man. Don't let him bother you. Let's go."

Lucas nodded, taking a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. Just the sight of Julian had his blood boiling.

"Ya. You're right. Ok. Let's get outta here."

Brooke sighed in relief as Lucas grabbed her hand and began walking toward the exit.

They were almost out the door when she heard him calling out for her. She closed her eyes tightly, hoping that she was imagining it, and no one else had heard him. But she knew immediately that wasn't the case when she looked at Lucas and saw the furious look on his face.

"Brooke?"

She heard Haley behind her, but she didn't turn around. She was too busy watching Julian walk toward them. Her mind was going a mile a minute and she couldn't focus on one single thought.

"Can we talk?" Julian asked her when he was finally standing in front of them.

He didn't know what he was doing when he started calling for her. He just knew that he couldn't watch her walk out that door without settling this. Arguing with her was one of the hardest things to do, and they needed to talk about it. He didn't care that Lucas was standing behind her, staring at him like he was about to pounce. Lucas was the least of his worries.

"What's going on?" Peyton asked hesitantly as her and Jake approached the group.

Brooke was relieved to see Peyton's hand tucked safely inside of Jake's.

"Whatever you have to say to her, you can say in front of us."

Brooke wasn't surprised at how angry Lucas sounded. She knew that if the shoe were on the other foot, she would be just as furious.

"Lucas man, calm-"

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down." Lucas warned Nathan, his eyes still focused on Julian. He was still so angry about Brooke keeping their "friendship" a secret. And he just knew that there was more to it.

Just as Julian opened his mouth to speak to Brooke again, he was surprised that she interrupted him.

"Lucas, I'll meet you outside. Haley will stay with me, right?" Brooke looked toward her friend, silently pleading with her to help her out. She knew that she had a lot of explaining to do, and she wouldnt be able to get out of it any longer. All of her friends were gonna be suspicious now.

All eyes turned toward Haley and she shrunk away from all the attention. "Uh.. Ya. I'll stay with Brooke. We'll only be a minute."

Lucas stood there for several minutes, obviously unsure of what to do. Finally he just shook his head. "Fine." He let go of Brooke's hand and was out the door in the next moment. He needed to get away from Julian before he did something he was going to regret.

The rest of their friends followed after him silently, all of them looked unsure of what was going on, but none of them said anything.

Brooke turned to Haley quickly. "I'll explain everything, I promise. I just need to talk to him for a second, ok?" Her eyes were begging for her friend to understand.

Haley stared at her for a moment, trying to decide whether or not this was a good idea. She sighed after a few more seconds and nodded her head. "You have 2 minutes, Brooke. I don't know what's going on, but you have 2 minutes."

Brooke nodded quickly, turning to Julian and walking past him toward the opposite end of the gym. She knew that he would follow.

She walked outside, looking around only to realize that no one was around. Good.

She turned toward him ready to scream at him for making a scene and making everything so much worse but the words died on her lips when she was suddenly wrapped in his tight embrace, his strong arms wrapped securely around her.

She felt like she could literally feel the anger evaporate as he buried his face into her hair, taking a deep breath.

"I'm so sorry," He mumbled into her hair. "I'm so sorry for everything." His voice was pained.

She sighed, reaching up to wrap her arms around him, hugging him close. "I know. I'm sorry for hanging up on you."

He pulled back, just enough so that he could look into her eyes. "I don't care about that, Brooke. I was just trying to do the right thing. I can email Lindsay the project. I shouldn't have even considered staying there any long-"

She cut him off, gently placing her fingers over his lips. "I understand, Julian. I'm sorry for freaking out on you. This has just been the longest week of my life and I couldn't wait to see you. I missed you." She bit her bottom lip, trying desperately to hold her tears at bay.

He nodded, leaning in to press his lips against her forehead. "I missed you, too."

They stayed like that for a few short minutes, wrapped in each others arms, neither one willing to let go.

"I have to go." Brooke sighed, burying her face into his neck. She took a deep breath, inhaling his familiar scent. She loved the way he smelled. His cologne was one of her favorite smells in the world.

"I know." He hugged her close for another second before finally taking a step back from her, he reached down and laced his fingers through her own, grasping her hand tightly.

"I love you." He whispered, squeezing her hand gently. All he wanted to do was kiss her, claim her lips as his own. But he knew he couldn't. Not until they told Lucas.

She was so wrapped up in everything that was Julian that she didn't hear the door open behind her before she responded. Has she known who had just walked outside, she wouldn't have said the next words out of her mouth.

"I love you, too." She smiled up at him, and frowned when she saw he was no longer looking at her, but beyond her, toward the gym doors. She turned around quickly and was surprised when saw they were no longer alone.

"What did you just say?"

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**Review? :)**


	17. Chapter 16

**Hi guys! Hope everyone had a great weekend! Here's the next chapter. We're getting to the good stuff now. I'm so excited! Hopefully you guys are too. Also, for those of you who like Twilight, I've been working on a one-shot Jacob & Bella story. I absolutely LOVE them. So if you're interested, be on the look out for that. This is one of my favorite chapters. I hope you guys like it! Happy reading!**

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Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing. =( The CW and creator of OTH own everything.

Chapter 16

March 10, 2006

"What did you just say?"

Brooke looked up at Julian, her body frozen in place. He wasn't looking at her, but beyond her at the person standing a few feet behind them.

"Julian.." She whispered so softly, he wouldn't have heard her had he not been standing so close. He looked at her then, taking in the terrified look on her face.

He squeezed her hand, not knowing any other way to comfort her.

She took a deep breath, giving his hand a tight squeeze before releasing it and turning around.

"Peyton-" She began cautiously, but stopped abruptly when Peyton took a step closer to her. The look on her face was deadly.

"Did you just tell him you loved him, Brooke? Because the last time I checked, you two were barely friends." She laughed once, but it was obvious to both Brooke and Julian that she found nothing about the situation funny.

"Listen, Peyton, if you'll just let me explain-"

Peyton tore her eyes from Brooke then, holding her hand up. "Don't you dare even talk to me. Is this why you broke up with me, Julian? My best friend? Or what I thought was my best friend." She glared at Brooke, causing the brunette to wince, but she kept going.

"This is a joke right? It's gotta be a joke."

Julian stepped forward, "It's not a joke, Peyton. And no, I didn't break up with you for Brooke. Let's talk about this-"

"What's there to talk about? The fact that you two have been going behind every one's back for God only knows how long?" Peyton turned her glare to Brooke, "Or how about we talk about Lucas?"

Blinking away the tears in her eyes, Brooke took a step toward Peyton. "Peyton, please let me explain."

Peyton scoffed. "Maybe you should explain this to Lucas. You remember him, right? Your boyfriend." She was so mad it was almost like she could feel a fire inside of her, and standing here, seeing them together, seeing the way he was looking at her. It wasn't helping. "I can't even look at you right now." She took a step back. "Either of you."

Just as she turned toward the door she heard Brooke's frantic voice behind her.

"Peyton. Please don't tell Lucas. I know you're mad at me, but please.. Let me be the one to tell him. You don't owe me anything, I know that." She was sobbing by this point, but she didn't care. All she cared about was Lucas not finding out this way. She didn't want Peyton to find out like this either, but there was little she could do about that now.

Peyton paused, unsure of how to respond before deciding not to answer her at all and walking through the double doors.

She didn't glance back once.

* * *

Jake was standing across the gym when he saw Peyton approaching them from a distance. He could tell right away that something wasn't right.

He walked toward her, meeting her in the middle of the gym. The look on her face made his heart clench.

Just as he was about to ask what was wrong, Peyton buried her face in his chest, clinging tightly to his shirt.

"Peyt?" He looked down, concerned. He'd never seen her this upset.

"Can you get me out of here?"

He could barely understand her, her voice muffled. He was about to ask what happened when he saw Brooke looking at them from across the gym. She was crying, and Julian was standing behind her.

Just as he was about to ask what was going on, Peyton spoke again. "Please, Jake?" When she looked up, there were tears in her eyes. He frowned, nodding.

"Come on." He waved to Nathan, the only one of his friends that were looking at them before leading her out.

He didn't know what was going on with everyone, but he was going to find out. Seeing Peyton in pain was tearing up inside and making him angry all at the same time. He was sick of everyone lying and going behind each others backs.

This shit was going to stop.

* * *

"I have to go."

"I know. Are you okay?" It was a stupid question, he knew but he asked anyway.

Brooke sighed. Was she okay? Not really. But she had no one to blame but herself. She turned to Julian, frowning when she saw how concerned he looked.

"No," She admitted, smiling sadly. "But I have to hope that I will be soon." She paused, reaching out to hold his hand. "We will be." She corrected. Her heart skipped a beat when he smiled at her.

Julian nodded, squeezing her hand. "If you need me, you know where I am." He told her before letting her hand go and taking a step back. This had to be one of the hardest things he'd ever done. Letting her go when she was so upset. All he wanted to do was take her into his arms and never let go. She'd be safe there.

"I'll try and call you tonight. I can't tell him tonight. But I will, I promise." Her eyes were pleading with him to understand. She couldn't put Lucas through this tonight. Not when he'd just gone through one of the toughest games of his life.

Julian nodded, sighing. "I know." As much as he hated to admit it, he understood. "Love you." He whispered.

She bit her lip, feeling tears stinging her eyes but she blinked them away. "Love you." She whispered back before turning and walking over to her friends and Lucas.

As she was walking, she took a few deep breaths, hoping to pull herself together.

When she approached them, Lucas took her hand. Nathan and Haley were looking at her curiously but she kept her eyes on Lucas.

"Ready to go?" He asked, nodding toward the parking lot.

She sighed in relief. He didn't seem to notice anything was wrong. "Yeah, let's go." She squeezed his hand, following him outside. She could see Nathan watching her from the corner of her eye, but she ignored it. She knew that if she looked at him, he'd know something happened and she didn't want Haley or Lucas to notice. She was in enough trouble with Haley, she was sure.

* * *

Looking down at Peyton for what felt like the millionth time, Jake frowned. She still hadn't spoken too much, and they'd been gone from the gym for at least 2 hours.

He leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes and sighing.

They were at his house now, laying in his bed. She was laying with her head against his chest, and he was propped up with his back against the wall. His arms had been around her the whole time.

He wanted to know what was going on, but he didn't want to push her. Whatever was bothering her was obviously big, he'd never seen her so upset.

"You know, me and Brooke have been best friends since we were five?" She asked suddenly, Jake looked down, surprised to hear her talking. He wasn't sure if she wanted an answer to that since he had in fact known that, but he answered her anyway.

"Yeah," He cleared his throat. "Yeah, I knew that."

When she didn't say anything for another minute, he was about to ask her what was going on, but she started to talk again. He waited.

"We used to talk about our weddings, about how we'd be each other's maid of honor. We were 10 years old and already planning our weddings, isn't that silly?" She looked up at him then, tears were streaming down her cheeks, and she had a sad smile on her face.

He frowned. "Isn't that what most girls do?" He reached down, trying to wipe away her tears, but they kept coming.

She nodded, laying her head back down on his chest and staring at the wall. "Did you know that Julian was the first guy I ever loved?"

He looked down at her quickly, even more confused. "No, I didn't know that."

She could tell he wanted to know what was going on, but she couldn't find the words. She didn't know where to start, so she just started talking.

"I heard her tell him she loves him. And you know, at first… I thought I heard her wrong. But then I started thinking, it makes sense, you know? After we broke up, not only did Julian disappear, but she did too. She wasn't around that much, and when I tried calling her, her phone always went to voice mail. And then at the funeral. She went to him, and she was the one to finish his speech. I don't think they let go of each others hands for the entire day. It was right in front of us all along. Did you notice when he introduced us to his mother, she seemed to already know Brooke?" She sat up suddenly, causing Jake to jump slightly. He obviously hadn't been expecting that.

He shook his head when she looked at him. He couldn't tell if she was waiting for an answer. He was in shock by what she was telling him and he was angry that she was going through this.

"I can see that he loves her. Just by the way he looks at her. And I never saw it before because why would I be looking for it?" She laughed through her tears. It really wasn't that funny, she could feel herself becoming hysterical. "Why would I think that my best friend and the guy who broke my heart, would actually be in love?"

"Peyt-" He'd never seen her this angry before.

"You wanna know the best part, Jake? The best part is that I wanted to tell Lucas. Hell, I SHOULD have told Lucas, but I didn't. I didn't because she asked me not to. Even after everything that she's done to me, I didn't tell him. And this is going to kill him. How could she do this to me? How could she do this to him?" She broke down then, the sobs taking over her body as the realization of what was happening around her finally hit.

She vaguely felt Jake pulling her back into his arms and for just a second she felt bad for burdening him with this. But she couldn't think about that for too much longer as she thought back to what she witnessed earlier in the night. She laid her head against his chest, closing her eyes.

The last thing she heard before her body finally succumbed to exhaustion was Jake telling her that everything was going to be okay.

She wished she believed him.

* * *

"Is this seat taken?"

Brooke looked up as Haley approached. She shook her head and watched Haley kick her flip flops off before sitting down beside Brooke, dangling her feet in the pool.

They were all at Tim's house to celebrate their win. There was so many people there that Brooke was surprised it took someone so long to finally come outside with her. They were the only two out there.

"Ready to talk?" Haley asked after a few minutes of silence. She'd given Brooke most of the night before she couldn't wait anymore. She wanted to know what was going on.

"Nope." Brooke smiled. She was relieved to hear Haley laugh from beside her. "But I promised."

She then began telling Haley the story of her and Julian from the beginning, not leaving a single thing out. She talked for what seemed like hours, and it probably was close to an hour before she was finished, but when she was done, she felt a little relieved and anxious at the same time. Relieved that she wasn't lying to Haley anymore and anxious because she knew Haley was going to kill her. She was Lucas' best friend.

Haley was silent for several minutes, trying to process everything that Brooke had just told her. Hearing the whole story made Haley think back on everything and understand her friends actions a little more. She couldn't believe that she hadn't figured it out at the funeral. It made so much sense now. And Nathan knew this whole time and hadn't told her. That big weasel!

"Haley?"

She looked over at Brooke and could see how worried she was. She didn't blame her. A large part of her wanted to scream at her, slap her, anything to make her understand the damage that she was creating, but from one look at her friend, she could tell that Brooke already knew.

"Wow."

Brooke frowned. Wow? That was it?

"When are you going to tell him?"

Brooke winced. She had been thinking about that ever since leaving the gym. She needed to tell him before he found out from someone else.

"Tomorrow." She replied softly, looking down at her hands. "I should have told him a long time ago. I just didn't know what to say. I love him, Hales. I swear I do. It's just that-"

"You love Julian more." It wasn't a question, Brooke knew that, but she nodded anyway.

"I don't know how this happened. I was happy with Lucas. I _am_ happy with Lucas. I just can't let Julian go. I can't explain it." She was dangerously close to being in tears again and she was desperately trying to avoid that. She'd cried enough earlier.

Haley frowned. While she was worried about Lucas, she was worried about Brooke as well. They were both her friends, and she could tell how broken up Brooke was about the whole thing. Reaching over, she took her hand, giving it an encouraging squeeze.

Brooke smiled over at Haley through watery eyes, before leaning her head down on her shoulder. She was grateful that Haley wasn't screaming at her right now, though she wouldn't have been surprised. She should be screaming.

Haley laid her head on top of Brooke's sighing deeply. She wished that she could tell her that everything was going to be alright, but she couldn't do that. Because as much as she wished it were true, the minute that Brooke told Lucas, everything would be madness. Pure madness. And Haley was not looking forward to that.

"Come on, let's go inside and try to have some fun. Lucas is probably wondering where we are." Haley stood up, reaching her hand out to Brooke.

Brooke nodded but didn't take her hand. "You go on in, I'll meet you there in a minute. I just want to text Julian really quick." She didn't see any point in lying at this point.

She could tell Haley was hesitant to leave her, but she eventually walked inside, leaving Brooke alone once more. She pulled out her phone and wasn't surprised to see she already had a text waiting for her.

'Hope you're okay. I'm thinking of you. Love you.'

She smiled, quickly typing up a reply. 'Miss you.' She closed her phone and her eyes at the same time. She was about to get up when a voice behind her made her jump.

Lucas chuckled, sitting down behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Didn't mean to scare you. I've been looking everywhere for you. What are you doing out here all alone?" He asked, leaning his chin down on her shoulder. He smiled when she shivered in his arms.

She reached down and took both of his hands in her own and turned her head toward him, offering him a small smile. "There's only so much Tim I can handle to begin with, but drunk Tim.. I needed a break."

He laughed. "Good point." A tipsy Tim was amusing, but a wasted Tim was annoying.

They sat in silence for a while before he spoke again. "Do you want to go back in?" He leaned in, kissing her neck softly.

She shook her head, leaning back against his chest and wrapping his arms around her tighter. "No, I want to stay right here. Just the two of us." Her emotions were beginning to get the best of her, a lump forming in her throat.

"Ok." He whispered, hugging her close.

She leaned her head back on his shoulder and looked up at the sky, the stars shining down on them. She knew she was being selfish right now, sitting there with him like this, but she didn't move. She just wanted one more night with him. One more night with him holding her, and loving her. It wouldn't be like this tomorrow. Tomorrow he would hate her. She'd hate herself.

And so they sat there for the rest of the party. Him hugging her close to him, and her desperately trying to hold on to her last moments with him.

He never noticed her silent tears, and for that; she was grateful.

* * *

**So I have to be at work in a few hours LOL. But I really wanted to get this posted. wasn't cooperating again with me, maybe its me! LOL. **

**This chapter made me so sad! I love Brooke and Lucas, just like I love Brooke and Julian, so this is pretty difficult for me! Next chapter is the one we're all waiting for! **

**Review? :)**


	18. Chapter 17

Hi everyone! Hope you're still out there! Haha. This next chapter was so difficult for me to write and I really hope you like what I came up with. This is the one everyone's been waiting for. (Myself included, lol!) I just want to quickly thank everyone who has been reading and reviewing still. I'm sorry that the updates have taken so long, real life sucks. But seriously, you guys are the absolute best and I thank you so much for taking time to read my story. We only have a couple of chapters left! I hope you guys enjoy this one, let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 17

March 11, 2006

"Brooke?"

She turned to find Lucas standing behind her, looking at her curiously.

She'd been a nervous wreck all morning, trying to work up the courage to talk to him. Seeing him in front of her now wasn't doing anything to ease her nerves. Her stomach was in knots, and her heart was racing. She was terrified.

"I've been trying to call you all morning. How long have you been out here?" He asked her, softly. He stayed where he was, a few feet away. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something was off about her.

"Uh… not long." She lied. She'd been at the Rivercourt for the last few hours, staring out at the water, attempting to talk herself into finding Lucas. Every time she thought she was ready, she'd think of another reason to avoid him and chicken out all over again.

"Is everything alright?"

She'd known this moment was coming for weeks. Now that it was here, she didn't know what to do with it, or how to approach it.

"Come sit with me." She whispered.

Lucas stared at her for a few seconds before hesitantly sitting down beside her. He was starting to get nervous.

Noticing he was about to say something, she scooted a little closer to him. "We need to talk, Luke. But before we do, can I just be selfish and ask you for one thing?" She asked, timidly.

When he nodded, she continued. "Can you kiss me?"

He was confused. Why was she asking? Instead of asking her, he leaned in and captured her lips with his own. He kissed her slowly, gently running his tongue along her bottom lip causing her to gasp lightly. Taking advantage of her now open mouth, he brought his hands up to cup her cheeks as his tongue slowly explored every crevice in her mouth.

She sighed, reaching up to grasp his arms, pulling him closer to her. This was the last time she'd ever kiss Lucas Scott. Her heart throbbed painfully at the thought. She knew this was by far the most selfish thing she can do at this moment, but yet she did it anyway. She was such a terrible person.

The kiss lasted a few long minutes, neither one willing to pull away. Finally, air became an issue and Lucas gently leaned back, placing a soft kiss on her lips before sitting back slowly. He kept his eyes closed for a second before opening them to see Brooke's eyelids staring back at him. She had yet to open her eyes. There was one single tear sliding down her cheek, and that was what finally brought him back down to Earth.

"Brooke? What's going on?"

When she opened her eyes, he could see the internal battle she was having with herself. He tried to ignore the sinking feeling he was beginning to get. She looked down.

She was silent for several minutes, staring down at her hands, not knowing where to start. What did she want to say? What didn't she want to say? A part of her, the part of her that still loved Lucas, wanted to just forget about all of this, forget about everything and go back to where they were. But she'd tried that. She failed.

The larger part of her, the part that was in love with Julian, was picturing his smiling face. Picturing him telling her he loved her. Picturing him moving his whole life back to Tree Hill. For her.

It was with that picture in her mind that she finally looked up at him, with tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry." She whispered the first thing that came to her mind. She _was_ sorry. She hated herself for doing this.

Lucas was silent for a few seconds before looking down. "What are you sorry for, Brooke?" His mind was running in all different directions. It was when he heard her begin to cry that he finally looked up. The pain in her eyes made his stomach drop.

She felt like a fool, sitting there sobbing. All the guilt was tearing her up inside. This was one of the hardest things she'd ever done, and she felt terrible. Lucas didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve to have her sitting there in front of him, crying, when she was about to rip his heart out.

Pulling herself together, she took a few deep breaths, forcing herself to stop crying. "I can't be with you anymore," She choked out. "I'm so sorry."

"You… can't be with me… anymore." He repeated slowly. He stood up and took a step back, as if he'd been punched in the gut.

Brooke didn't say anything, instead she stood there, with tears sliding down her cheeks. She hated herself. The look on his face, the look of utter heart break made her stomach turn.

Lucas turned and walked a few feet away from her and stopped. There was so many emotions running through him, it was difficult to settle on just one. Hurt. Anger. Disbelief. Heartbreak. Confusion.

He stood the for a few minutes before turning back quickly and facing her once more. "I don't understand. We can fix this. We can," He took a few steps closer to her, taking her hands into his own. "Just tell me what to do and I'll fix this." He pleaded with her, his own vision becoming blurry. He blinked away the tears, watching her as she struggled to hold herself together.

"We can't-"

"We can! Just tell me what's wrong, and we can fix this." He insisted, squeezing her hands tighter. There had to be some way he could fix this, he couldn't lose her.

She shook her head, the tears coming faster now. She tried opening her mouth to say something to him, anything, but she was crying too hard.

"We'll get through this, Brooke. I love you. And I know you love me. We can do this, together."

She dropped her eyes to the ground, her heart breaking at the desperation in his voice. She didn't know what to say. Her head was screaming at her to listen to him, but her heart was telling her that she was doing the right thing. It was saying that her heart belonged to someone else now, someone who wasn't Lucas. That thought scared her. Lucas had been the owner of her heart for so long.

They were both silent for a while, each one heart broken for different reasons.

"What happened, Brooke? I know things have been strained lately, but we can work through that. We can spend more time together, we can take that vacation you've been talking about, we can-" He stopped when he noticed her shaking her head.

"We can't." She whispered, sadly.

"Why not?"

Finally, she looked up at him, his eyes were pleading with her to not give up on them, but her heart had already made that decision for her.

"I'm-" She paused, taking a deep shaky breath. "I'm in love with someone else." Her voice was broken, her heart was aching. Saying those words to him and seeing his heart break right in front of her, it was excruciating.

He dropped her hands suddenly, taking a step away from her. She was sobbing again, but he couldn't hear her. The only thing he heard was that she was in love with someone else. It was replaying in his head, over and over again.

"Who is it?" Lucas demanded, suddenly. He was angry now. This wasn't happening. He was waiting for his alarm clock to go off and to realize that this was all some sick twisted nightmare. He never ever thought in a million years that this would happen to him and Brooke. They were stronger than this.

"Lucas, I don't think-" She began, but he cut her off.

"Who is it, Brooke?"

She could tell her was angry. He was practically fuming. She didn't blame him.

"Do I know him?" He asked when she didn't say anything.

Should she tell him? She didn't know. She was done lying, though. She hated lying, and that was all she'd done for weeks… months even.

"Yes." She whispered, looking down.

He exhaled loudly, running his hands over his face. His emotions were all over the places, his heart was still racing. He needed to get a hold of himself. He knew that by being there with her, seeing her standing in front of him with tears in her eyes, it was only hurting him worse. He had to get out of there.

"I have to go." He turned to walk away. He'd never felt so angry and hurt in his life. He didn't know what to do.

He was almost at his car when he heard her speak. He had half a mind to just get in his car and ignore her. The angry part of him was screaming at him that she didn't deserve his understanding. She deserved to be screamed at. She deserved the pain he was feeling. But he said nothing. He paused, though he stayed with his back to her.

"I'm so sorry, Lucas. I know this doesn't mean anything to you right now, but I never wanted to hurt you."

He squeezed his eyes shut, unwilling to break down in front of her. He was sure that his heart was in a million pieces.

After a long moment he nodded slowly, talking a deep shallow breath. "I'm sorry too, Brooke."

And with that, he got into his car and he was gone.

March 14, 2006

"What are you doing here?"

It was a few days after the encounter with Lucas that Brooke finally got the nerve to talk to Peyton. Thankfully spring break had started the week after the game and she'd successfully avoided everyone and her problems, but she knew she couldn't wait forever.

She also knew there was a strong possibility that Peyton would slam the door in her face, but so far, she was just standing there glaring at her.

"Can we talk?" Brooke asked, timidly.

Peyton stood there for a second, unsure of what to do. On one hand, she wanted to tell Brooke to go jump off the nearest cliff. But the more mature side of her felt like she should hear her out.

After a few seconds, she sighed in aggravation. Closing the door behind her, she walked past Brooke to her porch steps and sitting down.

Brooke stood there for a moment before following and sitting a few feet away from her. She was grateful that Peyton was willing to hear her out. She knew that if it were her in Peyton's shoes, she probably wouldn't give her the time of day.

She'd been rehearsing what she wanted to say all morning, but now, sitting there with her, her mind was blank and her stomach was filled with butterflies.

Clearing her throat, she finally found her voice. "I really just want you to know that I'm sorry, first of all. I never meant for this to happen-" She paused when she noticed Peyton roll her eyes. She chose to ignore it. "I know that's so cliché, to say that it just happened, but it did, Peyt. I didn't like him, you were right. In fact, I hated him for what he did to you, and I told him so."

Peyton opened her mouth to say something, but she decided against it. Anything she said now was going to be out of anger, so instead of fighting, she remained silent. This was all Jake's fault. He'd lectured her for 2 hours the night before about being the bigger person, and not making the situation worse.

Though, that just resulted in Peyton ignoring him for another 2 hours, she hated to admit he was right. The situation was shitty enough as it was. So instead of making it worse, she kept her mouth shut. It was not easy.

"When I found out about his mom, I just felt so bad. It didn't excuse any pain he caused you, but it made me realize that maybe he wasn't as heartless as we all assumed. I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone." Brooke paused, looking down at her hands. She was hesitant to finish the story. Granted, she was being very vague, but she wanted to tell Peyton the truth.

"He needed me, and I was there for him. I can't tell you when I started to-" She was unsure how to word this. She was trying to make this as painless as possible for Peyton. "I can't tell you when I started to have feelings for him, all I know is that one day I woke up, and looking at him made me feel different. I didn't cheat on Lucas." She sighed. "Not physically."

"Does Lucas known?" Peyton found herself asking.

"And now?" Peyton asked, staring straight ahead. Sitting there with Brooke, biting her tongue from all the things she really wanted to say, was proving to be very difficult. A very small part of her understood where Brooke was coming from. But the anger she still felt was clouding her mind.

"I broke up with Lucas. Me and Julian are not together. We're… figuring things out."

Peyton nodded, but said nothing.

They sat there for a few more minutes, each lost in their own thoughts. It was Peyton that broke the silence first.

"I better go back inside, Jake is waiting for me." She mumbled, standing up and making her way to the front door. She stopped when Brooke called her name. "Yeah?" She asked, turning toward her.

Brooke ran her fingers through her hair, shifting her weight on either foot nervously. "Do you think we'll ever be the same?"

Peyton stood there for a long time, before finally shaking her head, sadly. "I don't think so." She looked at Brooke for a few more seconds before turning and going back inside her house.

Brooke nodded, though Peyton was no longer looking at her.

Walking back to her car, she realized she wasn't surprised by Peyton's answer. In fact, She'd expected it. But still, though she knew that things would never be the same, and that Peyton was still so angry with her, it didn't stop the sobs from escaping as soon as she was in the quiet confines of her car.

It was hours after Brooke was home from Peyton's that she heard Julian coming up the stairs toward her room. He'd been making the final arrangements with the realtor on his grandmothers house. The new owners of the house would officially be moving in this weekend.

Glancing at her alarm clock, she was surprised to see it was almost ten o'clock.

"Hey." He greeted, walking into her room. He wasn't surprised to see her tucked into her bed. He knew that she was upset from her visit with Peyton.

"Hi," She whispered, sitting up to watch him kicking off his sneakers and stuffing his socks into them. Julian lifted his shirt over his head, draping it across the computer chair. Brooke felt her heart skip a beat at the sight of his bare chest.

No matter how many times she'd seen him shirtless, she had to resist the urge to drool every time. "How was it?"

"Difficult." Handing over the keys to his grandmothers house that evening had been hard. It felt like he was saying his final goodbye. "The people moving in are really excited, so that was nice." He grabbed a pair of basketball shorts before walking over to the bathroom to change. After brushing his teeth and changing, he walked back into the room and over to her bed. She was laying down again.

Sliding in next to her, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to his chest. "You okay?" He knew she'd know what he was talking about. He was so proud of her for talking to Peyton. He'd seen her once since the previous week in the gym and he was sure that if looks could kill, he'd be dead. Not that he blamed her. To her, it must have looked like he'd chosen Brooke over her. While that was only slightly true, it wasn't his intention. He never expected to fall in love with the brunette beside him. However, he thanked God every day that he had.

"Ya," She whispered, laying her head on his chest. "I hate it that she's hurting. That _they're _hurting, but there's nothing I can say that will make this better. She didn't slam the door in my face, so that's a good thing."

Julian nodded, leaning down to place a kiss on her temple. His left hand was gently tracing patterns on her lower back on the smooth skin beneath the light tank top she was wearing.

Her breathing was deep and steady for a few minutes, and he was sure she was asleep. When she lifted her head to meet his gaze, he realized he was wrong.

She stared into his eyes for a long moment, smiling at the love she saw reflecting back at her. "Julian," She whispered, scooting so close to him she was practically on top of him.

His heart was about to pound out of his chest. He groaned when she whispered his name, her warm breath tickling his lips.

He closed his eyes, stifling a moan when he felt her lips on his chest. She place gentle kisses right above his heart, before trailing small kisses from his chest to his neck.

"Brooke," He moaned, panting. They'd been close before, but this was different.

She smiled against his neck, loving the effect she was having on him. She'd been nervous the past few days, knowing that they were getting ready to take the next step, but being here with him now, she was at ease.

She moved so she was completely on top of him straddling his waist, and leaned down to press her lips to the pulse point on his neck. She knew she should be embarrassed by how heavily she was breathing, but she didn't care.

His hands remained on her hips, letting her lead. He didn't want to push her, or move too quickly.

Gently nipping at the skin of his neck, she smirked at the groan that escaped his lips. She trailed her tongue along the skin soothing the faint mark she'd left behind.

He was going to have a heart attack. At any moment, his heart was going to stop. He couldn't believe that this was finally happening. They were together, in her bed, her lips were on him, and he was going to die. He was going to die and go straight to Heaven. His eyes rolled back when he felt her hips press into his own. He nearly came apart at the moan that escaped her lips.

"Brooke," He gasped. His heart was pounding in his chest so hard, he was sure she felt it.

She trailed hot kisses along his jaw, stopping when she reached the corner of his mouth. She placed a small kiss there before leaning up slightly to look into his eyes.

The undeniable look of pure lust in his eyes made her stomach tighten. His eyes dropped to look at her lips and she knew what he wanted. This was it. They were really doing this.

Slowly she leaned forward, stopping only when their lips were barely touching. His warm breath caressed her lips for just a second before she couldn't take it any longer and closing the very small space between them.

With one of his hands on her lower back, he reached up to cup her cheek, holding her to him. Her lips glided over his own for a long moment before he felt her warm tongue gently tracing his bottom lip begging for entrance. He was happy to oblige. He pulled her closer to him as she deepened the kiss and groaned when he felt her tongue come in contact with his own for the first time.

Her hands were grasping his hair so tight that it nearly hurt, but he didn't care. Brooke was on top of him, giving him the best kiss he'd ever had in his entire life. Nothing else in the world mattered at that moment.

They stayed like that for several minutes, kissing slowly and sensually. They were both content to stay right where they were. Right in that moment.

Brooke whimpered when Julian slowly pulled away, both of them taking deep breaths. Her lips were tingling.

He sat up with her still on his lap, leaning in to place a soft kiss to her swollen lips. He smiled against her lips when she pulled him closer to her. He stayed with his lips against hers for a long moment before leaning back to look into her eyes.

"Wow," He finally whispered, causing Brooke to giggle. He smiled widely at the sound of her happiness. He loved knowing he was the reason for the smile on her beautiful face.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him on the lips once more before leaning in and hugging him tightly. He wrapped his arms around her waist in return, holding her close to his body.

Neither one of them knew what would happen come Monday when they had to return to school. But right at that moment, they didn't care. They were happy, they were together.. And they were in love. That was all the mattered.

For now.


	19. Chapter 18

**Hey everyone! So sorry this took a while. I had terrible writers block, but I think I'm working through it! Thank you so much to those who reviewed last chapter and still take the time to read the new chapters. You guys are amazing. This next chapter is super short, but it's a filler for what's to come. I'm thinking there's about 3 or 4 chapters left. I promise I won't disappear again. I'm hoping to have a longer update next week. We're getting there! Also, I posted a new story. It's a Twilight Jacob & Bella story called Tug of War. I'm pretty excited about it, so if you're interested - check it out! Please let me know what you think. Also, you will notice that I took out the dates. They are no longer important now that we are in current time. Enjoy!**

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Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story line!

Chapter 18

"Are you sure we have to go?"

Julian laughed, shaking his head. That had to be the 25th time Brooke had asked him in a span of 30 minutes.

"Yes, Nathan invited us. He said that Peyton and Lucas won't be there. Besides, we have school tomorrow anyway. We're going to have to face the music sooner or later."

She nodded. "I know. I just wanted to stay in our little bubble for one more night."

He smiled. "I know, babe. Me too." He reached over and laced their fingers together.

The rest of the car ride was spent in comfortable silence, Julian watching the road ahead and Brooke staring aimlessly out of her window.

Spring break was nearing its end and they knew that tomorrow was going to be chaotic. She hadn't seen Lucas or Peyton since the weekend before, and she'd be lying if she said she wasn't scared of what the next day would be like.

"What are you thinking about?" Julian asked, squeezing her hand gently.

Brooke sighed, turning to face him. "I'm nervous about tomorrow. I can't help it." The past week was great, just the two of them. Spending every day with Julian, waking up to his kisses, and falling asleep in his arms was perfect.

He nodded. "I know. I can't say I'm looking forward to it either. But we'll get through this. We've come this far."

She smiled, leaning her head back against the headrest. The rest of the ride to Karen's Café was spent in comfortable silence.

"Ready?" Julian asked, unbuckling his seat belt and opening the door. He waited until she nodded before they both got out and walked toward the door.

"Brooke! Julian. Haley and Nathan are right over there, I'll be right over." Karen greeted warmly, walking over to a table to pour the guests a cup of coffee.

"Hey guys," Brooke greeted, sitting across from their friends. "Are we late?"

Haley shook her head. "We've only been here for a few minutes. Hey Julian." She smiled.

"Hi guys." Julian reached over, shaking Nathan's hand.

It wasn't long before Julian and Nathan struck up a conversation, unintentionally leaving the girls out.

"So, tell me. How are things going?" Haley leaned over, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Brooke laughed. "Things are good,"

"Just good?"

"Tutor girl! When did you become so nosey?" They both laughed.

"Have you spoken to Peyton or Lucas?" Haley asked, taking a long sip of her soda.

"I tried calling Lucas a few days ago, but he didn't answer. Not that I blame him," Brooke sighed. "I haven't tried to talk to Peyton. She probably hates me."

"She doesn't hate you, Brooke. She's just upset." Haley insisted, offering her friend a small smile.

Brooke shrugged. "I would hate me if I were her. Have you talked to Lucas at all?"

Haley shook her head. "I called him a few times, but I think he's avoiding everyone for now. He's in a bad place. He'll be ok. You know Luke; he deals with things his own way."

"Yeah. I just hope he's okay. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow, honestly."

Haley nodded.

"So how are things with boy toy? I feel like I haven't talked to you in forever."

"Well, that's what happens when you lock yourself away with Julian for a week," Haley teased, laughing.

Brooke blushed, causing Haley to laugh louder. "We have to go shopping this weekend. I promise I won't torture you too much."

When Haley didn't answer right away, Brooke looked up. Haley wasn't looking at her, but beyond her. "Haley?"

"Peyton just walked in."

"Oh God." Brooke groaned, burying her head in her hands.

"What?" Julian asked, looking at Brooke worried.

"Peyton's here." Brooke mumbled into her hands, taking a deep unsteady breath. She really didn't want to deal with this tonight. Tonight was supposed to be the last carefree day of their break. She wasn't prepared for this.

"She's walking over here." Nathan mumbled, glancing over at a nervous Haley.

"Great." Brooke muttered, sitting up straight. She could do this. She had to do this. Julian was right. They were going to have to deal with this sooner or later. It would just have to be sooner, unfortunately.

"Wow, this didn't take long. Where is my invite? Or did I lose all of my friends, not just 2 of them?"

"Peyton! Hey. How are you?" Haley asked, trying to keep the peace.

Peyton continued to glare at Brooke. "Hi Brooke. Or should I call you boyfriend stealer instead? The title seems to fit."

"Wait a minute, Peyton-" Julian started but Brooke cut him off.

"Boyfriend stealer? Really, Peyton? Is that the best you got? Because I didn't steal your boyfriend. You guys were broken up before any of this happened."

Peyton rolled her eyes. "Does Lucas know about this yet?"

"I think we better go." Julian suggested, standing up. He pulled his wallet out and handed a few bills to Nathan to cover his and Brooke's dinner. He looked down at Brooke, "Ready to go?"

"He's even fighting your battles now, Brooke?"

"Peyton, that's enough." Nathan warned. It was understandable that Peyton was angry, but this was pushing it.

Julian and Brooke took a few feet away from the table before Brooke paused, turning back to the blonde. "I'm sorry that we hurt you Peyton. I really am." And with that, she turned and followed Julian out of the café.

* * *

"Hey Hales." Haley looked up, smiling at Lucas as he sat down next to her.

"Hey punk."

"Ready for the Calculus test?" She asked, scooting over on the bench to make room for him. It was the next day at school, and the first time she'd seen Lucas in over a week.

"Absolutely not," He offered her a small smile. "Have you seen Brooke?" He asked, cautiously.

She frowned. She wasn't surprised that he was asking. "I did for a few minutes this morning. I'll see her in 4th period."

"I saw them. I can't say that I'm surprised that it's Julian. I don't think they saw me, though." He sighed.

"I'm sorry, Luke. I know this sucks. If it makes you feel any better, she's pretty torn up about it."

Lucas laughed once, though she could tell he didn't find anything funny about the situation. "I hate this." He sighed. "Is this my fault? Did I do something?"

Haley sighed, shaking her head. "Of course not, Lucas. This isn't any one's fault. Things like this just happen."

"I guess you're right." He sighed, though he didn't sound like he agreed with her.

Haley frowned, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "Things will get better. I promise."

"Forgive me if I don't believe you right now." He leaned forward, rubbing his hands over his face. He was exhausted. All night he'd been tossing and turning worried about the first day back.

"I'll be here with you to remind you everyday until you do." She smiled, laying her head on his shoulder. She hated being in the middle, being friends with both sides.

Neither of them noticed Brooke standing a few feet away, watching them. They also didn't notice the tears running down her cheeks.

* * *

"How was your day?" Julian asked, lying down beside Brooke later that night. It sucked not having classes together, especially when he knew she would need him all day.

Brooke sighed, turning over to face him. "Well, I didn't see Peyton. So that's good. But I did see Lucas. He was sitting with Haley, he didn't look very happy."

Julian nodded, leaning over to turn the lamp off. "Did he see you?"

She shook her head. "No. Not that I know of, at least."

They were quiet for several minutes, lost in their own thoughts.

"I'm gonna try to talk to him. I don't know if it's going to help, but I need to try." She said, turning to see Julian's reaction.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" He didn't want Brooke to get her hopes up, just in case things didn't work out the way she wanted them to.

"No," She admitted, leaning in to kiss him softly. She smiled when he pulled her closer, deepening the kiss slightly.

"I missed you today." Julian mumbled against her lips, leaning his forehead against hers.

"I know, I missed you too."

"Things will get better, right?" She asked him after a while.

He nodded. "Things will get better."

She knew he was right. The way things were going, she wasn't sure things could get any worse.

Could they?

* * *

I know it's really short, but this is just a filler for the next chapter. Let me know what you think! You guys are the best :)


	20. Chapter 19

**Thank you guys so much for reviewing and adding this story to your alerts! Seriously, it means so much to me! I have to admit, watching Brooke and Julian this season really gives me the inspiration to continue writing. This next chapter was one of the easiest to write. I really like the majority of it, and hopefully you will too! Please review and let me know what you think! Enjoy.

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**

Disclaimer - As always, all characters belong to the CW and the creators of OTH.

**Chapter 19**

"What time are we meeting Nathan and Julian for lunch?"

"Oh, let's stop in here." Haley said, walking into American Eagle. "Um, I think Nathan said 2:00. The last I spoke to him, they were in Game Stop."

Brooke laughed, shaking her head. "What a surprise." She paused, scanning a rack of t-shirts. "Oh, I like this one." She murmured.

Haley glanced over, nodding when she saw the black tank top in Brooke's hand. "Try it on. I like it, too."

"So, did you and Nathan have the college talk yet?" Brooke asked, looking through a rack of jeans.

Haley shrugged. "Honestly, I have no idea what we're going to decide. We both got accepted to Duke and Harvard. I love him for applying to Harvard, but I think I'm going to accept Duke."

Brooke smiled at her friend. "You'd do that for him? You've been talking about Harvard since I met you."

Haley nodded, a small smile on her face. "I've been thinking about it a lot. I mean, don't get me wrong… I'd love to go to Harvard. But I love him, and when I think about choosing between a college and a future with Nathan, there's just no competition. Besides it's closer to home. It just makes sense, you know?"

Brooke grinned, leaning over and hugging Haley close. "That was the sweetest thing I've ever heard, Haley James," She paused for a second before smiling wider. "Soon to be Scott." She winked.

Haley laughed, swatting her friend away. "I know he won't want me to give up Harvard so easily, but for some reason I don't feel like I'm giving anything up. It's weird."

Brooke nodded. "I know what you mean, I think. You're thinking more long term?" Haley nodded.

"What about you and Julian?"

"We talked briefly. Honestly, with everything going on… College has been in the back of my mind. I've been thinking about maybe going to New York. Julian's mom is there, and he really didn't get to spend that much time with her before he moved back. And I've been thinking, he moved back to Tree Hill for me, I think I'm ready to do the same for him."

Haley paused, turning to face Brooke. "Wow, Brooke… That's huge. Are you sure about this, though? That's a big move."

She nodded. "I know, but I want to do this. Not just for him, but for me too. I was already thinking about NYU before any of this happened with Julian. Him being there will just be an added bonus."

"I'll miss you." Haley pouted, causing Brooke to laugh loudly.

"Don't worry, Tutor Girl. Julian and I haven't even had this talk yet. This is just something I've been thinking about. And if it does happen, we'll still talk all the time and we can visit. Besides, when you and Boy Toy get married, I better be in the wedding party."

"Same goes for you, Miss Davis." Haley teased, draping a pair of jeans over her arm to try on.

"Do you think it's early to start thinking about the future?"

Haley shrugged. "We start thinking about our wedding day when we're like 8 years old." They laughed. "Besides, change is coming sooner than we think. I think it's okay to start thinking about what you're going to be doing a year from now."

Brooke nodded, browsing through another rack of clothes.

"Why? What are you thinking about?" Haley asked, curious.

"I've been thinking about Julian and what's going to happen in the future for us. We've only been together for a short time, but I have these dreams…"

"What kind of dreams?"

"I had a dream last night about our wedding." When she saw Haley raise an eyebrow at her, she continued. "And when I woke up, I don't know… I was excited?"

Haley smiled. "There's nothing wrong with that, Brooke."

She sighed. "Yeah I know, but I was with Lucas for years, and the subject of marriage never came up. I mean, don't get me wrong… I thought of a future with Lucas, but I never thought about marrying him. I'm with Julian for a few months, and I feel like I'm ready to start picking out flowers and cakes."

Haley laughed, shaking her head as Brooke glared at her.

"Stop laughing at me. I'm being serious here, Tutor Girl!"

"Ok, ok. Sorry."

Brooke rolled her eyes, turning her attention to the dresses in front of her. "Do you think that means I loved Lucas less?"

"What? Of course not! Is that what's really bothering you?" Brooke nodded. "Brooke, Lucas is your first love. Just because you've moved on and have been lucky enough to fall in love again doesn't make your love for Lucas any less real."

"I just feel so bad. I love Julian, I do. It's just… Every time I see Lucas, he practically falls all over himself to avoid me. I'm not stupid enough to think we could be friends, I just hate that I hurt him."

Haley nodded, following Brooke toward the dressing rooms. She sat down on the bench outside one of the rooms and motioned for Brooke to sit beside her.

"Lucas is a big boy, Brooke. Yeah, what happened sucks… But you can't keep letting this bother you. Eventually it's going to affect you and Julian, and I don't think you want that, do you?" Brooke shook her head.

"I know you're right. I just feel bad. I know I have to let it go. I can't let this get between me and Julian."

Haley smiled, wrapping her arm around the brunette's shoulders. "Exactly. Now come on, let's try these on so we can meet the guys." She stood up, grabbing her clothes from next to her.

"Thanks, Haley. I'm sorry I'm such a Debbie Downer lately. I'll snap out of it." Brooke smiled, standing up to follow her.

"It's okay. Maybe you need to get laid?" Haley ran into the dressing room, laughing loudly. She was grateful that she and Brooke were the only two in the dressing rooms; otherwise she would have never said anything like that. She just needed something to lighten the mood. She heard Brooke gasp, causing her to laugh louder.

"Haley James!"

* * *

"Babe?" Brooke called, walking downstairs. She'd just gotten finished getting ready for bed and was surprised when Julian wasn't in her room.

"Hmm?" Julian responded, keeping his eyes on the T.V. Never in a million years would he think that Jersey Shore would have him so glued to the television.

"Are you watching Jersey Shore?" Brooke asked, amused. She sat down on his lap, straddling him. She laughed when he didn't look away from the T.V.

"This shit is seriously addicting. It's the dumbest thing I've ever seen, but I can't turn it off."

Brooke laughed, shaking her head. She watched him for a few seconds before leaning forward to kiss him. "Let's go to bed." She whispered against his lips. When he didn't answer she leans back, shaking her head. Was he really ignoring her for a reality show?

"I'm turning the T.V. off." She warned, kissing him once more.

He chuckled, turning his attention to her. Looking at her now, he noticed her outfit, or lack there of. "What are you wearing? Or not wearing?"

"Pajamas." She replied simply, smiling seductively. She loved that she could turn him on so quickly.

He groaned. She had on the tightest tank top he'd ever seen, and boy shorts. He loved boy shorts.

Brooke Davis in boy shorts? It was like he died and went to heaven.

"Let's go upstairs." She whispered, trailing wet kisses along his jaw to his neck.

"Why? Are you DTS?"

Brooke paused, glancing at him curiously. "What the hell is DTS?"

Julian laughed, rolling his eyes. "Down to snuggle. Geez, babe. You really need to study up on your Jersey Shore slang."

"Are you really quoting Jersey Shore to me right now?" She raised an eyebrow at him. She was on his lap, half naked after all.

He laughed, shaking his head. He stood up a second later, throwing her over his shoulder. "I don't know what you're talking about." He sing-songed, running up the stairs.

Jersey Shore could wait until tomorrow.

* * *

"I think we should have the talk." Brooke said, reaching down to hold Julian's hand.

Julian looked at Brooke, confused. "The talk? Isn't it a little late for the talk?" He smirked, wiggling his eyebrows. He held the door open for her, waiting for her to walk through.

She laughed, punching him in the arm. "Not that talk, you pervert. The college talk." She shook her head, amused. Of course he's automatically think "the talk" was about sex.

Julian laughed, rubbing his arm. "Has anyone ever told you that you hit like a girl?" He smiled widely/

"I _am_ a girl, thank you very much." She stuck her tongue out at him, releasing his hand.

"Thank God for that." He whispered in her ear, reaching down to hold her hand once more. They both laughed, Brooke shook her head.

"I'm serious, Julian. It's April. We're going to have to make a decision sooner rather than later. Graduation is at the end of next month."

"Okay, okay. Sorry." Though the grin on his face told her he wasn't all that sorry. "Let's talk then." He knew she was right. Graduation was approaching fast, and he, too, was wondering what Brooke's plans were. He knew that he wanted to be with her, and would do what he could to make sure that happened.

"What do you think about NYU?"

Julian wrapped his arm around Brooke's shoulder, walking toward her locker. "I think it's a good school."

Brooke took a deep breath before turning to him. "I want to move to New York." She paused, waiting for his reaction.

"Julian?" She asked after a few moments of silence. She wasn't sure how to bring up the subject of them moving away together, other than to just come right out and say it. There was no sense beating around the bush at this point.

"You want to move to New York?" When she nodded, he continued. "Are you sure about that, Brooke? Because NYU is not exactly around the corner from Tree Hill. This is a big decision, and I don't want you to do this because of me. I moved back here for a reason, I'm happy in Tree Hill." And he was. Tree Hill was home to him. Truthfully, he did miss his mother, but they talked all the time. He was shocked that Brooke had been considering moving. He always assumed she'd be interested in a college close to home and he meant what he said about not wanting her to do this for him. It was important to him that she followed her dreams.

"I understand that, babe. But I want to. I applied to NYU a long time ago, and I'm going to accept."

He stared at her, looking for any traces of doubt. When he found none, he sighed. "How long have you been thinking about this?" It was obvious that she was set in her decision.

She shrugged. "I've known for a while now that I want to be with you, Julian. And like I said, I applied to NYU a while ago; before any of this happened. Now, are you going to come with me? Or am I gonna have to leave your cute butt behind?" She teased, smiling.

He laughed, shaking his head. "Well, I suppose I could go with you. Life would be pretty boring without Brooke Davis."

She grinned, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him close.

"You're damn right, mister. And don't you forget it."

* * *

"Parrrrrtttaayyyy!"

"I think the entire school is here." Brooke muttered, looking around at the large group of people in front of her.

Her, Julian, Nathan and Haley had just gotten to Tim's house party and to say she was shocked at the turn out would be an understatement.

"Who knew Tim knew this many people?" Julian laughed, shaking his head.

"Hey guys! Want a drink?" Tim greeted excitedly, waving them over to the kitchen.

An hour after they arrived, Haley and Brooke were sitting on the couch, watching Tim attempting to dance with a girl a few feet away. He was practically groping her. It was highly amusing.

"I'm gonna go look for the bathroom."

Haley nodded, laughing at Tim. "I'll wait for you in here."

"If you see Julian, let him know I'll be right back." Brooke told Haley, turning to make her way toward where she assumed to be the bathroom.

It was difficult to get around everyone without running in to someone. Unfortunately, it was inevitable that she was going to bump into someone and when she did, she bit back a groan.

"Brooke."

She offered him a small smile. "Hey Jake. How are you?"

"Good, you?"

"I'm good. Do you know where the bathroom is?" To say she was uncomfortable would be the understatement of the century. She'd done a good job avoiding Peyton over the last month, and though Jake was no Peyton, it was almost the same thing.

"Uh, yeah. The one downstairs has a line, but if I remember correctly, there's a bathroom upstairs, on the right."

Brooke nodded, smiling. "Thanks Jake. See ya!" She bolted upstairs, being careful not to bump into the couple making out against the railing. _Ew._

She looked around, impressed. The 2nd floor was almost completely empty. Frowning, she noticed all the doors were closed and could only imagine the things going on behind them. That brought her to her next dilemma. Jake said the bathroom was on the right. Which one of the 4 doors to her right was the bathroom?

Sighing, Brooke made her way toward one of the doors, praying it was the bathroom.

It wasn't. She could see two people moving around under the comforter on the bed and immediately took a step back.

"Oh my God, I am _SO_ sorry." She went to slam the door shut when she saw a familiar shirt lying on the floor close to the doorway. The shirt belonged to Peyton.

But if Peyton was up here in bed with someone, and Jake was downstairs, who was she with?

"Brooke?"

She froze, the door just barely closing when she heard her name. Her heart dropped and everything inside her told her to turn around and go back downstairs. Her mind was screaming at her to run, but her feet weren't listening.

Instead, she cracked the door open, unable to believe what was happening before her. She was fully convinced that her mind was playing tricks on her, and what she was seeing was just a figment of her imagination. A very screwed up figment.

"Brooke, wait!"

It was then that her mind finally grasped what was going on and she backed away from the door. She could hear someone hopping around, no doubt pulling their clothes on. She didn't stick around to see them running out of the bedroom, looking around for her.

Instead, she turned around, bolting toward the steps. She could hear him calling her name, but she ignored him.

"Brooke?" Haley was looking at her, concerned.

"I have to go." She knew it was only a matter of time before he got downstairs and she needed to be gone when that happened.

"What? What happened?"

She could hear him calling her name over the loud music, making her more anxious to get out of there. "I'll call you later." She mumbled quickly, making a beeline for the door.

She contemplated staying to hear what he had to say, but she didn't.

Nothing he said could justify what she'd just seen.

Nothing.

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**Don't hate me! I'm already starting the next chapter, and I promiseeee it won't be months before I update!**

**Oh and by the way - I know the story is supposed to take place a few years ago, but I feel like EVERYTHING I watch lately has Jersey Shore references, and I love it so I wanted to include it. That part amused me LOL**

**Review and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!**


	21. Chapter 20

You guys rock! The site is being a little screwy, so I apologize in advance for any errors. I'm hoping everything I corrected, stays corrected, but who knows! Long A/N at the end! Enjoy!

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Disclaimer - Same as always! One Tree Hill and the characters belong to the CW and the creators!

**Chapter 20**

"Where's Brooke?"

Haley turned to Julian, thoroughly confused. She had no idea what was going on. One minute Brooke was sitting next to her on the couch, laughing at Tim being a neanderthal and 5 minutes later she was running out the door almost in tears.

"She left."

"She left?"

Haley nodded, glancing at him curiously. "Where have you been?" She hadn't seen him or Nathan in at least 45 minutes.

"I was upstairs. I'm gonna go check on Brooke. I'll see you later, Haley." He didn't give her a chance to respond before he was walking toward the door.

Haley stared after Julian, shaking her head. What the hell was going on?

"What's going on?" Nathan asked, walking up behind her, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist.

"Your guess is as good as mine."

* * *

When Julian pulled into the driveway, he was surprised to see a dark house. He expected Brooke's bedroom light to at least be on. _I hope she's here._

"Brooke?" He called, shutting the door behind him.

"Go away." He jumped slightly, surprised to hear her voice so close.

"What's going on?" He asked, walking into the living room. He couldn't believe she was sitting here in the pitch black. She hated the dark.

"Please Julian, I just want to be alone right now." She mumbled, sniffling. She was trying not to cry, in fact she felt like a fool for crying. But no matter how hard she tried to stop, the tears just kept coming.

"Talk to me." He insisted, sitting down on the coffee table in front of her. "What's got you so upset?" She was sitting on the couch, hugging her legs to her chest. He hated to see her like this.

She was silent for a while, not knowing where to start. She didn't want to argue with him, and she felt like this would just upset him. She wanted to be honest with him, though.

"I saw Lucas in bed with Peyton." She turned away from him, though she knew he more than likely couldn't see her.

Julian frowned. He hadn't been expecting that. "Are you okay?" Knowing Brooke, he knew this was hurting her, and while a small part of him couldn't help but be jealous, he understood. Her and Lucas were together for a long time; she'd barely had any time to grieve their break up.

"Apparently not." She cried. "I'm sorry, Julian. You shouldn't have to see this." She didn't bother trying to wipe away the tears streaming down her cheeks. She felt like an idiot sitting there crying about her ex-boyfriend to her current boyfriend.

He sighed. "Don't apologize for how you feel, Brooke."

"This isn't fair to you, me sitting her crying over Lucas. I don't even know why I'm crying!" She ran her fingers through her hair, aggravated. "I mean seriously! Is this revenge? Is this Peyton's way to get back at me? And what about Jake? They were a couple like 5 minutes ago!"

Julian sat back, letting her vent. She needed to get this out.

"I wish I could bleach my brain right now. I just keep picturing them together and I just wanna be sick. It's not like I expected Lucas to stay single forever." She sighed, leaning her forehead down on her knees. "It just hurt, you know? Seeing him with someone else, and with Peyton of all people. It caught me off guard." She paused, taking a deep breath. "Are you mad?" She finally asked, quietly.

He shook his head, getting up to sit beside her. "Of course I'm not mad, Brooke. I just wish there was something I could do."

She raised her head, looking at him. She was surprised how easy it was to see him in the dark. The light from the moon shining through the blinds helped out a lot. "Did it bother you? Seeing her with Jake?"

He shrugged. "It was a little strange in the very beginning, but it didn't really bother me. I think it's because I was over it, and at that point I may or may not have been crushin on a certain brunette." He smiled, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

She laughed, reaching up to wipe away her tears. "Should I be jealous?" She teased, smiling. This is exactly what she needed right now. _I'm so lucky._

"Very. Every girl should be jealous of her." He winked, reaching up to wipe away the rest of her tears. "Don't cry." He murmured softly.

She blushed, grateful they were still sitting in the dark. He always teased her when she turned red.

"Haley's probably like 'What the hell is going on?' right now." She laughed. "I left pretty quickly." She made a mental note to call her first thing in the morning.

Julian nodded. "She looked like she was going to hurt me before I left. Sorry I disappeared, by the way. I was watching the game with Nathan." He grinned.

"Why am I not surprised?" She smiled, shaking her head. "She probably thought I was upset with you."

"More than likely. She'll understand, though. She always does," He paused, unsure if he should continue. "You know… maybe you should talk to Lucas."

She looked at him, confused. "Why? I really don't have much to say to him. Peyton either, for the matter," She rolled her eyes, annoyed. "Especially Peyton." She muttered. She knew it was unfair to place more of the blame on Peyton, but she couldn't help it. Peyton was not one of her favorite people at the moment.

"I just think it might be a good idea. I think you might feel better if you do." He rubbed her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.

She thought about it for a few minutes, unsure of what to do. "I just don't think it's a good idea right now. Maybe after I cool down." She still wasn't sure.

Julian nodded. "Whenever you're ready."

"You're the best, have I ever told you that?" She smiled, leaning in to kiss him gently.

He smiled into the kiss. "I may have heard that a time or two, but feel free to let me know as often as you want." He smiled as she laughed. He knew this wasn't over, but he was glad she felt better for the moment. He could tell she wasn't sure about talking to Lucas, but he really thought it was a good idea. She needed the closure with Lucas, and he knew that she wouldn't feel better until then.

"Come on, let's get to bed." Julian stood up, offering her his hand.

She smiled, leaning over to kiss his hand gently. "You go ahead, I'll be up in a little while."

He nodded, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "I'll be upstairs if you need me."

She nodded, watching him walk upstairs. When she heard the bathroom door close upstairs, she sighed, laying her head back against the couch.

How could talking to Lucas be a good thing? She knew that Julian's heart was in the right place, but this had to be hard for him. If he were crying over Peyton, she would no doubt be jealous. She wouldn't be able to help it. But here he was, comforting her, wiping away her tears, and suggesting a talk between her and Lucas. A talk that she wasn't sure she could handle at the moment.

Seeing Lucas in bed with Peyton felt like a nightmare. That was the best way to describe it. She actually felt like a hypocrite, being in a relationship with Julian, and then freaking out when Peyton hooked up with Lucas.

What was that anyway? Were they together? Was it just a random one time thing? What about Jake? Ugh she was so confused.

She knew she wasn't upset because she wanted Lucas back. No, that wasn't it. She loved Julian. But a part of her would always love Lucas, too. He was her first love, and there would always be a piece of her heart that belonged to him. It was that part of her heart that ached at the sight of him with another girl.

She sighed, standing up to make her way upstairs. All she wanted to do right now was lay in Julian's arms and forget this entire night happened. She knew this wasn't going to go away, and she wasn't looking forward to seeing Lucas or Peyton at school on Monday. In fact, if it were up to her, she'd avoid them both for the rest of the year.

Wishful thinking.

* * *

"She's gone."

Peyton nodded, not bothering to look up. She'd gotten redressed as soon as Lucas ran out the door, but couldn't force herself to go downstairs.

"What am I going to do?" Lucas sighed, sitting down besides her, burying his face in his hands.

"There's not much you can do." She felt guilty. She'd been keeping Jake at arms length for the past few weeks, just to jump in bed with Lucas at the drop of a hat. She would be lying if she said she felt bad for Brooke, but she did, however, feel bad for Lucas. Seeing him sitting beside her, obviously upset, she couldn't help but feel like this was her fault. She knew he wasn't into her, just like she wasn't into him. Getting carried away with each other obviously wasn't the brightest idea, but what's done was done. Nothing they could do about it now.

"Are you going to tell Jake?" He asked after a long silence. He really didn't know what to say. Peyton was his friend, and he'd be lying if he said he had feelings for her past that. He wasn't positive, but it seemed that Peyton felt the same way. Not to mention, he knew that her and Jake had gotten pretty close in the past few months.

She frowned, looking down. "I guess I should, huh?" That wasn't going to be a fun conversation.

He nodded. "He should know."

"What are you going to do about Brooke?" She couldn't help but ask, with the way he'd flown downstairs just 15 minutes before. She'd been surprised, too, when Brooke walked in.

Lucas sighed, shaking his head. "I have no idea. She probably doesn't want to talk to me right now," He paused. "I can't say that I want to talk to her either, but I think it's time."

Peyton nodded. "Maybe it is."

He looked at her. "Maybe it's time you guys talked also." Though he knew none of this was his fault, he felt bad that Brooke and Peyton weren't friends anymore. They'd been practically sisiters.

She shook her head. "I can't talk to her, Luke. I'm still so angry. I thought that with time, the anger would go away, but every time I see them together… Ugh, it just makes me so mad."

He nodded. "I know what you mean. I think I memorized where they are at all times in school so I don't have to see them together."

She laughed, shaking her head. "That's pretty bad."

He chuckled, nodding. "It is. But I just can't do it. The first few days back, every time I saw him touch her; I wanted to punch him."

She sighed. "He never looked at me the way he looks at her." She looked down. "I'd like to say that I'm not jealous, but I am. I think that's why I'm so angry. I can't help it, though. I really loved him. I still love him. But he loves her. Even a blind man can see that."

He frowned, unsure of what to say. He knew exactly how Peyton felt. Luckily, she broke the silence between them quick.

"I should go find Jake."

Lucas nodded, watching her walk to the door. "Good luck."

She laughed lightly, turning back to face him. "You're a good guy, Lucas. You'll get through this, and when you do… You'll find a girl who will make even the best girlfriend in the world look bad."

He smiled. "From your mouth to God's ears."

* * *

Too soon, Brooke and Julian were walking from the student parking lot to meet Haley and Nathan.

"Have you talked to your mom?" She asked, wrapping her arm around his waist.

He nodded, smiling. "I called her while you were in the shower yesterday. She said 'hi'. She cried when I told her we were moving in a few months." He chuckled, remembering how emotional his mother got.

"I'm pretty excited myself." She smiled, leaning up to kiss his cheek. "I should call my parents."

He laughed at the frown on her face. "How long has it been since you've spoken to them?"

"Last month some time. I haven't seen them in almost 6 months. I may see them more, living in New York. That's pretty sad."

He nodded, tightening his arm around her shoulders. She didn't have to tell him that it bothered her, he knew. "I can't wait to meet them." He smiled.

"I can. Victoria isn't the nicest human being in the world." She could see Nathan and Haley sitting at their usual table.

"Well, I want to meet the two people who brought my beautiful girlfriend into the world, and thank them, because she's allll mine."

She laughed, shaking her head. "Hey guys." She greeted, sitting beside Haley.

"What's up guys?" Julian reached over, bumping fists with Nathan and sitting beside him.

"Morning. Ready for today?" Haley asked, looking at Brooke. Now that she knew what happened at the party, she couldn't blame Brooke for leaving the way she did.

Brooke shook her head. "Nope."

"Speaking of." Nathan nodded behind Brooke and Haley, causing the girls to turn around. Lucas was standing about 20 feet away from them, talking to Jake. As if sensing their attention, he turned toward the group, locking eyes with Brooke.

Brooke sighed, sending him a sad smile. She was still upset about everything, but she couldn't help but notice that this was the first time that Lucas wasn't rushing to get away from her.

"Go talk to him."

She turned to Julian, hesitating. "Are you sure?" The last thing she wanted was to hurt him. She still felt terrible about the breakdown she had on Friday night. She felt like the world's worst girlfriend, so upset about an ex.

"I'm sure. Go ahead." It was difficult, but Julian was trying to be as understanding as possible. All weekend, he tried putting himself in her shoes, trying to understand why she was as upset as she was. While a small part of him wanted to be the jealous boyfriend and be angry with her, the larger part, the part that loved Brooke, knew it wouldn't be fair to be angry.

Brooke looked at Haley, taking a deep breath. Haley gave her a reassuring smile, reaching over to squeeze her hand. "We'll be here when you're done."

Brooke nodded, standing up. "I'll be right back." She gave Julian a small smile, the butterflies fluttered nervously in her stomach.

She turned toward Lucas, not surprised when he began walking toward her, meeting her half way. They stood there for a few awkward seconds, not knowing where to begin.

"Hi." They both greeted at the same time. Brooke laughed as Lucas smiled timidly.

"Let's sit." She suggested, nodding her head toward a table a few feet away.

As she followed him, she turned to look at Julian, smiling when they made eye contact. He smiled back before turning his attention to Nathan. She knew he was giving her her privacy, and she loved him for it.

She took a deep breath, turning to follow Lucas the rest of the way. She sat down in front of him, trying to calm her nerves. This wasn't going to be an easy conversation, she knew.

Here goes nothing.

* * *

**Long A/N (Sorry!) You guys are the best! Thank you so much for all of your amazing reviews! ****A few of you did figure out that it was Lucas with Peyton, good job! That was actually a last minute decision. So glad you guys enjoyed it! I'm sure many of you are breathing a sigh of relief that it wasn't Julian.**

**Also, a few of you brought up that it wouldn't make sense for Brooke to react that way if it were Lucas. In my opinion, even though Brooke has found love in Julian, a part of her will always love Lucas. It's very difficult to forget your first true love. Not to mention, she did walk in on Lucas with Peyton of all people! So try to keep that in mind!**

**Next chapter is the last and then I will be posting an epilogue. I can't believe it! Thank you guys SO much for sticking with me. I'm a little sad to see the end, but excited all the same! Also, if you like Twilight, I wrote a short Jacob and Bella fic called "Tug of War". So if you're interested, check it out! =)**

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter :) Leave me a review and let me know what you think!**


	22. Chapter 21

**Here it is! Last chapter. A/N on the bottom. Enjoy!**

* * *

Disclaimer: One Tree Hill belongs to the creators & the CW.

**Chapter 21**

"I'm not really sure what to say." Lucas kept his eyes downcast, not able to meet her eyes. He'd done a pretty good job avoiding this conversation thus far, he wished he could avoid it longer. No such luck, though.

Brooke nodded. She definitely understood. Sitting across from Lucas, she felt so many emotions, she wasn't sure which one to focus on. She was hurt by what she'd seen, guilty for letting it bother her so much, but most of all, she was a ball of nerves not knowing where to start or what to say.

"I'm sorry for what you saw the other night, Brooke. It wasn't what you thought."

She stared at him for a second, confused. "What do you mean 'it wasn't what I thought'?" There wasn't much else they could have been doing in a guest bed room- at a party- undressed.

"We didn't. We almost did. But we didn't. You stopped us." He was thankful that she did. She'd saved him from making a mistake he'd never be able to take back. His feelings for Peyton were purely platonic; and while he knew that the little bit that _did_ happen in that bedroom that night would affect their friendship, having sex would have definitely done a lot more damage.

"Oh." She wasn't sure what to say. She felt guilty for how relieved she was. It wasn't fair to be relieved that Lucas hadn't slept with another woman.

He nodded, looking down. "We were drinking, and I saw you come in with Julian, so I was upset," Brooke frowned. "We went upstairs and we were talking. She was talking about Jake, I was talking about you and before I knew it- well you saw."

Brooke grimaced, not wanting to think about it. She'd done enough of that over the last few days.

"Lucas, I'm sorry-"

He cut her off, finally looking up. Her heart broke at the defeated look on his face. "Why him, Brooke? I don't understand. I thought we were happy. I thought _you_ were happy." He couldn't help but ask the questions that had been plaguing him since their break up.

She looked down, taking a deep shaky breath. His questions didn't surprise her, she knew they were coming. "I was happy, Luke. This thing with Julian," She was crying now, but didn't move to wipe away her tears. "It came out of no where. I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you."

"I know." He sighed. "I know you didn't want to hurt me, Brooke. But that doesn't make this any easier."

She nodded, finally reaching up to wipe away her tears, cursing herself for being so weak. She didn't deserve to cry. "You'll never know how sorry I am, Lucas."

"When did it start?"

"When Peyton and Julian broke up-"

"Jesus Brooke. That was _months _ago!"

She winced. "Please listen to me."

He exhaled loudly, rubbing his face in aggravation. "Go ahead."

"When Peyton and Julian broke up, I confronted him. It wasn't on purpose; I didn't go looking for him. I saw him at the café and I just couldn't help myself. I was so mad at him for what he was putting Peyton through. So I screamed at him. A lot. Eventually, he told me about his mom, and I just felt so bad. I told him he should tell Peyton, but he didn't want to tell anyone. I still to this day don't understand what made him tell me." She paused, looking at the blank expression on his face. It was hard to tell what was going through his head. She took a deep breath and continued. "So I kept his secret. I wanted to tell you, but I promised. After that, whenever something happened, or he just needed to talk, since I was the only one who knew what was going on, he came to me."

"You should have told me, Brooke." He sighed, putting his head in his hands. "I know you're not done… Go on."

"I know I should have told you. But this wasn't just some random gossip. Anyway, it became inevitable that we were going to get closer. I didn't realize that my feelings were changing for a while- Are you sure you want to hear this?" When he nodded, she continued. Her heart was pounding by this point. "I think I knew that Julian had feelings for me for a while at this point, but I just looked past them. I loved you. I still love you, Luke. It was difficult for me to just forget that. But after a while, I just couldn't ignore it." She was crying again, her voice shaking as she spoke. "When he moved, that was when I knew for sure. But even then, I didn't want to lose you. What we had, it was real. I didn't want to ruin that. But then Julian came back, and his grandmother died, and I had to be there for him. Just like I would have had it been you, or Haley, or Nathan. As soon as I saw him at Haley's- I knew I had to tell you." She looked down. "I'm so sorry, Luke. I really am."

They were quiet for several minutes, both of them trying to sort through their emotions.

Finally he looked up, and she frowned when she saw the tears in his eyes. "Thank you." His voice was barely above a whisper.

She wasn't sure what he was thanking her for, but she nodded anyway. "I know that this might not mean anything right now, but I hope some day down the road we're able to be friends. You mean a lot to me, Lucas. It's hard to imagine my life without you in it."

He sighed. "I'm not sure when that day will be, but if and when it comes; you'll be the first to know."

She smiled sadly, wiping away the last of her tears. While things weren't great, she felt like maybe they could be one day.

"Have you thought about talking to Peyton?" He'd been wondering about that from the beginning of this mess. Brooke and Peyton had been best friends for so long; it really was strange to see them so distant.

She frowned, shrugging. "I'm really not sure if it's a good idea. I know she's still mad at me, and I'm not really happy with her. Maybe it's best this way?" She wasn't sure when or if Peyton would forgive her.

He nodded. "So what's the plan for after graduation?"

Brooke paused, panicking. Did she want to tell him her plans to move with Julian? Sure they were on better terms, but that didn't change how the information might affect him. She didn't want to lie. He didn't deserve to be lied to.

"I actually got accepted to NYU."

He smiled. "Congratulations! NYU is a great school." A part of him was upset that she was leaving, but he knew it was for the best. He'd never be able to move on otherwise.

She smiled in return, nodding. "It is. Thank you. I'm pretty excited myself." Every time she thought of it, she got excited all over again.

"Julian going with you?" He couldn't help but ask, though he knew the answer would do more harm than good. Curiosity killed the cat, right?

"He is. His mom is there, and he misses her." She decided to leave it at that. She could tell by the look on his face that this was hurting him.

When the bell rang, Brooke looked toward the table where Julian was standing. Meeting her eyes, he smiled before walking into the school, giving her a minute.

"Thanks for talking to me, Luke." She meant it. It hurt her to see him rushing to get away from her all the time.

He stood up, offering her a small smile. "Thanks for talking to me, too." He turned to walk away, pausing when she spoke.

"I'll see you around?" Her tone was hopeful, but she couldn't help it. Though they still had a few weeks left of school, she wasn't ready to say goodbye to him yet.

He turned toward her, nodding. "I'll see you around, Brooke Davis." He smiled, turning to walk toward the school.

She stood there for a moment, trying to calm herself down. The last half hour had been a whirlwind of emotions and she felt drained. It was worth it, though. She was glad that they'd finally talked. It was overdue. Lucas deserved those answers a long time ago, and she was glad to finally give them to him.

As she walked inside, she wasn't surprised to see Julian leaning against her locker, waiting for her. She smiled, walking up to him and giving him a tight hug, silently thanking him for the time spent with Lucas. She made a mental note to be a better girlfriend; a girlfriend that he deserved. In her eyes, he deserved so much more than she'd been giving lately.

"Everything okay?" He asked, kissing her forehead. He kept his arms around her, holding her tightly against his chest, not wanting to let her go for another second.

She nodded, leaning up to kiss him softly, sighing in content at the feel of his lips on hers. When she pulled away, she smiled widely, snuggling closer to his body.

"Everything is okay."

And for the first time in a long time; it was true.

* * *

"Lucas Scott." The principal's voice was loud and clear through the packed auditorium. "Nathan Scott."

Brooke smiled from her seat, clapping loudly for her friends. She couldn't believe this day had finally come. Graduation.

It was a bitter sweet feeling, saying goodbye to a place that had been like a 2nd home for the past 4 years of your life. However, it was exciting knowing that this was just a chapter of her life coming to an end, and that another chapter would begin in just a few days.

It was hard to imagine that in less than a week; her entire life would be different. She and Julian had two days before the big move, and while she was nervous, she was looking forward to it.

The graduation ceremony was something she wouldn't soon forget. The valedictorian's speech moved her to tears, with memories of her past and promises of her tomorrows. Throwing her cap in the air, with an eruption of elation surrounding her was both the happiest and saddest moment of her life. This was a goodbye.

"Congratulations, Brooke."

She'd been searching for her friends for what seemed like forever when she heard the undeniable voice. She turned quickly, unable to believe it. "Mom?"

Victoria smiled, stepping forward to wrap her arms around her daughter. "Your father and I are very proud of you, Brooke."

There were tears in her eyes as she hugger her mom back, the shock of seeing her standing there had not yet warn off. This was the first time in her life that she could remember Victoria saying she was proud of her.

"I can't believe you're here." She felt tears making her way down her cheeks as she turned to see her father standing behind her mother, smiling widely.

"Congratulations darling." He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly.

"Brooke?"

She turned, smiling at Julian. She didn't move from the comfort of her fathers arms; one of the safest places she would ever know.

"Brooke, who's this?" Her mother asked, curiously. She'd never seen him before.

"Julian, these are my parents." She gave her father one last squeeze before moving to stand beside Julian. She reached down, intertwining her fingers with his. She gave his hand a squeeze as she smiled. "Mom. Dad. This is Julian, my boyfriend."

For a moment, Brooke was worried that they'd mention Lucas, but was relieved when Victoria smiled. "Julian. It's a pleasure to meet you." She reached forward to shake his hand, her father doing the same.

"I'm so happy to finally meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Davis." He'd never understand Brooke's relationship with her parents, with them being away on business 85% of the year, but that didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was that they were here now, on a day that was important to Brooke, and that the smile on her face was bigger and brighter than he'd ever seen before.

He made a vow right then and there that he would spend every moment of every day making sure that smile never left her face.

For the rest of _their _lives.

* * *

It's true when they say when one door closes, another door opens. Growing up and moving on to new things is natural, though few people take the time to appreciate what they've already been given in their life.

Brooke stood in her nearly empty bed room, remembering the good times she'd had over the last 18 years. This room had seen a lot of good memories, and its fair share of bad. Though she was excited to move to New York, saying goodbye to her childhood home made her heart heavy.

It was in this room that she and Peyton had their first sleepover. They were ten. They'd stayed up until 6:00 in the morning, scurrying to bed when Victoria poked her head into the room to check on them. Thankfully, they hadn't been caught, but it had been a close one.

It was in this room that Lucas had given Brooke her very first kiss. She smiled sadly at the memory. It was the night of their first date, and she could still to this day remember how disappointed she'd been when he'd given her a kiss on the cheek at her door. It was also that night that he'd climbed the tree right outside her window, almost giving her a heart attack when he knocked. After letting him in, she'd barely gotten the chance to whisper-yell at him when he'd kissed her. Her first real kiss.

It was in this room that she'd shared her first kiss with Julian on their first official night as a couple. Months later, and she still got butterflies thinking about it.

"I think that's everything." Julian said, walking into her room.

She nodded, taking a deep breath. "Let's go." She turned to him, smiling sadly. Though her eyes had been glassy for the past 15 minutes of reminiscing, she thankfully hadn't cried yet.

"Babe? What's wrong?" As soon as she turned, the first thing he noticed was the tears in her eyes.

She shook her head, trying to blink away the traitorous tears. "I'm fine. Just a little sad."

He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her forehead tenderly. "Do you want a few more minutes?" He understood that this was difficult for her. She was saying leaving her home. Honestly, he'd been expecting her to break down a lot earlier.

She shook her head. "No. Let's go." She leaned up, kissing him softly. "I'm ready."

Walking downstairs, Julian walked outside, giving Brooke a few seconds alone.

She walked toward the open front door, turning to look around. This was it. This was the official goodbye to her childhood. She stood there in the doorway, breathing in the familiar scent of her home, making a mental note to always remember this moment.

After locking the door, she made her way toward where Julian, Nathan and Haley were standing next to her car. All their stuff was on its way to Julian's mom's house, where they'd be living until they found a place of their own.

"So when is Victoria putting the house up for sale?"

"This summer. The house should sell relatively quick, I'm sure. So when we visit, you're stuck with us, Tutor Girl." Brooke smiled as everyone laughed.

Haley smiled. "I'm fine with that." It was hard imagining a life without Brooke Davis. Though they weren't best friends from the beginning like her and Peyton, Haley considered Brooke to be one of the best friends she would ever have.

"Flight leaves at 3?" Nathan asked, glancing at his watch. It was just after noon. Julian nodded.

Brooke frowned, knowing they had to get going soon. Airport security was insane this time of year. She almost wished that they weren't leaving so soon after graduation. She wanted to spend more time with her friends. But, Julian and Brooke had both decided that leaving early in the summer was a better idea. They wanted to have the few months before school to get settled in and look for a place to live. They wanted to make living with his mom as temporary as possible.

"I miss you already."

"I'll miss you, too, Tutor Girl." She stepped closer to Haley, wrapping her arms around her and hugging her close. This was one of the moments Brooke wasn't looking forward to. Haley was like a sister to her, and it wasn't going to be the same not seeing her all the time.

"They're so going to cry." Julian whispered to Nathan, chuckling softly.

Nathan laughed, nodding. "Definitely."

"We'll see you guys for Spring Break, right?"

Nathan nodded. He couldn't wait to go to New York. He knew Haley was looking forward to it as well.

"Call me when you get there." Haley whispered, finally pulling away from Brooke. She reached up, wiping away her tears, laughing as Brooke did the same. Promising each other they wouldn't cry was a joke. Of course they were going to cry!

Brooke nodded. "I will. And Julian and I will be down as soon as we can afford it." She turned toward Nathan. "I'm gonna miss you boy toy."

Nathan laughed, shaking his head. He was never going to live that down. "Get over here, Davis." He opened his arms wide, wrapping them around her as soon as she stepped closer.

"Thanks for everything, Nate. You're a good friend." Brooke whispered, hugging him tightly. She would be forever grateful for all that Nathan had done for her and Julian.

"Alright kids, be careful. New York is a big place. Don't forget us small town people." Nathan smiled, releasing Brooke and moving to wrap his arms around Haley's shoulders.

Brooke laughed, walking toward the passenger side of her car. There was no way she was going to be able to drive. She fully expected to cry the entire way to the airport. _Poor Julian._

"We'll call you guys when we get there." Julian shook hands with Nathan, leaning in to give his friend a firm hug. He was sure going to miss having Nathan around.

"Take care, man."

Julian nodded, taking a step back before leaning down to hug Haley.

"Take good care of her, okay?" He could tell that Haley was still crying so he squeezed her tightly.

"You have my word." He whispered back, smiling as he released her.

He walked over to the driver's side, getting in and buckling his seat belt. He looked over at Brooke, frowning at the tears in her eyes. "Ready?"

She nodded, giving him a watery smile. "Ready." She took a deep shaky breath, leaning her head back as he pulled out of the drive way.

With a heavy heart, she gave Haley and Nathan one final wave as Julian followed the familiar roads to the nearest airport.

"You okay?" Julian asked after several minutes of silence. He knew she was upset; hell _he _was sad leaving Tree Hill. He reached over, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

She smiled, threading their fingers together. "I will be."

It was uplifting, finally knowing what she wanted to do; where she wanted to be.

She no longer needed to ask the question 'Where do we go from here?' The answer was simple; you go wherever your life takes you. You follow the roads, make a few stops along the way, and you live your life. You don't need a map; you don't need a plan. You need to make mistakes; have regrets; learn lessons.

"Julian?"

"Hmm?" He kept his eyes on the road.

"Where do we go from here?"

He was silent for a long time, thinking.

"I'm not sure." She nodded, turning to look out the window. It was an honest answer. One that she'd been giving herself the last few months.

"But let's find out together, okay?"

She smiled. "Well you know what that means don't you?"

He shrugged, looking over at the mischievous smile on her face. "What?" He chuckled, shaking his head. "What does that mean?"

"It means you're stuck with me now." She smiled at the exaggerated terrified look on his face.

"That's pretty scary."

She laughed, punching him in the arm. "Julian Baker!"

He chuckled, rubbing his arm. "Ow! You know I didn't mean that."

"What did you really mean, then?"

"Being stuck with you?" She nodded. "Sounds perfect."

She smiled, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

"Much better." She sat back in her seat, enjoying the comfortable silence. Well, that was until he spoke again a few minutes later.

"Perfect _and _scary- Ow!"

The End.

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**You guys are the best. Thank you so much for sticking with me! To everyone who reviewed/alerted this story- your support means so much to me, thank you. To those who have been following along quietly, thank you. I hope that you decide to leave a review on the last chapter and tell me what you thought. **

**I will be posting an epilogue within the next few weeks, so be on the look out for that!**

**I'm thinking about posting another story in the near future, though if I do I'm going to wait until it's halfway complete before posting. It will definitely be about Brooke, however I'm unsure it will be Brooke/Julian or Brooke/Lucas. What do you guys think?**

**Again, thank you so much! **

**XOXO,**

**Katie**


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